I saw Star Wars with my dad today.
My dad is awesome in movies because he is half deaf and he doesn't know how loud he is really speaking, so whenever he says something everyone can hear it. In the middle of the movie, he went "Gotta love Yoda."
:)
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
My junior year, I played the finale (mvt. 4) of a symphony in all-county orchestra. It was Kallinikow's first symphony, and I played the second flute part. I really enjoyed playing the piece, and I enjoyed (and still enjoy) listening to the CD of us playing it (even though it is all-county quality).
Today, I heard the whole symphony on the radio. And all I can say is wow. I had no idea that the piece was so awesome. I couldn't wait for the every note. I actually got chills listening to a recording. A RECORDING! The piece is so exciting, so very Russian. The second movement is absolutely breathtaking. I remember hearing the first couple notes of the second movement, and my heart melting on the spot. How can something be so beautiful? I couldn't help but smile the whole time I was listening. The fourth movement (the one I played) is really awesome because it ties together all the themes of the other movements is such a seamless fashion. I had already been very familiar with the fourth movement, so listening to the whole symphony really helped me make sense of it ("Oh! So THAT'S where that theme came from!")
I have so so so much more appreciation for the piece now. My point is, I knew nothing about the piece from playing the second flute part for a couple days. I liked the piece but I did not love it. I actually had no idea what mysteries were hidden inside those pages. And from listening to the piece once--ONE TIME--I learned all that I confess now.
The moral of the story is that you learn so little about something with a superficial glance. You must see the whole thing to fully appreciate it.
And I'm quite sure that if I heard the piece or played the piece again, I would learn and love it even more.
I'm so glad that I got a chance to hear that. I'm a lucky person.
Today, I heard the whole symphony on the radio. And all I can say is wow. I had no idea that the piece was so awesome. I couldn't wait for the every note. I actually got chills listening to a recording. A RECORDING! The piece is so exciting, so very Russian. The second movement is absolutely breathtaking. I remember hearing the first couple notes of the second movement, and my heart melting on the spot. How can something be so beautiful? I couldn't help but smile the whole time I was listening. The fourth movement (the one I played) is really awesome because it ties together all the themes of the other movements is such a seamless fashion. I had already been very familiar with the fourth movement, so listening to the whole symphony really helped me make sense of it ("Oh! So THAT'S where that theme came from!")
I have so so so much more appreciation for the piece now. My point is, I knew nothing about the piece from playing the second flute part for a couple days. I liked the piece but I did not love it. I actually had no idea what mysteries were hidden inside those pages. And from listening to the piece once--ONE TIME--I learned all that I confess now.
The moral of the story is that you learn so little about something with a superficial glance. You must see the whole thing to fully appreciate it.
And I'm quite sure that if I heard the piece or played the piece again, I would learn and love it even more.
I'm so glad that I got a chance to hear that. I'm a lucky person.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!
It happens over and over and over and over and over and over. And when I think it will stop, it happens again. When is it going to stoooooopppppp??????????????
ANYWAY
Yesterday when I was working (work story oh nooo!) the two other hostesses were talking and blocking me out of their conversation because they don't like me. So I was amusing myself by thinking about random things and playing with the pens. Once I heard a snippet of their conversation and they said something like "two of the kids were twins." And I had the sudden urge to yell out "Like Luke and Leia!" so I yelled it out. And they just ignored me. And because they ignored me, I couldn't stop laughing for a good two minutes. And I think I made them mad because I was laughing.
It's really a wonderful atmosphere, as you can tell.
It happens over and over and over and over and over and over. And when I think it will stop, it happens again. When is it going to stoooooopppppp??????????????
ANYWAY
Yesterday when I was working (work story oh nooo!) the two other hostesses were talking and blocking me out of their conversation because they don't like me. So I was amusing myself by thinking about random things and playing with the pens. Once I heard a snippet of their conversation and they said something like "two of the kids were twins." And I had the sudden urge to yell out "Like Luke and Leia!" so I yelled it out. And they just ignored me. And because they ignored me, I couldn't stop laughing for a good two minutes. And I think I made them mad because I was laughing.
It's really a wonderful atmosphere, as you can tell.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Friday, May 27, 2005
Every time I eat cornbread, I expect to like it, only because I remember liking it before. And I am suprised when I bite into it and find that don't like it. But by the end of the time I am eating it, I say "Hey...that wasn't too bad. Maybe I'll have another."
Last night, I used my Cracker Barrel employee discount, my wal-mart gift certificate, and my regal cinemas gift certificate. IN ONE NIGHT! I am the man. Woah man. Wo man. Woman.
Have you ever thought you knew something about yourself and then proved yourself wrong?
Soooooo...yeah. It's 2:00 at night and I feel trapped. All the past summers I felt so free, at least at night. But not this summer. For some unknown reason, I feel an obligation to go to bed reasonably early.
I know it for sure now: I do have a fear of not getting enough sleep. I think it could be diagnosed. There were so many times in my past that I was so extremely overworked, forced to do things with little sleep, and I may have concluded that tired is the worst feeling in the world. I've experienced it so much in my past, and I've come to hate it. Fear it, even. What can you do well when you're tired? Nothing! (except sleep).
I mean, seriously, if I lose an hour of sleep, I freak out. Most of the time this past year, I went to sleep at exactly 10:00 and woke up at exactly 6:00. If I lost any minutes, I would have to make them up the next day. It's bad. But at least it keeps me healthy. I spose.
Last night, I used my Cracker Barrel employee discount, my wal-mart gift certificate, and my regal cinemas gift certificate. IN ONE NIGHT! I am the man. Woah man. Wo man. Woman.
Have you ever thought you knew something about yourself and then proved yourself wrong?
Soooooo...yeah. It's 2:00 at night and I feel trapped. All the past summers I felt so free, at least at night. But not this summer. For some unknown reason, I feel an obligation to go to bed reasonably early.
I know it for sure now: I do have a fear of not getting enough sleep. I think it could be diagnosed. There were so many times in my past that I was so extremely overworked, forced to do things with little sleep, and I may have concluded that tired is the worst feeling in the world. I've experienced it so much in my past, and I've come to hate it. Fear it, even. What can you do well when you're tired? Nothing! (except sleep).
I mean, seriously, if I lose an hour of sleep, I freak out. Most of the time this past year, I went to sleep at exactly 10:00 and woke up at exactly 6:00. If I lost any minutes, I would have to make them up the next day. It's bad. But at least it keeps me healthy. I spose.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
What they didn't know was that I left early so I could practice...
Well, today I recieved my audition music for FSU fall term. It's really going to be a lot of work to learn all this stuff, not to mention perfecting it for an audition. The challenge has inspired me to work even harder. I've hit the ground running. I am going to be the best.
On that note, you guys can help me! If any of you have a recording of these pieces that I can use/burn/borrow, I would love you forever:
J.S. Bach St. Matthew's Passion
Rimsky-Korsakov Russian Easter Overture
R. Strauss Rosenkavalier
Strawinsky The Firebird Suite
Mozart The Magic Flute (not the overture, but the actual opera)
Smetana Bartered Bride Overture
Tschaikovsky's 4th symphony
Rossini Semiriamis
Also, I don't know why anyone would have flute music but also if you have these pieces:
Haydn Flute Concerto in D
Stamitz Flute Concerto in G
Pergolesi Flute Concerto in G
Gluck Flute Concerto
It would help me a million times over if you could let me borrow a recording of any of these. Or, if you would prefer, show me how to illegally download music off the Internet. After all, if you teach a man to fish...
Thanks!
Well, today I recieved my audition music for FSU fall term. It's really going to be a lot of work to learn all this stuff, not to mention perfecting it for an audition. The challenge has inspired me to work even harder. I've hit the ground running. I am going to be the best.
On that note, you guys can help me! If any of you have a recording of these pieces that I can use/burn/borrow, I would love you forever:
J.S. Bach St. Matthew's Passion
Rimsky-Korsakov Russian Easter Overture
R. Strauss Rosenkavalier
Strawinsky The Firebird Suite
Mozart The Magic Flute (not the overture, but the actual opera)
Smetana Bartered Bride Overture
Tschaikovsky's 4th symphony
Rossini Semiriamis
Also, I don't know why anyone would have flute music but also if you have these pieces:
Haydn Flute Concerto in D
Stamitz Flute Concerto in G
Pergolesi Flute Concerto in G
Gluck Flute Concerto
It would help me a million times over if you could let me borrow a recording of any of these. Or, if you would prefer, show me how to illegally download music off the Internet. After all, if you teach a man to fish...
Thanks!
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Okay so here's the deal:
Cincinnati Conservatory wants to take me off the waiting list and accept me. To actually be offered admission into the school, I have to be sure that I will accept the offer, and that means free of any obligations from any other school. Basically, I would have to put FSU behind me and blindly choose Cincinnati. The only problem with that is that I need to know what kind of money I would be looking at to go to Cincinnati (I always said that $5,000 a year is the highest amount of loan I'm willing to take out except for possibly Juilliard).
SO
My mom calls the financial aid dept. to find out what our estimated financial aid is going to be. We wait a week for a response, and this is what they send:
Per Connie Williams request, I am following up with you regarding Ashley's aid application. Her FAFSA was received; however, we are unable to process her application because her admission status is pending. Once she is offered admission by her college office, we can review her FAFSA and determine what types of financial aid we can award her. Per your voice mail to Connie, it appears you have been speaking with Paul Hilner. I would again suggest speaking with him to ensure Ashley has done everything needed for CCM to determine her admission.
Obviously, this doesn't help. We send another email saying:
Would it be possible for me to speak with someone? Ashley will be offered admission only if we withdrew from another university. We can't do that unless we have some idea what financial assistance would be offered through CCM. Paul Hillner had spoke with Connie Williams last week. Ashley is very interested in attending CCM. Thank you for your time.
We get this reponse back:
Unfortunately there is nothing we can do unless CCM at least offers her admission. You would want to work with their office in an effort to at least be offered admission.
