Update: End of day 1... I don't feel like I'm winning anymore.

Gig--->work--->teaching--->frisbee
every day this week! I feel like I'm winning.

Mojo the cat is amazing. I don't speak his language, and he doesn't speak mine, yet we are still able to communicate love to each other.

I made it onto the co-ed ultimate club team I tried out for! It's called Del Sol and is (obviously) in Phoenix, Arizona. I have been working pretty hard to be the best I can be on the field. Health! I have been trying to work out (work out? what? yes!) and eat a little better. I have realized that there are a lot of small easy changes I can make, like low-fat yogurt instead of full fat, frozen yogurt instead of ice cream, wheat bread instead of white bread, more fruit, and cutting down on sweets (especially at night!). My new favorite thing is Carnation Instant Breakfast, which takes about a minute to consume and is as filling as a normal snack. And! Despite how much sugar it has, I feel good after drinking it (physically good, as opposed to mentally good.)

Anyway, I'm pretty excited to be playing on an actual team for the first time ever. I've seen both sides of club teams: on Spitfire (Phx women's team), we were all practice and no competition; on Mooseknuckle (Orlando mixed team), we were all competition and no practice. Neither team ever had a tryout or made cuts or had anything resembling a set roster, or had any type of a goal (well, Moosknuckle did have a goal at one point, but that story is for another day). Del Sol, in that way, will be the first "real" team. Each person has his role, and I'll work hard to play my part well--not for myself, but for the good of the team. We'll be a group of people, working together for a common goal. And that's pretty cool.

A: What should I have for dinner tonight?
P: I don't know... cookies?

Wellp, it's the time of year when I fear to look up the weather forecast because it will just tell me that I am going to sweat, burn my skin off, and probably die of heat exhaustion. Hey! It's midnight and 95 degrees. Phoenix, yeehaw!

::tumbleweed rolls by::

First day at work today, a cute little old lady came in wanting sheet music for a song she used to sing "back in the day." When the time came, I asked her how she wanted to pay, and without skipping a beat, she retorts, "with MONEY?"

lol.

News: I bought a car today. Tomorrow is my first day of my new job. GROWN UP STUFF.

Meanwhile, funny story from this weekend:
Paul and I went to the symphony on Sunday.  Phoenix Symphony Hall is right next to the convention center.  On our way there, I remembered that this weekend, the Phoenix Convention Center is hosting Arizona Comicon.

After the symphony performance, the hall emptied, and there were large numbers of symphony patrons, who generally look like this:

(albeit not so happy)

Interspersed with Comicon patrons, who generally look like this:

It probably does not need to be said just how amusing this was to Paul and me. We made up a game, called "Symphony or Comicon?" in which we would guess whether the people we passed were leaving the symphony performance or walking around for Comicon.

It was usually pretty easy to tell.

Aaaaaand celebrating by splitting a bottle of champagne between two people leads to massive day-long hangovers. Lesson learned.

So after 23 days, 42 applications, four interviews, and two rejections, I got a job! I have officially accepted a job at The Music Store in the sheet music department.

"But weren't you already working at The Music Store?" you ask.

No, I was working THROUGH The Music Store. I give them rent, they direct flute students my way and let me teach in their studios. It was a laissez-faire system which worked for both parties. I will still retain this job, and one of the good parts about officially working there is that they are totally willing to work around my lessons.

The best part of the job, though, is that I have a future with the company.  The sheet music manager is going back to school this year and will be leaving her job; The Music Store hired me with the intention of grooming me as a replacement. Her job is in the morning, Monday through Friday, and with much higher pay. No weekends. Perfect, perfect, perfect.  So within a year, I can expect that if everything goes according to plan, I will have that job!

They also understand that their employees are musicians and want to take gigs, so they are totally okay with me asking off certain days so I can go play my flute for money.

It seems like a really, really good deal for me, one that has the flexibility to allow me to perform, teach, and have a social life.  With potential to be long-term. It's not a 9-5 job, but I knew that as a musician, I would likely never have a 9-5 job. I'm okay with that. I think I will be happy working there, they are a great company owned by some really nice people.

