Das letzte Tag des Jahres...viel Glueck.
Ich erinnere mich an diesen Tag, vor viele Jahren. Gute Leute, gute Zeiten. Einige schlechte Zeiten auch...
Heute Abend...wer kennt? Nur Gott...
Ich liebe Leben.
Friday, December 28, 2007
I didn't want to say this, but bottling things up isn't healthy.
I sound terrible. Just ghastly. I didn't play for almost two whole weeks, and my sound has gone to the dogs.
I know that my sound will come back in time...but do I have enough time?
I need to practice more!
OPO, FFA, various recordings and ensemble auditions are coming up.
This makes me sad.
Okay, I said it. Sorry for being a downer.
I sound terrible. Just ghastly. I didn't play for almost two whole weeks, and my sound has gone to the dogs.
I know that my sound will come back in time...but do I have enough time?
I need to practice more!
OPO, FFA, various recordings and ensemble auditions are coming up.
This makes me sad.
Okay, I said it. Sorry for being a downer.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Merry Christmas, friends! Remember remember what all this celebration is for. God becoming man. The birth of the savior of the world. Jesus Christ.
P.S. Sometimes it really gets to me that I can't listen to music and practice at the same time. I'm having a hard time turing off this new Enya CD.
I LOVE all my gifts!
P.S. Sometimes it really gets to me that I can't listen to music and practice at the same time. I'm having a hard time turing off this new Enya CD.
I LOVE all my gifts!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
I think I'm in love.
The past week or so has been simply amazing. As you know, I went on a cruise with my family. About 16 or so altogether, I never actually counted, but it seemed that everywhere I turned there was another family member.
We cruised to Cozumel, Mexico, where we visited Mayan ruins. So cool. I mean, you learn all about this stuff at school, but it all seems so distant, like everything was SOO different back then. But it really wasn't...visiting the place where the Mayans lived made it much more real to me. They had the same beautiful view that we have now, the same crystal clear blue water, the same palm trees and the same sun...
Getting to the excursion was a problem. We took a water taxi for a 35-minute ride there and back (no other choice, as we were traveling from the island to mainland Mexico), and it was pretty darn terrible. The boat rocked so much that they gave out barf bags BEFORE the trip. I cried by the end because my stoamch just couldn't take any more. Worst boat ride ever, pretty much.
The other excursion we took was at Belize. Rappelling and zip lining. SO AWESOME. I would love to do it again. We zipped through the RAINFOREST!! There's another place you hear about all the time at school. I've been inside a rainforest!! It was so quiet in there, so still. And I didn't see any animals besides some very vicious-looking ants. It's crazy, you think rainforest and you think life...but all I saw was a great expanse of green.
Getting there was sad. We took a 90 minute bus ride to get to our destination, and the tour of the Belize homes was not encouraging. Poverty makes me so sad... Every time there was something nice in the city, our tour guide would tell us that it was a gift from a different country. Canada gave them the bridge we drove over and the water treatment facility, another country gave the beautiful statue in the center of town. Vitually all the houses had bars over the windows to protect against thieves.
In addition, there was an ORANGE GROVE in the middle of the rainforest. I saw with my own eyes the destruction of the rainforest for money. No so simple as you might think, though...you travel through, and you see the beautiful rainforest as well as the human poverty, the rainforest as well as the reason for destruction. Seems like there must be a better way...
(I know I'mn rambling now, try to stay with me).
On either end of these excursions was a day at sea entirely on the ship. These days were great. I would read my book in the sun, eat free food, soak in the hottub, climb the rock wall...I know that it sounds boring but these days flew by. Mainly because I would sleep until noon.
Also, my waiter was awesome.
Yesterday was yet another successful Christmas party. Woo! We all had a good time spreading Christmas cheer, I think (and stealing each other's white elephant gifts). Gold ball makes hands bleed.
The end.
We cruised to Cozumel, Mexico, where we visited Mayan ruins. So cool. I mean, you learn all about this stuff at school, but it all seems so distant, like everything was SOO different back then. But it really wasn't...visiting the place where the Mayans lived made it much more real to me. They had the same beautiful view that we have now, the same crystal clear blue water, the same palm trees and the same sun...
Getting to the excursion was a problem. We took a water taxi for a 35-minute ride there and back (no other choice, as we were traveling from the island to mainland Mexico), and it was pretty darn terrible. The boat rocked so much that they gave out barf bags BEFORE the trip. I cried by the end because my stoamch just couldn't take any more. Worst boat ride ever, pretty much.