So it seems we've hit an impasse: I can't be sure that I will accept until they give a financial aid estimate, and they can't give a financial aid estimate until I am sure that I will accept.
So, sadly, my dreams of attending Cincinnati left today when we called and said that we couldn't accept the offer. Oh well. There's always the possibility of transfer next year or sophomore year.
Cincinnati Conservatory wants to take me off the waiting list and accept me. To actually be offered admission into the school, I have to be sure that I will accept the offer, and that means free of any obligations from any other school. Basically, I would have to put FSU behind me and blindly choose Cincinnati. The only problem with that is that I need to know what kind of money I would be looking at to go to Cincinnati (I always said that $5,000 a year is the highest amount of loan I'm willing to take out except for possibly Juilliard).
SO
My mom calls the financial aid dept. to find out what our estimated financial aid is going to be. We wait a week for a response, and this is what they send:
Per Connie Williams request, I am following up with you regarding Ashley's aid application. Her FAFSA was received; however, we are unable to process her application because her admission status is pending. Once she is offered admission by her college office, we can review her FAFSA and determine what types of financial aid we can award her. Per your voice mail to Connie, it appears you have been speaking with Paul Hilner. I would again suggest speaking with him to ensure Ashley has done everything needed for CCM to determine her admission.
Obviously, this doesn't help. We send another email saying:
Would it be possible for me to speak with someone? Ashley will be offered admission only if we withdrew from another university. We can't do that unless we have some idea what financial assistance would be offered through CCM. Paul Hillner had spoke with Connie Williams last week. Ashley is very interested in attending CCM. Thank you for your time.
We get this reponse back:
Unfortunately there is nothing we can do unless CCM at least offers her admission. You would want to work with their office in an effort to at least be offered admission.
So it seems we've hit an impasse: I can't be sure that I will accept until they give a financial aid estimate, and they can't give a financial aid estimate until I am sure that I will accept.
So, sadly, my dreams of attending Cincinnati left today when we called and said that we couldn't accept the offer. Oh well. There's always the possibility of transfer next year or sophomore year.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Is there no way out of this situation?
------------------------------------
I am SO practicing flute all night.
Tonight I worked with Kristen and Tony, who is in band at AHS. Kristen bragged to him about my flute stuff (I pretended I couldn't hear her). It makes you feel so good when someone brags about you. That made my day.
------------------------------------
I am SO practicing flute all night.
Tonight I worked with Kristen and Tony, who is in band at AHS. Kristen bragged to him about my flute stuff (I pretended I couldn't hear her). It makes you feel so good when someone brags about you. That made my day.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Sunday, May 22, 2005
HEY.
Graduation is over and project grad was a blast. I did lots of things, like the catching bills in the box of flying money, dancing, playing amercian gladiator, boxing with giant gloves, rock climbing, bungee jumping, eating food, beating chris at the marine obstacle course, playing volleyball, playing poker, giving and recieveing back massages, and wandering around like I was lost. YAY! I was all very fun and I'm glad I went. I just can't believe that it was all free.
Afterwards I was tired and saying things really loud and getting confused easily. That was fun too.
But something bothered me after a while and I couldn't be quite comfortable after that.
This summer is going to be so sweet I can't even imagine.
Graduation is over and project grad was a blast. I did lots of things, like the catching bills in the box of flying money, dancing, playing amercian gladiator, boxing with giant gloves, rock climbing, bungee jumping, eating food, beating chris at the marine obstacle course, playing volleyball, playing poker, giving and recieveing back massages, and wandering around like I was lost. YAY! I was all very fun and I'm glad I went. I just can't believe that it was all free.
Afterwards I was tired and saying things really loud and getting confused easily. That was fun too.
But something bothered me after a while and I couldn't be quite comfortable after that.
This summer is going to be so sweet I can't even imagine.
Friday, May 20, 2005
My thoughts during senior time today:
Senior parking: "SOMEONE TOOK MY PARKING SPACE!"
Senior breakfast: "That lady sure is annoying."
Senior video: "Hey, they only showed one of the seven pictures I submitted."
Senior march: "Wow, I wish people didn't exist."
Graduation practice: "A nice ice bath would feel good about now."
BUT
Today still rocked and you know why? Because it signifys that I am about to leave high school.
Goodbye, high school.
Today is my dad's birthday. My mom got him tickets (for him and her) for two Yankees vs. Red Sox games held in Yankee stadium. She also got plane tickets so they could fly up there. She was soo excited about the tickets, she said it was the best gift idea she's ever had. And today when my dad opened the gift, it made me smile ear to ear seeing his reaction.
"Yankees vs. Red Sox," he said excitedly, "it doesn't get any better than that!"
And all the while he was watching baseball on t.v. on the baseball network he bought.
About an hour later, at 10:30 at night, my grandfather (my dad's dad) called to wish my dad a happy birthday and to ask him if he was watching the Yankees game.
I love my dad.
I have 76 of a kind.
Senior parking: "SOMEONE TOOK MY PARKING SPACE!"
Senior breakfast: "That lady sure is annoying."
Senior video: "Hey, they only showed one of the seven pictures I submitted."
Senior march: "Wow, I wish people didn't exist."
Graduation practice: "A nice ice bath would feel good about now."
BUT
Today still rocked and you know why? Because it signifys that I am about to leave high school.
Goodbye, high school.
Today is my dad's birthday. My mom got him tickets (for him and her) for two Yankees vs. Red Sox games held in Yankee stadium. She also got plane tickets so they could fly up there. She was soo excited about the tickets, she said it was the best gift idea she's ever had. And today when my dad opened the gift, it made me smile ear to ear seeing his reaction.
"Yankees vs. Red Sox," he said excitedly, "it doesn't get any better than that!"
And all the while he was watching baseball on t.v. on the baseball network he bought.
About an hour later, at 10:30 at night, my grandfather (my dad's dad) called to wish my dad a happy birthday and to ask him if he was watching the Yankees game.
I love my dad.
I have 76 of a kind.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
I walked through the bandroom after the banquet today and noted all the familiar sights: the broken stands, the dusty trophy case, the untidy office, the aged percussion instruments, the pathetic practice rooms.
And I finally realized once and for all: this is it. No more THS band. I no longer belong in the bandroom. My second home for four years is no longer a home to me.
And I finally realized how much I do love it all, the crazy band program of ours, flaws and all.
I am going to miss THS band.
When I was at Interlochen, one of the things that hit me the hardest was the lack of familiarity. I sometimes missed random objects from home, like our grill, our sliding glass door, or my bed. I wished so hard that I could see them, be there. I wished, I realize now, only because I could not see them or be there.
I also missed the THS band. At the risk of sounding corny, the THS band is a family. We certainly quarrel like a family. But I know every face that walks in that bandroom. And it's warm and friendly and I don't have to worry when I'm there.
This is not true of..well..anywhere else. Except my real home, of course. But it's going to take me a while to feel quite the same about anywhere else as I do with THS band.
What I'm really trying to say is...I'm finally sad that I'm leaving.
Waaah.
And I finally realized once and for all: this is it. No more THS band. I no longer belong in the bandroom. My second home for four years is no longer a home to me.
And I finally realized how much I do love it all, the crazy band program of ours, flaws and all.
I am going to miss THS band.
When I was at Interlochen, one of the things that hit me the hardest was the lack of familiarity. I sometimes missed random objects from home, like our grill, our sliding glass door, or my bed. I wished so hard that I could see them, be there. I wished, I realize now, only because I could not see them or be there.
I also missed the THS band. At the risk of sounding corny, the THS band is a family. We certainly quarrel like a family. But I know every face that walks in that bandroom. And it's warm and friendly and I don't have to worry when I'm there.
This is not true of..well..anywhere else. Except my real home, of course. But it's going to take me a while to feel quite the same about anywhere else as I do with THS band.
What I'm really trying to say is...I'm finally sad that I'm leaving.
Waaah.
Today I:
Rehearsed for a skit
Listened to "Peter and the Wolf"
Played many duets
Laughed until my stomach hurt and tears were streaming down my face
Ate free food
Climbed a tree
Played tag
Climbed the same tree even higher
Played some friend's compositions
Took one of those pictures where everyone is on the ground in a circle with heads touching
Ate an award winning browine
AND BASICALLY
felt free
Rehearsed for a skit
Listened to "Peter and the Wolf"
Played many duets
Laughed until my stomach hurt and tears were streaming down my face
Ate free food
Climbed a tree
Played tag
Climbed the same tree even higher
Played some friend's compositions
Took one of those pictures where everyone is on the ground in a circle with heads touching
Ate an award winning browine
AND BASICALLY
felt free
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Being a senior isn't as easy
as some underclassmen may think
The endless toil of senioritis
Wears us down (wink wink)
The classes are either too easy
or too undeniably hard
And then the teachers abuse every moment
Every time we let down our guard
Being a role model is quite tough
There's no mistaking that fact
Everyone always watching you closely
what you wear and how you act
Skipping class is such a hassle
The beach is hardly even
Worth the scrutiny we recieve
When we tell them all "I'm leavin'"
Graduation is not fun in the least
I've been to three (I should know)
Two hours of names and names some more
Maybe I'll be a no show
In the end, though, all the work pays off
For the day we leave forever
High school will be a memory now
When will I return? Never!
as some underclassmen may think
The endless toil of senioritis
Wears us down (wink wink)
The classes are either too easy
or too undeniably hard
And then the teachers abuse every moment
Every time we let down our guard
Being a role model is quite tough
There's no mistaking that fact
Everyone always watching you closely
what you wear and how you act
Skipping class is such a hassle
The beach is hardly even
Worth the scrutiny we recieve
When we tell them all "I'm leavin'"
Graduation is not fun in the least
I've been to three (I should know)
Two hours of names and names some more
Maybe I'll be a no show
In the end, though, all the work pays off
For the day we leave forever
High school will be a memory now
When will I return? Never!
