Until 7:00 tomorrow, I don't think my life is going to be very fun...

Anyway, I went Chopin shopin (HAHAHA) today and I got a lot of cool stuff, including a shirt that says "Pink Cats Rule" and has weird looking pink creatures on it. I'm guessing they're supposed to be cats. I love that shirt.

I got to practice today. I wouldn't have had a chance if I did not leave game night earlier than usual. Ya know, when you're having fun, it's very hard to leave somewhere, and today wasn't an exception, but I thought of poor Sharko who hasn't had any air blown through him for two days and I knew what I had to do.

Breathing into an instrument to create music is gratifying.

Hey how about a story? Would you guys like that?
Ok.
Once upon a time in a faraway land there lived a cat who collected pictures of boats and sat on bean bag chairs all day long. The cat had many friends, yes, and they formed what became known as "The Bean Bag Society." Well one day the manufacturers of the beanbag stuffed animals learned of this infamous society and became very mad, the reason being that they had already formed a Bean bag Society and had intended to recruit members very soon. Well, this cat was a fighter and so, in 1746, he traveled to Iceland and the factory of forks and knives. He asked the manager, "May I please borrow some forks and knives?" and the manager was so impressed with the cat's manners that he offered to donate ten shiploads of forks and knives to the Bean Bag Society. The cat, of course, was astonshied at this kindness and readily accepted the offer. However, the manager was not very smart and ended up sending the forks and knives to a computer superstore in Austria instead. Keeping in mind that this was all in 1764, the cat wondered what a computer superstore was, but being curious like any cat would be, he followed the shipload of forks and knives and collected pictures of boats on the way. He also managed to acquire some palm tree furniture for future use in his house. Well, when he finally arrived in Austria, he discovered that the "computer superstore" had not yet been invented and so he travaled back home, discouraged about what to do. Upon beginning the meeting of the Bean Bag Society, his fellow members kicked him out, giving the reason that he had not once sat on a bean bag in two whole weeks. The cat argued that he had been tricked into trying to find the computer superstore (which, if you remember, had not been invented yet), but the members relentlessly threw bones and excercise equiptment at him. So the cat joined the other Bean Bag Society and soon discovered that its members consisted solely of packages of shredded cheese. The cat was very confused because it had before had the general idea that packages of shredded cheese could not talk nor manufature bean bags. But he realized that his theory was proven wrong and he joined with the cheese. The forks and knives eventually made it to the Societies's headquarters but the cat realized that he had no idea why he needed a 10 shiploads of forks and knives and so he tossed them into the sea, never to be heard from again. The Bean Bag Society later grew to become the most well-known Bean Bag Society known ever. Though disbanded in the late 1800s, the legacy of the late Bean Bag Society has been felt throughout all of time, and perhaps the legacy will live forever.
The end

I am exceedingly sad that I didn't get a chance to play my flute yesterday. Especially since I didn't play much the day before, and I probably won't get much chance to play today, if any.

Man, I am not going to be ready for auditions.

Someone stupid: But Ashley, you are so good! You're ready for anything.
Me: Shut up.

Oh well, at least Sea World was awesome and I have oodles and oodles of gift cards to spend today at the mall. It can't get much better than that.
Unless you add a few hours in to practice.

Today I:
-Woke up at 12:30 and cursed the lateness
-Ran the dishwasher
-Read the rest of Pride and Prejudice
-Practiced
-Went the library, checked out two books, and bought The Hobbit (25 cents!!!!!)
-Ordered a metrenome
-Wrote a cadenza (!!)
-Ate a meal of spaghetti parmesan with Chef's pasta sauce. Oh, it was wonderful.
-Used my Old Navy gift card and bought some stuff
-Listened the the whole Blues Lounge CD
-Visited my aunt and uncle's house for a bit o birthday cake and Elf-watchin.

Well, who know, maybe someone out there really does want to hear what I did all day.

Tomorrow is Sea World day!

Pride and Prejudice was awesome because I could really empathize with characters at times. I need to read more books that I can relate to. Not that I can really relate to the 17th century, but I have felt some of those emotions before. One in particular.

When there is a really good song on a CD, and a mediocre or bad song is the track right before it, I always skip the latter because I am impatient to hear the really good song. And I never end up knowing what the song before it really sounds like. It's a pity..

