So, uh, I guess I'm off the market again.
Sorry boys.

EDIT: No, it's not true. And you can't imagine how much joy I got out of seeing everyone's reaction to this. Happy April Fool's Day, loyal readers!!!

Some things are happening.

The pianist in my sextet told me today that my sound was very "thick" and "round." Those are good things for a sound to be...right?

(Grrr...those guys have adulterated my mind. This post doesn't sound normal to me anymore. Pennies in the jar...)

So far, 6 out of 7 summer festivals agree...

I hate the music industry so much sometimes. It's just rejection after rejection after rejection, with no break in the rejection. And it happens every year, every blasted year I get outright rejected from more than six summer festivals. Sometimes I have to wonder, why do I even try? Am I ever going to get onto the waiting list at some of these places? Are my efforts null?

Classical music is just as hard to work with as pop music. Maybe harder. At least people like pop music. You can't really have a fan base as a flute player.

Maybe that's why I have been shying away from music lately. I don't want to deal with all of this right now. It's a time for celebration, not rejection.

It was an amazing weekend any way you look at it. I won't go into detail. Those of you involved, you know who you are. Thank you. Thank you for being my friend.

Sigh..now it's back to normal life again. But wait...wait a minute...I DON'T GO TO SCHOOL OR PRACTICE ANYMORE!!! THERE'S NO WORK TO GO BACK TO!!!! HAHAHAHA SUCKAHS!!!

(I'll look back to this time of my life with deep longing someday.)

I love my friends so much, I'm finding it hard to describe right now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHLEY!!!

Sorry your apartment got so trashed. :(

Today's gonna be a great day. The Excitetisville Gang is coming to Tallahassee, and I couldn't be more happy! And my roommates are going to make sure I have a good time at the party--the way my 21st should have been.

::annoys person in front of me::

WELL...I don't know about you guys, but I slept really well last night.

So for anyone who cares...I went to court today to finally contest my right on red ticket from November. There were about 20 cases there, and maybe 13 of them were dismissed because the officer didn't show up. Mine wasn't one of those cases.

It was really scary, I mean my heart was pounding so hard when the judge asked for my story, I could barely talk. But I managed to explain that it was really dark out, the sign is six lanes away, and the turn was safe. He then asked me if I had ever driven on that street before, and if I had ever seen the sign before, and I said that I had never noticed it before.

The judge decreed that I pay the full cost and take driving school, but no points will go onto my record. So basically I got nothing out of contesting my ticket, because I had the driving school option to begin with.

JERKS

I can relate to Smalls. He's short, he's got no skills, he's new in town, he never really knows what's going on, he doesn't get the jokes people make, he plays with kids who are way better than him...still he has true love of the game, and that's worth a lot.

"You're killin me, Smalls!!"

sounds mysteriously like
"You're killin me, Stahl!!"

I sound really bad on flute right now. It's because I don't practice anymore.

Will begin to practice again starting...now.

My court date is tomorrow. OH NO YOU DI-INT.

I took a nap today, and once again I had a bout of sleep paralysis. I didn't see things this time, but I heard my mom and my grandma's voice right outside my door, clear as day. I thought they might have been here to surprise me for my birthday. But they aren't, cause that was a hallucination.

Billy Joel says that you'll pay for your satisfaction somewhere along the line, but what he fails to mention is that you'll also pay for your pain somewhere along the line. It works both ways you know, and it all evens out in the end. The sum is the same.

WEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was born happy.

Playing ultimate this much is reminding me a lot of my competitive gymnastics days. Nine years ago, I used to practice in five hour sessions three or four times a week--and that's a lot of workout, let me tell you. I remember always being sore, always having some kind of ache or pain, hardly ever knowing when or where it came from. But also being very happy, cause when you're healthy you're happy. And then being way stronger and faster than anybody in my class, even the guys. Oh how I miss that...

