It's sad, but New Years is the holiday which makes me think the most. On New Year's eve, I become sentimental, contemplative, thinking about what I have done in the last year and how much I have grown. I think about what I should change, and it becomes a resolution. Two years ago it was to keep in touch with people better. This past year it was to just let go and have some fun. I accomplished both of them. What should it be this year? I'll figure it out eventually.

I also look forward to this party all year. I've been going to the same New Years party for...let's see...six years. This'll be the seventh. And it's just as good every year! Every year!

So, in conclusion...goodbye 2008. You were a good friend to me in so many ways. I don't doubt that I will have both better and worse years to come.

Hello 2009. Tell me about yourself...

2008, let's see...

Janurary
OPO principle flute audition, not too successful. Missing friends a lot. A heck of a lot of practice, spent a lot of time with Ibert. My first wind orchestra experience. A breakup that I could not believe, and the aftermath.

February
Second place in two flute competitions. Again, a lot of practicing. Living with my brother and having fun at home. Writing a speech about the Yankees and writing to my government representative for the first time.

March
Got the plague, missed an entire week of my life, missed playing for Ian Clarke twice. Got better just in time to have a great spring break. Visited Josh in J-ville. Got sick again. Turned 21, didn't get wasted but had a great party nonetheless.

April
Got waitlisted at Brevard and got really mad about it. Played for The Secret Garden. Received the Brautlecht Award. Mas n' Steel concert. Finished my research paper about Concierto de Aranjuez. Craig graduated. Discovered that the Rays were legit this year.

May
Worked a lot, started to develop the strong social circle that I have at home now. Listened to NPR a lot. Lots of natural disasters. Was scared about the fires in Brevard County. Got into American Idol. Watched a lot of baseball. Had another OPO audition, for second flute this time. Didn't perform well or even advance, fell into a musical depression. Made a good choice that I regretted later.

June
Vampire Weekend!! Still worked, listened to NPR, and watched Yankees a lot. Developed my friendship relationships further. Discovered a love of ultimate frisbee. Visited my relatives in Buffalo in my greatest trip ever.

July
Fourth of July at Cocoa like usual. Began serious studying for the GRE. Was thrown off course in my relationships. Began dating. Lots of social events. Met Liz Buck at Brevard and loved her. Went to Universal Studios. Had a very hard couple of days. For the first time in my life, was so distressed that I couldn't eat or sleep. Resolved the matter sufficiently but not happily.

August
Took the GRE. Escaped to Kansas City to concentrate on flute things. Met three potential teachers. Saw the Ritchie concerto performed. The Olympics started, Michael Phelps became a national hero. Hosted the barbecue, was wildly successful. School started, I made USO for the first time. Made it on to the sub list of a professional orchestra.

September
Was extremely absentminded the entire month, blamed it on having no responsibility over the summer. Went to the Rez and watched SNL every single Saturday. Started going to a different church. Some epic-ly beautiful weather. Had an extremely emotional experience. Became emo. Steve visited. Started to work on senior recital stuff.

October
A hard month emotionally. Lots of election hype. Amy Porter visited. Halloween Horror Nights and the THS band, loved to come home again, got my mind off of the sucky parts of life. Lots of grad apps. Tried to drink my troubles away on Halloween.

November
Gave my senior recital, it went very well. Got some kind of explanation. Obama became presiden-elect. Competed in the concerto competition, had a big letdown. A big recital months, supported a lot of colleagues. Saw the beavers. The Panama City USO trip. Drank my first beer. Got a ticket for turning right on red. Had a rad thanksgiving.

December
Did not have much schoolwork, became lazy in consequence. Had a good time nonetheless. Lot of Christmas parties. Sent my flute away. My mom graduated. Had a great Christmas. Lots of social events.

Went and bought a CD of an Icelandic minimalist/new age-y band, Sigur Ros, the other day. It's really awesome...probably my greatest discovery since Vampire Weekend.

Winter break is moving much too quickly. I am panicking!

You know something has gone amiss when you start thinking it's a good idea to sing Spice Girls songs at the top of your lungs.

Dear Life,
I like you. Do you like me? Check one
__yes
__no

Love,
Ashley

CHRISTmas is, as the song goes, the most wonderful time of the year. It doesn't matter what age you are. Getting together with family to celebrate the birth of Christ, eating and singing, telling stories and laughing together, exchanging presents...it doesn't get any better than that. I tell ya, it doesn't get any better than that.

