Time for present superlatives! (Haha I crack myself up)

Most expensive present
Speakers in my car, cost and instillation amounting to $300, from parents.

Weirdest present
A tire gauge, from my grandpa. Weird.

Best smelling present
Bath and Body Works lotion and body wash, Sweet Pea, from Shannon. Man that stuff smells good.

Present most likely to be regifted
None. Everything I got was awesome!

Presents with a theme (I dont think thats a superlative but I like it)
Lord of the Rings merchandise: The Two Towers extended DVD, The Two Towers soundtrack, The Return of the King soundtrack, and The Two Towers day by day calendar (I'm gonna save all the pictures of Frodo.)

Funniest Present
The Lion King special edition DVD from Rebecca. I love the Lion King. I can't wait to watch it.

Best-tasting present
I don't know, but that fudge Rebecca made was pretty amazing. Kudos to that, my friend.

Most depressing present
Evanesance CD from mon oncle. Man every song on that is like a depressing breakup song or a depressing "I-want-you back" song or a depressing "I'll-do-anything-for-you-but-you'll-never-feel-the-same-way" song, but they are all totally awesome nonetheless.

....and, for the grand finale...
Best Present
Being able to celebrate the birth of Christ with my beloved family. (Aww but its true)

Ya know, opening a present you really really want or really really like is wonderful, but seeing someone open a present from you that they really really wanted or really really like is even better.

I also got to play some old school games on the 64 with Jill and Craig and Rebecca because Craig forgot his Gamecube controllers from school. Those were some good games we played back then, I'll tell ya. We went through Goldeneye, Mario Tennis, Crusin' World, Worms Armegaddeon, Battle Tanks (the stupidest game ever), Perfect Dark, F Zero X, and prolly ome other stuff that I can't remember. I even wanted to play old school Smash Bros. but we never got to it. I'm better at everything than I used to be, or Craig got worse. In some games it used to be unspeakable for me to win, but tonight I started winning. Yay! Oh happy days.
Also we played Christmas music. That was the best.

Ya know, when I start thinking about it, (What? Ash thinks about things?) I have so much to thank God for. I believe God has blessed me with a beautiful life full of beautiful people and wonderous events. I focus too much on the bad, and I often forget to count my blessings, although I certainly try to live every day as it was my last! Just one bad thing will happen to me among hundreds of good things and all I'll be able to think about is the bad thing and how it is going to ruin all the good things. And I'm sorry for that. But not gonna do it tonight. I'm here tonight to say my life is blessed, and nothing is ever going to change that!

THE GOOD OLD DAYS ARE RIGHT NOW!

Okay....that was awesome. Usually I'm not on hyper mode the whole night, but tonight I was, till about midnight. Hyper mode is s'dang fun!

Happy Holidays if I don't write before then!
Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel.

But I'll show them...I've got super dumb ninja secret agent skills and I'll kill them all with wooden swords from medieval times.

Every time an intelligent or worthwile thought enters my mind I repress it to remain the jolly, innocent, stupid person of the group.

Man I've been movin a mile a minute ever since school ended.
on the go
on the go
on the go go go.

Today is no different, bro.

Keep your head up, people. Its a harsh world out there. Sometimes.

My first babysitting experience tonight. Should be interesting. Pray for me, people.

Just finished LOTR: Return of the King. What did I think? I was slightly dissipointed. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was an awesome movie thats right up there with the other two. But the third book was just so amazing that it built me up for some phenonmonal movie and I just didnt get what I thought I would. Also, in my opinion some parts of it were overdone a little and got a bit too dramatic, but it was effective nontheless. I thought the first and second movie were better than the books but the third book beats the movie by far.
Still, the RoTK had amazing acting, amazing cinemetography, amazing costume design, sets, music (man theres no beatin that Rohan theme), etc. like usual. And it evoked more emotion than ever before. (Ill try not to give anything away but if you really dont want to know anything then dont read the rest of this paragraph.) Theres a part at the end where everyone was crying but Frodo and he was looking around at everyone crying and you could tell he was just as sad as everyone else was but somehow he just didn't cry like they did. Likewise, all the girls sitting with me in the theatre were crying at that point. I looked around at them and I felt the same things they did (I think) but I just didnt cry like them.
The last time I cried was at Cannon for numerous reasons (homesickness especially for my mom, lonliness, PMS, bad audition results, lost lipstick mode to start with) but before that I honestly can say I dont remember the last time I cried. I know I've never cried at a movie. I'm a robot when it comes to that stuff. Alyssa calls me a freak of nature. Yeah maybe.

Watch out because the rest of the post is gonna be complaining and stuff you dont care about so you can just stop right now if youd like.

Allright, whats with the whole deal of getting mad at me all of a sudden? I know I've changed a lot: I'm much louder, more obnoxious, more pushy, bolder, and more annoying, more girly girl, and (if its possible,) slower, along with other things, than before. Which reminds me:
Note to self: Dont talk anymore
Anyway, I know I'm all those things. Maybe its the people I'm hanging out with, which I highly doubt because Ive been hanging out with the same people for a long time. Maybe it's the stress of becoming a sort of "forced" leader. Heavens knows I'm not fit to be a leader....for anything...Maybe its just the way I was meant to be and its a part of me growing up. Maybe its the piled up responsibilities. Maybe I'm actually learning how to say what I think, instead of just letting things boil up in my mind before my head explodes.
But even with all these changes, people are getting mad at me for the stupidest reasons all of a sudden. I just want to cuss them out sometimes. Maybe give em a good kick in the head to let em know what reality is. Just enjoy life. Ugh. I need a break from people. Especially stupid ones. Oh yay we have a winter break. Thats very good.
And I can assure you that at least one (maybe more) person is gonna take this too personally and get mad at me (for a stupid reason-case and point).

Ya know whats hard? When you can't celebrate if youre happy about something. A good example was last year when I made drum major. I couldn't say a whole lot because some of my really good friends weren't happy with the results, and I was pretty much the only one happy with how things turned out. It sucks a lot when things like that happen, and it's starting to happen to me more often.

A whole new subject. Sometimes I just wish I could make guys like me. Not be able to care what other people think of me or them or what they think of other people. But it's not that simple. If they like me, either I don't know about it or there's a catch. If I like them, they never know about it because they would never guess it through my actions. Or they're just dumb. I just want things to go my way for once. Yeah I say "for once" but things have definitely gone my way before. I guess I'm lucky but I'm having a hard time seeing how at the moment. Realtionship-onally speaking, that is. I know I'm lucky in other ways of course. It just that such exciting new things are happening to many of my friends, and I'm just....sorta....here.

Last night was the devil. Got home pretty late to start with, but that wasn't the problem at all. I think it was around 11:15 when I tried to get to bed. I couldn't get to sleep until 1:30. I've been feeling very sick lately and I couldn't breathe through my nose and I was burning up and everything hurt and it just sucked. Then, once I got to sleep, I could only slept for short periods of time. I finally woke up at 5:00 and couldnt go back to sleep. Hooray for four hours of sleep when youre trying to fight being sick. But then the most amazing thing happened. In the morning, when I got up, I felt about 50% better. Magically. It was like none of that tossing and turning and feeling like bad ever happened, but I know it did. And I was convinced all night that I would feel like crope in the morning and that I'd have to miss the best day of zero block and wondering if I was gonna be okay for fourth block's exam. But then I get up and I feel better. I dont know whats up with that.

Something happy to even out all of the bad in this post...hmmm.
Amanda K and Neha and whoever bought the twizzlers in the theatre gave me lotsa candy opportunities today and it was very very good. :)

I'm in a negative mood

Oh man. The Central Steppes (sp?) of Asia in orchestra. I can honestly say that's my favorite piece of music I have ever heard. But it's not like I've never heard it before today....it was amazing two years ago too. Maybe I was just adreneline pumped today because we were going to play it, maybe I was just in a sentimental mood, but that song touches me like no other song. I had goosebumps the whole time we played it. I can't get over how beautiful it is. So pure, so exposed, so touching. Beautiful solos, beautiful melodies, sweeping crescendos that make you want to cry, man I live for that kind of music.

Also Childrens March and Variations on Hyden themes and Chorale and Alleluia, man that will make one heckofa program if thats what we end up playing. I really wanted to do Lincolnshire though :( I also really liked Liturgical Church Music. But, sadly, its not up to me to decide what we play. And if someday it is my choice, I wont be able to play it, I'll have to conduct it. What an [insert adjective here] world we live in.

Wish me luck on my physics exam ::grimace::

I was driving home today when it hit me:

WE ONLY HAVE TWO MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL LEFT. And theyre not even normal days. Theyre short exam days, which are much, much better. Plus I get to hang in Calc, with only half the students there.

