Close game tonight, but we came out with the win. Go Fall Chickens! 3-1 to date.

Sometimes when really intense players guard me (or I guard them), I get the feeling that they hate me.  I know it's not true because they are always my friends; nevertheless, it's the feeling I get sometimes.

Also, I'm not gonna lie, I feel just a little scared every time I hear Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. It's just a scary, scary piece.

Hey guess what...I don't have class tomorrow! You know what that means! (You probably don't.) It means that I get to practice, do applications, and work on writing a paper all day! Woohoo!

(Well okay, so it's not that exciting right now. But trust me, it will be when I have the whole weekend free .)
:)

No, YOU'RE a nachshlag!

My boyfriend is a good one. Just sayin'.

Sick day. Woke up at 5 am with that feeling that I was going to throw up. Tried to lay in bed and fight it for about half an hour and then finally meandered over to the toilet to do the deed.  Went back to sleep feeling nauseated. Woke up around 8 not feeling any better. Got up just long enough to send my professors some emails that I would be missing class today and send a text to a duet partner that we wouldn't be able to rehearse today. Went back to sleep and didn't wake up till 12:15, feeling a little better.

I had 15 minutes to get ready to leave for orchestra rehearsal (I can't really miss...there are only 4 rehearsals before the concert and I don't know any of these pieces). Made it through the two-hour rehearsal, laid down on a couch in the lounge studying a textbook for an hour and a half, and then went to flute rep (I only have it once a week so I couldn't really miss that either). Finally I am home and glad I made it through the worst of the day. I think I may be feeling bad now just because I've eaten basically nothing today.

Being sick to your stomach is the worst. Just the worst.

A few of you may know that I have a livejournal account. I have never used livejournal as a blog; I only had one to check my friends' posts. Nevertheless, back in the day when I created my account, I took a long time to think about what I could list under "interests." I added some more today (and surprisingly, I only deleted one thing), and this is the list that I came up with:

acting girly, awkward elevator rides, back massages, being independent, being nerdy, being sarcastic, being short, bubba gump, cats, charles dickens novels, checking my mail, chocolate, cleats, clicking pens, colors, cute purses, danny glover, deceptive cadences, discs, disney world, doing the moonwalk, doing the robot dance, egyptian cotton sheets, emmanuel pahud, enjoying life, epic storylines, extreme contabass flute, fighting with technology, florida state university, flossing, flute and/or piccolo, flute duets, fondue, fresh laundry, fresh-baked cookies, funny pictures, game nights, god, going to symphonies, gymnastics, hanging out, happiness, happy, hiking, hula hooping, interlochen arts camp, irish music, jesus, late-night talk shows, laughing, long and deep conversations, looking at the sky, making my boss mad, making stupid comics, mountain climbing, movies, music, my brother's video games, nature documentaries, nerdy boys, nice people, norah jones, not wearing makeup, npr, orange juice, owigami!, pacifism, parks, parrots, pennywhistle, people with cool names, picking my nose, picnics, plagal cadences, pokemon, practicing, praying, pretty dresses, reading, reflections in the water, riding my bike, ross perot (not really), rubber duckies, saying stupid things, screaming contests, seinfeld, sleeping, slinkies, snl, speling wurds incorectly, stupid comments, succeeding, swimming, teaching, the beach, the fantasy genre, the good ol' days, the grand canyon, the new york yankees, the tourist face, the water bottle game, thumb wars, toucans, ultimate frisbee, vampire weekend, wide open spaces, woodwind quintets, writing letters

Highs for the next week:
Mon: 107
Tues: 105
Wed: 105
Thurs: 105
Fri: 103
Sat: 101
Sun: 100

With a 0% chance of rain every day.
Is it ever going to END??? C'mon Arizona! It's almost OCTOBER!!