Well, I have much to look forward to this week. Tomorrow I'm going to Sea World, the next day I am shopping with me mum, and the next day is New Year's eve! And by that time school will be creeping closer and closer....darn school....

Have you ever waited, waited, waited so long for something that your common sense tells you to lose all hope and forget about it? And that it's not worth hoping for anymore because surely if it was to happen it wouldv'e happened by now? But you just can't lose all hope because deep down inside you still believe it will happen? Something is telling you to keep on going, and anyway your hope isn't going to change the outcome, your hope isn't going to change anything. I should lose all hope but I can't, I just can't. I'm sorry, common sense, I can't.

Oh yeah, and I am happy. Especially when I play flute. Just to let you guys know.

Do you ever get flashes of memory? I do. I'll be perfectly peaceful, and the suddenly, BOOM, my mind is attacked with a flash of memory. Just a slice of a certain minute of my life, or a couple words of a conversation I once had. Even a second-long recollection of a certain sensation can occur. These momentary flashes can create such deep emotion that I sometimes involuntarily close my eyes or hide my face. This happens a lot when I can't sleep, when my mind clearly has too much to think about to be able to rest. My eyes will be closed, and I'll be focusing on relaxation, when suddenly it HITS and my eyes fly open, suddenly wide awake again. I'll remember, sometimes things I want to remember forever, and sometimes things I wish never happened. They almost seem like dreams.

Speaking of dreams, they can be so cruel sometimes, can they not? I have had the fortune of having very few nightmares in my lifetime. I think there may have been a time in my childhood in which I dreamt with fear, but it was not very long-lived. No, mostly my dreams are either odd or excessively pleasant. The pleasant ones are the ones I dislike the most. What can you do but wish for what you cannot have after you wake up from a dream about something that will never occur? After the realization of "Oh..it was only a dream," you certainly cannot dwell on what you have, but only think about what you long for. And that is not a happy life indeed.

Hey hey hey it's blogger time!
Blog blog blog.
I am bloggin.
Yay yay yay.

Okay nothing going on in my head so bye

Well, well, well. It's Christmas time once again. And what a Christmas it was.

Jesus is born!!!

--------------------------------

Allright, allright I will list the coolest things I recieved not because I think you want to hear it but because I want to list it. Kapeesh?

-Practically the whole Chieftains collection, thanks to Craig and the wonders of CD burning.
-Putayamo Presents: World Grooves, Congo to Cuba, regular Cuba, and Blues Lounge
-A whole CD dedicated to the Jethro Tull song "Thick as a Brick." How awesome is that?
-A Hubert Laws (jazz flute) CD
-A purse with a picture a bunny hopping next to a radio. It says "hip hop" on it (SO CUTE!)
-Lots and lots of pink clothes.
-Chefs pasta sauce!!!!
-Fuzzy socks
-The ROtK extended DVD. Can anyone say Lord of the Rings marathon?
-A new Bible (mine was falling apart)
-3 bottles of Burt's Bees milk and honey body lotion.
And lots of other stuff!
Right on, everybody!!!!

-----------------------------

The funniest part of the day was when Craig and I played Christmas carols on piano and flute and my family tried to sing to them. This doesn't work well, because
A) Nobody knows the words to any of the songs, and
B) Nobody in my family can sing. Seriously.
So it was funny.

Someone in my family says (s)he has met "the one" well we'll see how that works out.

-----------------------------

It's funny how people can change their minds so quickly, have you ever noticed that? Someone can have a die-hard view on something and then something happens--they have a short conversation or watch a movie or even just a particular person can walk in the room--and their view can change immediately. It's not a bad thing but it's annoying sometimes because it is confusing.

-----------------------------

By studying four things--the way someone moves, the way someone speaks, the things (s)he chooses to say, and the things (s)he chooses to do--it's possible to get a very good idea about how someone feels, even if that person doesn't particularly want to tell you how (s)he feels.
Ya know how when you say something and you know immediately that someone has taken it the wrong way, even before they react? Or if you do something and you know that it has affected someone in a certain way, even if they don't show it? Is this intuition?
Everyone always has a "thing" that they do that just gives them away. It may be very subtle, but it's there. Sometimes it's not very subtle at all. In any case, I usually can pick it up, so many things that people do do not come as a suprise to me. I have been able to predict many an action before the action happened. Especially if that action somehow involves me, because then I pay closer attention.
But what bothers me is when I get to a person and I just can't figure that person out. I have no idea what that person is thinking, or what that person is going to do, or anything. (S)he's just UNPREDICATBLE, and I don't know what to think, or what to do, that will help me or that person. And that bothers me.
I will admit that females are harder to figure out then males. Sorry, guys.