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Last THS concert ever...yeah.
I made my world premier at this concert. Oh yeah. Someday I'll make the THS orchestra famous because it's the first orchestra I ever played a concerto with.
I'm so glad that Alyssa and Katie are awesome. If they weren't, I would go crazy. I'm really lucky that ever since I have been at THS, the flute section has made upward growth. It's gotten better every single year, and right now it's better than it's ever going to be...ever again, probably.
What I'm trying to say is that my flute secion is good and I'm lucky for it.
I don't think Alyssa reads this, but thank you, Alyssa, for playing the double concerto (and everything) so well. You keep me sane in this crazy high school music program.
I made my world premier at this concert. Oh yeah. Someday I'll make the THS orchestra famous because it's the first orchestra I ever played a concerto with.
I'm so glad that Alyssa and Katie are awesome. If they weren't, I would go crazy. I'm really lucky that ever since I have been at THS, the flute section has made upward growth. It's gotten better every single year, and right now it's better than it's ever going to be...ever again, probably.
What I'm trying to say is that my flute secion is good and I'm lucky for it.
I don't think Alyssa reads this, but thank you, Alyssa, for playing the double concerto (and everything) so well. You keep me sane in this crazy high school music program.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
I have to write a composition for my music theory final. I think I'm going to arrange variations of "The Irish Washerwoman" for tuba, trombone, and two flutes (our instrumentation is limited to what we have in class). Think that sounds bad? Some people in my class are planning to write for like 10 random instruments...and use original compositions. I can't wait to hear them.
Monday, May 09, 2005
Music theory test today. It was allright. I think I did well enough to pass. Even if you pretend to be interested, you really don't want to know the details about it, so I will not tell you.
Prom was a couple days ago, I think. I was fun. We got there two hours late because we hung around Waterford for so long. We even went to Target all dressed up. It was awesome because everybody stared at us for extended periods of time.
The dance was okay. Nobody wanted to stupid dance with me, which was dumb. And then everbody formed a giant circle with people break dancing in the middle, but the circle was so thick and tall that I couldn't see even the highest head on anyone's hair in the middle. So that was dumb.
Otherwise, it was fun. I acted like myself and got a lot of people to laugh. Everybody is willing to laugh, nobody is willing to join me. They're all embarassed. I missed having the perfect date who goes along with every stupid thing I think up.
And then at my house we ate breakfast and watched The Princess Bride and I remembered why it was so awesome in my mind.
There's a hostess at Cracker Barrel who really hates me. Seriously. I'm not used to people hating me. I'm not sure what I should do about it.
I REALLY need to practice. I played for 15 minutes the whole weekend. Boo.
Prom was a couple days ago, I think. I was fun. We got there two hours late because we hung around Waterford for so long. We even went to Target all dressed up. It was awesome because everybody stared at us for extended periods of time.
The dance was okay. Nobody wanted to stupid dance with me, which was dumb. And then everbody formed a giant circle with people break dancing in the middle, but the circle was so thick and tall that I couldn't see even the highest head on anyone's hair in the middle. So that was dumb.
Otherwise, it was fun. I acted like myself and got a lot of people to laugh. Everybody is willing to laugh, nobody is willing to join me. They're all embarassed. I missed having the perfect date who goes along with every stupid thing I think up.
And then at my house we ate breakfast and watched The Princess Bride and I remembered why it was so awesome in my mind.
There's a hostess at Cracker Barrel who really hates me. Seriously. I'm not used to people hating me. I'm not sure what I should do about it.
I REALLY need to practice. I played for 15 minutes the whole weekend. Boo.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Lately, I've had these reoccurring dreams about flying. For some reason, they're usually set in the THS parking lot. I'll just jump up, point my hands to the sky, and be able to fly. And nobody else around me will be able to fly; I'm the only one. And I can float above the world, soar across Titusville, fly away from all my problems...
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Friday, May 06, 2005
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Well well well what have we here?
The AP music theory test is in 3 days, guess what we did in music theory yesterday. If you answered play basketball, then you would be correct.
When I was at grad bash:
It was really late: probably around 1:00 AM, and we decided that we wanted to go on the Hulk. We were all REALLY tired. I mean, seriously. So I don't know why, but I dared everyone to try to fall asleep on the ride. I don't know, you do stupid things when you're tired. And so when we got on the ride, I tried to fall asleep. Of course, it didn't work, but it was very interesting trying. I just rested my head against the headrest and completely relaxed my whole body. Like trying to fall asleep. Every jolt in the ride felt completely normal. I flowed with every turn. When it went upside down, I just lifted out of my seat, completely relaxed, like I was flying. I don't think I could reproduce that feeling. I was pretty dang tired. But it was awesome.
IN OTHER NEWS
My managers really don't have a very good sense of humor. You'll make a joke, and they'll just stare at you. It's crazy.
The AP music theory test is in 3 days, guess what we did in music theory yesterday. If you answered play basketball, then you would be correct.
When I was at grad bash:
It was really late: probably around 1:00 AM, and we decided that we wanted to go on the Hulk. We were all REALLY tired. I mean, seriously. So I don't know why, but I dared everyone to try to fall asleep on the ride. I don't know, you do stupid things when you're tired. And so when we got on the ride, I tried to fall asleep. Of course, it didn't work, but it was very interesting trying. I just rested my head against the headrest and completely relaxed my whole body. Like trying to fall asleep. Every jolt in the ride felt completely normal. I flowed with every turn. When it went upside down, I just lifted out of my seat, completely relaxed, like I was flying. I don't think I could reproduce that feeling. I was pretty dang tired. But it was awesome.
IN OTHER NEWS
My managers really don't have a very good sense of humor. You'll make a joke, and they'll just stare at you. It's crazy.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Ya know what I just realized? I don't think I like Christian music (keep reading, I have a rational explanation..I think). It's like taking pop songs and putting praise etc. lyrics in, right? Pop songs are one of the the lowest forms of music in my mind. It's doesn't seem good enough for God. But then what does?
I don't know. It may be okay for others, but it just doesn't sit well with me. I need hymns, traditional praise songs. Not teeny bopper beats. It just doesn't seem right. Maybe it has to do with the music I have been brought up with in church.
ANYWAY
More work to do.
It's one thing after another...
And I still haven't watched my video :(
I don't know. It may be okay for others, but it just doesn't sit well with me. I need hymns, traditional praise songs. Not teeny bopper beats. It just doesn't seem right. Maybe it has to do with the music I have been brought up with in church.
ANYWAY
More work to do.
It's one thing after another...
And I still haven't watched my video :(
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
All work no play.
Not even play flute. :(
I can't wait until the summer and the beach.
It's gonna be the best.
In the meantime, I will work work work endlessly until it kills me. Or until summer arrives. Whichever comes first. I've had play in my past, I suppose this work is well deserved.
But seriously...I haven't even had time to watch the video of my recital. And that's just sad.
:(
Not even play flute. :(
I can't wait until the summer and the beach.
It's gonna be the best.
In the meantime, I will work work work endlessly until it kills me. Or until summer arrives. Whichever comes first. I've had play in my past, I suppose this work is well deserved.
But seriously...I haven't even had time to watch the video of my recital. And that's just sad.
:(
Friday, April 29, 2005
My computer has a virus. I have to turn the computer completely off on and then back on again to go on the Internet. Viruses are a good way to stop wasting time on this piece of nonsense.
Yes, that was a coherent sentence. I think.
We played basketball in an awesome music theory day today. Colin and I have no idea how to play and yet we both owned the three point shots. Oh yeah. I don't think I'm as bad as I thought I was.
SENIOR RECITAL TOMORROW
Indian River Methodist
2:00 PM
Reception at my house afterwards
Be there or be square
About that....
I should be nervous right now. But I'm not. It's not a competition or an audition. Maybe I'll be nervous tomorrow. I'm just not very pleased with my playing right now. I'm afraid that I will let everyone down with my flawed performance. It's not going to be perfect. And I wish it could be. I want it to be perfect. I mean, I set up a heck of a program for myself--difficult in every aspect, endurace not the least. Plus I'm afraid that I made the program too long. And I will be searching for words everytime I talk. And everyone will be bored. And a million other things. No, I'm not nervous. Not about playing. I will surely please God. I am nervous for YOU guys. Pray for me, friends. Pray for yourselves.
Yes, that was a coherent sentence. I think.
We played basketball in an awesome music theory day today. Colin and I have no idea how to play and yet we both owned the three point shots. Oh yeah. I don't think I'm as bad as I thought I was.
SENIOR RECITAL TOMORROW
Indian River Methodist
2:00 PM
Reception at my house afterwards
Be there or be square
About that....
I should be nervous right now. But I'm not. It's not a competition or an audition. Maybe I'll be nervous tomorrow. I'm just not very pleased with my playing right now. I'm afraid that I will let everyone down with my flawed performance. It's not going to be perfect. And I wish it could be. I want it to be perfect. I mean, I set up a heck of a program for myself--difficult in every aspect, endurace not the least. Plus I'm afraid that I made the program too long. And I will be searching for words everytime I talk. And everyone will be bored. And a million other things. No, I'm not nervous. Not about playing. I will surely please God. I am nervous for YOU guys. Pray for me, friends. Pray for yourselves.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Ya know what's really cool? Lots of people are probably going to miss my recital to play at a NASA thing where you get autographs and free passes. YESSS
I don't sound very good on flute...
or piccolo.
Darn darn darn. Why can't I just play better? What can I do to sound better?
Stupid everything.
The laws of human vacillation say it must be so.
Editor's note: This post doesn't exist.
I don't sound very good on flute...
or piccolo.
Darn darn darn. Why can't I just play better? What can I do to sound better?
Stupid everything.
The laws of human vacillation say it must be so.
Editor's note: This post doesn't exist.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Friday, April 22, 2005
I hugged 73 people today.
