I think all I ate today was pizza and cookies.

Okay, well that's not true

....until after 8:00 AM.

If anyone is wondering what to get me this Christmas, I have an extensive wish list on Amazon. There are items with a variety of prices, so I'm sure you'll find something.
:)

I think I owe a lot of people money right now.

Please tell me if I owe you money.

Es gibt Gute und Schlechtes in jeder Person, sogar die, die wir nicht erwarten.

Sometimes I think of good things to write in here, but I forget them by the time I get a chance to write so you get posts like this instead.

Good news: my bike was not stolen!

I don't want to go back to Tallahassee. I don't want to drive for five hours. I don't want to write my research paper. I don't want to do my 19th century styles project. I don't even really want to practice or do those recordings.

What I do want to do is hang out with friends and play games all day.

Also eat cookies.

This break was great. It's tantalizing.

Christmas party
Party all night
Night watch
Watch out!

Happy Thanksgiving, friends of the blogsphere!

In honors of this day, I am going to write about...a dog.
I think my grandparents have the most annoying dog ever created.
I don't have anything against dogs. I like 'em well enough. I much prefer cats (I like their independence--reminds me of myself), but dogs are allright and can even be pretty fun as long as they aren't super annoying.

This dog is super annoying.

She's a little boston terrier named "Ladybug." She's about two years old but I don't think she ever learned her name because people call her a mixture of "Bug," "Lady" and "Ladybug." And yeah, she IS pretty cute...but cute doesn't make up for everything else.

The minute you walk in the house, you will be attacked. She circles around you, jumping and scratching your legs with her CLAWS. And then when you try to sit down she keeps jumping in your seat. And then if you do manage to sit down, she will jump into YOUR FACE and slobber all over you. On your arms, your face, your hair, all your clothes. If you try to push her away she will think you are playing and continue jump at you, but now with more violence. When she finally leaves you alone, she will find your shoes and chew on them. And then she will not give them back.

She won't play catch like a normal dog. You'll throw her toy and she'll just ignore it and then jump into your face and slobber.

While you are eating a meal, she will walk around and bite your toes and lick your feet throughout the meal. And when she's not doing that she's trying to jump into your lap.

She's really stupid, too. Whenever she goes for a walk she will eat everything in her path, including dirt and grass. My gradparents told me today that not too long ago she ate a LIVE FROG. And of course she was choking for while. When she finally threw it up again, it was still alive. Disgusting. And then she licks you with that same tongue. Ewww ewwwwwww.....

Cats are so much better than dogs, and if this post does not convince you, I don't know what will. No cat will slobber all over you and then eat a live frog. They aren't stupid, and they aren't annoying.

Home soon YAY!
5-hour drive BOO.

And she said -- "Tell me are you a Christian, child?"
And I said
"Ma'am I am tonight!"

(.....and every night!)

What an experience. God is awesome. That's all I'm gonna say.

Why does Wagner hate me. Why.

"Hitler liked Wagner...but did Wagner like Hitler?"
"Probably not. Wagner didn't like anybody. Except for that one lady."

Texas Sarasota Aspen Tanglewood Brevard Pacific
I'm goin' for 'em all this year.

I'm feeling pretty happy right now. A series of happy events happened for me, (and I don't even care that that was terrible English) which seems to actually be pretty normal for me around this time of year. I always have a big dip in self-esteem in the middle of the semester and then it comes back up around the middle and end of November. As Goran said, you can either have a static, unevenful life or one full of many highs and lows. "The sum is the same." That's what he said. Anyway...

In the past couple days, I've a few good preformances and one of them was for Goran Marcusson! Weee! I love that guy. He seemed to really like my playing, which REALLY helps with confidence. I've come to discover that the single most important attribute for a music performance is confidence. That's really what it's all about. If you've got it, you'll have a good performance every time. If you don't have it, you....well, you will not have a great performance every time. Confidence also ties into nerves. It's all connected.

Also, I found out today that I am an FFA young artist finalist! Yay! That means more Ibert! I have to say that I didn't really appreciate the music in the beginning (because it was hard and made me angry), but now I'm starting to love it.

Today I sent in my audition CD for the OPO principal flute audition. I feel like I am at a level now where I might just be able to advance to the next round. I had a feeling at the last audition that if it wasn't for my awful piccolo playing, I would have had a chance to advance. Now there's no piccolo involved, and maybe, just maybe, I've got a chance. You never know.
Anyway, it contribes to my happiness either way because I accomplished something by sending in that CD, and that's enough for me. That's four professional auditions now--that's way more than most players my age, I think.

Thanksgiving and winter break are coming up soon, and though I am prepared to work hard up until the very end, I'm excited at the prospect of a break. I'm not working this winter, so it'll be practice all day and party all night, or something of the sort. My family is going on a 5-day cruise the first 5 days I'm off school, and I'm sending my flute in to the repair shopduring that time, so that means the first real break--from flute, school, work, EVERYHTHING!--since summer. And THAT is exciting. We're going to Mexico!