The other excursion we took was at Belize. Rappelling and zip lining. SO AWESOME. I would love to do it again. We zipped through the RAINFOREST!! There's another place you hear about all the time at school. I've been inside a rainforest!! It was so quiet in there, so still. And I didn't see any animals besides some very vicious-looking ants. It's crazy, you think rainforest and you think life...but all I saw was a great expanse of green.
Getting there was sad. We took a 90 minute bus ride to get to our destination, and the tour of the Belize homes was not encouraging. Poverty makes me so sad... Every time there was something nice in the city, our tour guide would tell us that it was a gift from a different country. Canada gave them the bridge we drove over and the water treatment facility, another country gave the beautiful statue in the center of town. Vitually all the houses had bars over the windows to protect against thieves.
In addition, there was an ORANGE GROVE in the middle of the rainforest. I saw with my own eyes the destruction of the rainforest for money. No so simple as you might think, though...you travel through, and you see the beautiful rainforest as well as the human poverty, the rainforest as well as the reason for destruction. Seems like there must be a better way...
(I know I'mn rambling now, try to stay with me).
On either end of these excursions was a day at sea entirely on the ship. These days were great. I would read my book in the sun, eat free food, soak in the hottub, climb the rock wall...I know that it sounds boring but these days flew by. Mainly because I would sleep until noon.
Also, my waiter was awesome.
Yesterday was yet another successful Christmas party. Woo! We all had a good time spreading Christmas cheer, I think (and stealing each other's white elephant gifts). Gold ball makes hands bleed.
The end.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Friday, December 14, 2007
I miss Bernie already, lol.
CRUISE TOMORROW EEEEEEE!!!!!
The guy who cuts my hair is hilarious. He's this 40-something very Italian man named Vittorio. He's got a thick accent, and everytime I get my hair cut (like twice a year) he asks me about my boyfriend, even though most times I don't have a boyfriend. Today he told me that since I'm a good girl, I need a bad boy. Then he proceeded to keep asking me if I was interested in older men (implying that I would go out with him). I told him I basically like guys my own age. He was very dissapointed.
...really good haircut this time, though. It's pretty short, but I like it.
Catch you guys on the flip side.
p.s. the PSJ library is terrible.
CRUISE TOMORROW EEEEEEE!!!!!
The guy who cuts my hair is hilarious. He's this 40-something very Italian man named Vittorio. He's got a thick accent, and everytime I get my hair cut (like twice a year) he asks me about my boyfriend, even though most times I don't have a boyfriend. Today he told me that since I'm a good girl, I need a bad boy. Then he proceeded to keep asking me if I was interested in older men (implying that I would go out with him). I told him I basically like guys my own age. He was very dissapointed.
...really good haircut this time, though. It's pretty short, but I like it.
Catch you guys on the flip side.
p.s. the PSJ library is terrible.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
You guys have no idea how happy I am to finally be back and done with the semester. It was a tough one. I've been literally dancing around my room since I've been home.
No work this winter!!!
And a 5-day cruise coming up, starting this Saturday!!! 5 days full of Aztec ruins, rappelling, food, fun, and family!! And NO FLUTE for a week while it is sent away to get a COA. WOOO!!!
I am so psyched about these next three weeks. It's gonna be so greeeat. Like Frosted Flakes.
(p.s. The other day, I realized for the first time in my life that Tony the Tiger says "they're grrrrreat!" because tigers say "grrrr." Ich bin intelligent.)
No work this winter!!!
And a 5-day cruise coming up, starting this Saturday!!! 5 days full of Aztec ruins, rappelling, food, fun, and family!! And NO FLUTE for a week while it is sent away to get a COA. WOOO!!!
I am so psyched about these next three weeks. It's gonna be so greeeat. Like Frosted Flakes.
(p.s. The other day, I realized for the first time in my life that Tony the Tiger says "they're grrrrreat!" because tigers say "grrrr." Ich bin intelligent.)
You know, sometimes you win in life and sometimes you lose.
I lost on my paper.
"This is a nice essay--accurate in its information, well organized, and clearly written. It's just not on the assigned topic, which was the BAROQUE.
F D "
He put an F an crossed it out just to make me feel worse, I think. Like...you ALMOST failed this paper...but out of the goodness of my heart I will give you a D instead.
Can't say I wasn't expecting it though...
Well, it's probably a C in the class. I guess there's a first time for everything.
I lost on my paper.
"This is a nice essay--accurate in its information, well organized, and clearly written. It's just not on the assigned topic, which was the BAROQUE.
He put an F an crossed it out just to make me feel worse, I think. Like...you ALMOST failed this paper...but out of the goodness of my heart I will give you a D instead.