I noticed theres a 2:1 boy:girl ratio in that class. Pretty interesting. And I think I'm the only girl junior. Even more interesting. It's like my music theory class in Cannon. There were ten boys and only two girls, me and Judith. Oh man those were the days. Dont get me started on Cannon, brain. I had a long conversation in lunch with Rebecca about cannon. I'm really glad theres someone I can talk to about it. I would go crazy if there wasnt. Funny how you think a month of your life isnt that long, but it really is. If you spent a month srtanded on an island with someone, youd get to know em pretty well. Thats what cannon was like, in a lesser sense. Youre with these same people for a whole month, and you all have a common love: music. And its so bittersweet because all the friends you make leave you after a month. I wonder if I'll ever forget all of them. Every once in a while I'll see someone and I'll think its someone from cannon. Like "Hey Megan!! Ohh..youre not Megan. Sorry"

Ugh I wish I was still at cannon. Pure music and friends. Thats what life should be like. And from what Craig says about college, thats what it is like. So Im ready. Oh wait I still have a year and a half of high school. Oh well high schools pretty cool too. I think...

Hello to my buds at cannon: Joelle, Eric, Megan, Melissa, Eva, Matt, William, Laura, Lauren, other Eric, Cristine, Paul (biology!), Bobby, Sarah, and if I missed anyone I'm sorry but you people prolly dont read this anyway!

Exam study time. OOOOHHH YEAAHHH!!!!

Just an ordinary day.
It's not so bad.
At least they're all friends.
Most of them.
Except for the ones who don't know I exist.
Sigh.

Yup yup yup exams and stuff. The highlight of this week is gonna be LOTR: Return of Da King on Thursday. I can't wait. The Lord of the Rings is my favorite obsession. It has everything I would want in a fantasy world. I wish I lived in that world. Then I could be an real elf instead of random people walking up to me and telling me I look like an elf. Is it the ears? Anyway, the movies gonna be awesome. The third book was definitely the best, and I have high high hopes for the movie. The first two didn't let me down. Indeed, they went far beyond my expectations. Oh man oh man oh man I'm so excited. I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait ::runs around the room a few times:: ::comes back breathing hard:: Oh man oh man oh man.

Exams. Bah I don't wanna think about em. I got my Calc tomorrow. Not worried. I could prolly get a 10 on the exam and still get an A in the class. Stupidphysics on Wednesday. Sound like its not gonna be to hard, as long as I take the time to look up the words and we actually review in class. And I gotta have a giant game and a giant essay done by Thursday for English. Thats the one I'm worried about the most. How am I gonna do all that? Along with practice and Christmas cookies (dont laugh, they take a reeeaaallly long time to make). Oh well. Dont stress yourself, Ashley. Only a few more days and its all over. Then you can focus on Mr. Liebermann, Mr. Prokofiev, Mr. Inviso, Mr. Baggins, Mr....

I have so much stuff to do and I'm not doing any of it. Good thing exams are next week; good thing I'm doing great in all my classes.

Good thing I just made 50 dollars. Foos.

At least I've trained myself to not turn on AIM. Now theres a trap if I've ever seen one. Once I turn it on, I know I'll be there for hours. So I just don't turn it on that much anymore. Not that I dont like talking to everyone, but I always have more productive things to do.
I even made me a to-do list. A real one. Now for item #1: Calculus homework. Signing off.

NUTSHELL DAY OF ASH
rehearsal
drive
rehearsal
drive
clean
eat
clean
parade
alyssas
blog
zzzzz

Yup Im practicing and doing homework. Yup. Sure am. I am there. Doing homework. Right now. Oh yeah and studying. Taking breaks to practice. I am definitaly doing all that right now. At this very moment. Right now. I am certainly not procrastinating by writing stuff in my blog. Nope. Not me. I don't procrastinate. Ever. Especially right now. Because I am good, and I always go straight to work when I get home. Like right now. I am praciting and studying and doing homework. Cant you see? Im doing it. Now.

Kay bye.

and stuff

THE REST

152) Have you ever misused a word and it sounded absolutely stupid: of course. I hate it.
153) Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: I think there is a reason for everything but its not necessarily pleasant
154) Do fish have feelings: I don't know, thats a question for the fish expert
156) How do you release anger? laugh at it
158) Do you trust others easily: sure. maybe. I dont know.
159) What was your favorite toy as a child? the haunted house that my mom broke when she threw it on the floor
160) What class in school do you think is totally useless? hmm. I dont think anything is TOTALLY useless but the one that is hardest to think of a reason to use is history
161) Do you like sappy love songs? if they are good music
162) Have you ever been on radio or television: no but my name was mentioned on 99.7 because I won design-an-ad doing an ad for them. They said I was cute. :)
163) Do you have a journal: yes
164) Do you use sarcasm a lot?: I spose
165) Have you ever been in another country: yes Canada and the Bahamas. I know thats lame, but oh well.
167) What is/are your nicknames? Ash. Thats all I got.
169) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? ya
170) What are you worried about right now? my physics grade and all the stuff I should be practicing right now and exams in the distance
171) Do you think you are strong: yes
172) What's your least favorite thing in the world: world peace!!!....I mean, war. Actually not war but I dont know what I hate THE MOST. Thats making a big decision Ill tell ya.
173) How many wisdom teeth do you have? none! And Im so glad Ill never have to go through that again.
175) I need: God, music, air
177) I want: to be better at flute
178) I have: a new keyboard, and new speakers for my car! And the best dang piccolo in the land.
179) I wish: Father Murray wasnt leaving
180) I love: rock and roll, put another dime in the jukebox, baby
181) I hate: you. Haha just kidding!
182) I miss: the good ol days
185) I hear: craigs video games
186) I smell: the sweet aroma of air
187) I wonder: why Mr Sprayberry doesnt like me
189) You should: go out with me. Yes, you.

To: The fly who lives in my bathroom.
So, Mr. Fly, we meet again. I knew this day would come. Things aren't going to turn out like last time. Oh no no. I am hundreds of times your size. I can squash you like a bug. Because you are a bug. You aren't getting away this time. Take this! (I throw water onto the fly to try to drown it, but it flies too high and gets away.) Alas! I turn to violence. I didnt want to have to do this. (I punch the wall where its sitting but it gets away again.) Of course. You think you are sooo smart, with your little "wings" and hundreds of eyes. Well I'll tell you what, Mr. Fly. I will not stop hunting you until you die. Oh no. I will never stop hunting you. And when your time comes, Mr. Fly, it will be a long and painful death. I will see to it. I will get you. Someday.

Today I was talking with some people in Calc and I figured out that if you had perfect attendance to school, by the time you hit eighty years old, you will have spent 8% of your days in school. Pretty scary, huh? Not something I want to think about, the amount of time we spand in school.
Man I love that class. Everyone should take it. (Calculus propoganda)

What the hoozer I just finished that quiz and published it last night where is it? I hate you, blogger.

Time for some life lesson discussion by Ash.
Today's lesson is about risk. If you don't take risks, you will never get what you want. You should never, by any means, let fear stop you from doing something, that is, if the things you want are sensible. Fear is a good thing sometimes I will admit, but it should not hinder you from getting the things you want out of life.
So if you know what you want, take it! No one is stopping you (unless someone is). You must take the risk of failure. Try working for what you want. Increase your odds. Then it won't be so risky after all. Reminds me of that song, "I Hope You Dance." (whenever I hear that I think of "Bring Your Own Canvas" lol) She says when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance. And I hope you do dance. Even if youre the worst dancer in the world, you'll still be having the time of your life.

This is from the yellow sheet on my bulletin board. My gym coach gave it to me a while ago to help deal with fear:
Dont worry about the failures or the let downs.
Don't worry about the fear included in risks.
"Fear is right now but REGRET IS FOREVER."
Worry only about the chances you miss when you don't even try.

And I will also admit that sometimes failure hurts. But that shouldn't stop you either. You should grow and learn from your mistakes and do better the next time, if there is a next time. Sometimes there is only one chance and that's sad indeed. I think everyone deserves a second chance. Learn from it the first time and then try again.


End.

Hey guess what I'm stupid.

Oh no no no. This can't be happening. Father Murray can't be leaving. Monica, say it's not true. He's been my spiritual guidance for years and years! He's the reason my church fits me so well! He was the person who made my confirmation special because I had to have surgery! He visited my CCD classrooms in second grade! He's been there for every sacrament, everything. And the other priest has boring sermons ): Don't leave, Father Murray! I love you!

Waaaaah.

By 50 baby. I'll get to the end someday...

