7:40 PM
WC: 940

4:00 PM
WC: 704

11:00 AM
WC: 664

Today has been a very strange day:

Hi Mr. Lutgens,
This is Ashley Stahl, a student at FSU. I applied to the FFA advanced
masterclass, and I was just wondering if you know who is in yet. Some of my
peers have heard already, and I thought it strange that I didn't get any info
yet. Just wondering!
Thanks a lot,
Ashley


I tried contacting you, but did not reach you! Congratulations! you are a winner! Letters went out late due to a death in a family of one of the judges.

Congrats.,
Karl

-------------------------------------------------

Dr. J:
"I would be suprised if you don't recieve an A in the class."

-------------------------------------------------

Congratulations to all who auditioned for the GALA Recital.

Those who were selected to perform are listed (in performance order) below....

....Concerto Mvt. 1 by Jacques Ibert - Ashley Stahl, flute and Yu Chien Chen, piano

-------------------------------------------------

Dear Ms. Stahl,
Thank you very much for submitting a CD in consideration for the Orlando Philharmonic's upcoming Principal Flute audition. Your CD was listened to and judged by the 7 member woodwind audition committee. I am pleased to tell you that your audition received enough votes for you to be advanced to the semi-final round of the audition, to be held on January 10, 2008....

.....Congratulations, and thank you again for your interest in the Orlando Philharmonic Orchestra.

-------------------------------------------------

What

This does not correspond to my health. Emotionally, I'm up in the clouds. I feel like I did the first time I made all-state as a freshman in high school. I was so excited that I asked my band director if I could use his phone to call my mom during class.
But physically, I feel like the life has been drained out of me. No worries, I know I will feel better by the time I wake up tomorrow. I know because I feel like this once every month...this month just happens to be a nasty one.

Hey guys
The Orlando Phil liked my playing
That makes me cool

Aaron Copland makes my life better.

Sigh....
Always so much work....

Today I had my final conducting project and my 19th-century styles presentation. I was so nervous for them that I woke up about 5 times last night thinking about Brahms and Nimrod.

Can't really tell if the presentations went well or not, but I did my best so I guess I'll take whatever they decide to give me...grades are such a funny concept. I mean, coming into conducting I really knew nothing about the subject. Now I know quite a bit. And I will somehow be assigned a grade on how well I learned to conduct. It's just funny that we get grades for learning things.
(I don't know if this is making any sense. Like I said, not much sleep last night).

Still to do:
Write hist paper (by Friday)
Write 19th century styles paper (next Thursday)
German Plauderai
German exam (next Tues)
Hist. exam (next Thurs)

Gala audition, recitals, normal homework, finish getting flute notebook together, blah blah blah...all the normal stuff.

Oh man. It never ends. Until two weeks from today...

Always remember
The first of December
For that is the day
That Ashley could FINALLY play
That excerpt for piccolo,
The Tchaik 4 solo.

It's been a long and hard war. Every practice session was a battle that I could win or lose. I would win the battle if I made progress by the end of the practice session; I would lose the battle if I gave up in the middle, frustrated, dejected, cursing Tchaikovsky, and wanting to never play piccolo again. I have to admit that I am pretty sure I have lost more battle than I have won.

But I kept trying. I would come back, days or weeks or even months later and pick up the excerpt again, ready to give it another try. This went on for how long?...I don't even know. At least three years now...three years of hatred for that excerpt...three years of mental block, three years of thinking, I will never be able to play this. It's beyond me. Three years of playing it poorly in EVERY SINGLE audition and losing the audition because of that...

And yet, I made progress the whole time. Inching every slowly towards my goal, oh, now I can play the ending run. Wait, now I can play it at a faster tempo. How is it that I can now play the opening more cleanly? You never know quite when these things happen, you just know that one day you take your instrument out and suddenly you can do things that were just beyond your reach before. It's a mystery to me.

And yesterday, the 1st of December 2007, I finally finally finally won the war. I played it at tempo. The F spoke. I played the run at the end. The opening wasn't a problem. I played it again just to be sure it wasn't a fluke. I played it again and again and again...and then I stopped playing it. I walked out into the hall, hoping that someone, anyone, would be there and I could tell them that I can finally play the Tchaik 4 piccolo excerpt.