I had a hugging contest with Emily. Who can hug the most people? At the end of the day, we both had the exact same number of hugs, 72, so we called a draw. Can you believe that? We both happened to get 72 exactly. And then Bob walked in and I got the final hug of the school day.
I challenge anyone to try to get more than 73 in a day, counting from the moment you walk into school to the moment you begin to walk out to your car.
And ya know what? It makes you feel really good. The cabin 11 girls would all tell you that people need at least "7 meaningful touches" per day. And I got 73. Hurrah.
Hmm, I guess I should be doing my research paper. Eh.
I had a hugging contest with Emily. Who can hug the most people? At the end of the day, we both had the exact same number of hugs, 72, so we called a draw. Can you believe that? We both happened to get 72 exactly. And then Bob walked in and I got the final hug of the school day.
I challenge anyone to try to get more than 73 in a day, counting from the moment you walk into school to the moment you begin to walk out to your car.
And ya know what? It makes you feel really good. The cabin 11 girls would all tell you that people need at least "7 meaningful touches" per day. And I got 73. Hurrah.
Hmm, I guess I should be doing my research paper. Eh.
Wow, and I didn't even have to cheat to get it!
You scored as Flute. Flute.well, flutes are very.....flutey.Kind of indescribable but I can always recognize a flute player when I see one. (not really)
If you were in an orchestra, what instrument would match your personality? created with QuizFarm.com |
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Places should stop making their normal business hours on weekdays until 4 PM.
I can't call you before 4, jerks!
This summer is going to be great. Seriously. It's going to be back in the day days. And I won't have to deal with the load of poo I have to deal with now.
UUUUGGGHHHH
Me: Summer, you can't arrive soon enough!
Summer: That's what everyone's been sayin. I hear ya, kid.
Thanks, Kevin. You really helped me.
I can't call you before 4, jerks!
This summer is going to be great. Seriously. It's going to be back in the day days. And I won't have to deal with the load of poo I have to deal with now.
UUUUGGGHHHH
Me: Summer, you can't arrive soon enough!
Summer: That's what everyone's been sayin. I hear ya, kid.
Thanks, Kevin. You really helped me.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Sometimes, you've done all you humanely can do and things are just out of your hands.
We struggle to make things the best, the happiest they can be, but there comes a point when everything you have worked so hard for is...gone. And you're standing there all alone, unprotected from the world, and nobody can help you. And you finally realize that this is what life really is, and that nobody can really understand the thing you are feeling. The pity. The pain. The dread.
Brain: Don't be a jerk, Ashley
Me: Too late.
I need a hug.
We struggle to make things the best, the happiest they can be, but there comes a point when everything you have worked so hard for is...gone. And you're standing there all alone, unprotected from the world, and nobody can help you. And you finally realize that this is what life really is, and that nobody can really understand the thing you are feeling. The pity. The pain. The dread.
Brain: Don't be a jerk, Ashley
Me: Too late.
I need a hug.
Monday, April 18, 2005
We shouldn't go to state orchestra festival because:
It would cost money that we don't have.
We don't have any music prepared.
We would have to do stupid music and go insane in the process of trying to make it decent enough for performance.
We would embarass ourselves by our inferior playing.
We would have to miss another day of school.
It probably would be another miserable day, waking up at the crack of dawn and not getting back until very late.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY:
I don't want to.
Now, please, somebody give a reason we SHOULD go.
It would cost money that we don't have.
We don't have any music prepared.
We would have to do stupid music and go insane in the process of trying to make it decent enough for performance.
We would embarass ourselves by our inferior playing.
We would have to miss another day of school.
It probably would be another miserable day, waking up at the crack of dawn and not getting back until very late.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY:
I don't want to.
Now, please, somebody give a reason we SHOULD go.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
We all seem to think that if only that one thing would happen, we could be happy. We are all waiting. If only college would start. If only summer would start. If only I got a boyfriend. If only that paper was done. If only I had another job. Etc.
Well I'm sorry guys, but waiting isn't going to get you anywhere. Even when that thing does happens, something else is going to be a problem. If you wait now, you'll be waiting forever. It's time to look the present in the face and tell it who's boss. You can be happy now. YOU CAN BE! Take charge! This is your life. Do what you need to do.
Well I'm sorry guys, but waiting isn't going to get you anywhere. Even when that thing does happens, something else is going to be a problem. If you wait now, you'll be waiting forever. It's time to look the present in the face and tell it who's boss. You can be happy now. YOU CAN BE! Take charge! This is your life. Do what you need to do.
Today was/is a good day, everything except waking up. Oh yeah and fighting with my mom.
We played a concert alongside the members of the OPO. It was fun, and it was very cool to talk to Mr. Goldman (who has a gold flute wee hee!). He talked to me about colleges, orchestras, careers in music, conductors, and the like. Very interesting to hear it from someone who has been through everything I want to go through.
PLUS they gave us free lunch: salad, breadsticks, lasagna, and chocolate mints (oh yeah) from OLIVE GARDEN! YESSS!
Along with that, I had some quality time with my section, spread the legend of the PIT MONSTER, explored the Bob Carr center backstage, did a washing machine dance, waved to people on the other side, moonwalked, went to the bathroom five times, and generally acted silly. Like I said, it was a good day.
When I have a family of my own, I am not going to scream as loud as I can about everything. I am not going to blow up because my husband put the wrong color towels in the bathroom. I am not going to yell at my children so much that they start crying, and then not stop even when they are crying. Especially when they are 17 years old and never cry at anything. I am not going to think that yelling doesn't hurt people, because it does. I am not going to yell just because I can. I am not going to lose my temper over things that don't matter. I am not going to yell because I have to take 5 seconds out of my life to do something. I am going to keep my cool. I am going to remember what it feels like to be yelled at unceasingly, and the yearning to make it stop. To make it stop. Stop. And not being able to make it stop. I am going to remember coming home in a very cheerful mood and having it be ruined by a yelling tornado that destroys everything in its path, wanting so much to be happy but I just can't be because the yelling never stops. When I have a family of my own.
And I will never never never never marry someone who does not have these same goals in mind.
We played a concert alongside the members of the OPO. It was fun, and it was very cool to talk to Mr. Goldman (who has a gold flute wee hee!). He talked to me about colleges, orchestras, careers in music, conductors, and the like. Very interesting to hear it from someone who has been through everything I want to go through.
PLUS they gave us free lunch: salad, breadsticks, lasagna, and chocolate mints (oh yeah) from OLIVE GARDEN! YESSS!
Along with that, I had some quality time with my section, spread the legend of the PIT MONSTER, explored the Bob Carr center backstage, did a washing machine dance, waved to people on the other side, moonwalked, went to the bathroom five times, and generally acted silly. Like I said, it was a good day.
When I have a family of my own, I am not going to scream as loud as I can about everything. I am not going to blow up because my husband put the wrong color towels in the bathroom. I am not going to yell at my children so much that they start crying, and then not stop even when they are crying. Especially when they are 17 years old and never cry at anything. I am not going to think that yelling doesn't hurt people, because it does. I am not going to yell just because I can. I am not going to lose my temper over things that don't matter. I am not going to yell because I have to take 5 seconds out of my life to do something. I am going to keep my cool. I am going to remember what it feels like to be yelled at unceasingly, and the yearning to make it stop. To make it stop. Stop. And not being able to make it stop. I am going to remember coming home in a very cheerful mood and having it be ruined by a yelling tornado that destroys everything in its path, wanting so much to be happy but I just can't be because the yelling never stops. When I have a family of my own.
And I will never never never never marry someone who does not have these same goals in mind.
Friday, April 15, 2005
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Brain: Go to sleep early!
Eyes: I can't stay open! HEELP!
Brain: Look what you are doing to your poor Eyes, jerk!
Me: Okay, okay, I'll do it, I'll do it. I am there.
then, secretly, as Ash is sleeping
Brain: You ready to roll, Dreams?
Dreams: Oh yeah. It's payback time.
Dreams puts forth the worst dreams ever in Ash's head.
My brain is a traitor to Dreams.
Headache: I'll be waiting when you wake up.
ZZZZZZZZZ
Eyes: I can't stay open! HEELP!
Brain: Look what you are doing to your poor Eyes, jerk!
Me: Okay, okay, I'll do it, I'll do it. I am there.
then, secretly, as Ash is sleeping
Brain: You ready to roll, Dreams?
Dreams: Oh yeah. It's payback time.
Dreams puts forth the worst dreams ever in Ash's head.
My brain is a traitor to Dreams.
Headache: I'll be waiting when you wake up.
ZZZZZZZZZ
Sunday, April 10, 2005
I didn't accomplish a single thing that I personally wanted to accomplish this weekend.
Oh well.
I think I may get fired from my Cracker Barrel tomorrow, partly due to their unwillingness to work with tough schedules, partly due to my tough schedule.
No problem here. More time for me. And if I stay then...that's fine too. Whatev.
"It's not dancing, it's...jive driving."
Come on and dance
Come on and dance
You may not get another chance
Oh well.
I think I may get fired from my Cracker Barrel tomorrow, partly due to their unwillingness to work with tough schedules, partly due to my tough schedule.
No problem here. More time for me. And if I stay then...that's fine too. Whatev.
"It's not dancing, it's...jive driving."
Come on and dance
Come on and dance
You may not get another chance
Friday, April 08, 2005
ALSO
Today we listened to an awesome recording in zero block. It was perfect. I still melt just thinking about it.
Random conversation of the day!
Me: [to Richard] You're not Mexican, are you?
Richard: No
Emily: Aren't you Puerto Rican?
we all laugh
Emily: What?
Shannon: He's not either
Emily: Then what are you, Italian?
...(I guess you had to be there.)
Today we listened to an awesome recording in zero block. It was perfect. I still melt just thinking about it.
Random conversation of the day!
Me: [to Richard] You're not Mexican, are you?
Richard: No
Emily: Aren't you Puerto Rican?
we all laugh
Emily: What?