102) Are you loyal: sorta
104) When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: off most definitely
106) Do you like your nose: A Stahl nose, to be sure...yes
108) At what age did you find out Santa Claus wasn't real?: 8 I think
109) How many pairs of shoes are in your closet: not sure. Too many.
113) Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides? on my sides. No one ever let me lay on front ever. It hurts like heck when I get up.
114) Dog/cat? cat!
115) Do you lick stamps: no hahaha we have the sticker kind hahaha
117) Have you ridden in a hot air balloon: nope., Sounds fun.
118) Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain: ...both?
119) Favorite TV shows: Family Guy and Futerama and simpsons and some other stuff. I like to stare at the Nasa channel all day too.
120) Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed: prolly
121) Do you prefer a piano or violin: piano
122) Are you a sex addict? yes!....I mean, no.
123) Do you know someone who has cancer? no but I did. Two in fact.
124) Do you like to argue: no
125) Do you hunt: no
127) Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum: i like both. Its hard to decide. Prolly a zoo.
128) Do you have a middle name? indeed I do
129) Are you basically a happy person: yeah
130) Are you tired? yes. I think I have some kind of mental problem with sleep. Like I'll go crazy if I dont have sleep up to my standards. I'll like die or something.
131) Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today? no
132) How many phones do you have in your house including cell phones: 5
133) How long is your hair: long enough to do braids again :)
134) Do you get along with your parents? ummm.....uh.....I guess so. When I'm in a good mood and they are in a good mood.
135) What color of eyes do you prefer: intense anything.
136) First name: Hey! You asked me that already. I'll be a Titusville High teacher and say "I'm not gonna say this twice"
137) Were you named after anyone? everyone whos older than me....lol...actually yeah I was named after some soap opera character. Exciting, ya?
138) Do you wish on stars? yes. Blast those stars.
139) When did you last cry: at Cannon
141) Do you like your handwriting: yes
147) If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself: Its hard to say. Well we'd sure have a lot in common. I think people make friends depending on more than personality and how well they get along, though that helps. But how many classes and how much they have in common and a lot of other things have to do with it too.

AND THATS THAT.

Oh yeah....
I'm gonna be away at Tallahassee all weekend
Good timing, Ashley.

Heres the next 50...this is a loong quizzie-poo

DO YOU
51) COLOR YOUR HAIR: no no no
52) HAVE TATTOOS: no no no
53) HAVE PIERCINGS: on me ears
5) OWN A WEBCAM: no
56) OWN A THONG: ::cracks up::
57) EVER GET OFF THE COMPUTER: umm...yes....
59) HABLA ESPANOL: I guess not
60) QUACK: quack? sure

HAVE YOU/DO YOU/ARE YOU:

61) Stolen anything: not purposely...
62) Smoke: no
69) Depressed: naw
70) Suicidal: no
71) Obsessed with hate: no Im not very hateful
72) Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? ummm, no. I'm not weirdo
73) If you could be anywhere, where would you be?: sleeping at home
74) Can you do anything freakish with your body: I can bend my fingers back really far.
75) What facial feature do you find the most attractive: feet
76) Would you vote for a woman candidate for president: if she was better than the other candidates
77) Would you marry for money: I really dont think so. Thats throwing your life away. Maybe if I was starving or something extreme like that.
78) Have you had braces: yeah and they sucko
79) Do you pluck your eyebrows: ya
81) Could you live without a computer: of course
82) Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list, etc...? yes, AIM
83) If so, how many people are on your lists: not sure. Around 50 I think
84) If you could live in any past time period what would it be? The one with flying unicorns and magic elves
85) Do you drink enough water: enough to live but not enough to be a healthy water drinker
86) Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off: take em off
87) What is your favorite fruit: apple
88) Do you eat wheat bread or white: white
90) Are you photogenic: sometimes
91) Do you dream in color or black and white: I dont remember
92) Are you wearing fingernail polish: no
96) Do you drink alcohol: no
97) What is the best accent: I like a lot of different accents and the ones I like I dont even know what kind they are
98) Who do you want to kiss: Elijah Wood
100) Do you want to live to be 100?: sure

And thats the next 50. yay.

Guess whos in the Young Artist Competition finals?
If you guessed Ashley, then you guessed right.
Aww yeah.

(!!!!!!!!!)

Stealing from other people's blogs...my favorite thing to do...
This one is from Savannah's journal:

name: Ashley
sign: aries
in a relationship now: no
ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend (how many): no
ever done the long distance thing: no
do you have faith in long distance relationships: I won't know until I try
========================================================

HAVE YOU EVER~
1) KISSED YOUR COUSIN: prolly
2) RAN AWAY: no
3) BROKEN SOMEONE'S HEART: I hope not
4) BEEN IN LOVE: naaw
5) CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: no
6) BROKEN A BONE: not technically
7) DRANK ALCOHOL: no
8) LIED: doy doy
9) CRIED IN SCHOOL: no

WHICH IS BETTER:
10) COKE OR PEPSI: pepsi
11) SPRITE OR 7UP: hmm...I dont really like those kinds of drinks. They remind me of being sick.
13) FLOWERS OR CANDY: flowers make me feel warmer but candy is wonderful
15) QUIET OR LOUD: quiet, no doubt
16) BLONDES OR BRUNETTES: dont mattah
17) BITCHY OR SLUTTY: ...er...
19) PANTS OR SHORTS: pants

WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
20) WHAT DO YOU NOTICE FIRST: general apperance I guess

THE LAST TIME:
23) SHOWERED: last night
24) HAD SEX?: in my last life
25) HAD A GREAT TIME WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX: umm today?

WHAT IS:
26) YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARM: used to be Accu....but I'll never see HIM again, now will I?
27) PERSON YOU HATE THE MOST: I hate nobody. I almost wish I could
28) THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY: hmmm. Ooh I had one of those really good bar things in my lunch.

FAVORITES:
29) COLOR: purple or hot pink
30) MOVIE: Lord of Da Rings
32) SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: any music class
33) JUICE: melonade does that count
34) CARS: I really couldnt care less
35) ICE CREAM: hmmm. Prolly the one with the peanut butter cups in it. Or maybe Publix moose tracks.
36) HOLIDAY: Christmas
37) SEASON: fall only for the lovely fall scent in the air
39) MUSIC TO BROOD TO: Adagio for Strings, along with others

DO YOU EVER:
40) SIT BY THE PHONE WAITING FOR A PHONE CALL ALL NIGHT: if you think I would do that youre crazy
41) SAVE INTERNET CONVERSATIONS: not really
42) SAVE EMAILS: only two in my life
43) WISH YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE: very very seldom
44) WISH YOU WERE A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX: only during PMS
45) CRIED BECAUSE OF SOMEONE'S MEAN WORDS: the only persons words that have caused me to cry are my moms

BEST:
46) PERFUME: eau de toilette (toilet water)
47) FRIEND: Mr. Inviso and Danny Glover!
48) KISS: hehehehe I laugh at this question
49) ROMANTIC MEMORY: you really want to know about my personal life, dont you?
50) MOST RECENT ADVICE GIVEN TO YOU: "Do your physics project" from my brain two seconds ago


And I'm gonna stop there for today. I'll finish later.

Watched some home movies. From when I was little and from not too long ago. I was so cute when I was little. I'm gonna cliche and say "What happened?" but seriously I was a really really cute little girl and I wonder what did happen. Oh well at least I don't have that giant space in my teeth like I used to.
Then I watched some a couple years ago, when I was in about 6-7 grade. Those were my gym golden days. I'm prolly gonnna tire you talking about this but I can't help thinking about how cool gymnastics was. You could SEE my muscles. You could visually see them. And I was so bendy, especially my back (which might help to explain why it broke lol). I had such good balance on the beam, and I can't get over my swing of the bars. I was a graceful dancer on the floor, some of you should see them sometime. I get so worked up whenever I rememeber it.
The last things I got before I had to quit were a giant on bars and a backhandspring (backflip) on beam. I was very proud of finally getting both of those. I could do a half on half off on vault and my favorite thing to always do on floor was a front ariel. If I stayed I was about to be in level seven, where we got to pick our own music and make up our own routines.
It was about to get much harder and much scarier, though. I think I might've quit soon anyway because I just didn't take well to all the fear involved. It's very hard to let go of the bars for a dismount when you know very well that if you do it one inch wrong you can smack yourself in the face. Or that if your feet don't land exatly perfect on the four inch beam after the backflip that you might split the beam (a painful experiance, I've done it before). It's very very scary, and I don't suppose anyone would understand unless it happened to them. Maybe this whole post is for gymnasts only anyway. Oh well, like I said, this is mainly for me.