Nobody was there. So I opened my arms wide and said to the empty hall, "I can play it."

I can play it.
FINALLY.

What do these items have in common?

Wood
A phone book
Two boxes of checks
Excerpts
A rent bill
Several boxes
Onions
Sugar
A beer bottle
Popcorn
A soda can
Eggs
Hot dogs
Marshmellows
A CD
A record
A shirt
A pair of pants
Two full ears of corn
Survey homework

Only four people know the answer. Can you add anything?

I think all I ate today was pizza and cookies.

Okay, well that's not true

....until after 8:00 AM.

If anyone is wondering what to get me this Christmas, I have an extensive wish list on Amazon. There are items with a variety of prices, so I'm sure you'll find something.
:)

I think I owe a lot of people money right now.

Please tell me if I owe you money.

Es gibt Gute und Schlechtes in jeder Person, sogar die, die wir nicht erwarten.

Sometimes I think of good things to write in here, but I forget them by the time I get a chance to write so you get posts like this instead.

Good news: my bike was not stolen!

I don't want to go back to Tallahassee. I don't want to drive for five hours. I don't want to write my research paper. I don't want to do my 19th century styles project. I don't even really want to practice or do those recordings.

What I do want to do is hang out with friends and play games all day.

Also eat cookies.

This break was great. It's tantalizing.

Christmas party
Party all night
Night watch
Watch out!

Happy Thanksgiving, friends of the blogsphere!

In honors of this day, I am going to write about...a dog.
I think my grandparents have the most annoying dog ever created.
I don't have anything against dogs. I like 'em well enough. I much prefer cats (I like their independence--reminds me of myself), but dogs are allright and can even be pretty fun as long as they aren't super annoying.

This dog is super annoying.

She's a little boston terrier named "Ladybug." She's about two years old but I don't think she ever learned her name because people call her a mixture of "Bug," "Lady" and "Ladybug." And yeah, she IS pretty cute...but cute doesn't make up for everything else.

The minute you walk in the house, you will be attacked. She circles around you, jumping and scratching your legs with her CLAWS. And then when you try to sit down she keeps jumping in your seat. And then if you do manage to sit down, she will jump into YOUR FACE and slobber all over you. On your arms, your face, your hair, all your clothes. If you try to push her away she will think you are playing and continue jump at you, but now with more violence. When she finally leaves you alone, she will find your shoes and chew on them. And then she will not give them back.

She won't play catch like a normal dog. You'll throw her toy and she'll just ignore it and then jump into your face and slobber.

While you are eating a meal, she will walk around and bite your toes and lick your feet throughout the meal. And when she's not doing that she's trying to jump into your lap.

She's really stupid, too. Whenever she goes for a walk she will eat everything in her path, including dirt and grass. My gradparents told me today that not too long ago she ate a LIVE FROG. And of course she was choking for while. When she finally threw it up again, it was still alive. Disgusting. And then she licks you with that same tongue. Ewww ewwwwwww.....

Cats are so much better than dogs, and if this post does not convince you, I don't know what will. No cat will slobber all over you and then eat a live frog. They aren't stupid, and they aren't annoying.

Home soon YAY!
5-hour drive BOO.

And she said -- "Tell me are you a Christian, child?"
And I said
"Ma'am I am tonight!"

(.....and every night!)

What an experience. God is awesome. That's all I'm gonna say.

Why does Wagner hate me. Why.

"Hitler liked Wagner...but did Wagner like Hitler?"
"Probably not. Wagner didn't like anybody. Except for that one lady."

Texas Sarasota Aspen Tanglewood Brevard Pacific
I'm goin' for 'em all this year.

I'm feeling pretty happy right now. A series of happy events happened for me, (and I don't even care that that was terrible English) which seems to actually be pretty normal for me around this time of year. I always have a big dip in self-esteem in the middle of the semester and then it comes back up around the middle and end of November. As Goran said, you can either have a static, unevenful life or one full of many highs and lows. "The sum is the same." That's what he said. Anyway...