Happy times! I am going to drink some champagne tonight :)

This song brings back memories... my first introduction to Michael Jackson. I knew I always had good taste, this is actually a really good song! I like the switch to gospel choir instrumentation at the first modulation. So epic! Give it a listen.

I love the way my kitty slowly and carefully walks towards me when I lay down to go to sleep at night. How cute he looks when he is playing. How he purrs ALL the time (sometimes for no reason). How he always walks up to greet me whenever I come home. How he follows me around the apartment and looks up at me with his cute little kitty eyes.

Man, I love this cat.

Correction: make that 32 job applications, and two interviews! woo!

Correction: apparently, 80% of jobs are not advertised. Wow!!!

Job searching is actually pretty fun. I have never really looked for a job before, so it's kind of astounding to me how many there are out there, just waiting to be filled. It's like a game, to find the best job for you. To try to think about the different factors: how much does it pay? what are the hours? how far away is it? what kind of work will you be doing? who will you be working with? I know that it is unlikely that I will find a job with the perfect answers in all of these categories, but it's fun to dream.

I have applied to 30 jobs in the past two weeks, and I've gotten a call from just one! Although there are some recent ones I think I have a good chance for. I heard once that some crazy number, like 60% or something, of jobs that people get are not advertised. It makes me wonder how political getting a job can be. My first job at the Cracker Barrel was a bottom-of-the-barrel job, minimum wage for high schoolers. But it wasn't advertised. I got it simply by walking in and hoping there would be a job for me. My second job, working at the Health Department, was not advertised either. It was a position created especially for me, because I had connections. My current job, teaching flute lessons, I found through word of mouth. Not advertised.

I there may be a job being created for me as I type this. It's two parts exciting, one part scary, to enter a new phase of my life: the working phase.

Pieces I performed at ASU's graduate commencement ceremony this morning:

Pomp and Circumstance
Star Spangled Banner
Fanfares
Alma Mater
Coronation March

and then...
Raise Your Glass
RESPECT
Poker Face
We Will Rock You
Hey Ya
Don't Stop Believin'

For marching band.

It strikes me as funny sometimes when I hear "he/she is such a talented musician" when that person has dedicated the past 15+ years of their life to playing music. No, likely he or she is not an especially talented musician, but when you spend that much time perfecting your art, yeah, you get pretty good at it.
Sometimes people expect to pick up something new and be good at it right away, and then be disappointed that it actually takes work to be really, really good at something.
Sometimes my students will be amazed at examples I play when I teach lessons. "How do you DO that?" It's not magic... I've just been playing longer than you have been alive.

I think we need to remember that from time to time. Being "good at something" usually takes time and practice. It applies to everything from cooking to Rock Band.

Well, this hasn't been the best weekend in my life.

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the wingèd life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sunrise.

Also, happy Easter!

I've pretty much forgotten what it is like to breathe normally.

I'm pregnant lawlz.

My allergies are tying to kill me.

I guess I'm 25 now.

Hey! Listen to this song. I know Disney has made some really, really great songs in their day. Beauty and the Beast. Circle of Life. Colors of the Wind. Under the Sea. A Whole New World... the list could go on for ages. But this one? For me, this one just might take the cake. Seeing as it's 1am and I am still bopping around in my desk chair dancing to it.

I sure have dreams about Juilliard a lot for only having been there once.

And riding my bike around the city. What's with that?

One of those days

This is for all you girls about twenty five,
In little apartments just tryin' to get by,
Livin' on on dreams and spaghetti-o's,
Wonderin' where your life is gonna go.

Even though I kind of hate this song, it's funny how well she knows me. I had to smile when I heard it today.

I get Mojo kitty back for at least one week. He is the best, simply the best!

Hold on to sixteen as long as you can
Changes come around real soon
Make us women and men

Diglett dig
Diglett dig
TRIO TRIO TRIO

So yesterday's recital performance kind of blew all my others out of the water.

Missed it? Oh, you can see it here. Technology!