Fall Chickens were at the top of their game last night! After doing a fairly helpful marking drill, we won big, 15-7. I played well myself, catching two hucks for scores, making another good catch in the endzone, and throwing an assist. (I really enjoy playing on mixed teams. They really play to my strengths. I don't get to just bust deep as much on Spitfire because only a few players have true full-field hucks.)  And NO turnovers! Everybody actually played much better this week, staying chilly, coordinating cuts well, leaving the major handling to the handlers. Our D was pretty intense too. Our new players looked so good this week! I am really excited about what this team might be able to do.

At the end of the game the other team was getting really frustrated and were taking their frustration out by counting how many times we threw to new players. I understand that games like that can be very frustrating for the other team. I've been there before. But let me tell you something--the reason we were winning was NOT because we were looking off our new players. I wanted to calmly explain, new players generally do not make as good of cuts as veteran players. They do not get open as much. And you are certainly not going to call a new player to be a handler. And that is the reason they do not get the disc as much. NOT because "we don't throw to them."  I know that I personally threw to our new players plenty of times throughout the game--one was my assist. It was funny, because as soon as they started counting, we threw to one of our new players (one), made a few more completions, and then threw to a different new player for a score (two). That just proves it!

I don't want to make a big deal of this, but I take offense to the accusation that we are a good team because we don't throw to new players. It is totally and completely untrue.

Wellp, my life has gotten less stressful, but not less busy! I had a great lesson today (she called my playing "incredible"! It really is the small things.), and I still have homework to do, practicing to do, and a coaching. And oh yeah....a game to win! Today is Fall Chicken game no. 3 and I have high hopes! However the game ends, I think I am going to have a little bit of fun after this one. After being stressed and busy for so long, I deserve it.

I am stressed.
I need some desserts
To turn it around.
(GET IT??)
But seriously.
Stressful life right now.
And dessert would be nice too.

I have been so productive lately, working hard from the waking up in the morning till the moment my head touches the pillow at night. It'll be worth it in the end, and for now, I can revel in the fact that I am doing the right thing.

Also, I just discovered a new feature of blogger called "stats" which is pretty interesting. It tells me how many pageviews I have per day (or per week or per month) and some interesting facts about "my audience." For instance, my blog is viewed my mac users 46% of the time. I've had 6 pageviews today, 21 yesterday, and 830 in the last month! Cool!

I am feeling a lot less emo today. I guess that's part of the curse--you will question the direction of your life every month.

Man, in an hour and a half, I have done two loads of laundry, dusted my room, vacuumed my room, vacuumed the living room, cleaned my bathroom, made my bed, and done my flute repertoire homework. Maybe I should listen to Van Halen more often...

One more thing: Van Halen is the best pump-up music before tournaments!

So today was sectionals, the first big tournament in the club series. Most teams from sectionals qualify for regionals, which are in a few weeks and in California.

I'm on a Phoenix women's team called "Spitfire" and we played three games today. I had a blast! Not only did we look hot hot hot! (literally...the high today was 107), but I just really like these girls. They are nice, cool, mature people, supportive and encouraging, never backstabbing or rude. We act like a team should act. We probably take that for granted...some of the guys on our brother team, Sprawl, came by for part of our last game and immediately started putting us down..."what the heck is she throwing??" "why would she do something like that???" "that was just awful." I think that my team inherently realizes that comments like this are less than productive, and so we never hear them--never.

Like I said, the tournament was really fun. I played about half of the time, and it was the perfect amount. We almost shut out our first opponent, the ASU team Caliente. The second game against University of Arizona (Tucson) was a little harder, but we still won 14-7. Out last game was against the Tucson club team, Mucho Gusto, and everyone expected us to lose. This is a team that has long been known to be much better than Spitfire (or PHX-ation, the old team name). I feel like I alone believed we could win that game. We have been training quite hard and every single girl across the line is a solid player. Just solid.

It was a close game the whole time. They would score, we would score, they would score, we would score. We were up 7-6 before halftime; then they scored two to take half. Our battle continued. Eventually in the end, we lost. They ran away with three straight points to end the game 8-11. But I compared it to Rocky. ::ROCKY SPOILER ALERT:: Nobody thought we could beat these guys. And no, we couldn't...they were better than us. But you know what happened in Rocky II? Rocky trained even harder...and won. Regionals are coming up in about three weeks. Look for Spitfire to BRING IT.