In the past couple days, I've a few good preformances and one of them was for Goran Marcusson! Weee! I love that guy. He seemed to really like my playing, which REALLY helps with confidence. I've come to discover that the single most important attribute for a music performance is confidence. That's really what it's all about. If you've got it, you'll have a good performance every time. If you don't have it, you....well, you will not have a great performance every time. Confidence also ties into nerves. It's all connected.

Also, I found out today that I am an FFA young artist finalist! Yay! That means more Ibert! I have to say that I didn't really appreciate the music in the beginning (because it was hard and made me angry), but now I'm starting to love it.

Today I sent in my audition CD for the OPO principal flute audition. I feel like I am at a level now where I might just be able to advance to the next round. I had a feeling at the last audition that if it wasn't for my awful piccolo playing, I would have had a chance to advance. Now there's no piccolo involved, and maybe, just maybe, I've got a chance. You never know.
Anyway, it contribes to my happiness either way because I accomplished something by sending in that CD, and that's enough for me. That's four professional auditions now--that's way more than most players my age, I think.

Thanksgiving and winter break are coming up soon, and though I am prepared to work hard up until the very end, I'm excited at the prospect of a break. I'm not working this winter, so it'll be practice all day and party all night, or something of the sort. My family is going on a 5-day cruise the first 5 days I'm off school, and I'm sending my flute in to the repair shopduring that time, so that means the first real break--from flute, school, work, EVERYHTHING!--since summer. And THAT is exciting. We're going to Mexico!

I don't really know why I'm writing my life story here today, but I hope you enjoyed it. I hope some of my happiness rubs off on you, dear friend!

Messiaen is like a ninja. He can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants.

Man, what a great day learning-wise. Sometimes you just have to sit back and actually listen to what your professors tell you. They can be so wise.

The day started out in conducting where Dr. J gave a superb lecture.
"Life is a struggle marked by moments of extraordinary beauty...and the struggle makes those moments more beautiful."
"The audience can not know the difference between a quarter note and a flea market, but if there is something COMPELLING happening on stage, they will understand that."

Then in the lecture in music history with Dr. Seaton, he introduced the Baroque movement with such character--I've never thought of Baroque in that way before. And the doctrine of affections finally makes sense now.
"When you are in love, it's like you are getting into a box. You are IN love."

And then the Goran Marcusson masterclass later on. His masterclass are always simultaneously entertaining and educational, but the real wisdom in his words today were at the very end. Few people stayed for the whole class, but I think that everyone who did will tell you that it was well worth the wait to hear what made Goran push through all the failures and keep trying, again and again.

I am so happy right now. Really, as much as we complain about how they grade and how unfair they are, our teachers really have a lot to offer us. Nobody should ever skip a class taught by a professor as good as those two (or a masterclass as good as Goran's).

I've still got it.
That fire inside.

Nobody here on Earth can take that away.

My alarm clock did not exist this weekend.

Craig and I each take a cookie and stare at each other while eating

Craig: "Time for a cookie staredown."

In the last 24 hours, I have only spoken to two people.

Also, I am incapable of doing any work except practice this weekend. I can't make myself do it.

"Do you KNOW about Gesualdo?!"
"What? Of course I know about Gesualdo."
"He was crazy!!"
"Yes, yes he was."
"He killed his wife! He shot her and her lover and then stabbed them for good measure."
"Well he had to make sure they were dead."
"Then he used his fame as a murderer to sell collections of madrigals!"

"...and he rocked his wife's baby to death because it didn't look like him!
That man was CRAZY!"

Sometimes we live the consequences of our actions, and we discover that maybe somewhere along the line we didn't make the best choice possible.

But we really did.
We just don't know it.

I have made some bad choices this semester. Some bad choices in my past. But who would I be without bad choices? What would I learn from?

For example, now I know that when choosing between Blue Bunny Reese's and Heath, I should always go with Reese's.

DIFFERENT TOPIC
I started daydreaming in one of my classes today (I won't reveal which one), and I discovered that I really want to see The Matrix again. I've never seen the whole thing in one sitting, and you gotta see the classics every once in a while.

Anyone want to see The Matrix with me this weekend?

I really like minimalism.