Shannon: He's not either
Emily: Then what are you, Italian?
...(I guess you had to be there.)
It's all in good humor.
Yesterday I heard a lesson that I really needed to hear, I think.
I mean, I am strong about what I want to do in life, but there are always those moments when I think to myself, "Ashley, what are you doing? You are so smart, you could make millions, you could bring the world some peace, you could be a doctor, a teacher, something useful, and yet you insist on playing that silly instrument."
But there really is no other choice because it is what I love and it is what I am meant to do. This is one of the prime decisions of my life, and yet it isn't even a decision. I know what I am supposed to do. And I will do it.
Yesterday I heard a lesson that I really needed to hear, I think.
I mean, I am strong about what I want to do in life, but there are always those moments when I think to myself, "Ashley, what are you doing? You are so smart, you could make millions, you could bring the world some peace, you could be a doctor, a teacher, something useful, and yet you insist on playing that silly instrument."
But there really is no other choice because it is what I love and it is what I am meant to do. This is one of the prime decisions of my life, and yet it isn't even a decision. I know what I am supposed to do. And I will do it.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Saturday, April 02, 2005
I just killed a big spider using the "I'm too scared to hit it, so I'll poison it with household cleaning supplies" method.
I suprised myself by how scared I was of that spider. I screamed every time it moved.
It's legs are still twitching, like it's been electricuted.
It's surrounded by a pool of windex and mildew remover.
And I'm too scared to do anything else to it except look at it.
Usually spiders don't bother me. But this one did.
It was evil.
I suprised myself by how scared I was of that spider. I screamed every time it moved.
It's legs are still twitching, like it's been electricuted.
It's surrounded by a pool of windex and mildew remover.
And I'm too scared to do anything else to it except look at it.
Usually spiders don't bother me. But this one did.
It was evil.
What a good day! I've been in a great mood all day. Nobody is home, so I have freedom. FREEDOM!
I made an ultimate driving CD. It includes lots of energy filled songs, like "Walk like an Egyptian," "Walk this Way," "Jump," "Pinball Wizard," and so many others! I am so going to drive while listening to it. Yesss.
I made an ultimate driving CD. It includes lots of energy filled songs, like "Walk like an Egyptian," "Walk this Way," "Jump," "Pinball Wizard," and so many others! I am so going to drive while listening to it. Yesss.
Friday, April 01, 2005
E. Amsler:
"I am glad, if you let me know, about your ideas."
Ms. Clew:
"The girls were attractive to varying degrees."
So awesome.
I like the feeling I get when I take all the misplaced items in my room and throw them all together in a little pile on my floor.
I live in Florida, and I haven't gone to the beach during spring break, and tomorrow is my last free day. I MUST GO.
"I am glad, if you let me know, about your ideas."
Ms. Clew:
"The girls were attractive to varying degrees."
So awesome.
I like the feeling I get when I take all the misplaced items in my room and throw them all together in a little pile on my floor.
I live in Florida, and I haven't gone to the beach during spring break, and tomorrow is my last free day. I MUST GO.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
When Irish Eyes Are Smiling
There's a tear in your eye and I'm wondering why
For it never should be there at all
With such power in your smile sure a stone you'd beguile
So never a teardrop should fall
When your sweet lilting laughter's like some fairy song
And your eyes sparkle bright as can be
You should laugh all the while and all other times smiles
So now smile a smile for me
There's a tear in your eye and I'm wondering why
For it never should be there at all
With such power in your smile sure a stone you'd beguile
So never a teardrop should fall
When your sweet lilting laughter's like some fairy song
And your eyes sparkle bright as can be
You should laugh all the while and all other times smiles
So now smile a smile for me
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Last night, I had the most awesome dream ever. Seriously, this sounds like a story I'd make up. (I'm gonna make stuff up to fill in the holes):
It was set in medieval times (the time period, not the place). I was in a castle at a ball or something. And this one guy was my protector (he's a random person my dream made up). He was the protector of one of my beautiful friends too. Well after dancing a bit he seemed to fancy her a bit more, so he left me to be with her and I was all sad because I liked him but he liked her. So I sit on the couch-like apparatus and look all sad. Another guy runs up to me and informs me that I am needed to go on an urgent quest to save the queen.
So I, along with two knights (in shining armor may I add, if ya know what I mean) choose my weapons from a pile. I choose the first weapon I see, a long, shiny sword.
We begin our quest through a dark cave tunnel that looks mysterously like the tower of terror at MGM. Our first challengle arrives when a bad guy pops out from around a curve and we have to defeat or get past him. Well, the knights narrowly manage to escape, but I am left behind to deal with this guy by myself. And of course I slash him straight through with my sword, and we passed through the tunnel with no trouble.
After we exit the cave, we walk a bit until suddenly a huge dragon flies down and attacks us. This dragon is big, black, and mean lookin, and it doesn't breathe fire--it spits darts. Along with the claws, teeth, and other assorted weapons of destruction on this guy, he is a force to be reckoned with. And he seems to only want to kill me.
He spits his darts at me, and I manage to sidestep away. We all battle, the knights helping me as much as they can. I thought I was a goner when the dragon spit his darts at me, and I knew I wasn't going to get away in time; luckily, one of the knights jumped in front of me at the last second and used his shield to stop the darts (it was at that moment that I realized that a shield really would've helped me on this quest. I probably should have gotten one. Oops!).
The battle rages on. The dragon lunges towards me, and this time I know I am a goner. But yet again the dragon's plan is foiled; it turns out that both knights had been behind the dragon, holding him back by pulling his tail.
"Now is your chance!" they say, "Slash him!"
And I slash the poor creature again and again. Finally, it falls down with a heavy thump, and I knew we were victorious. And that I owed my life to those two knights, who put their life in danger to help save me.
Then I woke up. And I was mad because I wanted the dream to keep going. I wanted to finish the quest. Most of all, I wanted to be by those two knights once again. Now those are some real men, not the fake real-life cowards I see now.
And seriously, I was so HARD CORE in that dream. I killed a dragon and singlehandedly defeated a bad guy. I was even called on a quest because I was so awesome. Seriously.
It was set in medieval times (the time period, not the place). I was in a castle at a ball or something. And this one guy was my protector (he's a random person my dream made up). He was the protector of one of my beautiful friends too. Well after dancing a bit he seemed to fancy her a bit more, so he left me to be with her and I was all sad because I liked him but he liked her. So I sit on the couch-like apparatus and look all sad. Another guy runs up to me and informs me that I am needed to go on an urgent quest to save the queen.
So I, along with two knights (in shining armor may I add, if ya know what I mean) choose my weapons from a pile. I choose the first weapon I see, a long, shiny sword.
We begin our quest through a dark cave tunnel that looks mysterously like the tower of terror at MGM. Our first challengle arrives when a bad guy pops out from around a curve and we have to defeat or get past him. Well, the knights narrowly manage to escape, but I am left behind to deal with this guy by myself. And of course I slash him straight through with my sword, and we passed through the tunnel with no trouble.
After we exit the cave, we walk a bit until suddenly a huge dragon flies down and attacks us. This dragon is big, black, and mean lookin, and it doesn't breathe fire--it spits darts. Along with the claws, teeth, and other assorted weapons of destruction on this guy, he is a force to be reckoned with. And he seems to only want to kill me.
He spits his darts at me, and I manage to sidestep away. We all battle, the knights helping me as much as they can. I thought I was a goner when the dragon spit his darts at me, and I knew I wasn't going to get away in time; luckily, one of the knights jumped in front of me at the last second and used his shield to stop the darts (it was at that moment that I realized that a shield really would've helped me on this quest. I probably should have gotten one. Oops!).
The battle rages on. The dragon lunges towards me, and this time I know I am a goner. But yet again the dragon's plan is foiled; it turns out that both knights had been behind the dragon, holding him back by pulling his tail.
"Now is your chance!" they say, "Slash him!"
And I slash the poor creature again and again. Finally, it falls down with a heavy thump, and I knew we were victorious. And that I owed my life to those two knights, who put their life in danger to help save me.
Then I woke up. And I was mad because I wanted the dream to keep going. I wanted to finish the quest. Most of all, I wanted to be by those two knights once again. Now those are some real men, not the fake real-life cowards I see now.
And seriously, I was so HARD CORE in that dream. I killed a dragon and singlehandedly defeated a bad guy. I was even called on a quest because I was so awesome. Seriously.
When I picked up the phone to talk, I was in a good mood.
Gradually, that good mood soured through incessant commands and reminders throughout the conversation.
"Make sure you do this." "Did you do this?" "Do this now."
Actually, it wasn't even a conversation. The only words I said were "okay" and "yes."
And now I'm in a bad mood.
Cracker Barrel seems like it's going to be a good place to work. They don't rip off their employees, and they are legal in everything they do. They don't have very many stupid policies, and when you are working you get food for half price. Yay.
I am making a duet book because I know all the duets in my other book way too well. There are SO MANY duets on the sheetmusic CD. It's CRAZY!
Hmm, what should I do right now. Oh I have nothing to do I guess I'll just have to practice some more.
Gradually, that good mood soured through incessant commands and reminders throughout the conversation.
"Make sure you do this." "Did you do this?" "Do this now."
Actually, it wasn't even a conversation. The only words I said were "okay" and "yes."
And now I'm in a bad mood.
Cracker Barrel seems like it's going to be a good place to work. They don't rip off their employees, and they are legal in everything they do. They don't have very many stupid policies, and when you are working you get food for half price. Yay.
I am making a duet book because I know all the duets in my other book way too well. There are SO MANY duets on the sheetmusic CD. It's CRAZY!
Hmm, what should I do right now. Oh I have nothing to do I guess I'll just have to practice some more.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Orientation for Cracker Barrel pt. 1 today. It was sweet. I got paid for sitting around, filling out forms, and eating samples of new food. And watching some dude from Astronaut get owned by a girl.
