Do you people think I'm stupid or something? I may not be the most intelligent person alive, but I DO have perception. I'm not blind. And what I see makes me mad. Stop all this nonsense and mind your own business.
Sorry to those that this does not involve.

Yesterday I went shopping. I got a beautiful homecoming dress for 9 dollars. I'm going. And I'm going cheap. He he heee. Plus I got a new beadspread and this is my first night in it. My mom says I can redecorate my room: move some furniture around and paint my walls. I'm excited. It's been the same for so long I'm almost scared to change.

Oh man I'm so scared again. This house is freaking me out...

Beach tomorrow! Happy labor day!

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Two fire alarms just went off in my house. We couldn't figure out what was wrong, and I wanted to call the fire department. My parents refused, and I took the phone book out and called them myself. Well, I would've if my dad didn't stop me. You'd think that having two fire alarms go off would ring a warning bell in your head, but my parents ignored it. As they were going back into their room, I said "I guess parents know best, but I wouldnt want my house to go up in flames."
I've heard too many stories about electrical fires starting in houses to ignore this. I'm scared. Help me.

And after all the songs I could have stuck in my head, my mind still chooses "Clams Anyone?"

Hey guess what time it is? You dont know because my thing doesnt do time anymore! Wee hee! Anyway, it's 1:04. I'm gonna sleep till about...oh maybe NOON tomorrow. The best part is, I have no homework! Except for the usual practice makes perfect. I like to practice. I don't like to conduct. My arms get tired very easily.

Fishie fishie fishie!

Oh yeah, and today some dumb person called me a "princess" (in a bad way) because I didn't want to PAY TO WASH MY OWN CAR. Jeez. Some people...
Having your car washed while youre inside it is pretty cool. If it was dark and scary it could be in a horror movie. People just sort of swarm around your car and attack it (with various washing devices).

Hey you know whats sad? When youre on the computer for 4 hours at night when you should be practicing, doing homework, not being on the computer, etc.

Aesthete


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Not much to talk about. My head feels empty. I like three day weekends. Maybe I'll even get to go to the beach! Maybe I'll sit at home and do nothing!! Yesss!! Maybe I can catch up on schoolwork! Maybe I'll practice 4784382 hours a day! Woo!

Hey ya know whats funny? When people say theyre gonna beat me again when they've never beaten me before. Not that they couldn't, but I just find it funny.

Butterflies are white and blue.
In this field we wander through.
Suffer me to take your hand.
Death comes in a day or two.

All the things we ever knew
Will be ashes in that hour:
Mark the transient butterfly.
How he hangs upon the flower.

Suffer me to take your hand.
Suffer me to cherish you
Till the dawn is in the sky.
Whether I be false or true,
Death comes in a day or two.

Just thought you guys might like a bit of good poetry. This one struck my heart the first time I read it; it's very powerful. Good old St. Edna...

I sure am a sucky drum major. I'm not too hot at lying either. Or being a good person. But oh well. At least I can laugh intead of cry at myself.

So, heres some quotes from today:
-"Policemen eat many doughnuts and sandwiches" (10 points to whoever can guess what this means)
-Newton's third law is MOST TRIUMPHANT!

Ok it wasnt some it was just two. But thats all I can remember at the moment.

Blah blah blah.
I had about 2 and a half hours of homework tonight.
Good thing it wasn't a marching band night.
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. In Melbourne.
I hate missing school.
Especially for stuff that could be done out of school time.
Is the line thing bothering you?
Heh heh.

Ya I'm weird and stuffz.

Well, my first FYAO rehersal was yesterday and my first performance was today. THEY ARE FREAKY GOOD. We sightread this hoedown piece with mad fiddle licks and the violins just tore it up (there was way too much slang in that sentence). Anyway, my orchestra is really really small. It consists of about 10 violins, 4 cellos, 2 violas (!), a bass, 3 flutes, 2 clarinets, one oboe, and two bassoons. No brass, no percussion. We'll bring them in from symphony when we need them. "Its not worth driving form Melbourne to play whole notes for two hours." Good point. We have already started the awesome music, sight reading Poet and Peasant and Handel Concerto Grossi in rehersal. Man we're good. And we're gonna get so intimate. I can tell. It's definately something new to me, such a small orchestra, but new isnt always neccessarily bad. I only dont like the no brass policy and Im afraid we wont be able to do any powerful big music. Because that type is uaually my favo. But whatever. Its still gonna be cool.
And imagine. All three flutes from Titusville H. we've been playing together for HOW many years? Haha.

Tomorrow is gonna be great. Nothing special is happening, but a bright new day! Every day is another chance. Liiiifffeee! (plus I dont gotta go to BSYO hehe)

Today was a great day. Tomorrow is gonna be a great ay. Every day is a great day.
:)

Good thing I'm writing in my blog a lot. Ah well.