Okay sorry my mind is going crazy again. I need to stop. Good night.

Are you achin
Yup yup
For some bacon?
Yup yup
He's a big pig,
Yup Yup
You can be a big pig too.
Woo!

I've got problems.

There's no crying in baseball.

Dude! This weather reminds me of someone I knew back in the day (Interlochen). There was this girl from Iceland in my flute section, and she had never been in a thunderstorm before. She'd never heard thunder or seen lightning. Apparently they don't have weather in Iceland. Anyway, there was a thunderstorm during one of our rehearsals, and with outdoor stages we could really feel it (outdoor but covered so we didn't get wet). Everytime it thundered this girl's eyes would light up and, with a huge smile on her face, she would point to the sky, like something magical was happening. Her mouth would drop open in complete awe everytime it lightninged (I don't think that's a verb, but eh). To me it was just awesome to see someone so completely excited about a thinderstorm. She prolly went home and told all her friends about the thunderstorm she was in. Good ol Inga.

Well, yeah, duh.

Me: I promise to you that I will practice a lot tomorrow.
Brain: Yeah just like you promised that you would not sleep in very late today, huh?
Me: That was different. I fell alseep again!
Brain: You are always making promises. And do you ever keep them?
Me: Sometimes...
Brain: Bah humbug!

Wow, I really have no life.

Today I actually went to church choir rehearsal (gasp!). It was actually really fun. I think I am the only person in the choir under the age 50.
Anyway, at one point in the rehearsal, we were trying to decide how much time we had for a piece and whether we should do one or two verses. It was for when the priest was going to be slowly walking around the church throwing incense (sp?). We decided that we needed someone to walk around the church acting as the priest while we were singing to see how long it took. So our piano player (who is a naturally funny guy) says to one of the men, "You are looking pious today. Go ahead and be the priest." The man is kind of confused on where to walk so the piano guy goes "It's easy; I'll do it in fast motion" and he proceeds to run around the church with his hands in front of him in the path that the priest usually takes. I don't know, it was just funny to see our piano player running around the church.
That is all.

I took a quiz on Quizilla with this question:

Let's say you have a lot of friends and they are surrounding you, talking incessantly. What are you thinking?
A. Shut up! Can't you see I hate you all?
B. Ah! I love my friends!
C. Do they even know me? Can they see that the outside is whole but the inside is shattered?
D. I love them but...could they be...quieter?

How am I too trusting? Tell me that.
Well, I do like the picture. It's cute :)


A:

Your Beauty liesin Innocence. Pure, sweet and child-like. You most
likely look far younger thanyou are and your smile would brighten up anyone's
day. Seen as naive andsheltered, you can be ignorant at times, but for
the most part, it's simply yourreputation preceding you. You are most likely
rather aware of the realities oflife. You are extremely good natured and
trustworthy. By the same token, you area bit too trusting. Be careful, few are as honest
and open as you. You mightseem girlish still with a love of dresses, ponies,
and things most might deemyou "too old for". But this doesn't
bother you. You enjoy your youth and aregoing to make it last. After all you are only as
old as you feel.

Some ThingsThat Represent You:

Element:Light, Wind Animal: Kitten Color:
White, Pink, Pastels Song:Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney
Expression: Innocent Smile

Gemstone:Diamond Mythological Creature: Unicorn
Planet:Moon Hair Color: White Eye Color: Silver

Quote: "Astranger is just a friend you haven't met
yet."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by

There is beauty in the forest
When the trees are green and fair
There is beauty in the meadow
When wild flowers scent the air
There is beauty in the sunlight
And the soft blue beams above
Oh, the world is full of beauty
When the heart is full of love
-author unknown

Curses, why can't I eat more?
Why must I always waste?
ahhh

True story:
Today I was driving along in my car when suddenly a panic attack hit and my brain told me "You didn't start your car!" I freaked out for about a second until I realized that I couldn't have been driving along if I didn't start my car. But I thought and thought and I still could not remember starting my car before driving. So it just goes to show you that just because you don't remember something doesn't mean that it never happened.