State solo and ensemble tomorrow. Luckily, I haven't had much time to practice my solos or rehearse with the ensemble in the last few weeks, so it should be good. Also, with my time change came a judge change: instead of playing for the flute prof. from UF, I'll be playing for Mr. Bishop, a saxaphone player. Yess!
I'm SO lucky!
(carrot lover)
Yup.
There is something else going on tomorrow, nothing you guys should bother yourselves about.
I TOTALLY bought the Uakti CD from flute world. Contrabass flute ahoy!
Yes, I am feeling immature tonight. I am a teenager after all.
State solo and ensemble tomorrow. Luckily, I haven't had much time to practice my solos or rehearse with the ensemble in the last few weeks, so it should be good. Also, with my time change came a judge change: instead of playing for the flute prof. from UF, I'll be playing for Mr. Bishop, a saxaphone player. Yess!
I'm SO lucky!
(carrot lover)
Yup.
There is something else going on tomorrow, nothing you guys should bother yourselves about.
I TOTALLY bought the Uakti CD from flute world. Contrabass flute ahoy!
Yes, I am feeling immature tonight. I am a teenager after all.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Tonight on my minidisc I recorded myself playing one part of a really awesome duet. Then I transferred the sound onto the computer so I could blast it out of the speakers. Then I played the other part along with it. I played a duet...with myself.
Advice to those who think that this idea is just so awesome that you just have to try it yourself:
1) Use a metrenome when recording
2) Count off when recording
-and-
3) When playing along, turn the volume up really loud or else the balance will be off
I know, I know, I'm more awesome than you, you don't have to tell me.
Advice to those who think that this idea is just so awesome that you just have to try it yourself:
1) Use a metrenome when recording
2) Count off when recording
-and-
3) When playing along, turn the volume up really loud or else the balance will be off
I know, I know, I'm more awesome than you, you don't have to tell me.
Friday, March 25, 2005
Expression is relative. Let's say that a sextuplet (sixtuplet?) is written on a page, and a musician gives it an expressive ritardando and ends up playing the notes like they are sixteenths. Okay. That's expression.
Now let's say that in that same spot, the composer decided to write the notes as a sixteenth on the page. If the musician continued to play the notes as sixteenths, he would no longer be giving the music expression, he would just be playing the notes as they are written. Now, to give the music expression, the musician may have to give even more ritardando or something.
And that is why expression is relative.
Now let's say that in that same spot, the composer decided to write the notes as a sixteenth on the page. If the musician continued to play the notes as sixteenths, he would no longer be giving the music expression, he would just be playing the notes as they are written. Now, to give the music expression, the musician may have to give even more ritardando or something.
And that is why expression is relative.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
One of the sounds I remember from the very earliest part of my life is the click of high heels on the floor. My mom used to wear high heels every day to work, and I never wore anything that made that kind of sound on the ground, so I ended up associating the click of heels with adults. Forever, the click of shoe heels will remind me of being an adult.
Today I woke up and my head hurt like so much. I didn't want to go to school but my mom made me.
And then I failed a test. I had to work SOOO late last night, I mean I didn't get home until, like 10. I don't know how everyone expects me to find time to study.
And then I got into a fight with my friend over her stupid crush.
And the guy I like ignored me. Oh woe is me.
And then I ate 12 candy bars and gained 10 pounds. I'm so fat.
And then I spilled my lunch all over myself.
And then my pants ripped during my presentation and all the stupid preps laughed at me. They are so immature and stupid.
And when I was walking to my car a bird used my head as target practice. Why do things like this always happen to me? Why am I the only unlucky person in the whole world?
And then my car wouldn't start. It had run out of gas, and since I used the last of my money up to get that $50 lipstick, I couldn't buy gas and a friend had to drive me home.
And then I came home saw that my parents found out about my secret. Why are they snooping around all the time? Why can't they just leave me alone?
Now I have to babysit my stupid sister. She is SO annoying.
I just don't care anymore. I am SO over everything.
SONG LYRIC
I love him
He is the best person ever
And he hates me
And I should kill everything
Especially his girlfriend
Ohhh
I wish he would pay attention to me
Ohhh
I am in agony
without him
I love him
Love love loove
Ohhh
(For those of you who didn't notice, none of this is true. It's me making fun of stuff. I know, I know, I'm mean. Deal with it.)
And then I failed a test. I had to work SOOO late last night, I mean I didn't get home until, like 10. I don't know how everyone expects me to find time to study.
And then I got into a fight with my friend over her stupid crush.
And the guy I like ignored me. Oh woe is me.
And then I ate 12 candy bars and gained 10 pounds. I'm so fat.
And then I spilled my lunch all over myself.
And then my pants ripped during my presentation and all the stupid preps laughed at me. They are so immature and stupid.
And when I was walking to my car a bird used my head as target practice. Why do things like this always happen to me? Why am I the only unlucky person in the whole world?
And then my car wouldn't start. It had run out of gas, and since I used the last of my money up to get that $50 lipstick, I couldn't buy gas and a friend had to drive me home.
And then I came home saw that my parents found out about my secret. Why are they snooping around all the time? Why can't they just leave me alone?
Now I have to babysit my stupid sister. She is SO annoying.
I just don't care anymore. I am SO over everything.
SONG LYRIC
I love him
He is the best person ever
And he hates me
And I should kill everything
Especially his girlfriend
Ohhh
I wish he would pay attention to me
Ohhh
I am in agony
without him
I love him
Love love loove
Ohhh
(For those of you who didn't notice, none of this is true. It's me making fun of stuff. I know, I know, I'm mean. Deal with it.)
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Would you rather eat a cookie or a hot dog?
Cookie
Me: Just shut up, brain. It's over.
Brain: Easier said than done
I want to meet myself. That would be cool.
I don't like when people are sad.
A lot of my old friends did really well at the state gymnastics competition! It was in the newspaper. Now they are going on to regionals, and who knows after that...
Cookie
Me: Just shut up, brain. It's over.
Brain: Easier said than done
I want to meet myself. That would be cool.
I don't like when people are sad.
A lot of my old friends did really well at the state gymnastics competition! It was in the newspaper. Now they are going on to regionals, and who knows after that...
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
::knock knock::
Me: Hello?
Wagner: "I AM WAGNER"
::Wagner stays in house for the next two years::
I haven't been writing much because, well, not a lot has happened in the last few days for me.
The Kellys gave my parents this Jeopardy board game and we've played it every night since we've gotten it. My dad knows a lot more things than you'd think he would.
I also went shopping and found a prom dress. It's very nice, but I had my heart set on a cotton candy pink dress this year, which it is not. Oh well.
No Sarasota trip for FSYO :(
These nights that I spend with my parents...talking, playing games, watching tv or home videos, or just hanging out...I am going to miss these nights. I am going to miss having dinner with my parents every night, being able to talk about my day, every day. Getting opinions. Having them be proud of me when something goes well. I'm going to miss that.
I know that in college my parents will still be there for me. But I won't be there for them. It just won't be the same.
Today someone said something to me and then said the exact opposite thing to someone else. I know this because I was standing nearby when this person talked to the other person. In both cases, this person said these things to not do something this person was supposed to do. That is called lying. Lying to get your way.
This alarmed me. Does this person even know that he/she is lying to get his/her way?
Don't be a jerk, guys. Don't lie to get your way.
Let it be
Me: Hello?
Wagner: "I AM WAGNER"
::Wagner stays in house for the next two years::
I haven't been writing much because, well, not a lot has happened in the last few days for me.
The Kellys gave my parents this Jeopardy board game and we've played it every night since we've gotten it. My dad knows a lot more things than you'd think he would.
I also went shopping and found a prom dress. It's very nice, but I had my heart set on a cotton candy pink dress this year, which it is not. Oh well.
No Sarasota trip for FSYO :(
These nights that I spend with my parents...talking, playing games, watching tv or home videos, or just hanging out...I am going to miss these nights. I am going to miss having dinner with my parents every night, being able to talk about my day, every day. Getting opinions. Having them be proud of me when something goes well. I'm going to miss that.
I know that in college my parents will still be there for me. But I won't be there for them. It just won't be the same.
Today someone said something to me and then said the exact opposite thing to someone else. I know this because I was standing nearby when this person talked to the other person. In both cases, this person said these things to not do something this person was supposed to do. That is called lying. Lying to get your way.
This alarmed me. Does this person even know that he/she is lying to get his/her way?
Don't be a jerk, guys. Don't lie to get your way.
Let it be
Monday, March 21, 2005
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Spring break is going to be okay, I guess.
I saw Zach today.
When I am by myself, I allow myself to appear sad. The only person it brings down is myself. When I am with people, I do not allow myself to appear sad. If I did, the sadness would consequently travel to others, and I would be the carrier. I don't want to be responsible for that, so I try my hardest to always be happy around people.
The end.
I saw Zach today.
When I am by myself, I allow myself to appear sad. The only person it brings down is myself. When I am with people, I do not allow myself to appear sad. If I did, the sadness would consequently travel to others, and I would be the carrier. I don't want to be responsible for that, so I try my hardest to always be happy around people.
The end.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Thursday, March 17, 2005
You wouldn't believe how many times per day the words "Don't be a jerk, Ashley" run through my head.
And every time I hear those words, I decide to not be a jerk. And it makes me happy. For a moment.
P.S. I just erased something I was going to write because my brain said, "Don't be a jerk, Ashley." Seriously.
My parents said that when they were in high school, everyone went to senior prom with a date or else they didn't go at all. People didn't go with friends back then. It's good that things have changed.
Are people good or evil? It is a question I have struggled with throughout my life. I have clean evidence for both sides (evidence based on life experience, understand, and through observation). I just don't know.
And every time I hear those words, I decide to not be a jerk. And it makes me happy. For a moment.
P.S. I just erased something I was going to write because my brain said, "Don't be a jerk, Ashley." Seriously.
My parents said that when they were in high school, everyone went to senior prom with a date or else they didn't go at all. People didn't go with friends back then. It's good that things have changed.