My life has changed drastically since then. I've found many wonderful friends (the annual birthday sleepover of seventh grade only had two friends and eigth grade had a group of completely different people) and devoted my life to God, music, academic studies, and fun. Yes thats the order too. At least I like to think so.

Ya know sometimes I wish I was a freshman again. I didn't know anybody, so everybody was my friend. Especially the band people. No one was talking about other people, I didn't have to worry about who liked my because no one knew me. And I was so sweet and innocent. Don't correct me on this, brain, I may have not been sweet, but I was sure innocent. It just seemed like I didn't worry so dang much. I prolly did though. I look back on things and label them as "good" or "bad" and my freshman year was "good." There's more pressure now, really. People expect more of you, and you expect more of yourself. It was the magical year when everything was new, and I loved that. So freshman, enjoy this while you have it. Because it won't be like this...ever again.

Maybe just my freshman year individually was the start of all things new. It was, in a sense. I met all my current friends, I made allstate for the first time, I got a crash course in love life (hehe), I had my first of "pretty dang hard" classes, and I was exposed to marching band for the first time. All this in one year, and it was all great fun. I really didn't care so much about stupid things that I care about now. Because I didn't have to. "With great power comes great responsibility" theres a nice quote from Spiderman.

And what now? Fretting about physics projects, practicing like mad to learn everything I need to know for competitions and auditions, and worrying about who likes me and who doesn't. Relax, Ashley. It's all gonna be okay. You'll see.

Holy crope that was even longer.

Come and be light for our eyes
Be the air we breathe
Be the voice we speak

Come be the song we sing
Be the path we seek

I lurve it.

But I hate physics projects.

Erin where are you? :(

Jeez louise no ones home and/or no one wants to do anything. Like I really tried though. I hate the phone so much that I don't call people to see if theyre doing anything and I just assume that if theyre not online that theyre not available. And most of the time its true.
Ugh. To make matters worse, my parents are here with my grandparents having yet another wonderful football party. And every time I walk in they make another degrading comment about how I hate football. The best part is that the TV is being used so I can't catch a movie. What a good night this is.

I'm not feelin the love.

Maybe I'll go pluck my eyebrows or make a giant rubber band ball or jump up and down until I hurt myself.

The tears I might have shed for your dark fate
Grow cold,
and turn to tears of HATE

then, minutes later

Pitiful creature of darkness
What kind of life have you known?
God give me courage to show you
You are not alone

-Phantom of the Opera

Yup. Christmatized the house, went shoppin, researched physics articles, ate and now practice. I'm so cool. Call me if ya want to maybe I can get a video with someone or somethin. Erin where are you?

Today (well yesterday at this hour) was a very very very very very very very good day. And I'm not gonna tell you what I did because I'm kind and loving hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. It was an "OH YEAH!!!!" kind of day.

Do you hear that? I'm kind and loving. Never mean. Only kind and loving. No matter what happens. No matter how much I want to hate. I'm kind and loving. No matter what. No matter how much I want to stomp on the feet or break the back or tear the eyes or burn the flesh. Only kindness and love here. Because that's my role. The kind and loving one. Even if I want to destroy someone from the inside out. Or...okay, my mind is getting to be too much right now. I'm kind and loving. And that's that.

KINDNESS AND LOVE.

(I'm sorry for that)

So I was practicing today and I was playing this one etude. Whenever I work on etudes I play through them one last time at the end and if I get any notes wrong I go back and play it again until I get all the notes. I was playing the run through of it and I missed the last note. It's a pretty long etude and I thought in my mind "Good job, B. You ruined it for all of us." And an image came into my mind of elementary and middle school days when one person in a class would act up and the teacher would punish the whole class and say "You ruined it for all of us." I'm so dumb.

Dude DDR was a smash hit with the family. Everyone in the second and third generation played it at least once and most of them loved it. lol They thought me and Craig were really good. A great Thanksgiving. Gotta love it.

Do you think when we get older and we tell our kids that we said stuff like "Owned," "Shizzle my mnizzle," and "Your mom" that they'll laugh at us?

I'll try to go online tomorrow when I wake up, prehz.

::Happy and stuff::

Answering three group questions
Sprayberry: "Can you explain why you got those answers?"
short pause
Me: "The forces-"
Sprayberry: "I guess they must not know" (crosses answers off the board)
Me: "But I was just about to-"
Sprayberry: "Next group!"
Me: "But....eh....ah....ee..."

As much as I don't like this kind of...I don't even know what it is...disrespect? (though that doesn't sound right), I find it very very funny. Amuse yourself when you can, I say.

Man some mad ddr last night. I can't wait till Christmas break when I can play it all day and all night. Along with practicing of course. Dude that reminds me of the pactice schedule we had to turn in a while ago. Most days I put practice from 12:00 AM-11:59 PM. Hahaha. I think on Friday I put only until 6:00 PM so I could go out. lol I'm so dumb.

Soooo, yeah. Thanksgiving and stuff. I'm thankful for my parents and my family. Among other things. I remember one time when I was younger, me and and my bro and my cousin were saying grace before a meal and we tried to list everything that we were thankful for. Everything. And we ended up saying things like "My knuckles...this chair....my dad's beer..." and it was funny. Oh the innocence of the old days.

Katie is taller than me! What a disgrace.
I really need to do my physics project. It's gonna suck.

Does anyone actually read this? Does anyone actually care about the stupid little things I write about my life in here? Well I guess it doesn't matter. It's mostly for myself anyway.

Va voir dehors si j'y suis.
Go jump in a lake.

Sooooo.....yeah.
I got a 68 on my latest physics test. And he didn't give me or Steven a curve because our presentation was "just plain bad." Thank you, Sprayberry, for ruining my potentially good day and my GPA. ::mumble grumble malice:: But thats not all. Oh no. Lets see. Nobody in my class got an A. Even if they DID get a curve. In fact, only one person total out of both the classes got an A. (I might just be making this up) Tell me thats not crazy? I mean, come on. I studied for this. And I studied hard. And I'm sure everyone else did too. It was plainly too hard of a test.
Last time I did this bad (and the two scores are very close) there was a 30 point curve. No such luck this time. I cant believe him. What a jork.

I prolly sound just like any other stupid girl right now, complaining about the teacher and trying to put the blame of bad grade on someone else. But I am mad about that grade.

In other news, my day was okay. I'm starting to sound pretty good on flute. I guess. I can almost play Muczynski 3 up to tempo. Without being obnoxious. Speed is my thing. I may not be the most musical, I may not be the most in tune or the have the best control or the best sound, but man I can play fast. At least I can rest assured about that.

Today at lunch a bird attacked our table and pooped on everyone. Good job, bird. Now we know about the birds and the bees. (Har har!!!)

Sooo....yeah. I'll get back to ya when I have something interesting to say.

hello

Cool! From Katies site:

10 bands you've been listening a lot to lately:
1) The Chieftains
2) THS Concert band
3) Simon and Garfunkel (is that considered a band?)
4) Vanessa Carleton (I know shes not a band but youll just have to live with it)
5) Smash Mouth
6) Bond
7) The Berlin Philharmonic
8) The crazy bands on 98.1
9) Other radio bands, especially on 105.1
10) songs stuck in my head

09 things you look forward to:
1) Craig coming home and DDR
2) Off next week
3) Getting allcounty music
4) third block (full orch days)
5) fourth block
6) not sucking on flute
7) being cool (if it ever happens)
8) ummm...getting mail
9) I know I know Im very nearsighted

8 things you like to wear:
1) clothes
2) I think that sums it all up
3) oh no I like to wear jewelry too
4) SOMBREROS
5) giant ugly sunglasses
6) trees growing out of my head
7) powerpuff girls pins
8) my monster slippers. So comfy.

07 things that annoy you:
1) Stupid people and jorks
2) When I dont make allstate
3) When they dont pay attention to the girls bathroom in the band hallway. arg.
4) when people talk to me when Im trying to do my work. Or practice.
5) when people randomly hate me
6) when people dont think before they say things and then they kick themselves for saying the wrong thing. This also applies to me.
7) When bad things happen and theres nothing you can do about it

//06 things you say most days:
1) [insert name here]'s dumb
2) I'm dumb
3) YAY!!
4) COOL!!!
5) who are you talking about?
6) whats going on?
7) ::bursts out laughing::

05 things you do everyday:
1) breathe
2) wish I didnt have to get out of bed
3) pray
4) brush my hair
5) think up something stupid to say

04 people you want to spend more time with:
1) my friends, the norm. Never can get quite anough time with them.
2) my mommy even though I never show it
3) myself
4) Josh and Asher (ya they come in a pair)
And more

03 movies you could watch over and over again:
1) Lord of the Rings: Fellowship
2) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
3) Moulin Rouge
4) The Pirates of the Carribbean
5) The Lion King
Oh well there was only supposed to be three but these are my favo movie ever.