Can't say I wasn't expecting it though...
Well, it's probably a C in the class. I guess there's a first time for everything.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
I love Florida so much. I love it love it.
I love that it is early-mid December and the high today was probably near the eighties.
I hate the cold. It makes my hands crack and bleed, it makes me tired all the time, it makes me never want to get out of bed, it makes me carry around giant coats, and it's COLD!
I would be happy if the weather every day is like it was today: perfect.
I love the beach. I love the palm trees (though you don't see many in Tallahassee). I love the sandals, the tanks tops. The open windows in the middle of December. The Florida lifestyle.
Sometimes we don't stop to think about how lucky we are to live here (for those of you who live in Florida). I hear about my friends in the north who have been trudging through snow in 20 degree weather EVERY DAY, every time they walk outside...finals have been cancelled, flights have been delayed...and here we are in Florida, still walking to school in shorts and a hat to keep the sun out of the eyes...it's incredible the blessings we have that we never even think to acknowledge...
I am going to be so sad when I inevidably have to move away someday...move somewhere up north, where it's cold, always cold, even in the summer...grad school or a job, sooner or later I will have to leave the land I love...
For now, though, I'll enjoy it while it lasts.
I love that it is early-mid December and the high today was probably near the eighties.
I hate the cold. It makes my hands crack and bleed, it makes me tired all the time, it makes me never want to get out of bed, it makes me carry around giant coats, and it's COLD!
I would be happy if the weather every day is like it was today: perfect.
I love the beach. I love the palm trees (though you don't see many in Tallahassee). I love the sandals, the tanks tops. The open windows in the middle of December. The Florida lifestyle.
Sometimes we don't stop to think about how lucky we are to live here (for those of you who live in Florida). I hear about my friends in the north who have been trudging through snow in 20 degree weather EVERY DAY, every time they walk outside...finals have been cancelled, flights have been delayed...and here we are in Florida, still walking to school in shorts and a hat to keep the sun out of the eyes...it's incredible the blessings we have that we never even think to acknowledge...
I am going to be so sad when I inevidably have to move away someday...move somewhere up north, where it's cold, always cold, even in the summer...grad school or a job, sooner or later I will have to leave the land I love...
For now, though, I'll enjoy it while it lasts.
HAHAHA ICH SPRECHE DEUTSCH!
Diese macht mich toller als dich.
Du verstehest nicht!...Du sprechest nur eine Sprache!! HAHAHA!
(Wenn dein Name Jon Brown ist...du verstehest, dass ich komisch bin).
Mein Pruefung ist Heute! Ahhhh!!!
Ich sollte wirklich jetzt studieren, aber ich wünsche nicht zu. Sooooo....wenn ich nach Hause gehen, wird ich "Folkus Deutsch" ansehen...hehe. ICH WILL NACH HAUSE GEHEN!! Das Studieren ist zu viel Arbeit...auch, ich möchte üben, aber ich habe keine Zeit.
:(
Diese macht mich toller als dich.
Du verstehest nicht!...Du sprechest nur eine Sprache!! HAHAHA!
(Wenn dein Name Jon Brown ist...du verstehest, dass ich komisch bin).
Mein Pruefung ist Heute! Ahhhh!!!
Ich sollte wirklich jetzt studieren, aber ich wünsche nicht zu. Sooooo....wenn ich nach Hause gehen, wird ich "Folkus Deutsch" ansehen...hehe. ICH WILL NACH HAUSE GEHEN!! Das Studieren ist zu viel Arbeit...auch, ich möchte üben, aber ich habe keine Zeit.
:(
Monday, December 10, 2007
It's probably a good thing that tetris isn't working today.
19th century styles paper status: almost two pages completed (out of five)
History status: one and a half chapters of review still to write. All chapters still to study!
German status: haven't started studying yet! Independent learning still to do.
19th century styles paper status: almost two pages completed (out of five)
History status: one and a half chapters of review still to write. All chapters still to study!
German status: haven't started studying yet! Independent learning still to do.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Friday, December 07, 2007
Thursday, December 06, 2007
10:50 PM
WC: 1956
Still got the bilblio to go
and I think I am dying just a little knowing that I am doing all this work and I will not get anything back for it because I am writing about the wrong century
well, nothing except knowledge
why warum pourquoi porqué 왜 γιατί waarom 为什么 perchè なぜ porque почему
WC: 1956
Still got the bilblio to go
and I think I am dying just a little knowing that I am doing all this work and I will not get anything back for it because I am writing about the wrong century
well, nothing except knowledge
why warum pourquoi porqué 왜 γιατί waarom 为什么 perchè なぜ porque почему
9:50 PM
WC: 1582
still the whole Counter-Reformation to discuss.
just realized that my topic is a completely inappropriate topic because it's about Renaissance music, not Baroque music.
oops.
guess I will not be getting a B in the class after all.