So what to write about, what to write about? This may be a long post, in fact I'm planning a long post, so sit back and relax or just don't read it.
Topic #1: Classes
Physics is such a waste of time. I can't seem to concentrate in that dang class. I mean, so far it hasn't been too hard. He spands soooo much time explaining stuff that everyone knows already. Or should know if they have a brain. At least drone on about something I can LEARN. But I still dont think I'm getting a good grade, because I left my homework at home once. And today he looked at my homework, disgusted. I think he may have even took points off. IT WAS PERFECT. I dont know what's wrong with him. But it is pretty funny when he just stops talking. I laugh when he does that. Not that I dislike him or anything, but I dont appreciate getting points off for no reason.
Calculus is ok so far, but all we've done is review. I have a feeling it's about to get very sticky (slope of a curve? Tangent lines?). But I had above a 100 the whole time in precalc, so I think I'm prolly good at math I hope. Nick O. is funny in that class. He's always making stupid comments. Yesterday he said something and Mrs. Orletsky was like "You're cleaning up after dinner today." I laughed forever.
Orchestra. Chamber band. Jazz band. I hate the new bathroom policy. I've always gone to the bathroom before third block. And I'm always going to. Except before, I could get to class on time and now I'm late everyday and miss the tuning. A good thing? No. An Ashley who missed tuning is not a happy Ashley. But I love the reading band. Sightreading is possibly my most favorite thing in the world. One of my favorites, at least.
Fourth block. Appears easy, but I'm having lots of trouble. Why can't I write a simple sentence? I keep trying to put cool stuff in my sentences to make them sound better (or at least longer) and I always end up adding a clause. When I did the 10 sentence story, I got a 69 (!) and I got a check minus on something. I'm getting very worried. Maybe I'm not cut out for that class. I guess at least I have friends in it. Which somehow turns into never talk to me because were always doing something in there. I'm not complaining though. I love the teacher, and I love the people. It's gonna be a great class.

Topic #2: Band
Marching band is dumb for drum majors. I never know whats going on, even though people assume I do. I know how to march, I'm one of the best marchers in the band! Does anybody ask me about that? No. And sometimes when I ask someone something, they just stare at me. I'll say something like "Did you notice that you bunched up in the middle of the coordinate?" and they'll just stare at me like I'm some foreign object that thery're trying to comtemplate what to do with. Dude, it's not that hard.
And I hate the measuring sticks. Schwindt thinks the sticks are gonna fix everything. Theyre kinda pointless in my opinion. And they just make people mad. Especially clarinets, the little boogers. Which is a whole nother thing in itself.
Why can't some people march? I just don't get it. You put your foot down on the beat. What do I have to do to get that across? Why don't they understand? Why do they start out right, and then fall behind? I dont think I could not march to the beat even if I wanted to. Dumb freshman. They'll learn in time...hopefully.
In any case, the opener is looking and sounding very nice, and I mean it. The one trumpet fanfare part sounds awesome, I wonder if they worked on it. I would assume so. But you know what happens when someone assumes.

Topic #3: People
I've noticed that certain people just make me mad. Like if someone said something, and if a person that makes me mad said the exact same thing in the exact same way, it would make me mad. I'm trying to fix that, to think of everyone as the same, but it's really hard. I don't know. I guess some people just dont mix with me too well.
Also, it's hard to not hear what people say about other people. I feel really bad whenever I hear friends talking bad about someone I've never met, because I will have a biased opinion of them upon meeting. I try to make judgement for myself, but once you've heard stuff, it's hard to go back to unbiased. Like Mr. Sprayberry. I've heard oh so much about him, but so far none of it seems that true (except the homework incident). In any case, he seems to know what he's talking about. Same with Mrs. Orletsky. Though I haven't learned anything new in either class, I've seen their teaching styles, and I disagree with what I've heard. But it's not only teachers I'm talking about here. It's students too. Or performers. Or anyone. I think sometimes when friends get together, they can blow things out of proportion. It's like if people find someone to agree with, then the opinion becomes more solid. Or something.
Another thing I want to add about people is that if you spend too much time with someone, they really really start to get on your nerves. Please for everyone out there, don't let this happen to you. Know your limits. And still I wonder: is anyone sick of me? I think I wonder too much about what people think of me. No wait, let me change that. I wonder too much about the person I am. I just need to be myself. That got signifigantly (sp?) better this summer and school year. I'm "coming out of my shell" as it were. If there was a shell, and if so, if I'll ever come out. Sigh.
A lot of times, I wish I could tell people what I REALLY think of them. I act a lot, and I hold back a lot. A lot more than people think I do, anyway. Yes, it's wrong, but in a way, it's also justifiable. Would it be right to be mean to someone you can't stand? But the whole time I'm thinking in my head "Shutup go away I dont like you." But if I'm mean then I feel REALLY bad. And there are some people who I really like but I can't say anything because...I just cant. I miss a lot of opportunities from being scared. "Cowardly." Or just plain lazy. Ah well.