02 of your favorite songs at the moment:
1) "Ordinary Day" Vanessa Carleton
2) "Peer Gynt Suite no 1" Grieg
Those are just two at the moment.

01 person you could spend the rest of your life with:
1) Elijah Wood. Haha just kidding. I suppose I should say myself or something. Whatever.

He keeps proving me right...I wonder if I'll ever get over of this....

I was thinking about making a list of guys I know who aren't jerks (jorks) (I think there are more jerks than non jerks out there) but I think it would cause more trouble than its worth. So I'm not gonna. I'm only gonna say that if you are a jork, then you suck. And Josh you aren't a jork.

You guys I just made the best poem ever (Evil laugh)

www.poetswhoknowit.blogspot.com

Well, not much going on right now. Livin my life as best as I can. That sounds like a song title. Or maybe just As Best as I Can. Or maybe The Best I Can. Anyway, I owned the calculus test once again. Full points. Why does the stupidest subject, math, come easy to me? I don't like math. It's not creative or expressive. There's nothing to it. Just follow the rules. I hope I did okay on the physics test, though I know I missed a few for sure. How the heck were we supposed to know the speed of radio waves? And the shadows confused me.

Mr Sprayberry, my physics teacher, has some weird grudge against me. Yes, I ask a lot of questions, but you would think a teacher would like that. It means I want to learn. I just noticed it now, maybe he just realized he hates me. But every time I say something, he either snaps at me in reply or shakes his head in disgust as if I just said a swear word. Its actually kinda funny. I have a tendancy to laugh at people who are blatantly (sp) mean to me. But I don't know what his problem is with me. I never did anything to him. In fact, I had liked him (sorry guys but its true) until he started pulling all this crope. Oh well. The class ends soon.

Last night was the Jackson spaghetti dinner. It just brought back memories of how stupid and idiotic and immature middle schoolers act and it makes me soo glad I'm in high school now. Looking back I realize how ignorant I was back then. I thought I was hot stuff, just like some middle schoolers think now. But experience is half the battle, and I dont know if its possible for even the best middle school player to equal a quality high school player.
Every year I think I'm good and then I'll look back and realize how much I had to learn and how much I've grown. Each year makes a tremendous difference. A tremendous difference. Next year I'm going to look back and realize how bad I was this year. It's all relative.

In other news, I'm going to a concert tonight at Stetson. Should be some good clean fun.

Signing off.
Ash

Theres only one thing I've got to say:
I'm glad I'm not in middle school anymore.

There was a friendly but naive king
who wed a very nasty queen
The king was loved, but
the queen was feared

Till one day, strolling in his court,
an arrow pierced the kind king's heart
he lost his life and
his lady love

Some people have weak minds. Some people have strong minds. I have no mind.

My plea: "Don't leave me!"

Yup. I'm here.

Do you ever think about the people who used to be so prominent in your life but you've practically forgotten about now? I do. Especially when I ride around PSJ, because most of the important people in my younger days lived right here. I keep pictures on my mirror of people who used to be very dear to me and I don't want to forget. Included are my best friends from Elementary and Middle School, Chris G and Crystal K. Haven't talked to either of them for years. Last I heard, Chris went off to homeschool, and Crystal switched to her church's school in eigth grade. Oh the memories I had with them. Chris was supposidly my "first boyfriend" lol we were so dumb back then. Another picture is of my best friend from New York, Alyssa C. She lived about three houses down and I walked to her house and we played just about every day. We would've been very very best friends had I stayed there. But I haven't heard form her since I last visited there. Another picture is of my best friend from gymnastics, Shannon M. Haven't talked to her for about a year, though I make a point to visit the gym (maybe for reminiscience) every so often. Man those were the days. I was so fit, I could do anything. I have pictures of me at competitions, and videos, and its hard to believe that they are of me. I'm like a whole different person now. And the whole gym was friends, we all knew each other. It was like a second life. A second family. I remember many a birthday party I had or would go to and people would invite "school friends" and "gym friends." Rarely they met besides then. The last picture I have is of Eric from Cannon. I can't forget him. What a wonderful lad he was. Someday we'll meet in the future, whether it's at college (we're both planning on music at FSU) or another time.
I wonder about other people too. Mrs. Aymond, my old flute teacher. I loved her so much. What happened to her? Does she still teach? What happened to her back? Though I do commend her much as a person, I do not regret switching teachers to Mrs. Clew. Not by a long shot. Yes, she was a wonderful person, but man she did not know what she was talking about when it came to flute. How could she? She never got the training. I'm still trying to crawl out of the hole of bad flute technique that she taught me. ("Tighten your embuosure. Maybe that will help.")
Those are just a few of examples of people I think about. Just a small slice of my past. Often I think of calling these people, finding out what theyre doing now. But I wonder: do they still live there? Would they remember me if I called? How would they react? Why do I hate the phone so much? And so I might never find out. Oh well. Such is life.
And so I'm left with pictures to remember, sometimes not even that. Sometimes just plain bare memory that will soon slip away. And so I wonder: will I remember all of you? Will I keep in touch and find out how things are going? Will I care? Will you remember me if I call? What relationships will develop in the future with the people I now love more than anything? Will we still be friends in five years? I know that it is so easy to lose touch. I make friends in classes every year, and we lose touch as soon as the class ends. Not even a wave in the hallway or a friendly "hi" when we pass. How does that happen, and why?
Can only a certain amount of people be in your life at one time? Can you only handle a certain amount of friendship and then youre overloaded? I know it seems sensible to say yes. Certainly, you only have valuable little time and you have to choose carefully who you spend it with. Sometimes the choice is made for you, sometimes its not. But I tend to think differently. You can be friends with someone even if you don't spend time with them. As the cliche goes (though its usually used for a different reason), its the thought that counts. And its true. I want to be friends with the world.

So what I'm really trying to say is use your time wisely and make sure you appreciate the people you now love, because someday (even though you may say it will never be so) they might not be there in your life anymore. Thats the reason I'm such a picture freak. I'm afraid of forgetting people, afraid of forgetting events. I want to remember. Remember everything.

Holy crope that was long. But pleasing.

My mom is the best mom in the world. I love you, mom. And I'm serious.

Anyone who doesn't love me sucks!

I read this today when I was reading stuff to avoid doing my homework, and I think it's pretty funny:

Midnight Oil
Cut if you will, with Sleep's dull knife
Each day to half its length, my friend-
The years that Time takes off my life,
He'll take from off the other end!
-Edna St. Vincent Millay

Now I really need to do some homework. Really this time.

I made all-county. Second chair. If anyone cares. Besides me.

And I said I was happy most of the time, I'm not lying!
Yeah I got a whole bunch of new CDs and since I'm a maniac I'll list them all:

-Bond (1st)
-Mozart flute Concerto in G, Concerto for flute and harp, and Clarinet Concerto (Emmanuel PAHUD!)
-Vanessa Carlton
-Grieg (Peer Gynt, Holberg Suite)
-Sibelius (Finlandia, Tapiola, Valse Triste, more)
-Charlotte Church, best of (madatory for discount)
-Elgar cello concerto and Sea Pictures (Jacqueline du Pre)
-I ordered Norah Jones but I mustve put the number in wrong so I got Glenn Miller. Norah Jones vs. Glenn Miller? Norah Jones all the way?

New CDs make me very very very happy. As well as new pictures, new magazines, and letters.

Tonight I'm going to sit at home!! Yay! And maybe sleep! Yay!

I have some serious jealousy problems.

Oh man I just wrote a big long post and then accidentaly deleted it. I'll try to write it again as best as I can. But not delete it this time.

Things have been going okay for the most part. I'm happy most of the time. I guess.

Sometimes I get really sad and I don't know why. Actually thats a lie, I usually do know why. What I don't know is why I let things get to me so much. I mean, it's not my whole life. For example, today I got really sad when Alyssa made all-state. I was very happy for her, of course, I'm always happy for my friends when they do well, but I was still very sad for myself. And I kept asking myself "Why are you so sad about this?" and I realized I didn't know why. Maybe it has to do with the fact that playing the flute is basically my whole life. It's the only thing I have a real true passion for and just about the only useful and skilled thing I really love to do. When I fail, of course it's gonna hurt me. But why don't good things bring me up? I tell myself stuff like "You just owned the Calculus test" or "Your friends love you" but it doesn't help. People, I've discovered, are the only way to make me feel better. People are the key to happiness.