I really don't care at this point.
I just want to finish my paper.
and the class.
WC: 1582
still the whole Counter-Reformation to discuss.
just realized that my topic is a completely inappropriate topic because it's about Renaissance music, not Baroque music.
oops.
guess I will not be getting a B in the class after all.
I really don't care at this point.
I just want to finish my paper.
and the class.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Today has been a very strange day:
Hi Mr. Lutgens,
This is Ashley Stahl, a student at FSU. I applied to the FFA advanced
masterclass, and I was just wondering if you know who is in yet. Some of my
peers have heard already, and I thought it strange that I didn't get any info
yet. Just wondering!
Thanks a lot,
Ashley
I tried contacting you, but did not reach you! Congratulations! you are a winner! Letters went out late due to a death in a family of one of the judges.
Congrats.,
Karl
-------------------------------------------------
Dr. J:
"I would be suprised if you don't recieve an A in the class."
-------------------------------------------------
Congratulations to all who auditioned for the GALA Recital.
Those who were selected to perform are listed (in performance order) below....
....Concerto Mvt. 1 by Jacques Ibert - Ashley Stahl, flute and Yu Chien Chen, piano
-------------------------------------------------
Dear Ms. Stahl,
Thank you very much for submitting a CD in consideration for the Orlando Philharmonic's upcoming Principal Flute audition. Your CD was listened to and judged by the 7 member woodwind audition committee. I am pleased to tell you that your audition received enough votes for you to be advanced to the semi-final round of the audition, to be held on January 10, 2008....
.....Congratulations, and thank you again for your interest in the Orlando Philharmonic Orchestra.
-------------------------------------------------
What
This does not correspond to my health. Emotionally, I'm up in the clouds. I feel like I did the first time I made all-state as a freshman in high school. I was so excited that I asked my band director if I could use his phone to call my mom during class.
But physically, I feel like the life has been drained out of me. No worries, I know I will feel better by the time I wake up tomorrow. I know because I feel like this once every month...this month just happens to be a nasty one.
Hey guys
The Orlando Phil liked my playing
That makes me cool
Hi Mr. Lutgens,
This is Ashley Stahl, a student at FSU. I applied to the FFA advanced
masterclass, and I was just wondering if you know who is in yet. Some of my
peers have heard already, and I thought it strange that I didn't get any info
yet. Just wondering!
Thanks a lot,
Ashley
I tried contacting you, but did not reach you! Congratulations! you are a winner! Letters went out late due to a death in a family of one of the judges.
Congrats.,
Karl
-------------------------------------------------
Dr. J:
"I would be suprised if you don't recieve an A in the class."
-------------------------------------------------
Congratulations to all who auditioned for the GALA Recital.
Those who were selected to perform are listed (in performance order) below....
....Concerto Mvt. 1 by Jacques Ibert - Ashley Stahl, flute and Yu Chien Chen, piano
-------------------------------------------------
Dear Ms. Stahl,
Thank you very much for submitting a CD in consideration for the Orlando Philharmonic's upcoming Principal Flute audition. Your CD was listened to and judged by the 7 member woodwind audition committee. I am pleased to tell you that your audition received enough votes for you to be advanced to the semi-final round of the audition, to be held on January 10, 2008....
.....Congratulations, and thank you again for your interest in the Orlando Philharmonic Orchestra.
-------------------------------------------------
What
This does not correspond to my health. Emotionally, I'm up in the clouds. I feel like I did the first time I made all-state as a freshman in high school. I was so excited that I asked my band director if I could use his phone to call my mom during class.
But physically, I feel like the life has been drained out of me. No worries, I know I will feel better by the time I wake up tomorrow. I know because I feel like this once every month...this month just happens to be a nasty one.
Hey guys
The Orlando Phil liked my playing
That makes me cool
Monday, December 03, 2007
Sigh....
Always so much work....
Today I had my final conducting project and my 19th-century styles presentation. I was so nervous for them that I woke up about 5 times last night thinking about Brahms and Nimrod.
Can't really tell if the presentations went well or not, but I did my best so I guess I'll take whatever they decide to give me...grades are such a funny concept. I mean, coming into conducting I really knew nothing about the subject. Now I know quite a bit. And I will somehow be assigned a grade on how well I learned to conduct. It's just funny that we get grades for learning things.
