(The bottom of the Grand Canyon is a well-hidden secret.)

I had a dream last night that I was transferring from ASU to Juilliard. I was really excited and all I could say the whole time was, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'm going to be going to Juilliard!"

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I've had such a great time here, out west in Arizona. I've gotten to see and experience so many things that are just alien to the old me. Scalding hot days cooled by the pool, hiking the Grand Canyon, biking along the only lake water in town, sitting in the box in chase field, playing frisbee hundreds of feet above sea level, chilling at the bar with friends, coyotes, cacti with beautiful blooming flowers, full moons in the desert...traveling to new and exciting places with my boyfriend...even everyday discoveries like cooking an awesome new meal, watching a movie I wouldn't have watched before, getting introduced to a new band. All of this has been just amazing.

But new is always just a little bit scary, especially to me, the traditionalist. I find it very difficult to let go of the past. Often to move forward you must leave something behind.

The path of life is a funny one. I was so sure that I was meant to be here, to move here, and I have had all of these adventures along the way, in only one year. It must all have a meaning, it cannot just fade away to memory, no, there must be more to it...

And yet, I really do miss home much of the time. My friends, my family, the beach, feeling safe and loved, that I really cannot fall because there are plenty of those who will catch me. A simpler life. How could I leave all of that behind?

I hiked down and up the Grand Canyon and lived to tell about it!

Grand Canyon, don't let me down!

Happy Bob Marley Friday!

I slept in today (no, I didn't just wake up, don't be like that), and I think I needed it. Last night's practice totally kicked my butt--I felt like I was falling asleep on the field! But now I feel great! It's one of those days when I dance around in my room to Vampire Weekend. I think that draft stressed me out more than I let on. But now it's over and I have 11 weeks of ULTIMATE ULTIMATE to look forward to!

AND...we're giving the grand canyon another try this weekend. The forecast is rain again, but we are going to try anyway. Maybe our luck will swing the right way this time.

AND...I get to start playing flute with OTHER PEOPLE soon. Man, I miss that.

So I MIGHT have had dreams about playing frisbee in Sonic worlds last night...

The TEAM!!! (we haven't finalized a name yet, but we know we are orange):

Guys:
1. Josh Kohl (we were really excited about getting this guy)
2. Paul Otto
3. Wade Ackerman
4. Ben Clark
5. Justin Katz
6. Roland Fisher
7. Justin Wexler
8. Andy Greenberg
9. Westin Sherlock
10. Matt Case
11. Thom McClhany

Girls:
1. Andrea Torvinen
2. Ashley Stahl
3. Jill Mayer
4. Liz Harmat

I can't tell you how excited I am about this team!!! With the way things worked out (there were a few kinks in the system), we have BY FAR the best woman squad in the league. We basically have a first round girl and three second round girls. Definitely lucked out there. We also have a good mix of old and young, vet and new players. AND our team is going to be AWESOMELY fun to play with--Katz and Roland I know are the spirit squad themselves.

One...two...three...CLUCK!

I'm homesick :(

Man, high of 109 tomorrow and 110 on Tuesday. Oppressive heat--will it ever end?

I don't deserve such love.

Man, this draft is going to be tough--and exciting! There are too many variables to make any definite choices yet, but I cannot stop thinking about my future team.

Audition for ensembles tomorrow. I have a feeling that I'm going to derp it up, even with the wisdom from my lesson today. Oh well. They don't mean much anyway.

I am posting because I am proud that I finally did some recruiting for new flute students. I emailed 12 high school band directors tonight, trying to get my name out there. Let's hope this brings in some new faces to the studio!

Wellp, school starts tomorrow, but I don't have any class until Friday. One of the good things about being a music major is that you ease into each semester (however, this does comes with a downside...AUDITIONS. Bleh.).

Anyway, with my day off tomorrow, I am going SHOPPING! WOO! My love of malls has grown a lot over the years, and I have to say that I have become quite the girl in that respect. I recently purged my closet of all shirts that are too stretched out, too short, too worn, or ones that I inexplicably just don't ever wear. I feel like I am getting rid of a quarter of my wardrobe! With the addition of my recently-disimbursed student loan money burning a hole in my wallet, I feel a strong urge to SHOP! (It might be irresponsible, yeah yeah, I'll regret it later, I don't need to hear all that. I'm shopping and that's the end of it.)

My friend Lisa scored some sweet tickets to tomorrow's D'backs game and generously offered two of them to Paul and me, so that'll be my night activity. Shopping, baseball, practicing flute somewhere in the middle--it'll be a good day. :)

I read an interesting article today (okay...I read MOST of it...okay I might have skimmed most of it...okay, you got me, I jumped to words that looked interesting. so sue me.) about people in their 20's. I can identify with this at least:

Ask them if they agree with the statement “I am very sure that someday I will get to where I want to be in life,” and 96 percent of them will say yes. But despite elements that are exciting, even exhilarating, about being this age, there is a downside, too: dread, frustration, uncertainty, a sense of not quite understanding the rules of the game. More than positive or negative feelings, what Arnett heard most often was ambivalence — beginning with his finding that 60 percent of his subjects told him they felt like both grown-ups and not-quite-grown-ups.

So, like I said, I have been in Anaheim for the annual National Flute Convention for the past couple of days. It's been fun--I roomed with 3 other girls (one being my current real-life roommate, Brittney), and it was pretty fun to chat with other people who are doing what I am doing. I had the privilege to see some of the best flute players in the world, including Marianne Gedigian, who just seems to get better every time I see her. What an incredible musician. And I got to see some of the best up-and-coming young musicians in the competitions. I also had a chance to witness quite a few premiers in concerto night. Man, music can be beautiful sometimes. Concerto night FTW!