It's not just flute though. I get sad about other things. Sometimes things that I prolly shouldn't be sad about. Maybe I'm only normal for having feelings. But feelings hurt sometimes. Sometimes it seems like the only feelings we are allowed to have are good ones. When they are bad, it's like invading your space. Like "why are you here? Go away!" like they are invaders. But the thing is, bad feelings are not invaders in your life. They are a part of your life. A necessary part. Theres so much bad that could happen in this sheltered little world of ours, and I'm afraid of what will happen in the not-sheltered world. Yes, we need the bad along with the good or else we would all go crazy come the real world.

I've noticed that I use things until they cannot be used anymore. For a small example, my backpack. I used it for nine years until it could be used no more. I take things to the limit. Usually when I'm thinking about joining a club, I decide in the beginning whether I'm gonna be in it for the long run or not. And I usually don't join if I'm not gonna see it through. Because winners never quit. And stuff.

Another thing I've noticed is that I tend to aviod things that I don't want to deal with. Problems. Just avoid them and hope they go away. Don't like that I email I just recieved and don't like the looks of? Ignore it. Don't want to deal with that person at the moment? Avoid being by em. Don't want to deal with that tough Calc problem? Skip it altogether. And avoiding things doesn't make them any better usually. I need to learn how to be a problem solver instead of a problem avoider.

Tonight was really fun. I went to see the new Russel Crowe movie with Katie, Rebecca, Erin, and Will. It was great fun except when Katie and Erin talk throughout the whole movie and make the scary guy next to me mad.
"You can irrigate my retained water"
-Katie
A lot of funny stuff was said and I told myself to remember it so I could write it all in here but I forgot it all. Oh well.

I ran into the wall on my way to this room. Now my hip hurts. Ouch.

So where was I all day today? Because no one cares? Hahaha, you'll never know...

"Ain't nothin wrong with that!"

Time for Over-Safe public service announcement.

When I was riding my bike, a stupid person yelled to me "nice helmet." (I gave em a thumbs up). So I wear a bright pink helemt. It's the only one I have. So what. Helemts are like seat belts. They save lives, and it's just plain stupid not to use them. Wear your helmets, kids. Especially if you are under 16. Cuz then its the law....and stuff.

I'm a sucker for massages, I'll never say no to a massage....mmm....brings back memories of Cannon....

N/E wayz, like what R U guyz doin 2morrow? I'm just chillin' w/the gals. Maybe go to the allcounty thing. I dunno. I got an ortho app at 2:00. Whatevah.
C-Ya
Ash

Oh man I'm a bad ghetto writer. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong time period. Especially as far as music goes. For example at homecoming. Yes, pop/rap/hip-hop/whatever stuff has a good beat you can dance to, but did the DJ really have to play that the WHOLE TIME? I mean, come on, I usually dont even listen to that stuff. Actually it's just about the only thing I don't listen to. That's prolly a lie.

What to do tonight? That is the question.

More Things I have trouble doing
Saying no
Making tough or not so tough decisions
Sounding sensible
Staying mad at people
Walking without my toes cracking
Not laughing when I hit trouble (Its my defense mechanism)
Drinking the daily recommended amount of water per day (Eight glasses is a crazy amount if you ask me)

Sometimes help is found where you least expect it. Today was a great day.

Things I have trouble doing:
Saying thank you
Concentrating during physics
Crying
Finishing a whole meal
Telling people what I think

more later

Physics book, page 335:
"Some light sources are specified in candela, cd, or candle power. A candela is not a measure of luminous flux, but of luminous intensity. The luminous intensity of a point source is the luminous flux that falls on one square meter of a sphere one meter in radius. Thus luminous intensity is luminous flux divided by 4(pi). A bulb with 1750 lm flux has an intensity (1750 lm)/4(pi) = 139 cd. A flashlight bulb labeled 1.5 cd emits a flux of 4(pi) (1.5 cd) = 19 lm."

Yes.

So yeah. There's a "FOOTBALL PARTY" here tonight, and I need to get out of the place. Crazy insane asylum. Someone save me from the football party!

Test grades this week: 110, 95, 93
Oh yeah.

I REALLY wish my mom would stop following me around the house.
In a big way.

All good things come to an end. The people you love eventually leave. Life changes. The thing to remember is not to take things for granted. If you do, you'll be sad when things leave. But if you don't tak things for granted, you'll just be happy that you once had them.

Sometimes I feel so hopeless. But I gotta have faith. You always gotta have faith.

I'll be here.

YAY A TRUE HEROINE AND STUFF

You are Trinity, from "The Matrix."
Strong, beautiful- you epitomize the ultimate
heroine.


What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well shoot:


Cb major - life is full of complecations,
commitments and organisation. You love to make
sure everything is just perfect, but sometimes
this can cause you to fall over your own feet.
A slightly unsociable key: why Cb major when
you could be the identical Bmajor? It has less
accidentals.


what key signature are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

::Walking to the fridge to get some milk::
Me: "I remember when a gallon of milk was the heaviest thing in the world"
Dad: "Whats the heaviest thing in the world now?"
Me: "A bulldozer. A circus of elephants. The Sears Tower. Cranes are pretty heavy too."

I was GONNA write out the flute part in Saint-Saens Organ Symphony finale, but it turns out that Printmusic is no longer on my computer, for some unknown reason. Guess I'm gonna have to suck on it until I find a means to write it out on. Crazy part. Why couldnt they just put it on two different pieces of paper. Im serious though. Its totally illegible. Too many leger lines. Hey heres an idea. Ill go practice it. Good idea ashley.

LOL Yesterday when my mom found out that I didnt make allstate she told me if she was me she would become an alcoholic. I was like "For not making allstate?!? Gimme a break!" and she was like "For everything youve gone through this past week" and I laughed at her.

No that doesnt even work.

Unless it's "Hey dont steal my soul, buddy!"

"Soul" and "buddy" should never be in the same sentence together

Congrats to Katie, Ben, Alex, Will, Asher, Rebecca, and Ellen! Great job guys!
And to Chris, my allstate soul buddy, I'm sorry man, but youre not the only one...

As for me, I'm not dissipointed (sp). I wanted to make allstate, yes, but I didnt and there's nothing to do to change it. It just didn't happen this year. I still have many other ways to prove myself and there's always next year... (well not always but this year there's a next year)


Good things that happened today
-Played the duet with Alyssa and sounded great
-Festival rehab and concert music
-New seating arrangement in 1st-sit by your friends for once!
-Another 10 quiz in calc
-Hang out in third, watching other marching bands and discussing the reasons we are better than anyone else. And making fun of other bands.
-Got 5 sentences done in the amount of time it usually takes to get one done in 4th. Dont ask me how that happened.
-Listened to my solo CDs on the way home. They so good (:
-Went to poem blog. Thanks you guys (: I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
-Have time to do stuff. No BYO or other time consuming crope
-Marching band is almost completely over!!!

Couldnt go to sleep last night till 12:30, giving me 5 and a half hours of sleep. Yay! Maybe eating those gummi worms and ice cream and drinking a can of caffine-blasted soda right before going to bed wasnt such a good idea...(yeah Im healthy)...

Tarpin Springs=marching madness!!

"I don't believe I said it was anarchy time"
-Mr. Sprayberry

Oh yeah I need to post something today. Hmm. Well, for one thing, I'm doing fine, if anyone cares. I'm not sad anymore. Tomorrow is the big day, when we all find out about allstate. I'm so scared! I almost don't want to find out. It's so much easier to live by the past then to face the present. Meaning I've made allstate before and I want it to stay that way. But in the long run, who really cares if I make allstate or not. What a dumb question. I care. Thats all that matters.

I'm gonna go practice.

Concert music ahoy!!

Oh yeah and remind me to bring a camera tomorrow to see Schwindt without facial hair.

Forgive and forget?

My Day:
very bad
bad
okay
good
pretty good
really good
really really good
the best life can get
really really good
really good
pretty good
good
okay
bad
very bad

We got straight superiors. And stuff.

At least now I know whats going on. Sort of.

God is good.
But I wish my mom would stop following me around the house. Its getting pretty annoying.

Have a great festival. Wish us luck. And stuff.

Shut up brain, I'm sad.

I wouldve cried 5 times today if I wasnt a robot.
Good thing I have no emotions.

Rebecca- Thank you
Asher- Thank you
Craig- Thank you
Josh- Thank you

Here's some advice, kiddies: When something is bothering you, TELL SOMEONE. Even if they cant help you with your problem, it will make you feel better. Why I thought bottling everything up was gonna help things is beyond me.