Frank Martin's Ballade is still probably my favorite piece to play on the flute. It's oppression, it's frustration, it's anger, it's uncertainty. There is even a hint of bittersweet reminiscence in it. All that, we go through all of that, yet the very last chord... it's EM. (that's a happy chord, for you non-musicians out there). We can go through all of that an still end up with happiness.

(starts at 40:20 if you would like a listen)

I'm pretty sure the clarinetist in a nearby practice room is musically mocking the pianist in a nearby practice room. Funny things!

Also, (yesterday), happy leap day and (today) happy March!

14 hour days are exhausting. But! I am doing what I love. And that's pretty cool.

Headz Up ad by SNL.

(funny and sad. I have written about this before.)

It really is amazing how music is linked to memory. I just stumbled upon a song which brings back the sweetest, sweetest, time of my life, a time when my life was a fairy tale, when nothing could bring me down. My first time falling in love. I can feel it, I can smell it, I can remember how everything was beautiful, how I walked around with a constant grin plastered to my face because I was just so dang happy. I truly believed that I was the luckiest, happiest girl in the world. I knew it was happening when it was happening, and for that I am thankful.

The song is, incidentally, is "Love Changes Everything," an orchestral arrangement by the Boston Pops. My very first encounter with musical bliss.

I can't believe it has been ten years.

(Sometimes I work as hard as I say I do. But most of the time, not really).

Confession: Someone in the Biggest Loser this week ate 18 peanut butter cups. Despite everyone say that that was disgusting, it made me jealous. They looked so good...

Confession: I wrote an anger email today :(

Confession: I don't work as hard as I say I do.

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Here's a song that I used to sing in RUF while at Florida State. It's still one of my favorites:
O Love That Will Not Let Me Go

There's nothing like a good peanut butter cup.

Period weeks are stupid.

February in Phoenix is awesome! Beautiful day after beautiful day... makes me wish I had an outdoor job! At least my hobby is outdoors.

Also, the day has come. There is a girl on The Bachelor who is my age. :(

Intoducing the FABULOUS spring league 2012 team... HAMMER OF DOOM!

Guys:
Dan Alexander
Peter Anderegg
Darren Bateman
Kyle Cotner
Adam Eklund
Shawn Fink
Sam Levenberg
Stan Marks
Paul Otto
John Peterson
Jeff Shelton
Nick Simonelli
 
Girls:
Tina Byun
Kim Hamm
Michelle Kauffman
Ashley Stahl
Cassie Waz

I can't guarantee a championship, BUT... I have a really good feeling about this one! Plus we managed to get Sam, who has a magical ability to WIN.

Looking through my planner, I see something odd. A blank week. Nothing at all planned from Monday Feb. 6th through Sunday Feb. 12. How can this be? I'm sure it will not be for long... but it sure is welcome at the moment!

Yes, I'm still alive.

Yes. C#5 is sharp and C#6 is flat. WHUT.

Also, I love cats.

One of my students sold me girl scout cookies. I don't know why, but there is something very sweet about that.

I have lived too long following the path expected of me. Done what other people want, what they think is best for me. And I have ignored what actually makes me happy. What do I want out of life? What I want does not always correspond with what my parents want, or what my teachers want, or what is generally expected of me. Too long I have followed the beaten path, just moseyed along doing what "they" expect, because it is the easy choice which pleases everyone. No more.

My New Years resolution this year is to live my life by my own rules. It's time to tighten the reins and take charge of the life which is my own.

Days like this make me regret that flute is an indoor animal!

It's another year of change for me. 2000: I quit gymnastics, receive confirmation, and have back surgery. 2005: I graduate high school, get my first job, and move away to college. 2009: I play in my first ultimate league, move to Arizona, and meet my boyfriend of two years. And 2012...

Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light;
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring out the grief that saps the mind,
For those that here we see no more,
Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.

Ring out a slowly dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife;
Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.

Ring out the want, the care the sin,
The faithless coldness of the times;
Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes,
But ring the fuller minstrel in.

Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.

Ring out old shapes of foul disease,
Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;
Ring out the thousand wars of old,
Ring in the thousand years of peace.

Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkness of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be.  


-Alfred Lord Tennyson

The world is beautiful full of inspiration just waiting to be released... all you have to do is look! The value of the arts has never been higher. Believe!

Merry Christmas!!!

Mom: "Ash?"
Me: "What?"
Mom: (walking into my room holding a fruit): "Do you have any idea what kind of fruit this is?"
Me: "No..."
Mom: (examines the fruit): "I'm going to throw it out."

Life is good.

Let me just take a second to tell you a little about a company that I love: Southwest Airlines.

1) They consistently have competitively low prices on flights to MCO and PHX.
2) They do not charge for two check-in bags.
3) They have a great cancellation process--if you need to cancel or change a flight, you get a full refund to use towards another flight. (Trip insurance? What is that? I fly Southwest Airlines.)
4) The cancellation and the use of the refunded money is a very easy process.
5) I missed my flight yesterday. They got me standby on a flight that left an hour and a half later--at NO. CHARGE. I repeat. I missed my flight and was able to get on a different one AT NO CHARGE.

I almost want to say that I will never fly another airline, but that's probably not true. But if I had money to invest... I would probably buy stock in this company.

Pretty winter song, in celebration of my first Christmas party of the year.

I'm getting a new flute case for Christmas!

Also, I like frisbee!
(and girlfriends, and bakies, and Bailey's, and hot chocolate. and winning.)

Wellp, my semester has pretty much come to a close. I am happy with what I have accomplished in my first semester as a doctoral student--I really have learned a lot in my always-frenzied state, and I am ready for a short break.

However, I am SO EXCITED for next semester, specifically for my personal recital. It is Tuesday, March 6th at 5:00, and I am just bursting at the seams about being able to play a piece that I have wanted to play for AGES now--Vox Balaenae (The Voice of the Whale), by George Crumb. And get this--not only am I going to be able to play it, but I have tricked the principal cellist of the Phoenix Symphony to play with me!!! (He's a friend of mine, we happen to play ultimate together. Lucky chance! Don't tell me that ultimate never helped my music career).

I have planned the rest of my program around this as a theme, the theme of the relationship between humans and Earth/nature, and the mysterious quality of that relationship. The music will be calm, serene, and pondering sometimes, stormy, aggressive and angry at others, and at all times mysterious.

Delaney "...and the strange and unknown flowers..."
Hovhaness Garden of Adonis
Martin Ballade
Schwanter Black Anenomes
Clarke Touching the Ether
Crumb Vox Balaenae

So mark your calendars now, because this is going to be epic. Epic, I say!

I played my recital! I "pulled it off...but just barely" (in the words of a friend). Wait, are friends supposed to say things like that after recitals? No matter, I am very happy with how it went, considering how stressed out I was about it in the last 5 or so weeks. Actually, it's the best recital I've ever played before, which should seem obvious, because I am always improving, but if you only knew how unprepared I was a few short weeks ago....

I didn't invite many people, because I was so worried that I wouldn't provide an accurate representation of my best playing. The audience consisted of my ASU flute studio (about 15 college students), my teacher, my boyfriend, and my mom. Probably less than 20 people total. It's almost a shame that I put so much into the music today, to be enjoyed by so few people. I shouldn't be so scared of failure. In the end, it was fine, more than fine! And the only place to fall is into God's hands.

Anyhow, I am exhausted. It is time for big sleep. Good night, world.

My first doctoral recital is tomorrow. Faure, Saint-Saens, Reinecke, Halffter, Schulhoff, and Jolivet, oh my! Big money, big money, big money...

Some days, I really just think that this life is too stressful.