My family sang the 12 Days of Christmas, and I caught it on tape. (I am the apartment cameraperson...it seems I have the same role at home too. That's cool.). It was glorious.

Santa got me a hot new long red winter coat with buttons down the front just like I asked for. So sweet. And WARM.

Tomorrow: boxing day!=shop till you drop (or until I get home)


-----------------------

Craig got a book called Piano Girl:
Dad: "Shouldn't you have gotten him Piano Boy?"

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Ugh, chick flicks. So unlike real life.

Years ago, I thought that high school was the good old days, and certainly they were some good times (SOME good times), but now I am convinced that the good old days are right now. I am so happy...I just don't know how my life could be any better than it is right now.

Because I know you are wondering, my top celebrity crushes (based on looks only, of course, because I am so shallow):

1) Orlando Bloom


2) James Franco (especially in this picture..Hottie McHotterson)


3) Elijah Wood


4) James Marsden


5) Nicholas D'Agosto (among other things, plays Hunter in The Office)


(This is my best post ever.)

BTW: the Christmas party was a great success, as it always is (and it's because of the guests, of course...not because of the host!). But it was...different this year. More...typical college party. Crazier. More alcohol. More loudness. Less conversation. I don't know, I'm not going to judge, it was just...different.

He's back! He's back! He's back!!!!
Time to practice!

He's still not back yet
I'm going crazy
I'm going crazy
I'm going insane

I miss my Burkart!
I'm falling behind
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ALL DAY

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I am so happy, so incredibly overjoyed for a friend of mine. To one who has always been there for me to help me to overcome so many obstacles, so many obstacles...I wish you God's blessing and all the joy in the world.
Way to go, my happy friend.

Today I rode my bike to Publix and then to Winn-Dixie to get some cookie-making supplies. It was a long trip. Good exercise.

Ultimate tomorrow, and hopefully I'll get my flute back.

Tonight I travelled the shores and walked on the sand.

Happy graduation, Mom! I'm proud of you!

It was a pretty great drive home. I didn't know how much I needed some alone time. In those five hours, all I have to do is to listen to music and think about things, so I did a great deal of both. Boy, if I could post on here during that drive, you would have a whole book to read by the end.

Five hours of time alone gives you an opportunity to transition. Like a rite of passage. I am entering my last semester at FSU. There is no possiblility that I will stay for another year or two. I'm leaving. And I have started to think about the future...
We look at our lives in the present. We rarely look at the possibilities that lie ahead of us. I have decided that my best moments--my happiest moments--are still yet to come. I'm 21 years old, and I probably haven't met yet the people who end up becoming the most important people in my life. I still have a lot of living left to do. And it is impossible to predict what is in store...for anybody! Isn't that exciting? You don't know what is going to happen!!!

(This is what Blue Cathedral, Rainbow Body, and Appalaichan Spring do to me. I had a good time.)

Hello, rest of my life.

Tonight's SNL off-the-wall musical skit about lamps reminded me of something I used to do back in the day. I called it an exercise in spontenaiety--basically I would try to write the most random things I could possibly think of, right on the spot. Anyone who didn't know me would doubt my sanity after reading one of these passages, but really it was a freeing thing to do--you should try sometime.

Anyway, I remember posting one in particular that got a lot of laughs at the time, so I think it's time for a repost. In honor of Amy Poehler's last night (sad face), here is my exercise in spontenaiety from September 2004:

Once upon a time in a faraway land there was a girl and her name wasn't Ashley or Ashlee or Ashely or even Ashleigh because those names are oh so overused. Indeed this girl's name was Lashley. One fair day she was wandering along an extremely straight road when suddenly she tripped over a toaster. Though quite puzzled that a toaster lay in the middle of the lonely road, she thought nothing of it and and proceeded to walk over it. That is, until the toaster grew and grew. The toaster then sprouted legs and arms and it picked Lashley up and ate her. As if that wasn't bad enough for the poor girl, the road moved and twisted in such a way that she no longer had any idea where she was anymore. And as if THAT wasn't bad enough, the toaster started to turn on the heat. Inside of the toasters toaster, Lashleigh struggled to free herself but to no avail. She was stuck, it seemed, to her death. But then something miraculous happened. A blade of grass from the neighboring lawn unrooted itself and began punching the toaster. The other blades of grass noted this action and soon the whole lawn was punching the toaster, demanding that it free Lashley. The toaster, quite perturbed, sprouted a mouth and demanded that the blades of grass perform a talent show before it freed Lashely. So they did. And indeed the grass had a lot of talent: one group of blades performed a rock concert, one blade calculated high-level Calulus problems in its head, another blade recited the entire dictionary from memory, and another troupe put on an entire circus for the toaster. And those listed were just some of the amazing acts in the show! The toaster grew increasingly astounded as it observed the shining talents of the grass. Of course, it had no idea that the lawn possessed so much talent. In return for such an amazing show, the toaster freed Lashlee and diminished its size. The blades of grass, who were ever-giving to the girl, showed her the way home, as the road had changed and she was rather lost. When Laashley arrived at her home, she snuggled into her bed, satisfied that she actually survived the whole ordeal. When she awoke the next day, she swallowed a spoon for good luck and the toaster never bothered her again. She later married the lawn, and they lived happily ever after.
The end.