I guess I've never done anything super athletic since then, and have in consequence become a "skin and bones" type girl. It'd be nice to change that before I leave. I am going to be so sore tomorrow, it's not even funny. But it's making me stronger and better, so in the end it's worth it.

Oh, and I discovered today that cartwheels are still super fun. In a way, they somehow seem more natural than walking normally...

Click for Mr. Blue Sky

Sun is shinin' in the sky
There ain't a cloud in sight
It's stopped rainin' everybody's in a play
And don't you know
It's a beautiful new day hey, hey

Runnin' down the avenue
See how the sun shines brightly in the city
On the streets where once was pity
Mister blue sky is living here today hey, hey

Mister blue sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long
Where did we go wrong?

Hey you with the pretty face
Welcome to the human race
A celebration, mister blue sky's up there waitin'
And today is the day we've waited for

Hey there mister blue
We're so pleased to be with you
Look around see what you do
Everybody smiles at you

Mister blue sky, mister blue sky
Mister blue sky

Mister blue, you did it right
But soon comes mister night creepin' over
Now his hand is on your shoulder
Never mind I'll remember you this
I'll remember you this way

Mister blue sky please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long
Where did we go wrong?

Hey there mister blue
We're so pleased to be with you
Look around see what you do
Everybody smiles at you

I've been traveling for eight weekends in a row. Tomorrow will be the first weekend since Jan. 16th in which I haven't done any traveling. AND IF I WENT TO SEE JEANNIE B IN SC IT WOULDN'T BE TRUE.

Woah dude.

Oh, and I learned how to throw a hammer today. I mean, a real hammer (or more real...realer), not one that travels two feet in front of me and instantly drops to the ground. Someone in this world has patience to put up with my ineptness. I 'preciate that.

Landis Green was buzzing today,
And Publix as well was hoppin'
I sat on the grass with my face to the sun
And then had a good time shoppin'

I am just so happy with life right now, I almost can't believe it.

I have this feeling that everything for me is ending right now, that I'm closing all of my doors--but somehow at the same time, I feel that I have just begun to learn how to live. It's a strange thing to meet all these people from different places--people that I really like a lot--at the end of my time here in Tallahassee. I would say that it's ill-timed, but I know it's not. I did what I had to do these past three and a half years, working hard, practicing, and all of that was quite important, especially for the future. But my future is set now, and there's nothing more I can do for it, and I finally have a chance to live only in the present and to learn what I never got a chance to learn before--how to have fun.

And through all of my complaints about this city, I've predicted this before, and now it's coming true...
I'll regret leaving Tallahassee by the end.

God is good.

I'm highly suspicious that the bread I'm eating right now is moldy.

I think I practiced more today than the entire spring break combined.

Oh, and funny story--someone I have never seen before asked me today if I was "the flute girl" from blackboard. I said yes, and he congratulated me. Lolzors.

All I can think about nowadays is ultimate. It's like I'm in love or something, except with a sport instead of a guy.

So, uh, I played in my first ultimate league game. I was slightly confused most of the time. It's okay. I'll learn. It was a lot of fun, and I met a lot of really cool people. SO THERE.

OH I'M GONNA BE SORE
IT BURNS

Oh, and my face is red now.

Everybody deserves to wear pants.

Whoo doggie, this spring break has been full of fun and win. Four days of beach, one day of ultimate and playground, a trip to Melting Pot, my early birthday party with the family (I got an iPod Classic!!!), old home movies (aka, getting to see my dad as a teenager and with a full head of hair), a Bagel Bite party...I really don't know how it could get any better (unless I had time to practice among all that. I pretty much gave it up for the week. It's okay to do that now.) And the best part is that when I go back to Tally, I still won't have anything to do.

I am really happy with life right now. Tally tends to suck the happiness out of my life, so hopefully I've stored enough in the bank to get me through another month and a half.

Thanks for this week. It's absolutely what I needed.

New layout! What do you guys think?

I'm not sure I like it. I'll probably try another one soon.

I love me some beach.