"Good morning," said the little prince.
"Good morning," said the railway switchman.
"What is it that you do here?" asked the prince.
"I sort out travelers into bundles of a thousand," the switchman said. "I dispatch the trains that carry them, sometimes to the right, sometimes to the left."
And a brightly lit express train, roaring like thunder, shook the switchman's cabin.
"What a hurry they're in," said the little prince. "What are they looking for?"
"Not even the engineer on the locomotive knows," the switchman said. 
And another brightly lit express train thundered by in the opposite direction.
"Are they coming back already?" asked the little prince.
"It's not the same ones," the switchman said. "It's an exchange."
"They weren't satisfied, where they were?" asked the little prince.
"No one is ever satisfied where he is," the switchman said. 
And a third brightly lit express train thundered by. 
"Are they chasing the first travelers?" asked the little prince.
"They're not chasing anything," the switchman said. "They're sleeping in there, or else they're yawning. Only the children are pressing their noses against the windowpanes."
"Only the children know what they're looking for," said the little prince. "They spend their time on a rag doll and it becomes very important, and if it's taken away from them, they cry..."
"They're lucky," the switchman said.

Another wonderful Thanksgiving with the family. I am thankful for a family that doesn't just get along, but who actually likes each other! And especially this year for the good health of all.

Afterwards I went with my parents and Craig to the new Muppet movie. Man, that brought back memories! It also made me laugh harder than I have laughed in a very long time. Wakka. Wakka. My favorite song in the movie was Cee Lo sung by chickens. Here it is. The Muppets originally aired when my parents were closer to my age, but in my early years (back in NY), I had videos of the shows that I would watch over and over and over and over. Something about those characters reminds me of childhood, a place where everything is new and magical and special.

I feel like America has a soft spot for the Muppets. Maybe it's just my generation... or maybe it's just me. I love Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Beaker, the Swedish Chef, Sam the Eagle, and all the others. I'm a fan!

Some news (with accompanying photos):

-My league team, "The Isobars" got second place in league this season. I should be upset that we lost in finals by one point, but in reality I am simply out-of-my-mind excited to have played in finals at all.

 -I had to give my kitty-on-loan back. :( I miss him already.

-I bought a pretty sweet hat.

-One of my students won first place in a flute competition!

-My car hit 200,000 miles. It's only a 2001 model!

-My grandma was back in the hospital for a overnight, but she is back home now. Prayer on this matter would be nice!

-Thanksgiving is this week, and I will be back in Florida in less than 48 hours!

This week is going to be crazy talk.

(aka, I am going to talk crazy because my head is about to explode.)

Band concert tonight. Lovely music and piccolo that made my ears hurt. I both love and hate piccolo. It's kind of like candy in that way. I immensely enjoy them, but they are both bad for my health. Also, the first time in my life when a composer has shaken my hand after his piece. Yeah! Milestones!

THEN. Speeding to the Isobars game. I played two points and scored two points. That's the first time in my life where I've had a 100% scoring rate!

There is a kitty in my apartment right now.

Loving life right now!

I have four living grandparents. They are all in relatively good health--they still walk around, make food, live by themselves--all the things expected of a normal independent couple. As if this is not blessing enough, they all live within a mile of my house in Florida. Walking distance! They are friends--my grandmas go garage saleling together, they play cards, watch sports, gossip. I get to see them a lot when I am at home, but obviously, not so much when I am in Arizona.

They're all very loving, and have unique personalities. I love them all, and it is very interesting to try to figure out from whom I have inherited my personality traits and appearance. I have my maternal grandmother's eyes but the Stahl nose. The shortness came from my mom's side and the thinness came from the Stahl side.

Today one of my grandmas had heart surgery. She has a strong family history of heart disease, and it scares me that she, who is possibly the healthiest of all four, would require this surgery. The procedure apparently is common and not very dangerous, but she had some unusual complications afterwards.

My mom called me and told me about these complications today, and once I hung up, I just started crying. I always knew that my grandparents were getting old, but I have never truly faced the reality of losing one of them. That thought just makes the tears well up all over again.

I am considering moving back to Florida next year, and being able to see my grandparents would be high among the reasons why. They aren't going to live forever. I should be there with them.

I haven't really written in a while. So world, I'm still alive, haha.

Friends Danny and Erin are in town visiting, and tomorrow we are headed to the Grand Canyon! It's so cool that when I live here, I can just head to the Grand Canyon whenever I want like it ain't no thang.