All in all, it was a great time, and it was a great way to start out the school year, as I'm now officially inspired to do everything I can to be the best flute player I can be.

I took this picture, which is just silly:


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Aside from the flute convention, I've been getting ready for school, which starts up again in two days. Oh brother! I think it's going to be a good year, as I'm going to have an awesome quartet for an ensemble, I'll hopefully get to play in a lot of large ensembles, and my repertoire class is going to be a total of THREE PEOPLE! And of course, lessons will be great as always.

Paul and I decided yesterday to captain a team for fall league. It's my third league here and the first time I'll have captained, and I'm really excited! However, I think we are both pretty scared of the draft. I guess we'll just have to do the best we can! Here's to hoping!

Back from Anaheim. Good times were had by all. More later.

Whoo! One mudslide can really pack a punch, can't it?

I leave for Anaheim and the 2010 National Flute Convention tomorrow. Horray! It's the first convention that I've gone to without ANY obligations. Can I hear an OH YEAH?

I'll be gone until Sunday, and though I plan on taking my computer, there is no guarantee that I'll have Internet access, so this may be my last post for a few days. Here's to good fluting!

(I like ladies night...this could be good!)

I have five solid black skirts, not counting my black tennis skirt. FIVE.

This may be old news, but I just recently found out about this incredibly funny web comic about music. Some of these comics are very intelligent and would only be understood by people who have studied classical music extensively (for some reason, they like to rip on Mussorgsky's orchestration skills...come on, he was innovative, not inept!). A lot of it is about the life of a band director, some is about drum corps, some is about pop music, and some is just funny jokes about instruments being alive--always a hoot!

(The cartoonist is a drill writer from Orlando to boot! I bet I've seen some of his shows.)

Here ya go:
Tone Deaf Comics

Wellp, it seems I can't sleep tonight so I will give you lucky readers an account of my fail trip to the grand canyon. Paul and I drove to the canyon after he got out of work on Friday, and we kind of took our time, getting there just about 11:30. By the time we had set up the tent, it was around midnight, and we were ready for some sleep.
::fade to black::

::fade in again:: I woke up when Paul nudged me. "It's raining in the tent," he said. As if right on cue, a bolt of lightning streaked across the sky. I groaned. Reassuring me that it was going to be okay and telling me that he could do it himself, Paul went to get the rain cover for the tent from the car while I weakly hid inside my sleeping bag. The rain started pounding harder and harder on the tent--puddles started emerging and everything was getting wet.

With the rain cover in place, Paul came back in, muddied, and we managed to go back to sleep with claps of thunder, lighting in the sky, and rain pounding on the small tent.
::fade to black::

::fade in again:: Paul's alarm went off at 7:00. It was still pouring like no tomorrow. We both went back to sleep.
::fade to black::

::fade in again:: I woke up again around 9. It was still pouring but I had to pee very badly so I weathered the rain to make it to the restrooms. My feet got pretty muddy and that was the worst part. Ashley does not like mud.

Paul and I didn't know what to do. We indecisively hung out in the tent for a long time, waiting and hoping that the rain would stop so we could stick to our original plan. Unfortunately, the rain never did stop. I imagine that it's pretty dangerous to hike the grand canyon in the rain (not to mention it would be miserable and view would be totally not worth it). So, at about noon, we decided that it was about time to give it up. We packed up the tent (in the rain), threw everything wet and muddy in the trunk for future cleaning, and left the campsite, defeated.

We figured that if we couldn't hike the grand canyon, then at least we could SEE it (more so for me, as I have not seen it before), so the trip wouldn't be a waste. So we drove to our original first destination, a wonderful lookout point behind one of the gift shops. Unfortunately, our hopes there were dashed as well--there was so much fog and cloud that the entire canyon was enveloped. We couldn't see a dang thing. I still had fun walking through the gift shop...

We visited a few other locations to try to see the canyon, but with minimal success. It was just a bad day to be there. So eventually, around 2:00 we made the long trek back, driving home and talking about music, ultimate, homelessness, politicians, what we would buy if we were rich, our dream house locations, and whatever else we talk about when we're alone.

In the end, not much went according to plan on the trip. I was wet and muddy and cold most of the time, and Paul was very disappointed that he didn't get to show me such an awesome place. We bought food for the trip that we normally wouldn't buy, and we packed all of our belongings carefully for a long hiking and camping expedition, only to be unpacked again unused. However, it wasn't a waste. Listen--it wasn't a waste. We still made memories. I know that I'll never forget our time there. And in the end, isn't that what really matters?

Grand Canyon fail. I am unreasonably tired right now.

I am spending the weekend at the GRAND CANYON with Paul. Yes, it has to be in caps every time I write it. I am totally hiking to the bottom tomorrow, camping overnight, and then hiking back up on Sunday...a 7-mile hike and a vertical height of 1 mile. Can I do it? We'll find out.

Hopefully my next post will be full of beautiful pics and stories of happiness, and no rain!

Man, there is a lot of drama goin' down here. Oh well! To the GRAND CANYON tomorrow! How excited can I be x 700!

Oh, and also I am officially broke.

Good Spitfire practice tonight.

A-Rod made it to 600 home runs, and I don't care what you think, I'm going to be happy for him! So THERE!

I've learned a lot about myself this summer, and one thing that I've learned is that I'm just really, really scared. About everything. What is it that made me so cautious?

I often see people with very simple lives. My life has never really been simple. Most of all now.

Wellp, I have Internet and television back in my apartment, so goodbye to productivity!

I called my brother 2,000 miles away to find a piece of information that I couldn't get because I don't have Internet access. This is getting out of hand.