I also really like playing the flute.
That may sound obvious, but a lot of music majors don't really like playing.
But I am one of the people who really love what they do.

I realize this from time to time....for example, in orchestra today, I was tired and worn out. I had been at school for 11 hours without a break in the activity, and yet I was still sad when we didn't finish playing the entire piece, when we didn't stay late to complete the rehearsal. I wanted to play it!!

There's always that time at night when you know you should go to bed, and even though you might really be tired, you just don't want to go to bed. You want to continue surfing the net, checking facebook, listening to music...it's the equivalent of a child saying, "But mom, I don't want to go to bed. I'm not tired..." and then falls asleep the minute his head touches the pillow.

We would probably still say that if our moms still set a bedtime for us.

Anything to procrastinate in college, huh? We've gotten to the point of procrastinating SLEEPING. You gotta be a hardcore procrastinator to be able to do that. But college students have mastered the art. You see, we procrastinate sleep at night and then use sleep as a procrastination technique during the day. You see? Genius.

Anyway, that time for me is right now. I have successfully wasted a perfectly good five minutes that I should have spent sleeping writing this post. I've mastered the art.

Die Buero macht mein Leben besser.

Oh man, I just watched my last conducting video...it was really bad. What was I doing? And why don't I remember them saying any of those things? I must have been really out of it that week. Course, that was Monday of the worst week ever.

Whywhywhywhwhywhywhywhywhywhywhwywhywywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhwywhywhy

I can't sleep
I know why

No better way to spend a Saturday night than to practice till 10, come home, pop in The Lord of the Rings, make some popcorn, and sit down with a music history textbook and a laptop to write questions with.

If there ever was a nerd in this world...it would be me.

Prof. Amsler, talking to me about a 20th century Rodrigo piece based on baroque melodies:

"I know why you like this piece. You like Baroque music, but you like Baroque music with vibrato."

lol. I confess. It's true.

So things are settling down a bit, and I am starting to be able to apprecite the good things in life again. Man, never say you are busy till you have a recital, a research paper, and a musical all at the same time. That was tough.

But now, I am able to practice, actually do my homework well, hang out with friends, take time for R and R, and sleep every night. It's really nice.
I'm mean, I'm still busy but it doesn't feel like it anymore because I've been to the limit. It feels like I have all the time in the world...

I am getting back on track, as they say.

I really need a break. Is Thanksgiving here yet??

"I wish life consisted of sitting in a bean bag and eating cookies..."

I don't really wish that, but it is really nice for a short amount of time...a couple hours, maybe.

I miss the beach, and I miss my friends at home.
Steve and Beth and Josh and Erin and the rest of the gang.
:(


P.S. Don't start listening to the Beach Boys unless you want to miss the beach.

Ich bin FAUL!!
Ich brauche zu arbeiten. MEHR.

Auch, Tanglewood, Ihre Website ist nicht sehr gut.

Ende.

So I slept through my alarm today. Woke up an hour later than it was set for. What the heck.

I managed to get to school ten minutes after I woke up, which is quite a feat. I got to conducting a half hour late, so I was marked absent, but it's better than not being there at all, right?..

It's just one of those days...

At least I found an accompanist for the concerto competition. Thanks, Nik!!

There are giants in the sky.

:(

That emoticon is sad and so am I.

I'm only a semi-nole.

Why isn't Astronaut High School's mascot an astronaut?

This World Series disgusts me.

This is the happiest I have felt in the last two weeks, and it was because I had a breakdown today.

It got all of my negativity, all of my stress, and all of my nerves out BEFORE the recital, so when I walked out on stage at night, that was a genuine smile on my face. I was happy to be there, happy to be playing such wonderful, deep music. How blessed we are...

I had a great time at the recital. I really did. It might have been my favorite recital I have ever played, and I think it was probably the best I have ever sounded as well.

Soli Deo Gloria--glory to God alone. If I make music, it is only because God allows me, gives me the tools.

In any case, I hope everyone enjoyed it.

Sorry RUF guys...I'm sleeping in tomorrow.

I can see the light at the end. I'm almost there. Almost...