I sent my baby away today. I hate this part, but it must be done.

I wonder if this is how parents feel when their kids go off to camp or something. Ha--what a comparison. But you know, the comparison isn't quite as ridiculously laughable as you would think. When people have children, the children become their LIFE. I don't have children, so I must have other important things in my life. High up in that list is my passion and my career, together in one topic--music. And though not having a flute may not damper my passion, it certainly can hurt my career.

Anyway...I miss him already. :(
Come back soon, Bernie Burkhart.

P.S. The Post Office on S. Adams St. gets two thumbs up! My shipping experience was a pleasure. I am impressed.

I love these crazy kids.

Mark and Jess are Jim and Pam because they terrorize Ashley, who is Dwight. I am the cameraperson because I am the uninvolved observer and I don't really take sides.

(I'm Michael too I guess, because as the oldest I am the boss--I have somehow become the unofficial leader of the apartment--and my job is to insert random funny comments into every conversation--kinda like my dad.)

Christmas with the apartment is a fun business.

What is the greatest threat to mankind?



ZZ Top.
It's a funny answer, okay?

My hands are cracking like woah. OUCH IT BURNS.

Winter does not agree with my ultra-dry skin. THIS IS WHY WE LIVE IN FLORIDA.

I just found some leftover biscuit and bacon on my desk that has been sitting there since breakfast 12 hours ago...and I ate it.

(They were delicious. Don't judge.)

You know, you expect some things to get easier with age and they just don't. You may not be quite as scared of the needle as you were as a kid, but it still hurts just as much when you get shots.

Must...practice...

On where I will be able to find an orchestra job:

A: "I'll probably end up in the worst city ever, like...Seattle or something."
J: "Maybe you'll find true love in Seattle."
A: "Who finds true love in SEATTLE?"
J: "Meg Ryan!...and Tom Hanks."
A: "As fictional characters?"
J: (nods) "pretty much..."

Lots of good things happened for me on this day a year ago.

Tomorrow my ultimate class is playing the other ultimate class (taught by the same teacher) in an ultimate battle of ultimate destiny. SHOW-DOWN. Hey look, I managed to write ultimate four times in a single sentence.

I don't know why I am so tired. I have literally no stress and I sleep 9 hours every night. Must be getting sick or something. BOO.

I bought a milkshake, and it did not bring any boys to the yard.

So I walked into my first class 15 minutes late today (::shakes fist at alarm clock::), and just as I was walking in, the teacher was saying, "well, that's about all I have for today." Then she smiled at me and thanked me for coming. And the whole class laughed. Impeccable timing, Ashley.

I guess it was bad and good...bad because I missed the entire content of the class, and good because I got more sleep while still making it in time to sign the roll sheet. Give and take.

Overall, I haven't had a good day, and I don't really know why. I could take a guess...

There are some things in life that people live with every day, and nobody ever notices that it is a burden except for that person. You know what I mean? If someone's hand is broken, and they can only write with their weak hand, sure, you'll notice that when you see the person. And you'll notice for a while how hard they have it. But when you part with that person to go on with the rest of your life, you no longer think about how hard it is to live with the use of only one hand...still, that doesn't change the fact that the burden is still there. That person is still only going to be able to use his weak hand, and he has to deal with that fact every second of every day until the cast comes off. That person is the only one who knows, who really knows the depth of difficulty in what he is dealing with. And I'm sorry, but there is no way you can understand how hard it truly is.

I think we all have a broken hand in some way or another, something that we have to deal with every second of every day, something that other people see and notice from time to time but will never truly understand.

I'm not a very good person. Just sayin.