So much performing lately, but I am lovin' it. I wish life could be these endless days of rehearsals and practice and endless nights of performances.

Isobars are still on a hot streak. 5-1 now!

Trust in God.

This is the first week since I have been back when Phoenix hasn't been excessively hot. I've flung open my windows, opened the blinds, and am currently enjoying the sweet 75 degree naturalness. It's hard to be in a bad mood with such a welcome change as this.

I'm traveling to Flagstaff this weekend to play some ultimate. It's going to be fun! Apparently it snowed there last night, so I'm thinking that this cold (actually cold) weather may be quite a shock to my system, as today has been one of the first under-90 days we've had for many moons.

I love warm weather, don't get me wrong. But there's something kind of magical about coolness in the air. It feels better to be with other people, somehow...

I had to ask a Wal-Mart worker to reach an item for me today.

Tallness fail.

Yankees win 10-1
Diamondbacks win 8-1
The Isobars win 12-7

A good night :)

When I am at home, working at the Health Department, I do a lot of alphabetizing. I get to know the alphabet very well. In fact, I start to have feelings about certain letters. For example, A is the leader of the letters. Assertive, adult, American. B isn't one of my favorite letters. Boys. Bugs. Brown. Beaten. Butts. As soon as you start to think crazy thoughts like this, like letters actually have personalities, it starts to make sense...:

C: cool, chill, creative
D: driven, dad, determined
E: eccentric, exciting, evocative
F: freedom, flaming, flagrant
G: gauche, gentle, girly
H: happy, healthy, hearty

Well I just got bored with writing this post so I guess we will end at H.

(When you're in a room by yourself with thousands of files, you have a lot of time to think about stupid things like this.)

Hey world. I can whistle!

I've had some pretty bad homesickness this semester. Why would I search for photos of the Cocoa Beach pier? I don't know, but it makes me miss it like woah.

 I miss it most at night. So peaceful and mysterious. What here can compare?

There has fallen a splendid tear
From the passion-flower at the gate.
She is coming, my dove, my dear;
She is coming, my life, my fate;
The red rose cries, "She is near, she is near;"
And the white rose weeps, "She is late;"
The larkspur listens, "I hear, I hear;"
And the lily whispers, "I wait."

She is coming, my own, my sweet;
Were it ever so airy a tread,
My heart would hear her and beat,
Were it earth in an earthy bed;
My dust would hear her and beat,
Had I lain for a century dead;
Would start and tremble under her feet,
And blossom in purple and red.

I had a TON of fun with Spitfire at sectionals today. A TON IS A LOT OF WEIGHT, GUYS.

I lived in Buffalo for 7 years of my life, but they were the first 7 years so I don't really remember what the freezing cold winters were really like. But I have heard many stores about very long winters, snow every day, cold that seems to last forever. Then suddenly one day the temperature will rise to about 50, and everyone will celebrate by walking around in shorts and tshirts. In normal circumstances, 50 degrees is much, much, much too cold to walk around in shorts. But given that the cold lasted for so long, people are eager to celebrate any small victory, and temperature that is not freezing (literally).

Here in Phoenix, we have the opposite problem.  The highs have been above 105 every day since I have moved back from Florida. For much of the time, they were above 110. There was a day when--I kid you not--I rode my bike to school in 117 degree weather.

It is about 5:45 PM right now, and it is a lovely, sweet 92 degrees. I have turned my air off, opened my windows, and am attempting to meditate on the small delicacies that life gives us. A high below 100 degrees... the opportunity to open my windows without getting heatstroke... these are the things that Phoenixian do not take for granted.

I have been thinking about getting a kitten for a while now. I've always wanted one and this is about the only time in my life when I have actually been able to get one. I went to the Humane Society today, not to adopt one, but just to look, sort of get an idea of what I am getting myself into. I looked at many doggies and many kittens, and I got to play with a few! When I first got there, they made me very happy. But the longer I was there, the more sad they made me. The doggies were the worst. They look at you with their big sad puppydog eyes and whine, and you just want them to have a good home, and they just want some love...