Dear Life,
I need more stress right now. Can you please deliver some--preferably in the form of a party? I really need something to distract me from my research paper and my recital, and some lost sleep wouldn't hurt either. I also don't think I received enough stress this past week, so some more would be a great improvement.
All my love,
Ashley

Dearest Ashley,
I would love to give you some more stress! You know that stress in the form of parties is one of my favorite deliveries. Tomorrow you will have more stress than you could ever imagine!!
Love,
Life

I'm in a CRAAAAAZY mood. AND I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD ANY SUGAR. And my life is not going any better than it was before
(except for a great rehearsal)

AND IT IS POURING OUTSIDE.

I was one of those days when you wake up and you can just feel that it is going to be yucky all day. YOU JUST KNOW.

maybe I've gone crazy from stress.
there is a banana on my keyboard tray.
BANANAS ARE MONKEY FOOD!!!!

(I love loud piano).
(and lamP)

YAY LIFE

1) I am still healthy.
2) At least I don't have to write my paper on a typrewriter.
3) I've still got my friends.

:)

It'll be over soon. Before I know it.

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

This is an exact poetic representation of what I've felt like all week (especially today).

A solo recital, a research paper, and four hours of musical every night--one of these three things would usually be enough to really stress someone out...but all three of them together in one week....it's just too much. The Perfect Storm.

I'd like to say that I'm pretty good with stress management. I don't freak out too often. But this week is pushing my limits...
but I can't give up. I was not made a quitter.

Keep going, Ashley. Onward.

Okay...things are looking up. I did a lot of research today and I wrote the introductory paragraph. And I practiced for an hour.

It's okay. It's going to be allright.

Guys, I don't know what I am going to do. I have no time. My jury is today, and my recital is in a week. I have a research paper due on Friday that I haven't even chosen a topic for, and I have Into the Woods for four hours every day this week. In addition to all my other classes and committments.

I trust that everything will work out for the best in the end (it always does), but I am not living in the end, I am living in the present, and in the present I am not getting done what needs to get done.

I just don't know what I am going to do.

Oh man. It's not even funny how much work I have to do. This history paper is plauging me. I mean, I've been working the whole day (on a Saturday!), no social time or wasted time, and I still feel like I didn't get anything done. I don't have time. It's really not funny.

Why am I still at home. Why did I do absolutely nothing for four hours today. Why. Why am I not using question marks.

Waking up at 7:10 and thinking to yourself, "I must have set my alarm by mistake--it's Saturday" is not a good way to start out a Friday.

Shívna

?

There is a little tiny person inside of my abdomen. And he has a chainsaw. And really wants to get out and see the world. And he is trying his hardest to make me think that he is only a normal bodily function. But I know the truth...

I am a mess.

(This is a trough, and the only way to go is up.)

I am so happy right now.

I love these guys.

POULENC!!! WOOOO!!!!

I love people.
I'm a people person.

Today was one of those rare extremely difficult days in life. One of those days where you have to wonder...why me?

I don't want to go into detail. Lots of very good things happened, but a few things happened that made me want to cry. And the good and the bad took turns throughout the day.
But the day ended with beautiful music, delicious food, and wonderful company, and for a little while I forgot all of the bad of the day. It seeped out of me through the laughter, which is always a sure cure for a bad day.

Good music, good food, and good company: those three things always make a soul feel better (especially the last one).

So all in all...it wasn't that bad. Everything happens for a reason. He works in mysterious (and not always easy) ways. I trust.

Ich möchte um mich schlagen, aber ich weiß, daß ich nicht sollte. Es ist nicht die christliche Sache, zum zu tun.

Matthew 12:36
"I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken."

We all judge very harshly sometimes. We all do it, so don't go thinking that you don't apply. We throw words around like they are nothing, careless words, even when we don't even know people. We throw words around like they can't hurt people, but you know what? Words can hurt people. Words can break people.

I judge too harshly.

I posted this back in the day, but I think it's about time for a seldom-used reposting:

"If Only We Understood"
by Rudyard Kipling

Could we but draw back the curtains
That surround each other's lives,
See the naked heart and spirit,
Know what spur the action gives;

Often we should find it better,
Purer than we judge we should;
We should love each other better,
If only we understood.