These are quotes about the many instruments, and I have added the instrument names!
Note: As much as I agree with many of these quotes, I have not handpicked them; they are from a book I have.

"The inimitable, charming sweet tone of the oboe."
-John Banister

"One should have an easy manner at the harpsichord and avoid either staring fixedly at any object, or looking too vague."
-Francois Couperin

"Gay bells or sad, they bring you memories of half-forgotten innocent old places."
-W.B. Yeats

"The viola is a philosopher, sad and helpful; always ready to come to the aid of others, but reluctant to call attention to himself."
-Albert Lavignac

"A guitar has moonlight in it."
-James M. Cain

"The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments, the very lower bowl of music."
-Peter de Vries

"The many-keyed clarinet, which can sound so ghostly in the deep chalumeau register but higher up can gleam in silvery blossoming harmony."
-Thomas Mann

"The cello is like a beautiful woman who has not grown older but younger with time, more slender, more subtle and more graceful."
-Pablo Casals

"The quality of tone of the trumpet is noble and brilliant."
-Berlioz

"The saxaphone is the embodied spirit of beer."
-Arnold Bennett

"A composition without a bass would be full of confusion and dissonance."
-Gioseffo Zarlino

"His harp, the sole instument of his way."
-James Beattie

"The flute has now achieved such perfection and evenness of tone that no further improvement remains to be desired."
-Berlioz

"My feet were all right, but I could not manage the castanets."
-Mikhail Glinka

"When drums speak out, laws hold their tounges."
-Thomas Fuller

"The trombones are too sacred for frequent use."
-Mendelssohn

"The pianoforte is the most perfect of all musical instuments: its invention was to music what the invention of printing was to poetry."
-George Bernard Shaw

"The wedding guest here beat his breast, for he heard the loud bassoon."
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge

"The horn is perhaps the least efficient of all intruments in the brass family, but it produces the most beautiful tone."
-Barry Tuckwell

"When the organ joins the tuneful Qire, Th' Immortal Pow'rs incline their Ear."
-Alexander Pope

"The percussion acts as a central heating system."
-Stavinsky

"Did buy a recorder, which I do intend to learn to play on, the sound of it being, of all sounds in the world, most pleasing to me."
-Samuel Pepys

"The mark of a good sitar player is the ability to improvise extensively without abandoning the laid down set of rules defining the raag."
-Jameela Siddiqi

Sorry I missed one:
"The true mission of the violin is to imitate the accents of a human voice, a noble mission that has earned for the violin the glory of being called the king of instruments."
-Charles-Auguste De Beriot

This is probably going to be a long random post because I have a lot of time to do nothing since el flauto non practico. Or something.
And nobody wants to go to bed at 11:30 when they can sleep in as late as they want! Come on now!

So I've talked about listening to songs that make you really happy and remind you of good times, but today I pulled out an old CD that reminded me of being mad and misunderstood. Well, I think we all think we are misunderstood at some level and I think we all are misunderstood at some level but that's not the point.
Why are some people so mean sometimes? That's what I want to know. I like it when people like me. I am happy when others around me are happy. I would think that everyone likes when people like them (yeah), and everyone is happy when others around them are happy. So then why are some people just always...mean? That's not to say that I'm never mean and I always make people happy; no, no, I always try but sometimes moods etc. take over. But some people don't understand that life is a million times better when one is kind. How can you not have figured that out by now?

Also, how does one prevent being annoying? I know some people who are the sweetest people in the world but nobody really likes them a whole lot because they are annoying, either by talking too much, being clingy, talking about stupid things...Anyway, I classify myself as "annoying" but it's because I am annoying on purpose, not because it's part of my persona. At least I hope so.

Mr. Spinale says "The bottom line" a lot.

I have figured some things out about myself. I have been avoiding admitting these things to myself but I have finally done it and it's all downhill from here.

Now, downhill is getting easier, right? Because in every other sense, going down is a bad thing (You ascend up into heaven. A "higher" rank is better. You get the "highest" honor for something. When you are really happy and spaced out you are "high." ["You're bringin me down, man."]), but I guess when it comes to hills, it's easier to go down than up. I've always thought of "going downhill" as being the easy way out but not neccessarily the best way. I also think that "neccessarily" and "fareinheight" are two of the hardest words to spell ever and I prolly didn't even spell them correctly so get off my case man. So "going uphill" is getting harder, right?