This spring break is so happy. I am so glad to be here with my family and friends. I love it, love it, love it.
I'm not going to explain in detail, but I have been going through some heavy things recently, and this break has just been...revitalizing. I'm harvesting my happiness back. This is home, this is who I am.

Oops

This is my Jung type
and every career I have ever considered in my life is under the disfavored careers section. I'll write the list and bold the ones I wanted to be at some point when I was growing up so you can see how dramatic it is:

poet, artist, songwriter, musician, novelist, art therapist, theatre teacher, art curator, film editor, video game designer, photo journalist, travel writer, actor, record store owner, camera operator, art historian, music teacher

Oh, and all the careers under "favored careers" sound incredibly boring to me.

I'm playing with the idea of updating the look of my blog. I mean, let's be honest here--it's in need of repair. The cats pics from the side are gone, the bar at the top is blocking the title, I don't know how to make my profile visible, aaaaand an number of other things. What do you guys think, my faithful readers? Would you be upset if I changed the template?

It was a great day, everything about it was fun and enjoyable. But I am now unhappy. How does that even work?

I'm leaving Tally to go back home in the afternoon. I can't wait. You'd think that I wouldn't need a break as much as other years--after all, I'm practically not going to college anymore. But I really do need it, even more than other years. In the past, I needed spring break to unwind, to relax, to get away from papers and projects...now I need to escape. There are reasons besides stress to take a vacation. And home is the perfect place. I can't wait to hear those waves again, feel the sun on my face and the warm sand under my feet, and to smell the salt in the air. That's what I need right now.

I have only God.

Traveling the shores and walking on the sand,
Where I will be is where my heart lies

CHAINSAW INSIDE ME

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(Half of the people reading this wouldn't understand. The other half understand only too well.)

LOOKIT I'M ON BLACKBOARD

You gotta keep refreshing till my face is the face you see.

If I was a cookie, I'd be Famous Amos. (Even though those aren't that good. They're still famous.)

Oh, and Re: Sept. 24, 2008. That's when the process started.

I'm done!!!!!
No more auditions for the rest of the semester!

My last audition at LSU was a success, to say the least. I played for the flute professor and the band director. After my audition, I had a talk with the flute professor, and since I was the last audition, she was able to tell me that I was admitted, and that I was first on her list for a scholarship!!! I was number one!

(Unless you guys have been rejected as much as I have, and I doubt any of you have because I have been through a heckuvalot of rejection, you don't understand how satisfying this news is. I am so happy to finally hear that someone appreciates what I have done, so happy. I was beginning to lose hope, really..)

ANYWAY, she has two student graduating who hold full tuition waivers, and she is going to fight to be able to keep one of those. And it would go to me! In addition, she has created a scholarship in her own name for masters students, and that would go to me too! AND I WOULD GET PAID TO PLAY IN BAND. So, it would be amazingly affordable, way more than free.

I am so incredibly lucky to have all of this opportunity, and unless I get a similar deal at another school, it's going to be a very hard to turn down.

Baton Rouge, anyone?

Still, I am waiting to hear from my other schools. LSU would be offering me a lot of money, but it still wouldn't be offering me an assistantship. One of my goals in my masters degree is to get a lot of teaching experience, and even though I'll be able to teach wherever I go, nothing compares with having college teaching on your resume.

ALSO, I know I am going to have a great teacher wherever I go, but there is a big difference in the quality of the schools of music. When I was warming up for my audition, I played the piano in the practice room, and it honestly sounded like it was from a different planet, like it hadn't been tuned in like 4 years. It's a bad sign...

(No doubt ASU was my favorite school. Something about that place...)

Anyway, right now I get to sit back, take it easy, go to movies, hang out with friends, play some ultimate, go to RUF, do all of those things that I was unable to do because I was traveling every weekend. And one of these days, I'll be hearing from the other schools, and hopefully I'll have a decision to make in the end.

Note to self: don't listen to Mr. Mistoffelees unless you want to hear that line in your head for the next two weeks. You know which one I'm talking about...