Could we judge all deeds by motives,
See the good and bad within,
Often we should love the sinner
All the while we loathe the sin;

Could we know the powers working
To overthrow integrity,
We should love each other's errors
With more patient charity.

If we knew the cares and trials,
Knew the efforts all in vain,
And the bitter disappointment,
understood the loss and gain--

Would the grim eternal roughness
Seem--I wonder--just the same?
Should we help where now we hinder,
Should we pity where now we blame.

Ah! we judge each other harshly,
Knowing not life's hidden force;
Knowing not the fount of action
Is less turbid at its source--

Seeing not amid the evil
All the golden grain of good;
And we should love each other better
If only we understood.

Today's the day! Go out there and get em'!!

Chopin is not making a good impression on me. His music makes no sense analytically and I will probably never be able to play it. Why, Chopin, why?

www.zerogravitybed.com

They sell $9,000 beds.

Wow, I really don't write in here as often as I used to, huh? Two possibilities:
1) I have nothing to say
2) I don't have time

Probably a little bit of both. Life has been CRAZY lately. I use every minute of the day, and still I have been forced to cut down on practice. But I'm still healthy, which means that my stress level is manageable, and I don't think my playing has suffered too much--I still PLAY a lot (in ensembles, lessons, piano rehearsals, recording sessions, etc.), I'm just not practicing as much as I would like.

I think it's funny how most of my posts end up on the topic of pratice. You know, when I was growing up I never imagined I would be a musician. I wanted to be any number of things, depending on the season: a writer, an artist, a reporter, an actress, a teacher, a small bussiness owner, a camera technician...but never a musician. Funny how things work out. Sometimes I wonder if the musician idea was in season when I had to decide and that's why I'm pursuing music and not something else.

But seriously, I do love it.

Flying to Las Vegas, I sat next to these two guys on the plane. Theirs is a long (and quite humorous) story, but I eventually found out that they were going to Las Vegas for a mattress convention. That only sounds incredibly funny until I realize that I go to flute conventions all the time. Anyway, these guys were mattress salemen (for ZeroGravity mattresses, I told them I'd tell all my friends about it and now I'm keeping my word). They said that one of their celebrity endorsements was a famous retired baseball player, and he had the most laid back attitude of anyone they had met.

"He never worked a day in his life. He played baseball in high school and then in college...and then he played baseball for a living."

These hard-working business men couldn't comprehend such a life, doing something that you love for a living. Certainly they didn't dream about selling mattresses in childhood.
I told them that I was going to Las Vegas for a symphony orchestra music festival, that my major in school was music.

"Stay with that," they said, "and work hard. Maybe you can turn out like our baseball friend. Never work a day in your life."

This Thursday night:
-emergency/dress rehearsal for Poulenc Palooza
-The Office!
-the first Yankees playoff game
-the night before big tests in two of my classes

Oops.

Manchmal bin ich so faul. Jetzt, zum Beispiel...

They did it! They did it! They're in the playoffs! I can't believe it! 14 games behind! Unbelieveable!

I have frequent dreams about horseback riding, even though I have only gone once in my life.

I also have frequent nightmares about driving, and my brakes don't work when I am in reverse. The brakes just make me go FASTER. I hate those dreams. I feel so out of control of the situation. And I always run into things.

I am so fabulously ready right now.
Ready for what, you ask?
Ready to take on the world.
Ashley vs. World.

Kay guys. I don't want to be a pirate, a ninja, a sith, a jedi, a hobo, a werewolf, or a vampire. I don't want a fluffy friend, a unicorn, an aquarium, a garden, or a zoo. Not on facebook at least.

I used to really like rain and storms.

Then I entered college, where the walkways aren't covered and I don't drive to school.

I don't like rain anymore.

I like the changes that have been made in my life this semester.
I like the new people I have met in my classes.
I feel healthy, happy, and most of all...balanced.

There has been a virus going around the school, but something inside of me (or outside of me) does not want to accept that.
Way to go, immune system. This is your best performance so far.

I think I only get sick when I am very stressed out.

Life, you've been treating me pretty well lately. No complaints here.

Come on, now. Nobody told me that Le Merle Noir was going to be so hard. Jose made it sound easy.