I know it would be healing to share these things that I have discovered but I still have my STUPID walls that you STUPID guys created and my need to be different so I will not share.
There I just shared one.

Why the piccolo in Db? That's what I want to know. Why in the world did someone create a piccolo in Db?
And composers need to learn the range of the (C) piccolo. Seriously, guys, it's not the same as flute. So don't be writing any low Db's or C's or anything higher than high C. Though I can't fathom (haha fathom) why in the world someone would want to write something for piccolo that's higher than a C. Seriously. Or if I'm British, honestly.

Some composer's quote of first hearing the serpent:
"What the devil is that?"

Can you identify these well-known composers by their first name?
100 points to whoever can name them all; some even overlap.
Aram. Wolfgang. Gustav. Franz. Georg. Aaron. Samuel. Johannes. Georges. Robert. Richard. Bela. Claude. Ludwig. Antonio. William. Leonard. Domenico. Benjamin. Christoph. Dmitri. Joseph. Paul. Carl. Sergei. Hector. Igor. Felix. Francis. Frederic. Arnold. Charles. Percy. Modest. Alexander. Nikolay. Ralph. Peter. Erik. Bedrich. Maurice. Giacomo. Edward. Gabriel. Camille. Arthur. Jacques. Jean. Giuseppe. John.

Wow. Composers have funny names.

I got an audition invitaion from Cincinnati Conservatory!!!
Now all I need is one NEC and Juilliard and I'll be on my way to world domination.

There are certain times in my past that, whenever I think about them, I cannot help smiling about. My party yesterday is one of those times.

Things are just better when you're on vacation.

Wow! Thanks to all my fine guests, this year's Chirstmas party was a blast!
Also, everyone present helped clean up! Right on!
Thanks, my fine guests!

My mom is so awesome.
Two days ago, I had a lot to do the before Shannon's party, one of the activities being making cookies for my party (the next day). She saw that I was so busy, and wanting me to be able to go to the party and have fun, she offered to make the cookies for me. And she made all of them!
Then, she offered to go shopping for the fondue stuff, and she did that on her own.
Then the next day she woke up early in the morning, woke me up to go to the church, and made a lunch for me to eat while traveling from church to FSYO.
Then today at the party she went in her room and left the whole party alone, trusting me to have a party without parent supervision, and not ever complaining when things got too loud, even when people were screaming their brains out at 1:00 at night. Plus she has to wake up for work at like 6:00 this morning.
I didn't ask her to do any of this, she just did it on her own.
My mom is the best mom ever.

I told you I don't deserve my family.

And now it's a loong vacation of doing nothing (nothing haha yeah right). It may be my last lazy vacation ever, so I must enjoy it heartily.

It's getting better all the time!

SUGAR SUGAR HYPER SUGAR RUN SUGAR HYPER EXTREME SUGAR ENERGY HYPER MUST RUN SUGAR
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

How lucky I am.
I do not deserve this family nor this life.
And yet I have them.
Thanks be to God.

Why?
A. Because I said so
B. Why not?
C. The world may never know
D. Because you are stupid and I am not
E. Because that's the way it has always been
F. Shut up
G. None of the above

I got accepted to FSU!
Wait a minute...
that was two months ago...
Ah well.
I am still accepted to FSU!

Ya know what? The postal sevice isn't very efficient. It takes weeks to get things mailed sometimes. You'd think that someone would have thought of a better way to deliver mail by now. But nobody has, and we are still using the same postal delivery service as we have since Mr. Franklin...or something like that. Well, at least we don't have taxes on the postal service. Yet.
And no, mr smarty pants, email is not an adequate alternative to letters. Dummy.

Somehow I took a three hour nap today. Don't ask me how that ended up happening. I think I might've been hungry and the low energy allowed me to sleep. When I finally woke up I felt like a zombie. Not that I know what a zombie feels like or anything.

I have a car and a liscence. How awesome is that?

We are playing folk festival by shostakovich in allcounty band! Yaaay!

Hot dog, bicycle, hot dog, bicycle
Bot dog, hicycle, bot dog, hicycle
Dot hog, bicycle, dot hog, bicycle

Man! Seriously!