Whenever I walked over to a nice dog, he would get super excited that I was there, and he would lick my hand and wag his tail, and basically show me that he appreciated me. He would be sad when I walked away, and he would watch me from his cage for as long as possible.

These dogs don't care who you are, where you came from, what degrees you have or how attractive you are. They love everyone. They don't judge. As long as you give them attention, they will love you. The love is unconditional. I wish people were like dogs in this way.

Life: throwing me curveballs since 1987.

Video games are fun, especially if you play them with other people. But if you turn down the chance to go on a date, or interact with other people, or make connections with your fellow human beings so you can play a video game in a room by yourself, please examine yourself. As people grow up they learn what the important things in life are.

Adolescent boys spend hour upon hour upon hour playing video games, often by themselves. I have to admit that at one point, I was there too. These games swiftly become the most important things in our lives. We get wrapped up in the goals of the game, forgetting completely that these goals have NO bearing on real life whatsoever. Sadly, some of people never grow out of this phase. It's okay to still enjoy video games and to still think that they are fun. I do. But PEOPLE are what make life worth living. It saddens me that some full-grown adults are so deluded that they think video games should take precedence over real relationships. At some point you will have to grow up and face reality.

On that note, I want to admit something: I don't have a smartphone. I have never played angry birds or words with friends. I don't even have a keypad on my phone, so while I can text, I can't text as fast as others. Yes, I am behind the times. But being different from everyone in that respect gives me a unique perspective. And my perspective is that I HATE what smartphones have done to society. I hate them. I hate talking to someone while they are texting someone else. I hate feeling like I am competing with a stupid game which, again, has absolutely no bearing on real life, for attention. I hate trying to interact with a friend who is sitting next to me, reading an article on his phone. And most of all, I hate that people can't see this themselves and don't even know what they are doing when they are doing it.

I'm not the only person who feels this way. Every time I have to compete with a smartphone for someone's attention, I feel very, very sad, because I don't see this changing. In most situations, I have no problem saying, "HEY. YOU'RE BEING RUDE." I know that a lot of my friends have heard this from me.

(One note: I'm no angel here either. I text in my friend's company. But since the smartphone revolution, I have realized the implications of doing this, and I now try to keep it at a minimum. Watch yourself.)

So do me a favor, readers. Don't forget the value of a human relationship. Is playing that game really worth making someone feel that they are second-place for your attention?

I just received an Amazon order in which I ordered an Owl City CD on a whim. Sure, I like one of their songs, why not try some more? I got it today, and.... I am so happy! I love this music! I can't help but smile when I hear it. Put these guys on my list of favorite bands, stat!

Here's a sample.

I am lucky to be playing the flute. If I played oboe or bassoon, or even tuba or percussion or viola or a number of other instruments... I don't know where I would find any students. But little girls LOVE the flute, and they make up pretty much the entire population of my students. Thanks, flute-loving girls!

It's a dilemma when I don't want to stop listening to music to play music. Why did I pick the Beach Boys this morning? Barbara Ann is just so catchy! They just don't make music like they used to.

It's definitely a skill to be able to teach, to tell someone what they need to work on without making them feel less than adequate. Teachers, remember to celebrate the small accomplishments of your students. Remember to precede suggestions with at least one comment about something they did well or something that has improved. Students need both positive and negative feedback, because confidence is an important part of the learning process. When a student believes that he can improve, it is powerful motivation.  If he doesn't believe he can improve, he will end up thinking, "What is the point in trying?"

Be careful. Students aren't robots. They need ENCOURAGEMENT and an UPLIFTING ATMOSPHERE as much as they need DIRECTION.

A short list of things I don't like:

-bad auditions
-ASU whenever they have to process paperwork
-riding my bike in 111 degree weather
-PMS

I had a great round of lessons today! It is wonderful to come into a lesson and hear your students able to do things that they couldn't do the last week, to hear them exclaim excitedly "it's working! I can do it now!," to see their eyes light up when a slightly altered fingering can help them play better, and see that their knowledge of music theory is far beyond their peers. It's very rewarding, and it's an affirmation that I am doing something right as a teacher. I have grown so much as a teacher over these past two years, and I am of course still learning.  Now I am taking on some very dedicated, quality students, and I am excited about molding them into awesome musicians. I just wish that every day of teaching was like today!