I never liked that Messaien...

Man, sometimes you just gotta sit back and think about how sweet life is. God gave us music! MUSIC! Really, He didn't have to do that. But now we have something to raise our spirits, comfort our sorrows, calm the soul, or praise. Or a million different things. Thanks to God.

I complain way too much. I should stop.

You should too.

On watching my conducting video, I noticed that even when standing on the podium with heels, I am shorter than Dr. J.
Nice.

Ashley on the move!
Oh man, this recording organization is getting out of hand.

My accompanist (one of them) said this to me today:
"Your sound is glorious! I don't even know how else to describe it. It's just...glorious!"

Musicians need moments like that. I appreciate it.

I am juggling a lot of things right now, but somehow it hasn't managed to stress me out...yet. I think it's because of friends and The Office.

I am preparing for nine different competitions/masterclasses.

Professor Amsler is a crazy lady, yes, but we discovered tonight that she just might not be as crazy as we all think.

I still say we're takin' the division.

WHAT THE HECK CHOPIN

9/6
Heute war ein guten Tag. Ich habe die Flöte in dem Orchester gespielt. Ich habe auch die neue Jahrezeit von The Office gesehen. Die war lustig, und meine Freunde und ich haben viel gelacht.

9/7
Heute ist Freitag! Mein Freund hat mir das Abendessen gekauft. Es ist unser Jahrestag von sechs Monaten. Wir haben das Hähnchen gegessen.

9/8
Heute, hat unsere Fußballmannschaft gespielt. Sie haben gewonnen! Ich habe viele Heimarbeit und Hausarbeit gemacht.

9/9
Heute Morgen bin ich zur Kirche gegangen. Später, habe ich geschwommen. Ich habe auch die Musik zugehört.

9/10
Heute war ein langer Tag! Ich habe zwei Quizen gehabt. An einem Quiz, habe ich gut gemacht, aber am Anderen, habe ich schlecht gemacht. Ich habe aber gut geschlafen.

9/11
Heute, habe ich ein Schokolade Milchshake getrunken. Danach, habe ich ein Lied über Milchshaken gesungen. Dann, havbe ich gelacht.

9/12
Es hat heute geregnet, aber ich bin trocken geblieben. Zu Hause, habe ich für den Plauderai vorbereitet. Ich habe auch ein Raumschiff geflogen.

Sometimes you look at the situation of others in this world, people just as good and worthy (or more so) as you, and you have to wonder how you could possibly be so selfish.

My relationship with my flute is kind of strange.

I hate it and I love it.
I hate it because I have to practice.
I have to practice because I love it.

(Not that I hate or even dislike practice; I just don't like that it takes so much time.)

I know that I talk about practice a lot. It's because I spend 1/8 of my life doing it. People notice this from time to time, usually when I can't do things with them. But the person who always notices it the most is me.

I'm finally doing it, I'm finally getting more involved with RUF. Yay! What a blessing this can be in my life...

The Office Jarezeit Drei...SWEEET!

UHBS=Unusually Heavy Backpack Syndrome

Oh, and they also locked all the doors and didn't activate the swipe entrace, so the only way to enter the practice hall was to knock until somebody opened it or prop the doors, which they just sent an email telling us not to do.

I'm wondering how the first person got in to let everybody else in.

They turned off the air conditioning in the practice halls.

Discourging practicing in your music students.
Way to go, FSU.

Sunsets are beautiful, but they can be sad. The light is traveling elsewhere...no longer where you are...but it is needed where it is going. Sunsets are neccessary, and they happen every day.

I used to not like friends, but now I do.
Not the t.v. show, but actual friends.
They can help you.
And make you laugh.
And you can tell them secrets, and you know that they won't tell anybody else.
They will support your decisions and understand you.
That's why I like friends.

Thank you, friends.

P.S. PLATES

After searching for years for something external to compare to Martin's Ballade, I have found it: the Zahir. An object that, once you look at it, even from afar, gradually consumes all your thoughts so that you grow unable to think about anything else. Eventually this drives one to insanity...one can no longer seperate reality from the zahir. This is the story of the Ballade.

The mind of the undecided
Like a seesaw
From side to side
Never resting in balance