Today when I was at Jackson, I was in the best mood I've been in for a while. I was dancing around, being hyper and happy....like before. I've missed that mood for a while. I don't know what happened. But whatever happened is gone now. And I hope it never comes again.

To future Ashley (and blog readers who care. which means no one): Sometimes things like that happen, with no explination. Like your tone suddenly gets really bad or you suddenly get really depressed. And it can be, and will be, very bad. Don't despair! Your tone will get better in a few days, and someday, no matter how much it feels like you won't, you will be happy again. All these things need are time and a little bit of effort. But mostly time.
Good things can happen too, without explanation. You don't notice those things. They feel more normal, somehow.

And

Okay, life, its time to stop pulling these little tricks. I dont like you anymore.

Tell me that theres nothing to be worried about.

With a push here and a shove there, everything should turn out okay. It's better already. And I think I may have identified a little of what was going on in me.

Be not afraid.
I go before you always
Come, follow me
and I will give you rest.

Why can't I just be happy? Why do I, even though I live in a world full of loving and supportive people, find myself utterly alone in a world with no love? Why is there so much I do not know? Why am I losing my God? Why have I stopped trying to do things I used to love to do? Why do I not care anymore? Why do I find no enjoyment in anything anymore? What happened to the carefree joy I used to have? Did it go into the work of marching band, the stress of school, or the loss of sleep? Where did it go? Why do I feel like this? Why?

Every sentence in this post is a question?

Today is homecoming dance day! Mrs. Kelly is my hero.
I'm ready to rock. And stuff.

You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.

"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached
zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He
emerged from his own ashes, to be forever
immortal."

Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl
(Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum
(Egyptian).
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life,
the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.

As a member of Form 0, you are a determined
individual. You tend to keep your sense of
optomism, even through tough times and have a
positive outlook on most situations. You have
a way of looking at going through life as a
journey that you can constantly learn from.
Phoenixes are the best friends to have because
they cheer people up easily.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

This is a fun quiz. I dont entirely get the picture that goes with the results, though...

You would give a vampire a good fight. Obviously
you are not a vampire hunter, but you are
definitely not an easy victim. You have a 50%
chance of defeating a vampire.

"


Can you survive an attack by a vampire?
brought to you by Quizilla

Physics textbook, page 222:
"When you throw a ball into the air, you do work on it. As it leaves your hand, it has kinetic energy. As the ball rises, its speed is reduced because of the downward force of the earth's gravity. The ball moves up, but the force is down, so the work on the ball is negative, and the kinetic energy on the ball becomes smaller."
Guess who doesnt care?
Guess who needs more sleep because she took 3 times to read this and understand?
Mee!

Okay, yeah, me, I'm what this blog is all about. And stuff. Busy week, busy weekend. I hope I have time to get some sleep somewhere in here. Its gonna be tough. Im pretty tired right now. I'm glad theres no marching band tonight. I would die. Not really. But I would be in a state of fatigue. Is that possible? A state of fatigue?

Anyway, I think I'll take it easy tonight. Listen to some Mozart. Maybe watch the tv. Ya know whats sad? There is no earthly reason why I have a television in my room. I cant remember the last time I turned my tv on. The remote is very very dusty. It mustve been at least a couple months since I last tuned it on. At least. I never watch tv anymore. Never have time. Not that I'm complaining. I like tv as muh as the next guy, but I dont like to waste my life away watching an extraordinary amount. I have better things to do. Like waste my life away on the computer. And waste my life away attempting to be good on flute. And waste my life away trying to make the grade.

I have a really good life, you know that? I could be starving or in bad health, I could be in a different, not-so-wealthy country where opportunity is less, I could have a bad home life with no love, I could have an acidic social life, I could have bad grades and so many other problems. But I don't. I'm lucky. Very lucky. Sometimes I think I forget to step back and look at the big picture. I'm a lucky person, that me.
As much as I complain about things, I usually have the good end of the deal. No matter how bad off you are, there's always someone who's worse. And thats the truth.

Oh man oh man.
I feel great. Oh, I feel so great.
Huh.

just kidding

I wish I wish I had some sleep. If only...
I have a new buddy icon. Its a negative chasing an AIM guy under a radical and it says "Imaginary buddy." Im cool.

Holloween horror nights is crazy. People jump out at you from every which way and shake chainsaws at you and throw stuff in your direction. And stuff that you think is part of the park starts moving, like trees and walls and rocks. They come and attack you! But they never touch you and its all pretend. I had to keep telling myself that. But it sure feels real.
"You're scared. That means youre having fun."
-Richard

Well, time to go clean and do homework and practce. The regulars. What an end to what a weekend.

OK get this. I really really want to practice right now. Ive been sucking lately and stuff. Plus no ones home and I could practice in the sitting/do nothing room, which is the best place in the house to practice. So I get my flute out and play a few notes. Then I get into technical excercises and the cut on my finger, which happens to rest right on a vital key, decides to open again. It hurts me when I play plus its pussin and stuff and thats no good to get on my flute. So I put a band-aid on it, with some vain hope that I might be able to play with a bandaid on the tip of my finger with an open holed key. No luck. I want to not suck and stuff and Ive hardly practiced all weekend. And allcountys coming up. People are expecting a lot out of me this year, myself included. But nothing gonna happen if I SUCK. My tone used to be beautiful and vibrant but now it sounds like Im stuggling just to get notes out. Which I am. What happened?

Hey get this too. Today I drove an hour to orlando to take a picture with my orchestra. The picture took about 5 minutes. Then I drove an hour home.
Maybe I should take a nap.

My new email address is ctkitty9@earthlink.net.
Its the same as my old one except its not msn, its earthlink.
Now you know.

Hours of sleep night before ACT: 5
Hours of sleep night before SAT: 6

Not in the mood right now.

A trapeziod is just a triangle with its head cut off.

Exams. To bah with them. Espacially physics. Halfway over! Woo! I'm looking forward to lots of things, and one of them is the end of physics.
One of them is the concert.
One of them is homecoming.
One of the is the end of marching band.
One of them is...winter break?

Ok well see ya.

Shoot I have a mouth zit.
But I had a good hair day.
So it all evens out.

Katie's blog:
www.thestupidpagethatneverworks.blogspot.com

Haha my new name is funny. And stuff.

So....yeah. Not much upstairs right now. Man I cant type. Ah well, Thats what bloggers are for. Go read the poem I wrote, it's really bad. But I had to write it. It's moderatly not really funny.

What the heck is our exam in English gonna be?
19 more days till homecoming
Too many more days till marching band ends.
Too many more days till physics ends.
Not enough days until all-county auditions. (bleh)
Too many days until the next weekend.

Le temps passe tres vite, et la jeunesse n'a qu'un temps.
Time passes very quickly, and you're only young once.
SO DONT WASTE IT, PEOPLE! GO OUT AND HAVE FUN!!

Fin

I'm posting this to get my new name to work hopefully

Ahh. I remember a time when I used to rest a lot on the weekend and recover all the lost sleep from the preceeding week. Those were the good old days. Not really. Now I sleep less on the weekend. Strange.

I've been busy busy busy busy bee. Or a busy human. That too. Things, for the most part, are going well. I guess. I just wish I got more sleep sometimes. It's not fun walking around like a zombie all the time, ya know? Next weekend is gonna be just as bad. Got SAT in the morning of Sat, church in the mornin of Sun. Ah well. It'll all be over soon. Stupid marching band. Hey people who read this blog, everyone heard our idea? Ya know how Mr. Schwindt has been kinda down lately? We want to do something to cheer him up. Remember when Schwindt gave all the section leaders little notes with good stuff about them written on em? Well, we want to do the same thing to him. Everyone write little notes with good stuff about Mr. Schwindt on it, and give them to me, Rebecca, Erin, Alyssa, or one of the crew, and we're gonna put them in a jar or something so every time he feels sad he can just pull one out and read it. And don't put your name on it either. I think it's a swell idea. And it made feel good just planning it. I like making people feel good, it makes me feel good. :) So get to it. Write, write write! We're somehow gonna get the whole band in on it.

In other news, my stomach don't like me no more.

Oh man oh man. I bombed the physics test today. I actually studied for it too. I sat down for an hour Sunday night and went over everything. I even made a little fake test for myself. But it was nothing like I thought it was gonna be. I mean, the last test was mostly multiple choice, but this one was all free response and problems to work out. Only one multiple choice, I believe. And I forgot what all the equations were used for so I panicked (sp?) and got all flustered and couldn't concentrate. It reminded me of the biology exam last year when I couldn't concentrate because I was so mad that there was stuff on the exam that he didn't teach us about. Or mention. Ever. So anyway, this is the first test I've ever failed. Ever. I mean, I know I failed this one. And it makes me sad. I'm getting a 93 in calculus! An A in AP English! Confounded physics. WHYIAUGHTA. I've concluded that I shouldn't be in honors physics. NOT AT ALL. Eh. So much for being thirteenth.