I'll leave this message with a quote, one of my favos:
"Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."
(aka "Only in the mind's eye can one see rightly.")
-author of The Little Prince

Thats a wrap!

About a week ago, I was riding my bike along very peacefully when I suddenly come across a four-way stop. My mind decides this is the time to give me some nice advice about life and it says "Don't exault at the four-way stop." Shortly after that, it says "Leave me alone." I spent the rest of the bike ride trying to figure out why my brain said those two phrases. My brain is so weird sometimes. Kinda like me.

Ya know whats really fun anytime with anyone? Pretending to be a secret agent and running around hiding behind stuff and shooting people with the little hand gun. And you cant forget to sing mission impossible the whole time. That just makes it. I dont think Ill ever grow out of that game. It makes people laugh too. Thats the best part.
But the best at that as Matt Buck from summer camp. He won the talent contest for doing it so well.

Haha, I hope you guys had fun at BSYO....losers. ::runs off laughing::

Ya win some, ya lose some...and this was a WIN!!!

The audition was for principle round at Young Artists Orchestra, and I was more than a little anxious about the competition. I mean, I was up against three other allstate players plus some other good flutes. I did my best, and I got exactly what I wanted! Principle chamber symphony! Woo! ::Pats self on back::

So take that, judges of FSYO! You dont think you need me? Well I found an orchestra that does. (I really just wanted to be their orchestra and am now trying to make myself feel better) The word iconoclast comes to mind...

Ok this goes to everyone out there:
If you want to tell me something, SAY IT. Dont get all mysterious, because I'm never gonna figure it out. Just say it. Thank you.

Wish me luck for my auditon tomorrow...Im gonna need it, you wouldnt believe the amounts of good flute players who are in the audition. So whats new. We have the worst luck you know? Clarinets...yes there are a lot of them, but very few quality clarinet players. Not a lot in Brevard. Not a lot in Florida. Flutes, on the other hand, though not as plentiful as clarinets (but come close) have a myriad of good players. Practically every flute player you meet is good.
Theres my rant/whine/lecture for the day.

So.
Ya know, after a summer like that, especially the sleepless breakdowns in the end, it's hard to go back to boring old school stuff like study and pay attention.
And now I remember what school was like. It's harder than just schoolwork. It's dealing with people, too. I think I imagne a lot of things that people do. Or else I'm crazy.
Oh what a tangled web we weave.

Someone watch LOTR with me tonight.

Sigh. The dreaded "Last Day Before School Starts" has come. What should I do? I know. Ill clean the house. Then take over the world. Yes, good plan Ashley.

Im worried about our band this year. The best horns are gone. Some good trumpets are gone. Some good trombones are gone. Some good flutes are gone. The ONLY bassoon we had is now gone. The clarinets didnt lose much, but they didnt have much to start with. Oboes, blah. Tubas are in good shape at least.
And the winds in full orchestra...I'm really scared to see what that'll look like. We already have four flutes that I know of, one of which is tone-deaf. Four tubas, the best playing horn for some crazy reason. I dont even want to see the other instruments. One trumpet? Ten clarinets? No horns? Who knows. Im scared to find out.

I was watching some videos of concerts my freshman year. We were REEALY good back then. What happened? Actually we weren't bad last year, I have to admit, I remember Four Scottish Dances was good, but when festival time came, I dont know, did we blow it or something? Because the CD does not sound good. Enigma Variations, Jupiter, maybe the music is too hard.
I should be writing all this on the band blog. Oh well!

In other news, I have 3.5 liter lungs.

You're a CASUAL AIM-ER! Congrats, you're
normal...or you're pretending to be.


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If only:

intelligent: you are really smart and often get
rewarded for that fact. you're not one to speak
out too much and only your friends know the
funny person you really are. occasionally you
might get hassle for being yourself, but at the
end of the day you know better to just be
yourself and that's why the people around you,
love ya! you're a good friend and as loyal as
anything and would never dream of directing
those around you to do what you want, you're
creative, talented and smart. you're what most
people secretly envy!


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You represent... naivete.
So innocent and trusting... you can be very shy at
times, but it's only because you're not sure
how to act. You give off that "I need to
be protected vibe." Remember that not all
people are good. Being too trusting will get
you easily hurt.


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Ah yeah! I finished all my AP work! Ah yeah!
Time to celebrate:
Clean the house!
Practice the flute!
Ash's AP work is done!
Go to marching band practice!
Go on the computer!
Ash's AP work is done!