I've got rhythm,
I've got music,
I've got...some other stuff
Who could ask for anything more?

At Interlochen the british crew would say "honestly" instead of my "seriously" and it's funny.

::does the moonwalk::
I can SO do the moonwalk

Much of my deep spiritual thinking is done when I'm taking a shower. Is that normal?

There's a fine line between showing off and practicing, and I haven't quite figured it out yet. Once I was in the warm-up room before a solo and ensemble and I was practicing a tough run from my piccolo solo. Some really cool guy next to me heard me playing and did the thing where you cough and say a word at the same time and he said "coughshowoff." I stopped playing and just looked at him, astounded that someone would have the nerve to actually do that to a stranger. He pretended that I hadn't heard him and he kept on talking to his buddy, but I was on the edge of giving him a good punch in the face. Really, I was. But I took too long to decide what to do about him so I ended up doing nothing. Oh well.
The question is, when is somebody showing off? I could be warming up by playing scales really fast, that is an accepted flute warm up (I do it all the time), is it showing off? No! To me, it's just warming up. But others may think different (differently?)
On the other hand, if people are gathered around me and I play something really awesome, is that showing off? Well, yeah, it kind of is. After all, I am playing something impressive to try to convince them of my awesomeness. But would they think I am showing off? Probably not, they think I am playing for them, not to improve their view of me, but to entertain them.
The moral of the story: You never know who is showing off and who isn't. So just shut your trap about it.
Kapeesh?

Yay tonight is another beating!

Ha ha ha ha ha haaaa..
I am at home now and you are at school!
you are at school!
Ha ha ha ha ha haaaa..

Hey today in first block I was really hyper. I mean, like sugar high hyper. And that is one of my quiet classes, I never say anything. Everyone thought I like took drugs or something this morning and I don't really know why I was hyper but I was and it was funny. I was talking really loud without really realizing it...yeah...

Anyway, I had something real to say but I lost it. Oh well.

I have a big family. And unless they somehow all die or disappear, I know I will always have someone to turn to. Today I didn't have to worry about having a loving family. The chances are in my favor that I will never have to worry about having a loving family. That's pretty dang special.

MY CHRISTMAS PARTY HAS BEEN CHANGED TO THIS SUNDAY AROUND 7:00.
Sorry about the whole asking off of work thing. I didn't know I was going to change it, but Erin can't go at all if it is on Monday. And we all definitely want Erin to be able to go, don't we?
If you can only go later, that's fine. It's probably going to last until the wee hours of the night anyway.

Me: Hmm maybe I should study for exams....naaah.
Brain: For once I agree with you. Now go practice.

Tonight I will dream about random things. Yes...lots and lots of random things.

Today I ate a Milky Way and it was really good. The thing about food is, something just doesn't taste as good if you eat it all the time. You get used to the taste...you even expect it after a while. For example, the only popcorn I eat at home is kettle corn. And now other popcorns just don't taste as good. It's sad.

I had a dream set at Interlochen last night. I'm starting to miss it a lot. The people and places now, not just the music.

But it's all good and I am happy.
Keep making me happy, life.
Life: If you insist
:)

Today the sunlight warmed me and gave me life and light. Today I did not have to worry about having the sun.

I have a good feeling. It's all warm and fuzzy inside. Everything was the same for a long time but now everything is changing. You say, "but everything is always changing!" Yes it is. To turn, turn wil be our delight, till by turning, turning we come round right.

Brain: Ashley! What are you doing? Tear down those walls!
Me: I...
Brain: You can't, right? Don't give me that bull. You've used that excuse for too long.
Me: It's so hard...
Brain: You are going to have to sooner or later. Or else you will be lonely like this for the rest of your life.
Me: I...don't know if I can yet. But I will try. It's been so long...

Haha at a cabin time at Interlochen we wrote letters to ourselves and our counselor planned to send them to us at Christmas. I got mine today and it's awesome. At one part I wrote "In your face, future Ashley!" I'm so silly. Silly billy.

Wow. Today was just...wow. Awesome.

Today was the most I have ever felt like I belonged to an orchestra. If that makes any sense. We sightread Beethoven 5 and it was just amazing. The piece is much harder than it sounds, and it takes loads of concentration. It was so inspiring to be sitting there playing such music with everbody. I felt like everbody there was there for me and I was there for all of them. We were all there for each other. We were a team, a unit. All of us were important. I can't describe it, it was just...wow. It strenthened my love of the orchestra. I love it. And I love you.