Are people good or evil? It is a question I have struggled with throughout my life. I have clean evidence for both sides (evidence based on life experience, understand, and through observation). I just don't know.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
In my whole life, these are the accompanists I have played with:
Mr. Krienes
Dan K.
Mrs. Lowe's sister
Mrs. Aymond
Mrs. Clew
Linda Mark
weird guy at FSU
Thank you, accompanists! I appreciate you!
------------------------------------
Years ago, I used to think to myself, "I have the best life in the whole world" and truly believe it. This is true. I tried my very hardest to appreciate everything--everything!--that I could possibly be appreciative of. And I would pray to God every night, thanking him for these things, these blessings. Every night. This is true. And who is to say that I didn't have the best life in the world? I was happy, close to God, successful in everything that was important to me. In everything that mattered in my little sphere, I had the most.
Thinking about all that, I think, made me a much happier person, as well as helping me grow closer to God. It's amazing to realize what is in this world around you, what you have to be thankful for, it really is, and you'll discover this once you try.
However, I am now an adolescent, not as appreciative as I once was. It's funny because there are more Christians, more talk of religion and God and Jesus, more Bible reading in my life right now than there ever was before, and yet I feel like I am not as close to God as I could be. I feel that I need to bring back that child-like devotion and dependence. I once believed that if I didn't pray for something, then it wasn't going to happen. So I prayed a lot. For everything. For health, for success, for safety, for happiness. I prayed for it all. This is true.
Something is just missing right now. Yes, I have grown immensely in faith; yes I have learned a lot about Christianity; yes, I am perhaps more holy in my actions than before. But that child-like dependence is just...not what it used to be. And I miss it. I need it. I can't do anything by myself, and I want to realize that again. Everything I have has been given to me, and I want to realize it again. I have the best life in the world, I want to realize it again. I'm trying to struggle through life on my own, and we certainly know that just won't do. I need someone to lean on. And we all know who indeed that person is: Jesus Christ.
Mr. Krienes
Dan K.
Mrs. Lowe's sister
Mrs. Aymond
Mrs. Clew
Linda Mark
weird guy at FSU
Thank you, accompanists! I appreciate you!
------------------------------------
Years ago, I used to think to myself, "I have the best life in the whole world" and truly believe it. This is true. I tried my very hardest to appreciate everything--everything!--that I could possibly be appreciative of. And I would pray to God every night, thanking him for these things, these blessings. Every night. This is true. And who is to say that I didn't have the best life in the world? I was happy, close to God, successful in everything that was important to me. In everything that mattered in my little sphere, I had the most.
Thinking about all that, I think, made me a much happier person, as well as helping me grow closer to God. It's amazing to realize what is in this world around you, what you have to be thankful for, it really is, and you'll discover this once you try.
However, I am now an adolescent, not as appreciative as I once was. It's funny because there are more Christians, more talk of religion and God and Jesus, more Bible reading in my life right now than there ever was before, and yet I feel like I am not as close to God as I could be. I feel that I need to bring back that child-like devotion and dependence. I once believed that if I didn't pray for something, then it wasn't going to happen. So I prayed a lot. For everything. For health, for success, for safety, for happiness. I prayed for it all. This is true.
Something is just missing right now. Yes, I have grown immensely in faith; yes I have learned a lot about Christianity; yes, I am perhaps more holy in my actions than before. But that child-like dependence is just...not what it used to be. And I miss it. I need it. I can't do anything by myself, and I want to realize that again. Everything I have has been given to me, and I want to realize it again. I have the best life in the world, I want to realize it again. I'm trying to struggle through life on my own, and we certainly know that just won't do. I need someone to lean on. And we all know who indeed that person is: Jesus Christ.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
I have something to say to all you Copland-haters out there:
Give him a chance. Have you ever even tried to listen to or like Copland's work? It's actually quite pleasing. You cannot even dare to argue to me that his works are boring: full of color, sweet melodies, 4 part rounds, and tons of energy, his works are anything but boring. Why do you not like Copland, tell me? He's tonal and mature.
And hearing just one or two or his works doesn't cut it...by far. And playing just one or two of his works in a student orchestra is even worse. "I played Outdoor Overture and it sucked so I hate Copland." Come on guys! You have a brain! Use it! Give him a chance and listen to some of his other works. My favorite so far is from Billy the Kid. Try listening to that.
And yes, I do like Hoedown from Rodeo, because I feel that it has a lot of energy, and I do like Outdoor Overture, because it reminds me of when I played it at Cannon, and I do like Buckaroo Holiday from Rodeo, because I like it. But those aren't even his best works.
Appalacian Spring! One of the cornerstone pieces in orchestral literature! Have you ever even heard it? I don't mean have a conversation with someone while it's playing in the car..I mean have you actually sat down and listened to it? If you did, I bet you would like it.
And don't you dare complain to me that the shaker dance melody in it is overused. For one thing, he puts it in a new context so that it seems fresh again (in my opinion, it is the best use of that particular melody I have ever heard). For another thing, it's only like 5 minutes of a 36 minute piece. For another thing, it's a good melody; that's why lots of people use it. Lots of people use salt in cooking, would you say to me that salt is overused?
And please please don't use the excuse that Copland=Mr Ryon. That has got to be the worst excuse ever for not liking something. "Well Mr. Ryon likes Copland so that means I hate it!" Seriously.
Often when I'm listening to Copland (like right now), I say to myself, "How could someone not like this?" and then I think to myself, "they could not like it because they haven't given it a chance, that's how."
I just don't like when people judge things when they haven't even given them a chance. Open your minds, live a little, and you will find that you actually do like Copland and his works. Once you have tried to like him and you still don't, come back to me and tell me why. Maybe I'll be more understanding then. It just drives me crazy that such a great composer is so vastly underrated and underappreiciated.
Long live the work of Copland!
Tomorrow's propoganda lecture: Hovanhess!
Just kidding!
Give him a chance. Have you ever even tried to listen to or like Copland's work? It's actually quite pleasing. You cannot even dare to argue to me that his works are boring: full of color, sweet melodies, 4 part rounds, and tons of energy, his works are anything but boring. Why do you not like Copland, tell me? He's tonal and mature.
And hearing just one or two or his works doesn't cut it...by far. And playing just one or two of his works in a student orchestra is even worse. "I played Outdoor Overture and it sucked so I hate Copland." Come on guys! You have a brain! Use it! Give him a chance and listen to some of his other works. My favorite so far is from Billy the Kid. Try listening to that.
And yes, I do like Hoedown from Rodeo, because I feel that it has a lot of energy, and I do like Outdoor Overture, because it reminds me of when I played it at Cannon, and I do like Buckaroo Holiday from Rodeo, because I like it. But those aren't even his best works.
Appalacian Spring! One of the cornerstone pieces in orchestral literature! Have you ever even heard it? I don't mean have a conversation with someone while it's playing in the car..I mean have you actually sat down and listened to it? If you did, I bet you would like it.
And don't you dare complain to me that the shaker dance melody in it is overused. For one thing, he puts it in a new context so that it seems fresh again (in my opinion, it is the best use of that particular melody I have ever heard). For another thing, it's only like 5 minutes of a 36 minute piece. For another thing, it's a good melody; that's why lots of people use it. Lots of people use salt in cooking, would you say to me that salt is overused?
And please please don't use the excuse that Copland=Mr Ryon. That has got to be the worst excuse ever for not liking something. "Well Mr. Ryon likes Copland so that means I hate it!" Seriously.
Often when I'm listening to Copland (like right now), I say to myself, "How could someone not like this?" and then I think to myself, "they could not like it because they haven't given it a chance, that's how."
I just don't like when people judge things when they haven't even given them a chance. Open your minds, live a little, and you will find that you actually do like Copland and his works. Once you have tried to like him and you still don't, come back to me and tell me why. Maybe I'll be more understanding then. It just drives me crazy that such a great composer is so vastly underrated and underappreiciated.
Long live the work of Copland!
Tomorrow's propoganda lecture: Hovanhess!
Just kidding!
Monday, March 14, 2005
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Really good conversation last night. Some interesting questions came up.
How do you make a really good, true, close friend? What are the ingredients?
Furthermore, how do you make a friend..period?
Why do certain people like certain types of music while others don't?
Which composers from our day are going to be remembered?
Are there really any musical genuises anymore?
Why do we always think the past is better than the present?
Why are things like playing with a slinky, twirling in a swivel chair, and smashing objects into little pieces so satisfying?
Why do we get attached to some posessions and not others?
There's nothing like a good conversation, I'll tell ya that.
I am quite sure that I am the worst basketball player in the entire world, and I would bet on that. Seriously.
I love you.
How do you make a really good, true, close friend? What are the ingredients?
Furthermore, how do you make a friend..period?
Why do certain people like certain types of music while others don't?
Which composers from our day are going to be remembered?
Are there really any musical genuises anymore?
Why do we always think the past is better than the present?
Why are things like playing with a slinky, twirling in a swivel chair, and smashing objects into little pieces so satisfying?
Why do we get attached to some posessions and not others?
There's nothing like a good conversation, I'll tell ya that.
I am quite sure that I am the worst basketball player in the entire world, and I would bet on that. Seriously.
I love you.
Friday, March 11, 2005
I was hired at Cracker Barrell.Or Barrel. Or Barell. Sort of.
Today I decided to not practice in second block. Instead, I sat and added random comments to the conversations going on in the office while simultaneously playing freecell. It was fun and relaxing.
It is not enough to just avoid sin. You have to live for God, live for Jesus, that is enough. Sometimes I find myself not doing anything technically called a sin, but I still find myself feeling like I could be living better. And that's why: I find myself, at these times, living for the world. Living for myself. Okay, okay, I'll admit, I find myself living for the world or myself a lot. It's something I need to work on. But I consider not living for God a sin in itself, is it not? Therefore, when one doesn't live for God, he is committing a sin anyway. So there you have it.