I don't really know why I'm writing my life story here today, but I hope you enjoyed it. I hope some of my happiness rubs off on you, dear friend!

Messiaen is like a ninja. He can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants.

Man, what a great day learning-wise. Sometimes you just have to sit back and actually listen to what your professors tell you. They can be so wise.

The day started out in conducting where Dr. J gave a superb lecture.
"Life is a struggle marked by moments of extraordinary beauty...and the struggle makes those moments more beautiful."
"The audience can not know the difference between a quarter note and a flea market, but if there is something COMPELLING happening on stage, they will understand that."

Then in the lecture in music history with Dr. Seaton, he introduced the Baroque movement with such character--I've never thought of Baroque in that way before. And the doctrine of affections finally makes sense now.
"When you are in love, it's like you are getting into a box. You are IN love."

And then the Goran Marcusson masterclass later on. His masterclass are always simultaneously entertaining and educational, but the real wisdom in his words today were at the very end. Few people stayed for the whole class, but I think that everyone who did will tell you that it was well worth the wait to hear what made Goran push through all the failures and keep trying, again and again.

I am so happy right now. Really, as much as we complain about how they grade and how unfair they are, our teachers really have a lot to offer us. Nobody should ever skip a class taught by a professor as good as those two (or a masterclass as good as Goran's).

I've still got it.
That fire inside.

Nobody here on Earth can take that away.

My alarm clock did not exist this weekend.

Craig and I each take a cookie and stare at each other while eating

Craig: "Time for a cookie staredown."

In the last 24 hours, I have only spoken to two people.

Also, I am incapable of doing any work except practice this weekend. I can't make myself do it.

"Do you KNOW about Gesualdo?!"
"What? Of course I know about Gesualdo."
"He was crazy!!"
"Yes, yes he was."
"He killed his wife! He shot her and her lover and then stabbed them for good measure."
"Well he had to make sure they were dead."
"Then he used his fame as a murderer to sell collections of madrigals!"

"...and he rocked his wife's baby to death because it didn't look like him!
That man was CRAZY!"

Sometimes we live the consequences of our actions, and we discover that maybe somewhere along the line we didn't make the best choice possible.

But we really did.
We just don't know it.

I have made some bad choices this semester. Some bad choices in my past. But who would I be without bad choices? What would I learn from?

For example, now I know that when choosing between Blue Bunny Reese's and Heath, I should always go with Reese's.

DIFFERENT TOPIC
I started daydreaming in one of my classes today (I won't reveal which one), and I discovered that I really want to see The Matrix again. I've never seen the whole thing in one sitting, and you gotta see the classics every once in a while.

Anyone want to see The Matrix with me this weekend?

I really like minimalism.

I also really like playing the flute.
That may sound obvious, but a lot of music majors don't really like playing.
But I am one of the people who really love what they do.

I realize this from time to time....for example, in orchestra today, I was tired and worn out. I had been at school for 11 hours without a break in the activity, and yet I was still sad when we didn't finish playing the entire piece, when we didn't stay late to complete the rehearsal. I wanted to play it!!

There's always that time at night when you know you should go to bed, and even though you might really be tired, you just don't want to go to bed. You want to continue surfing the net, checking facebook, listening to music...it's the equivalent of a child saying, "But mom, I don't want to go to bed. I'm not tired..." and then falls asleep the minute his head touches the pillow.

We would probably still say that if our moms still set a bedtime for us.

Anything to procrastinate in college, huh? We've gotten to the point of procrastinating SLEEPING. You gotta be a hardcore procrastinator to be able to do that. But college students have mastered the art. You see, we procrastinate sleep at night and then use sleep as a procrastination technique during the day. You see? Genius.

Anyway, that time for me is right now. I have successfully wasted a perfectly good five minutes that I should have spent sleeping writing this post. I've mastered the art.

Die Buero macht mein Leben besser.

Oh man, I just watched my last conducting video...it was really bad. What was I doing? And why don't I remember them saying any of those things? I must have been really out of it that week. Course, that was Monday of the worst week ever.

Whywhywhywhwhywhywhywhywhywhywhwywhywywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhwywhywhy

I can't sleep
I know why

No better way to spend a Saturday night than to practice till 10, come home, pop in The Lord of the Rings, make some popcorn, and sit down with a music history textbook and a laptop to write questions with.

If there ever was a nerd in this world...it would be me.

Prof. Amsler, talking to me about a 20th century Rodrigo piece based on baroque melodies:

"I know why you like this piece. You like Baroque music, but you like Baroque music with vibrato."

lol. I confess. It's true.

So things are settling down a bit, and I am starting to be able to apprecite the good things in life again. Man, never say you are busy till you have a recital, a research paper, and a musical all at the same time. That was tough.

But now, I am able to practice, actually do my homework well, hang out with friends, take time for R and R, and sleep every night. It's really nice.
I'm mean, I'm still busy but it doesn't feel like it anymore because I've been to the limit. It feels like I have all the time in the world...