Too much..it's too much...IT'S TOO MUCH.

Monday Dec. 20 is going to be my Christmas party. So those of you who work, ASK OFF. And if they don't let you off, then destroy.
I am specifically speaking to Erin, Alyssa K, Albert, Natalia, Josh, and Asher. And any others who work that I don't know about. If you foos have to work during my Christmas party, I am going to be mad and maybe destroy. And you won't get a Christmas present. So there.

Today I made/am going to make lots of people happy. I practiced for a church cantata, wrapped gifts for free at Miracle City Mall, and I am going to march in the Titusville parade. Today I didn't have to look for ways to put my energy to good use. Thank you for these opportunities!

Shannon, I think you misinterpreted my last post. The general idea was that I want to/need to learn more about my own religion. I know what I can and cannot do regarding religions. Please don't be sad for me. I'm not sad for me.

The song "In the Tiki Room" can be a double tounging excersise if you use different vowels. For example, I could say "In the tuku tuku tuku tuku tuku room" instead of "in the tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki room." It's kind of like that apples and bananas song.
"Ypples and Bynynys"

Today I walked everwhere I went (except when I drove). I had the strength to walk many miles, to carry heavy loads, and even to walk up stairs. Today, I didn't have to worry about being able to walk.

Well, there was no mistaking the intention this time. But it's okay; no pain no gain. I am stronger than before.
There has to be a reason that I was born a Catholic. There is a reason. I am going to find it.
In the meantime, I will be looking forward to the celebration of the birth of the only person in my life: Jesus.

and stuff...

Music! Today I woke up to music! I created music! Music kept my spirits high! Today I am thankful for music!

Sometimes when I'm walking around school, say from zero to first block, I'll have to tell myself to slow down, because I am walking much too fast and I am not enjoying anything. And sometimes, say when I'm in class, I'll use some mad Alexander technique skills and tell myself to lengthen and widen, to release all tension and to not worry. I think everyone should know about Alexander technique. It really has changed my life.
It's funny that everyone I talked to who took Alexander technique at Cannon thought it was hokey but everyone I talked to who took it at Interlochen thought it was amazing. I, for my part, took it at Cannon and thought it was amazing.
If you don't know about it, it's basically being able to do normal everyday things-lifting a book, getting out of a chair, walking up the stairs-with more freedom and no tension. If you ever have the chance, learn about it. And take it seriously, because it's easy to laugh at but if you laugh it won't work right.

Fredrick Fenell died :(

I GOT THE CHIEFTAINS CHRISTMAS ALBUM!!!

Today when I went to the library, I had many choices of books I could've gotten. The PSJ library has hundereds of books, and I could've borrowed any of them. ANY of them. I have no restrictions on the books I borrow from the library: no restrictions by my parents, by the government, by the library itself, by my teachers, nothing. Today I didn't have to worry about my freedom in choosing what I read.

On that note, I went a little overboard this time and took out four books. Heh heh...

My social life this school year has been so...I don't know, nonexistant. To quote myself, "all I ever do is practice and play spider solitare." Except I have kicked the habit and now all I ever do is practice. But I really don't even practice that much, at least not at home. So I'm wondering what I do with my time. What do I do all the time that makes me so busy? It's not studying, that's for sure. I do work on college stuff a lot. I watch tv? No, that's not right. I don't watch that much tv. What do I do though?
Brain: You act stupid.
Me: Oh yeah I guess that's it.
So yeah, I'm still here. So are my little walls to leap over. But hey, it's all good. As someone once said, "Don't worry. Be happy." And you know that if you don't listen to someone, you're not going to listen to anyone.

Why do we say "samwich?" I mean, if we were to say the word incorrectly, we could at least use the letter that is already in the word and say "sanwich" instead. But no, we say "samwich." I never did quite understand how that came to be.
Furthermore, why does the word "sandwich" have the word "sand" in it? Do sandwiches have any roots in "sand?"
It boggles my mind.

Today I opened my closet and I saw about 50 different shirts I could choose to wear: any shape size or color. I could've chosen to wear shorts or pants, jeans or capris, jacket or sweater, sandals or sneakers, t-shirt or longsleeve. There are millions of different options. Today I didn't have to worry about having clothes to wear.

