BAHAHAH! Oh mixed emotions crew...sorry in advance that I am so bad at ultimate. I'm somehow getting better at an alarmingly rapid pace, but I'm still a weak ol' 5'1" chickadee, afraid of the ground and of other people and of objects that fly towards my face. You'll have to forgive me.

Body: "Go to sleep, Ashley. You're incredibly tired."
Brain: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo. I DON'T WANNNAAAA"

Brain and Body rarely agree.

(I don't think that I age. My theory is that I'm actually going backwards in age, like Benjamin Button. I'm really like 10 years old right now. IT MAKES SENSE, DOESN'T IT???)

The most comforting thing about Easter to me is the reminder that there is something more out there. So many times I forget that this is only life on earth, and it is not the end. And everything that happens here, while it may hurt for a bit, is only temporary. Even the worst possible scenerio you only must endure for a lifetime. There is something greater, so much greater, to look towards.

Jesus Christ is risen today
Alleluia, alleluia

So fight those bad vibes, they won't last. Christ will.

(Sometimes I panic for no logical reason. Don't panic, Ashley. It's gonna be okay. You're okay.)

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!!!

Wow, what a beautiful day--so appropriate. Life is good!

Man, sometimes I say stuff.

Reason: I'm a hard worker.

You'd better believe it, brother.

Well, my month of fame has ended, but I'm not sad because a friend of mine from elementary school and middle school (one of the close-knit group of friends in the gifted program) took my place. Way to go, Hambone! I remember square dancing together in third grade. I only wish we could have been on at the same time--that would have been awesome.

A letter to the editor:

Q: Ashley, you are a smart, attractive, outgoing, talented, and generally pleasant girl. How is it that some lucky guy has not snatched you up by now?

A: Thank you for your question! I have a long answer for you, so get ready:

Relationships, at their core, are friendship. The difference is that there is a future to relationships, some kind of forward-looking element. Therefore, there is one reason to date: to find a mate. If you are dating someone who you don't believe you could POSSIBLY marry, well then, you're wasting both of your time. And I'm also guessing that you are also dating only to indulge in, said in the best way possible, the romance. YOU'RE INDULGING WHERE YOU SHOULDN'T BE INDULGING.

THAT SAID, I have some pretty strict rules for the guys I date. The most important thing to me is my belief system, therefore, the most important thing that I look for in a guy is a belief system that is compatible with mine. So it follows that I only date fellow Christians, no exceptions. I know it's harsh, I know I am close-minded and all that, but I am not going to change. SO DEAL WITH IT.

In addition, I am a cautious person--extremely cautious when it comes to relationships. It sounds like a paradox: I'm a free spirit, but I look before I leap. Feelings are very real, and I have hurt and been hurt enough to know that if you can prevent that pain, you should do it as soon as possible. Do not lead guys on, and for Pete's sake, do not lead me on. Please note: I'm not going to do anything physical--no, not even first base--if I am not dating a guy. IT'S BAD NEWS.

Right now, I'm living in Tallahassee. In four weeks, that will no longer be true. Who knows when I will return. Let's face it: I'm not exactly girlfriend material right now...I'm only seeking good, clean fun--the way I always do.

I hope that clears things up.

So I was looking on youtube at some videos of KT Tunstall. Love that girl, she's so sassy, she got soul, and her music is just awesome, full of energy. The more I learn about her, the more I like her. I mean, any girl who's is going to write a song with "you're not the one for me" as the main lyrics is okay in my book. I think I see in her some of the characteristics that girls in general admire: cool and confident, more powerful than men, honestly doesn't care what the fjsda they think, with an attitude to boot. She's just so COOL.

ANYWAY, I learned that she covered "Walk Like an Egyptian" (not very well, but when are covers ever as good as the original?). Just the fact that she chose that song makes her awesome. That's my jam.

I might just use my new iTunes dollars on her albums.


Black Horse and a Cherry Tree
Hold On
Walk Like an Egyptian
Suddenly I See

I'm living in the present, one short glimpse of the normal life. It'll be gone soon, all too soon...but let's not think about that right now. Live in the present, I'm all in.

ALSO...picking the handler up and carrying her around the field is NOT a valid or legal defensive maneuver!

ALSO...hahah! I love being a girl, with the innate ability to...know things.

ALSO...ultimate is really fun.

Life is so hard sometimes. We have to make these tough decisions, execute difficult actions. Often we must say things that we don't want to say and do things we don't want to do, even to the point of hurting others...and sometimes it's really hard to tell whether the choice you're making is for the good of all, or if it is the best choice for you alone. And there's nobody to hold your hand through it all and assure you that what you're doing really is the best option. These choices that I make that affect others so strongly...they weigh heavily on me, they really do, even if I pretend otherwise.

The freedom of choice can be a burden.

Honestly, I think guys live in some kind of dream-reality world sometimes.

It's 3:15 AM, I'm eating Ramen, and I just came from playing Rock Band.

Welcome to college, dear. Where have you been the past three and a half years?

My challenge to myself was to play better every week at the league game. I'm doing it. I scored my first point today! And some other good stuff.

I can now out-frisbee Joe Shmo. AND JOE SHMO IS NOT A LADY.

Red. I'm red all over.

I was an American explorer again today, Louis and Clark traveling uncharted land for the first time. What a great feeling, the mystery of what lies ahead...and then reaching that place to find a land that has never been seen before...(perhaps in my imagination).

Tallahassee is deceptive. It has some hidden secrets about it. You just have to know where to look.

"One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."

Hey flute players out there...tell me what is wrong with this passage. It is an excerpt from Nancy Toff's "The Flute Book":

"Sergei Prokofiev (1891-1953) had a career similar to Martinu in that it combined nationalist elements with neoclassicism. His only work for flute, the Sonata, premiered in Moscow in 1943. It is a traditional work--its three movements are in sonata, rondo, and ternary form, respectively--but modern at the same time."

Am I missing something here? (or better yet, is SHE missing something here?)
????????

I got a special sunburn today.

Prokofiev died the same day as Stalin. How ironic!

So as it turns out, Sigur Ros not only writes the most beautiful music imaginable, but they also make the most beautiful music videos imaginable. Take a look:

Glósóli (translates "glowing sole," this is my favorite video)

Hoppipolla (translates "hopping into puddles")

Lightning just struck right outside my window. The thunder made my room shake. Oh, this is scary because it's real. The end is coming...

I am going to die if I try to go to class today. Oh God, I don't want to die...

Note to self: driving school. Do it.