Da piccolo!

I have a decision to make.

I am overjoyed with the progress I've made with double tounging and eliminating cracked notes. I knew that all that hard work would pay off, all that frustration and shouting. I knew it would pay off!
YESS!!!

Today also was a good day. I went shopping with mom and got three new shirts (we used the Copin Liszt yuck yuck yuck), stopped by Rebecca's, went to church (no getting up early tomorrow!), watched the Yankees win, watched a really good episode of Seinfeld, and practiced a whole bunch. And I didn't have to get up early! What a good day.

Thank you and amen!

Haha I'm writing this with an earplug in my right ear. I know, you probably think that's not funny. Oh well.

My most difficult deadly sin to cope with is envy.

Trust me, I'd love for my blog be more interesting than this, but my wit meter is at an all-time low. Sorry.

I pray for us all to stop thinking of this world, and rather think of heaven,
that we may be devoted to God instead of this world.

It's hard because we live in the world and we have not seen heaven.
What if it was the other way around: we lived in heaven and have not seen the world?
That would be...I don't know.

-------------------------------------------

One time in CCD class in about 5th grade, we were talking about the candle in the church that is always supposed to be lit. One really funny guy in the class asked "If someone tried to put the candle out, would God...like...punch him?"
I still laugh thinking about it.

Well, I thought it was funny.

"Awww, you're not my worst enemy! You're my best enemy!"

Yesterday when I practiced I didn't realize how much I was concentrating until someone called me and I got REALLY REALLY mad because it interupted my phrase and concentration.
It felt awesome to concentrate for so long. Throughout that time, I thought about nothing but the music I was working on. I think that that is an achievement in itself, really.
But what can I say? I'm German.

FSYO CDs!
YAAAY!
They make me happy.
I never realized how loud I was. But it's okay, because it sounds good for the most part.

Yeah. My life is very dull right now. I sleep, work, practice. Repeat.

Summer checklist:
Get flute playing ready for college
Hang out with friends, especially those who I won't see at FSU
Ride bike a lot
Go to beach a lot
Make money
Read
Read/study Bible
Sleep
Grow as a person
Generally prepare for college

I have a long way to go. But it's tough when you work eight hours a day.

I think my mom is mad at me, but I don't really know why, because I didn't do anything that isn't normal for me. She didn't talk to me at all this morning.

She's prolly just PMSing.

Wellp, time to go practice.

Today was not a good day.

I finished Harry Potter. I know I have heard some of those words before.

I don't think anyone who reads this knows who he is, but I ran into Shawn Hamm yesterday. It was so awesome. He's going to FSU, too.
(For everyone who doesn't know, Shawn is one of the people in the close-knit group of students that were in GSP together from Atlantis all the way to the end of Space Coast. That was back when girls could be friends with boys without everyone being stupid about it. He was always awesome.)

ALSO, I got my hair cut today, and the guy who cut my hair conversationally asked me how my boyfriend was doing. I said I didn't have one, and he mumbled something about boys being bad. Then he said that if he was eighteen, he would go out with me.

This summer just isn't living up to the other summers.

I still have a loose end that I need to fix. But I don't want to. Maybe I'll take the wimp way out.
Yeah, I like that idea.

Some guy was kept driving up and down my street yesterday (while I was practicing) in the loudest, most run-down looking car I have ever seen in my life. I think he was seeing how fast he could go or something. But it was pretty annoying.

I really miss being in an orchestra.
The good news is, I think I get my FSYO CDs tomorrow.

I believe that the London Symphony Orchestra is the best orchestra in the world and that Sarah Chang is the most dynamic performer in the world.

I was glad to see my best friend with tears of joy, and to spend the night with three of my favorite people in the world.

It was a wonderful night, just wonderful, and it didnt even involve any romance!

I am thankful for this morning. I finally got things done.

This week has been the most horrible week for practice time I have ever had. I haven't practiced more than one hour in any single day. I haven't practiced this little since...well...never.