Well, I don't have anything intelligent to say today so I'll say this:
Ooga Booga Booga.
Or as Craig would say:
Uga Buga Buga

Brain: Ash you are really stupid.
Me: No you're really stupid.
Brain: I'm a brain! I can't be stupid.
Me: And yet somehow you still are
Brain: I am not stupid and that's the end of this conversation.
5 minute pause
Me: Brain, you're stupid.
Brain: Shut up
Me: I will not shut up.
Brain: Shut up
Me: Make me
Brain: I will kill you
Me: Ooh I'm scared
Brain: I can't believe I got stuck with you
Me: Tough luck, huh
Brain: You have no idea

Today I stood in the presence of four of my grandparents all at the same time. I could actually see the similarities between them and me. If I asked them, they would be able to tell me about the Depression, about past presidents, about WWII, and a number of other landmark time periods in history. They could tell me all about my family history. My grandma didn't speak anything but french until kindergarden. My grandpa had thirteen brothers and sisters (he was the baby). My other grandparents have a lot of German heritage. My point is, I am lucky. I have four grandparents, they are all alive and in excellent health, and they love me. I could learn so much from them. Today I am taking time out to be thankful for my grandparents.
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Taped to the front door of a Bennigan's (sp?) restaurant I went to this weekend:
Due to the recent horrible quality of tomatos, Bennigans will not be serving them until further notice. Sorry. Happy Holidays.
-Management

Those must be some baaaaad tomatos.

Brain:
Ashley:
Love!
Talk!
Live!
Open up!
Don't worry!
Let go!
Enjoy!
Why is it so hard for you to open up?
Why is it so hard for you to speak your mind?
Why is it so hard for you to love?
Me: I don't know...

Today I talked to many people who cared about what I said. These people are my friends. Today I did not have to worry about having friends.

Prejudice. Labels. Stereotypes. These things judge a person before that person should be judged. Who are we to judge people? I can't judge you, you can't judge me. We don't know, we don't know, we don't know. There is so much that we don't know. How can we judge when we don't know so much? We can't judge. We cannot judge. We can't judge.
Readers, think very carefully about what you say, especially when passing judgement. You don't know when you will affect someone by your words in a way you never could've imagined. Just do me a favor and think.

PRISM

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

Oh yeah, and to the best of my knowledge, Catholicism is a Christian religion. Just so you know.

Today when I woke up I could see all the colors of the rainbow. I saw the sun rise, together with all its colorful splendor. I saw all the tiny details on our high-definition television. I saw everyone who I spoke to, I saw every place that I inhabited, I saw every path I walked on. Seeing today was as easy as lifting my eyelids. Today I didn't have to worry about being able to see.

On that note, I've been thinking, and I've concluded that Beth T. can see. She cannot see things with her eyes, but she can see. She sees in her mind. She sees things that we will never see. We all say "She doesn't know what it is to see" but she may say "none of you know what it is to not see." So stop laughing at her when she says she sees things. She may be blind, but she can still see.
--------------------------------
Mozart Concerto in G*
-movement 1 + cadenza
-movement 2 + cadenza
-movement 3 + cadenza
Muczynski Sonata*
-movement 1
-movement 2
-movement 3
-movement 4
Bach Sonata in E flat major*
-Allegro Moderato
-Siciliano
-Allegro
La Montaine Sonata
-movement 1
-movement 2
Reinecke Concerto
-movement 3
Piazzola Tango Etudes*
-no. 3
Mozart Rondo in D major
Vivaldi Concerto for piccolo in C major
-movement 3
Orchestral excerpts:*
-Beethoven Lenore Overture no. 3
-Brahms Symph. no. 4 mvt. 4
-Mendelssohn Scherzo (Midsummer Night's Dream)
-Ravel Daphnis and Chloe
Weekly Altes etude
Weekly Anderson Etude
Weekly Filas high register study
Work on tone, scale patterns and tounging:
-Moyse: De La Sonorite
-Taffanel/Gaubert
-Reichert
*Must be played memorized

This is what I practice in a typical week. All the pieces must be ready by the end of February. So don't be complaining to me that I practice too much. I don't practice nearly enough. Jerks.