For example: I read a book. A novel. But what could I be reading instead? The Bible. I am not doing anything wrong, but it's still not enough. You guys probably think I'm crazy. But I know what I'm talking about.
Today I decided to not practice in second block. Instead, I sat and added random comments to the conversations going on in the office while simultaneously playing freecell. It was fun and relaxing.
It is not enough to just avoid sin. You have to live for God, live for Jesus, that is enough. Sometimes I find myself not doing anything technically called a sin, but I still find myself feeling like I could be living better. And that's why: I find myself, at these times, living for the world. Living for myself. Okay, okay, I'll admit, I find myself living for the world or myself a lot. It's something I need to work on. But I consider not living for God a sin in itself, is it not? Therefore, when one doesn't live for God, he is committing a sin anyway. So there you have it.
For example: I read a book. A novel. But what could I be reading instead? The Bible. I am not doing anything wrong, but it's still not enough. You guys probably think I'm crazy. But I know what I'm talking about.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Dude, honey baked ham! Sweet!
Wow. I don't have much to say. This is so great, the whole having time thing. I forgot what it was like. I can actually choose the activity that I do right now. Who could ask for anything more?
Yesterday I forgot my lunch and so I bought a full lunch. I wasn't expecting anything too great, but I got a meatball sub, and it was delicious. Much better than my crummy sandwich (get it, crummy? Wakka wakka) would've been had I remembered my lunch. Just goes to show you that you can't always tell at first if an event is good or bad. I thought forgetting my lunch was a horrific, if not deadly, event. But I got a meatball sub and a sugar cookie out of it, and that isn't too bad at all.
Haha, horrific, if not deadly. I crack myself up.
This talk of food is making me hungry. Catch ya on the food side. I mean flip side.
Wow. I don't have much to say. This is so great, the whole having time thing. I forgot what it was like. I can actually choose the activity that I do right now. Who could ask for anything more?
Yesterday I forgot my lunch and so I bought a full lunch. I wasn't expecting anything too great, but I got a meatball sub, and it was delicious. Much better than my crummy sandwich (get it, crummy? Wakka wakka) would've been had I remembered my lunch. Just goes to show you that you can't always tell at first if an event is good or bad. I thought forgetting my lunch was a horrific, if not deadly, event. But I got a meatball sub and a sugar cookie out of it, and that isn't too bad at all.
Haha, horrific, if not deadly. I crack myself up.
This talk of food is making me hungry. Catch ya on the food side. I mean flip side.
Monday, March 07, 2005
Saturday I recieved a piece of mail both from NEC and from Cincinnati. But neither of them had anything to do with acceptance or rejection. The Cincinnati one wanted me to shadow or something and the NEC one was annoucing the new flute teacher for next year (priciple of BSO, man.) It's sad when you finally think you're getting an answer and then you are wrong. Ah well. There are worse things in life.
I applied to Cracker Barrel. And Staples. Hooray for money making devices.
Me: Relationships can hurt a lot, can't they, Brain?
Brain: Only if you let them.
Me: It's not a matter of letting something hurt. If I stab you with a knife, it's going to hurt. You can't control pain.
Brain: Not control; ignore. You can ignore the pain and pretend it's not there. That at least will hide you from the world.
Me: And live a life of agony. That's wonderful.
Brain: You really should be talking to Heart about this, you know.
When I want to be happy, I:
Play flute
Listen to Beethoven or Mozart or U2 or Irush
Dance around my room
Act stupid, maybe walk like a robot or like an Egyptian
Pray
Read a book
Watch home videos
Eat yummy food
Exercise
Talk to people who generally make me happy
Think of happy things, like bunnies and flowers and Interlochen
Pretend I am little again
Clean
It's not easy to do those things when you are currently unhappy. But they work.
I like laughing more than most things.
I applied to Cracker Barrel. And Staples. Hooray for money making devices.
Me: Relationships can hurt a lot, can't they, Brain?
Brain: Only if you let them.
Me: It's not a matter of letting something hurt. If I stab you with a knife, it's going to hurt. You can't control pain.
Brain: Not control; ignore. You can ignore the pain and pretend it's not there. That at least will hide you from the world.
Me: And live a life of agony. That's wonderful.
Brain: You really should be talking to Heart about this, you know.
When I want to be happy, I:
Play flute
Listen to Beethoven or Mozart or U2 or Irush
Dance around my room
Act stupid, maybe walk like a robot or like an Egyptian
Pray
Read a book
Watch home videos
Eat yummy food
Exercise
Talk to people who generally make me happy
Think of happy things, like bunnies and flowers and Interlochen
Pretend I am little again
Clean
It's not easy to do those things when you are currently unhappy. But they work.
I like laughing more than most things.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
It's interesting how a normal conversation suddenly becomes a good conversation. I wish I could pinpoint the transformation sentence.
The most important people in my life aren't neccessarily the ones I have known the longest (besides the obvious: family, etc). What sets someone apart so that you cannot live without him (her)? I have thought about this. The answer is love. If you love someone, you will think about him even when he's not around. If you love someone, you will go insane having to live without him. It's not the amount of time spent together, not the amount of fun you have experienced around this person, not the quantity of laughter he has evoked, not the attraction of the person, none of these. It's the unexplanable quality of love. It's the love.
The most important people in my life aren't neccessarily the ones I have known the longest (besides the obvious: family, etc). What sets someone apart so that you cannot live without him (her)? I have thought about this. The answer is love. If you love someone, you will think about him even when he's not around. If you love someone, you will go insane having to live without him. It's not the amount of time spent together, not the amount of fun you have experienced around this person, not the quantity of laughter he has evoked, not the attraction of the person, none of these. It's the unexplanable quality of love. It's the love.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Listening to allcounty's Egmont Overture makes me very happy. It reminds me of Dr. Marosi. I love you, Dr. Marosi!
Nobody really wants to hear about New York, right?
Okay good.
Well, I will say one thing.
I had real New York pizza
and it rocked.
Why is scratching your head a symbol that you are confused? Is it supposed to mean that you are scratching your brain? If so, how would scratching your brain help you be less confused? Or maybe it's like massaging your head, and it relaxes you and helps you find an answer. But scratching isnt exactly the same as massaging. Or maybe it's a symbol. I don't know. Wow, my grammar has gone down the drain.
If I put my hand in hot water, I won't realize until a moment later that my hand hurts. At that point I will quickly withdraw from the heat, but as soon as I pull my hand away, the pain increases. It gets worse for what seems like eternity, until it becomes truly unbearable (depending on how hot the water was). It seems strange to me that the pain increases after my hand is ouside the water, or the source of pain. But it does.
The pain eventually goes away. The whole process occurs only for a second, maybe two, but it seems much longer when it happens. If the water is hot enough, it may leave a scar. I've heard that burn scars are the worst kind of scars to have. The skin doesn't grow back, and all painkillers just seep through. Nothing can help.
Don't get a burn scar, because it won't fade away like the others.
Don't put your hand in hot water.
BEACH
Nobody really wants to hear about New York, right?
Okay good.
Well, I will say one thing.
I had real New York pizza
and it rocked.
Why is scratching your head a symbol that you are confused? Is it supposed to mean that you are scratching your brain? If so, how would scratching your brain help you be less confused? Or maybe it's like massaging your head, and it relaxes you and helps you find an answer. But scratching isnt exactly the same as massaging. Or maybe it's a symbol. I don't know. Wow, my grammar has gone down the drain.
If I put my hand in hot water, I won't realize until a moment later that my hand hurts. At that point I will quickly withdraw from the heat, but as soon as I pull my hand away, the pain increases. It gets worse for what seems like eternity, until it becomes truly unbearable (depending on how hot the water was). It seems strange to me that the pain increases after my hand is ouside the water, or the source of pain. But it does.
The pain eventually goes away. The whole process occurs only for a second, maybe two, but it seems much longer when it happens. If the water is hot enough, it may leave a scar. I've heard that burn scars are the worst kind of scars to have. The skin doesn't grow back, and all painkillers just seep through. Nothing can help.
Don't get a burn scar, because it won't fade away like the others.
Don't put your hand in hot water.
BEACH
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
College people come home next week!
My auditions are all over!
I mean, it was fun and exciting but it was getting very tiresome. I actually think I made myself sick from staying up late every night to catch up on makeup work and waking up early to catch planes, etc.
I would definitely do it again, yes.
Now I have crossed off two colleges from the list, Juilliard because I'm not going to be accepted there, and NEC because we are not compatible (and I'm probably not going to get enough money to go there anyway).
That leaves three colleges left. Tied for first place are Eastman and Cincinnati Conservatory, and the most reasonable choice, FSU, is not far behind. All three schools are awesome, and I have incentive to go to FSU, as it is going to be more than free.
This week is almost as bad as the last few, which didn't just include the auditions but also solo and ensemble, several recordings to be made, a research paper, lessons, two colds, a scholarship competition, and, um, school. Did I go to school? I don't remember.
I will tell you about Juilliard and New York sometime, but I have a lesson right now so I must go.
My auditions are all over!
I mean, it was fun and exciting but it was getting very tiresome. I actually think I made myself sick from staying up late every night to catch up on makeup work and waking up early to catch planes, etc.
I would definitely do it again, yes.
Now I have crossed off two colleges from the list, Juilliard because I'm not going to be accepted there, and NEC because we are not compatible (and I'm probably not going to get enough money to go there anyway).
That leaves three colleges left. Tied for first place are Eastman and Cincinnati Conservatory, and the most reasonable choice, FSU, is not far behind. All three schools are awesome, and I have incentive to go to FSU, as it is going to be more than free.
This week is almost as bad as the last few, which didn't just include the auditions but also solo and ensemble, several recordings to be made, a research paper, lessons, two colds, a scholarship competition, and, um, school. Did I go to school? I don't remember.
I will tell you about Juilliard and New York sometime, but I have a lesson right now so I must go.