I don't know exactly why, but I really seem to be able to interact with, befriend, and tolerate men much more than women. I do have a few close female friends, but I can count the number on one hand. The large majority of my friends are male. Maybe it's because I grew up with a brother, and I only learned how to interact socially with his type. Maybe it's because I have one or two interests which are typically "male." I don't know the exact reason, but for the past three years, I have mostly found the male to female ratio in my presence alarming. I can identify with the cries of single men around the world... "where/how do you meet women??" Beats me, guys.

Also, the concept of a bar as a place to meet people with which to engage in romance just boggles my mind.

Okay, I am procrastinating sleep. I'm so tired during the day. Why do I feel the need to elude sleep now? The world may never know. (Owl: "and a-ohone! and a-twho!" Crack!).

Okay, sleep time. For realzies.

Butterflies are white and blue
In this field we wander through.
Suffer me to take your hand.
Death comes in a day or two.

All the things we ever knew
Will be ashes in that hour,
Mark the transient butterfly,
How he hangs upon the flower.

Suffer me to take your hand.
Suffer me to cherish you
Till the dawn is in the sky.
Whether I be false or true,
Death comes in a day or two.

Wow. What an incredible week in Prescott, Arizona. Teaching, laughing, music, and new friends. It doesn't get any better than that.

I don't think there is only "one right path" in each of our lives.

My whole life, I have been thinking that I am "doing the right thing" by choosing music, or choosing the right school, or choosing a certain person to date. And so many other choices.  But I have come to realize that there is no "right path." There are only options and consequences. Life is not a treasure hunt, it's a road trip. It's not the end result we should seek, it's the journey. It's like the branches of a tree. If you follow the trunk up to a certain branch, yes, that branch may be stronger or have more leaves than the other branches... but that doesn't mean it's a "better" branch.  That doesn't mean that it's the "right" branch.  It's just a branch, and it brings its own unique attributes.

Maybe I have always thought that the right choice was the one which made me the happiest, or was the best for my career (which eventually will bring happiness), or was the best for my future. But there are so many different ways to be happy, so many different ways in which my future can benefit. How can I say that ASU was the best grad school for me, when I have no idea what would have happened had I chosen a different school? It was a choice that I made, to follow a certain path, and it brought me to where I am today: not "better" or "worse" than I would have been anywhere else, but different nonetheless. Changed in my own unique way.

I went to my grandparent's house to visit today, and the very first thing that my grandpa says to me, even before, "hi, how are you?" is about a young Marlins player who hit two home runs.  He follows up this information with, "you should make out with him!"

Also, my mom is playing angry birds.

Goodbyes make me sad.

Hat tournament today. My team made it to finals and lost, a ranking of 2nd out of 10 teams. It was a good time! It really is amazing how many Orlando ultimate people I can know by name (or... I know their face and they know my name. it's a lot of new people. give me a break.) after being here only about a month and a half.

Ultimate is cool. I really enjoy it. It's a great workout, is relatively safe, fosters a sense of community (within your team or withing the "ultimate communities" of cities), is able to be played with men and women on the same team, and is just really, really fun. I am thankful for what ultimate has done for me these past two and a half years. I feel healthy; I am healthy. I'll always have a place to make friends, no matter where I go. And I have found a hobby that I pursue for the simple reason that I love it.

For me, it's also particularly good stress relief.  When I go to the beach, I bring all my troubles with me, but I am so content that I don't care about them anymore. The beach helps me to live in the moment.  However, ultimate takes stress relief a step further.  I actually forget all my troubles when I am chasing a disc floating through the air. They disappear. Gone.

I am probably going to live longer because of this sport.

So I've been hiding away in Florida these past 5 weeks or so. I have done a lot of soul searching here and I think I finally know exactly what I want out of this crazy life. Of course, as in all things, plans can change.