(I don't know if this is making any sense. Like I said, not much sleep last night).
Still to do:
Write hist paper (by Friday)
Write 19th century styles paper (next Thursday)
German Plauderai
German exam (next Tues)
Hist. exam (next Thurs)
Gala audition, recitals, normal homework, finish getting flute notebook together, blah blah blah...all the normal stuff.
Oh man. It never ends. Until two weeks from today...
Always so much work....
Today I had my final conducting project and my 19th-century styles presentation. I was so nervous for them that I woke up about 5 times last night thinking about Brahms and Nimrod.
Can't really tell if the presentations went well or not, but I did my best so I guess I'll take whatever they decide to give me...grades are such a funny concept. I mean, coming into conducting I really knew nothing about the subject. Now I know quite a bit. And I will somehow be assigned a grade on how well I learned to conduct. It's just funny that we get grades for learning things.
(I don't know if this is making any sense. Like I said, not much sleep last night).
Still to do:
Write hist paper (by Friday)
Write 19th century styles paper (next Thursday)
German Plauderai
German exam (next Tues)
Hist. exam (next Thurs)
Gala audition, recitals, normal homework, finish getting flute notebook together, blah blah blah...all the normal stuff.
Oh man. It never ends. Until two weeks from today...
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Always remember
The first of December
For that is the day
That Ashley could FINALLY play
That excerpt for piccolo,
The Tchaik 4 solo.
It's been a long and hard war. Every practice session was a battle that I could win or lose. I would win the battle if I made progress by the end of the practice session; I would lose the battle if I gave up in the middle, frustrated, dejected, cursing Tchaikovsky, and wanting to never play piccolo again. I have to admit that I am pretty sure I have lost more battle than I have won.
But I kept trying. I would come back, days or weeks or even months later and pick up the excerpt again, ready to give it another try. This went on for how long?...I don't even know. At least three years now...three years of hatred for that excerpt...three years of mental block, three years of thinking, I will never be able to play this. It's beyond me. Three years of playing it poorly in EVERY SINGLE audition and losing the audition because of that...
And yet, I made progress the whole time. Inching every slowly towards my goal, oh, now I can play the ending run. Wait, now I can play it at a faster tempo. How is it that I can now play the opening more cleanly? You never know quite when these things happen, you just know that one day you take your instrument out and suddenly you can do things that were just beyond your reach before. It's a mystery to me.
And yesterday, the 1st of December 2007, I finally finally finally won the war. I played it at tempo. The F spoke. I played the run at the end. The opening wasn't a problem. I played it again just to be sure it wasn't a fluke. I played it again and again and again...and then I stopped playing it. I walked out into the hall, hoping that someone, anyone, would be there and I could tell them that I can finally play the Tchaik 4 piccolo excerpt.
Nobody was there. So I opened my arms wide and said to the empty hall, "I can play it."
I can play it.
FINALLY.
The first of December
For that is the day
That Ashley could FINALLY play
That excerpt for piccolo,
The Tchaik 4 solo.
It's been a long and hard war. Every practice session was a battle that I could win or lose. I would win the battle if I made progress by the end of the practice session; I would lose the battle if I gave up in the middle, frustrated, dejected, cursing Tchaikovsky, and wanting to never play piccolo again. I have to admit that I am pretty sure I have lost more battle than I have won.
But I kept trying. I would come back, days or weeks or even months later and pick up the excerpt again, ready to give it another try. This went on for how long?...I don't even know. At least three years now...three years of hatred for that excerpt...three years of mental block, three years of thinking, I will never be able to play this. It's beyond me. Three years of playing it poorly in EVERY SINGLE audition and losing the audition because of that...
And yet, I made progress the whole time. Inching every slowly towards my goal, oh, now I can play the ending run. Wait, now I can play it at a faster tempo. How is it that I can now play the opening more cleanly? You never know quite when these things happen, you just know that one day you take your instrument out and suddenly you can do things that were just beyond your reach before. It's a mystery to me.
And yesterday, the 1st of December 2007, I finally finally finally won the war. I played it at tempo. The F spoke. I played the run at the end. The opening wasn't a problem. I played it again just to be sure it wasn't a fluke. I played it again and again and again...and then I stopped playing it. I walked out into the hall, hoping that someone, anyone, would be there and I could tell them that I can finally play the Tchaik 4 piccolo excerpt.
Nobody was there. So I opened my arms wide and said to the empty hall, "I can play it."
I can play it.
FINALLY.