Spitfire sectionals tomorrow. I am excited. It's gonna be fun!

I think Spitfire needs to get a little more respect in the ultimate community. No, we are not by any means one of the best women's teams in the nation, but yes, we have been working quite hard (I know, because I am on the team and I have been working hard) and getting better, and it's not fair (or NICE, for that matter) to just toss us off with "Spitfire is bad and going to lose." We may lose to Mucho Gusto, we may not, but either way, you should respect the work we have done this season. Yes, I am talking to the Sprawl guys out there. We practice right next to you two days a week. The least you can do is wish us luck for this tournament.

Anyway, getting off of my soapbox...tomorrow should be a blast. Go SPITFIRE!

Sigh. 2 minutes into my new college applications and I just remembered that I hate applying to college. I have done it 9 times and it is never fun, not even a little bit fun. ::cue procrastination::

Time to go practice!

Be strong and let your heart take courage,
all you who wait for the Lord.

Psalms 31:24

I really need to figure out my life. (Or do I?).

I have a really big decision to make at the close of this school year. I have created two main options for myself. I can stay here, get my doctorate, and live life much as I have lived the past two years. This sounds wonderful, but trust me--there are catches. Or I can go home, get a different degree, try to make it for a couple of years as a flute teacher in a place where families cannot afford lessons.
There is more to this choice that I am letting on, but some things are too personal to post online (WHAT?). I have a very strong hunch that this is going to be a cut and dry choice. One or the other. I cannot pick and choose the aspects that I want from each place. I will miss my friends wherever I end up. Both career choices come with baggage. Living in Florida makes me miss Arizona, living in Arizona makes me miss Florida. Where do I belong? What should I be doing with my life? What is the right choice for me? I wish I could just look into the future--then I could be spared all of this confusion and indecision. But as it is, I have to keep thinking about it.

And thinking about it never makes it better. I always end with, "I can't do that because I couldn't bear stay away from _____!" or "There's no way I can live my life without _____!" There are times when I feel like I know for sure which choice I should make, and two days later I will feel just as strongly for the other choice. It's terrible. And it's something that gets me down (at times, VERY down) sometimes. I just don't know, readers. I just don't know.

I don't need to be reminded that change is gonna come,
I can feel it on the tip of my tongue.
And I...
feel alive.

UNRELATED
I made a grilled cheese today with mozzarella and provolone, and it was delicious! Highly recommended.

Did a clinic on extended techniques with the flutes at Westwood Senior High School. It was a lot of fun, and MAYBE I'll get some students out of it.

Someone being awake at a certain hour is NOT funny. So I got up an hour before normal. IT'S NOT FUNNY.

I don't really care what you think--I like the Chaminade Concertino!

I was a little better at wakeboarding this time. Apparently Roland was giving me bad directions the first time (wah wah). I watched this video he downloaded that taught the right way to stand up, and voila! I was able to stand. I was legit wakeboarding for about 5 seconds a couple of times, which doesn't really sound like a lot, but last time I wasn't able to stand at all, so it's definitely a victory. Next time I will do even better!



(Ha! Wakeboarding in the middle of Arizona. Imagine that!)

School is in full swing and I am busy busy busy. I love Spitfire but I kind of can't wait till regionals are over so I can have more time...and not be so sore!

I never want to eat things that are good for me. I always only want to eat sugar and fat. It's terrible.

I dream of a world where I can talk about the size of objects without someone around me uttering, "that's what she said."

We won our first game! 15-11 was the final score. I was a little disappointed that it was such a close game, but a win is a win! Paul didn't play because he is still sick :( The differential would have for sure been better with him out there.