Everything is sucking. I'm having a bad couple days with flute (aka I'm sucking again). When you sound bad when you practice, it makes you not want to practice anymore. But you have to because you won't sound better if you don't practice. So it's painful. I think my sucking may have to do with the amount of sleep I got this weekend, which was not much. Not much at all. I think I got a grand total of around 9 hours. That means I go to bed early tonight. Just like last night.

Well at least I don't have BSYO anymore. And I don't have any homework in physics because of the test and I don't have any English homework (which I should teoretically never have but somehow it never happens that way) and I did my calc homework already and I practiced in third block today, so I'm free to write in my bloggey and check up on other blogs.
Plus I only need two more tens to be on the perfect ten list. There's only three more quizzes left...I can do it!
Plus I think it's fish tonight. Yay.

In other news, I gots an FYAO concert on Sunday this weekend. Me and Emily and Alyssa G are the three flutes in Chamber Symphony and theres no one else I know in all five orchestras. It's weird. We're playing Hyden through the ages: the last two movements of Symphony #8, The Tempest (or something like that)...which happens to have a leading flute part...which only I am playing...and the first movement of Concertant (written later in his career) for quartet of violin, cello, oboe and bassoon and orchestra. It's gonna be great, but we're not gonna be the featured orchestra. I'm excited to see what the big guys are playing though. Prolly somethin cool.
The next concert, though, is gonna be crazy. It's us and Sinfonia (the cute little group with elementary students) and you can imagine who people will be going to see. Next concert we'll play lotsa cool stuff. Like poet and peasant. I can't wait!

Man I've been typing for a long time. But it's not time for dinner yet. My mom sure is getting home late today. No Jackson tomorrow! Woo!

I'm a happy Ashley due to some certain people. You know who you are.

I'm here and I'm here. Good jorb lol.

Mrs Orletsky told us a funny story. There was this really shy girl in one of her classes and she never raised her hand in class to answer. So one day she got bold and raised her hand to answer. She said "Dont yell at me if I get this wrong." Mrs Orletsky said okay. And so she answered and got it right and Mrs Orletsky yelled at her.

Whats up with me, though? Ive had a pretty tough week. I hate physics, but I lurve my other classes. I need to practice more. My mom thinks Im slacking on practicing because of my social life, which is kinda true, as much as I dont want it to be. But its not like I never practice anymore. I feel like Im making sacrifices whatever I do. Im sacrificing study time if I clean the house, social time if I sleep, practicing time if I go out. I dont know. Nothing ever seems to work out right. Ah well.
I get mad sometimes with people. People I hang out with constantly talk bad about other people. It just irks me sometimes. The other day at lunch people were throwing stuff in Beth's hair and being mean to her. Every time I see something like that, a little voice in my head says it mean and I should stop them doing it. But I never do. But Im saying now that I, from here on, disapprove of being mean to beth. Just because she blind doesnt mean shes not a person with feelings and doesnt like being made fun of as much as the rest of us. As much as she is annoying, I think its being taken a bit too far. ZACH.

Also, Ilea. Guys, you seriously need to stop talking about her. Its to the point where youre actually making stuff up about her thats not true (Im not accusing anyone in particular but Ive heard it). And Im suppoed to defend her and frankly I dont want to have to do that. So if you have a thought in youre head about her, dont let me be in earshot when you say it. Youre supposed to be respecting her, the least you can do is pretend you are. There comes a time in every persons life when they need to just not let their opinion be known and this is one of them.
I know you can do it because I have.

In other news, blah.
Sir Ron Norris is a paledrome.

Ugh. What a horrible day. Even Mama didnt say thered be days like this. Im even too weary to type and complain about all that happened. All I'll say is that the sun will come up tomorrow.

I had a dream last night that the drumline played a cadence called "I Love Gilbert." True story.

Today is my parents 20th anniversary. Weird.

I'm lucky number thirteen!
Alyssa: "Could've been at least eleven."

Dude! I was reading LOTR today and I got to this paragraph with beautiful, brilliant imagery and I started anylyzing it subconciously. I even went back to identify what sense it appealed to and I couldn't believe what I was doing when I came to. Here, I'll give you the excerpt (its about the Shelob):
"A little way up and to the left, he saw suddenly, issuing from a black hole of shadow under the cliff, the most loathy shape that he had ever beheld, horrible beyond the horror of an evil dream. Most like a spider she was, but huger than the great hunting beasts, and more terrible than they because of the evil purpose in her remorseless eyes. Those same eyes that he had daunted and defeated, there they were lit and fell again, clustering in her out-thrust head. Great horns she had, and behind her short stalk-like neck was her huge swollen body, a vast bloated bag, swaying and sagging between her legs; its great bulk was black, blotched with livid marks, but the belly underneath was pale and luminious and gave forth a stench. Her legs were bent, with great knobbed joints high above her back, and hairs that stuck out like steel spines, and at each leg's end there was a claw."
(page 378)

It kinda reminds me of all the times I have listened to music and subconciously started counting measures..I realize what I'm doing and start freakin out

I think my blog is getting more and more random. Ya know what though, I dont have much of a life right now. I'll tell you the stuff I spend time with right now (in no specific order):
1) social life
2) band and music
3) grades
AND THATS IT. Well thats not everything, but thats the bulk of it. It's okay. You don't need a life to LOVE IT!
Note to fellow common mafia members: Don't let me eat too much sugar at lunch. I bounce off the walls in fourth block. Almost literally but not really.

Will: "A woman's place is in the house....of representatives."
lol

Today: homework
Tomorrow: group project
Wednesday: flute lesson
Thursday: the world

Yeah so apparently I am no help in marching band, which isnt far from the truth, but I really do try. I'm trying, Schwindt! I'm not a miriacle worker! Jeez. You know, I would have a lot more confidence if he would say something good to me every once in a while (about drum majoring). Confidence makes leaders better, unless they get too much of it, which won't happen in this situation because I have so little to start with. I should've never become drum major...never become a leader...

Hey everyone IT'S OVER. Keep in mind that I have forgiven everyone. I was gonna wash my car Sunday anyway. Really :)

Masquerade
Paper faces on parade
Masquerade
hide your face so the world will never find you...

I feel like I've done something wrong, but I don't think I have. Have I done something wrong?

Thanks to Shannon, Rebecca, Erin, and Richard. You guys are great friends. And Alyssa, you're a great friend too, you just weren't there at the time. I hope we stay as close as we are. I love you guys.

My day summed up in one phrase:
"Oh snap"

Craig, guess what song popped in my head the other day? Ice cap zone! Hehe. It reminded me of you. Thing are so different without you here. I'm the Stahl now. It's weird.

Physics book, page 66:
"Thus, the car's speed increases, but its acceleration is negative. When the car reaches the end of the driveway, the driver puts on the brakes and comes to a stop. Then, the final velocity will be less negative than the initial velocity. The acceleration will be positive, even though the car is moving slower"

I love physics!

Allstate: Eh.

Sleep!!!!!

If I was obnoxious like some people, and had to let the world know my every thought, I'd post something like:
"OMG GUYS IM SOOOO HAPPY! THINGS ARE GOING SOOO WELL OMG LIKE IM GONNA JUMP AND SING IM SO HAPPY" and then go into detail about why Im so happy.

But Im ashley so Ill just sit in my little corner and put a tiny smile on and if anyone asks how I am, I'll say "good."

Time for a post longer than two lines! Though I dont know what Im gonna talk about.

I hope I make allstate. Its a toss up this year. In theory, since I made it my freshman year, I should make it this year. But theory is nothing when it comes to auditions. I'm really nervous. At least I'm not sucking as much as I sometimes do.
Grades? Mediocre. Playing? Mediocre. I need some excitement! Hehe. And excitement shall I get.

I did it! Good job, Ashley!

Oh Lordy.
So much stuff swimming around in my head.
Here's the lot very quick-like:
1) I'm a SUCKY drum major. Man am I bad.
2) Confused on all levels of emotion. But happy.
3) STOP FIGHTING. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
4) Ah. I'm tired.
5) Allstate next week?
6) I wish I remembered to turn in my picture.

Yeah I know. I dont have the worst problems in the world. I'm just kinda confused. About...everything.

Rated: SCARY

Hahaha....Tony thinks he gives great massages. He OBVIOUSLY hasnt seen Eric. Right, Rebecca?

Oh how I love posting about the least important thing in my day.
:)
Because I can.

BEACH=FUN