I will practice a lot today and make up the time, no matter what it takes.
This week's practice is unacceptable to a performance major like me. Just flat out unacceptable.

"Mommy, kin you buy the spydah man bubble beath? I weally wont it."

I saw the best flute concert tonight. That twenty dollars was really well-spent. Just wow. I can't even believe someone is that good. He is a giant, I am merely an insignificant ant. AHHH. I'm so happy I got to see that.
I bought his CD and he signed it. ::sigh:: I think I'm in love.

I don't like keeping secrets for extended periods of time.

What a beautiful world.

I do believe that the sky looked somehow more blue today than it has in three years.

I had a weird dream last night.

I got a 5 on the AP music theory exam. It's only because I'm so awesome. And you're not.

Sharko is deciding to obey once again.

I might get to see a flute recital this Thursday by the PRINCIPLE FLUTE OF THE LONDON SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA.

Generally happy is what I am.

Thank you.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

For a split second tonight, I knew what happiness felt like once again.
And then as swiftly as a flash of lightning, it was gone.

The difference is, this time it wasn't a dream.
At least I don't think so.

Now, I am left with a joy infinitely greater
And a sadness infinitely deeper
Than could ever be achieved before this happened.

That was a good point, though.

Look on the bright side, Ashley. At least the world isn't being attacked by aliens.

::Comes back from flute camp::

I will post later. I am currently in the tired mode.

::Leaves for flute camp::

I suddenly get the feeling that I am not doing enough.

Dear Journal,
Today was a perfect day.

I went to Cracker Barrel today to pick up my check. The trip made me realize how incredibly sweet my new job is and how incredibly bad Cracker Barrel was.
INDEED
I am lucky.

You pretty much much know that someone's trying to look smart when he says "trash receptacle."
I probably didn't even spell that right.

Ya know, no matter how weird someone's name is, the birthday is always normal.
There's no such thing as an unusual birthday.

And that's the conclusion of Random Thoughts from Ash!

All around the mulberry bush,
The monkey chased the weasel.
All around the mulberry bush
POP goes the weasel.

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.

I am not lost.
It's all so clear now.
How could I have ever doubted?

Ring out the old
Ring in the new

Goodbye, freedom.
Hello, greed.

Goodbye, talent.
Hello, mediocrity.

Goodbye, sleep.
Hello, fatigue.

Goodbye, beach.
Hello, office building.

Goodbye, friends.
Hello, computer.

Goodbye, musical joy,
Hello, musical frustration.

Goodbye, heart of steel.
Hello, tears.

This summer is so incredibly different from the other summers.
I remember last summer (before I went to Interlochen). I went to the beach a lot. I was happy. Very happy. Excited. Determined. Hopeful. Joyful. Energetic. Focused. Popular. Healthy. Hard-working. Balanced.
I was getting better, everything was getting better. I was growing as a person, as a Christian, and as a flute player. I was working to make myself grow! I could see the results, and they were the fruit of my own labor! I could see it happening inside me! And it was the best feeling in the world. I, for the first time in my life, placed God in His rightful place.
At Interlochen things only got better.

This summer is not the same,
and I do know why.

Patience, dear. Only a little while longer and you'll be starting your new life.




When you wear earplugs for a while and then take them out, you realize how loud the world really is.
It's LOUD.

Last day of Cracker Barrel today.
I will bet lots of money that they'll still have me on the schedule next week.

I really need to practice.

I love how God made us all so different and unique. It takes all kinds to make the world go round, even the people you don't think it takes. I believe this. Every late night conversation I have opens up a new exploration into the human mind, and I learn so much every time. Although I understand very little of what I do not posess myself, I am able to observe the forces at work in others. I find it challenging and wonderful to delve so deeply into the brain of another. It amazes me, the information and perception I can gather in a single conversation. And everything I was previously ignorant of. Had no idea that it even existed. I can see clearly. It makes sense.
It just amazes me how differently people are made. How I can have a reaction to an event and somebody else can have a completely different reaction. I don't know. It's crazy and wonderful.

I may have saved more than one life tonight.