We sure looked nice out there for a first game. It was pretty disorganized for a while, but we had great D, good catches all around, and amazing women (as expected). I am really happy with the team spirit, although I somehow found myself in the middle of a few squabbles on the field (?). I don't know. All I know is that so far, I'm happy with the team we picked!

My teammates seemed to think I played well, but I feel like I totally lost the matchup between myself and the female captain of the other team. One point she got bookends on me with a handblock and then an endzone cut to the open side...grr. No drops, though, and I had a few assists and scores, so all in all I guess I did okay :)

A: "Most people say that I'm the nerdiest girl they know."
P: "You're not that nerdy!"
A: "Paul...I just said that the lightning makes the sky look like Mordor."
...

Paul is sick and I am really afraid I am going to get sick too. Tomorrow is our first game--we can't be sick for it!! Can viruses sense fear?

K: "There something about 7/8 that makes you feel like you can conquer the world."

If I knew how to make videos (and if I had a lot of time on my hands), I would make a youtube video that is a tribute to 7/8. Gotta love it.

My wishes for cooler weather are finally being granted (I think). The highest high in the next 10 days is 105--nothing over 105 is an improvement. I am also VERY excited that the high for our first game tomorrow is only 97! It's going to be great!

These "you know you're from Phoenix when..." lines run through my head from time to time. You know you're from Phoenix when nice weather is anything under 105. You know you're from Phoenix when REALLY nice weather is anything under 100.

I was just looking through some pictures of my cousin on facebook. She is still in high school and I can tell by her pictures that she's in the popular clique. Even in her pictures of freshman year, I can tell that she was popular. She's tall, stylish, sighs endlessly at family gatherings, and cares more about her appearance than I ever did or ever will. I feel like there is a world of division between her and me. I see her only about once a year--if even--and I really wish I had a chance to get to know her better, to understand her and to be a good influence. High school is such a molding time of your life.

Today has been a rough day. The tears still in my eyes are proof. The listlessness of not knowing quite what I want out of life, trying to walk the thin line between two options, the stress of school and practice breathing down my neck every awesome trip I take. How do I deal with this?

It's sometimes very, very difficult to admit that for the most part, the things that happen in our lives are results of what we do. You reap what you sow. A careless, misplaced word is all it takes. Everything has a consequence, though sometimes the consequences are out of proportion with the crime. It feels unfair, but in the end, the sum is the same.

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God

Durango Hat tournament:



Mesa Verde:



Four Corners:



Monument Valley:



Canyon de Chelly:

I'm back safe and sound after an epic weekend of road tripping, frisbee, monuments, and boyfriends (or just boyfriend, I guess there's only one). More on this later, unless I don't feel like posting about it, which is very possible. Hope your labor day weekend was as sweet as mine!

Wellp, you win some, you lose some. I gained a student, lost a student, found a gig, discovered that my flight to a wedding is $400. I think it all evens out in the end.

This weekend's adventure (doesn't it seem like I have an adventure every week?): Durango ultimate hat tournament Sat-Sun in Durango, Colorado. Then on Monday, take a leisurely drive back and see Monument Valley and some other cool landmarks. My oh my! My life is so cool.

My phone is doing funny things. First it snuck in a ringtone that is definitely not my default, then it changed my wallpaper without my permission. I think it might be a transformer.

Uh...so I made a reference to Space Jam in my lesson today. You WISH you were as cool as me.

It's so hot out. ALL THE TIME. It is 5:00 PM and 107 degrees Fahrenheit outside. The high tomorrow is 109, then 108 the next day. C'mon. It has to get cooler sometime. YOU CAN'T HIDE FOREVER.

Oh! Also, I got another student. That makes 5 total--now I make enough to pay rent every month. Yay!

Remember all those posts about Phoenix/Tempe being a hazardous place for bicyclers? Well, today I got in a bike accident, colliding with a car. I am absolutely fine, it was a very mild collision, but the front wheel of my bike was pretty bent up and has to be replaced. And it happened because she DIDN'T SEE ME. I wasn't kidding. PSA: be very careful both as a driver and as a cyclist.