Ok thats enough celebrating for now.
In other news, there is no other news. Oh yeah. I dont suck on my flute anymore. . Maybe tomorrow I'll go take over the world. I have time now, after all. All is going according to plan. Mwahahaaaa

Time for quizzie-poo (The good one from Shannon that wont be so good for me because I tear up serious quizzes):

1. How much sleep do you usually get a night?
It depends in a big way. I get average 7 marching band season, average about 10 in summer when I have nothing to do, and average about 8 any other time.

2. Do you think that lack of sleep is a big problem in your life?
Sometimes. Usually no.

3. Is your bed comfy?
Oh yes. Its my favorite place in the world.

4. What do you listen to/watch when you get ready in the morning?
Whatever is in my CD player. Sometimes I'm assertive enough to go put something new in. In that case, it's Bond or something that wakes me up.

5. What celebrity would you most like to meet?
I have no clue. Maybe Elijah Wood.

6. Which celebrity would you most like to be?
I dont really know enough about celebrities to answer this question.

7. How often do you do the laundry?
Me? I dont do any. I leave that for the parents. Of course, I had to do laundry at Cannon, and then it was once a week.

8. Has anybody changed your life? In a good or bad way?
Of course, good and bad. Everyone Ive ever met has changed my life in some way or another.

9. What is your absolute favorite meal?
Chicken alfredo? Spaghetti and meatballs? Mom's Chicken pot pie? I dont know. I have lotsa favorites.

10. Are you a small person? Think of it however you may.
That brings up an interesting topic. At Cannon, Mrs Jane, the crazy Alexander technique lady, talked about being a tall person. She said Mr Tobias was one of the tallest people she has ever seen (hes about as tall as me). It all in how you present yourself, and in that respect I like to think of myself as tall. Physically, Im quite short.

11. Favorite cd in any genre?
I like my Celtic CD a lot...also The Lord of the Dance, The Who, and many many others.

12. Are you hot?
Well Im certainly not cold.

13. What reality tv show would you most likely go on?
The one where they go on the computer and blog all day.

14. Cake or pie?
Hmmm...cake, Id say. Tough question.

15. Where do you spend your Christmas(es)?
What Im wondering is why there is an (es) on the end of Christmas in this question. Oh well, Ill let it slide. Anywho, I spend Christmas eve at grandmas house, Christmas mornin at home, and Christmas dinner at a random family members house. Sometimes its here.

16. Do you think your age has any effect on your personality?
Doy doy...do I act the same as I did when I was four? Of course not.

17. Is anybody afraid of you?
Haha...thats a funny question. Ive never thought about it before. I dont know...probably not. Im not a very imposing person.

18. What's your worst habit?
Being stupid

19. Why do you do it if you know it's bad?
Its just the way I am. Cant help it.

20. In general, are you an honest person?
Yeeah.

21. On a scale 1-10 how intelligent are you?
I R B A 11!

22. Are you emotionally stable?
Quite emotionally stable. Especially compared to some of the people I encounter.

23. Are you a good person to rely on?
Definately not when it comes to returning phone calls. Actually, Id say no, Im not very reliable. I dont know why.

24. Where's a place outside that you walk to often?
My car

25. Do you like being out in nature or inside better?
Outside unless its too hot or too cold or too humid or too buggy...in other words, inside.

26. Are you good at following directions?
I sure hope so. Its a useful skill.

27. Are you unwilling to ask for help?
Naaw. I just ask for it when no ones looking.

28. If you could tell your best friend something without any consequences what would you say?
I cant for the life of me understand this question.

29. Do you think you will find your soul mate?
Its a nice thought. I hope so.

30. If you had a great connection with someone, and they had everything you were looking for, a great mind, personality, job, but they were fat, would you still date them?
You mean when theres no attraction? It sounds evil, shallow, etc, but no. Its kind of important.

31. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Hmmm. I have oh so many...maybe when Im trying to get people to do stuff and they dont listen.

32. What is the biggest worry on your mind?
Right now? Its tied for "how much sleep will I get tonight" and "How will I get all my AP work done?"

<3

What I did today:
Wake up. Try to go back to sleep. Stay awake. Accidentally make a fat-free eggo, make mom mad by letting her know, make regular eggo. Eat breakfast. Work on assignments; get a paragraph done. Realize Im too tired to work, try to nap. Lay in bed for a couple hours without sleeping, get up and do rest of assignment. Eat some cookies somewhere in there.

Thats seriously what Ive done today. Pretty sad, huh? Ah well. At least I only have ONE assignment left. Yeah, you heard me. One. I'm the man.

My schedule: (I'm too lazy to go get it so I know Im gonna butcher some of the teachers names)
0 Block- Wind Ensemble-Schwindt (doy)
1st block- Physics Honors-Sprayberry
2nd block- Ap Calculus-Orletsky
3rd block- Jazz/Orch- Schwindt
4th block- "Creative Writing" (AP English)-Thomas (Mrs D)

Theres a fly buzzing around my head. Shoo fly. Dont bother me.