Sunday, October 31, 2010

This past week, I was lazy and unproductive. I can and will do better.
Happy Halloween!
::cough cough::

Saturday, October 30, 2010

A conclusive list of Halloween-related things (in order of best to worst):
1) Candy
2) Buying candy under the pretense of giving it out to children and then eating it myself
2) Costumes/acting in character
3) Parties and other fun activities
4) Thriller and Danse Macabre
5) Jack-o-lanterns
6) Haunted Houses
7) Other Halloween Music
8) Slutty bunnies, nurses, schoolgirls, etc.
9) Halloween puns, like "Howl-o-ween" or "Hallow-scream"
10) Being too old to trick-or-treat :(

Edit: I forgot one. Asking people what they want to eat and getting "BRAAAAINS" in response goes between nos. 4 and 5/

Friday, October 29, 2010

Siiigh.  My entire family, including my parents, brother, and two sets of grandparents are on a cruise together right now, going to really cool places like Mexico, Antigua, the Virgin Islands....
Why couldn't I go? I have....SCHOOL.

It seems I am not too cool for school.

Wellp...at least the weather is nice here. If you like 90 degrees.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Pedro kitty makes my day, every day. He's so adorable! I want a kitty just like him.

Wellp, semifinals for the concerto competition were last night. I was the last person to go out of 10 people, and I must say, I played quite well. Excepting the fact that I had heard that EVERYONE had done really well, I thought I had a shot at advancing.

The results are in. Two advance, I was not one of them.  I DID get a shout out as the "alternate," but ultimately I will not be able to play in the next round. 3rd out of 10 when they only take 2. When will the madness end?

Monday, October 25, 2010

I've been thinking too much lately.
It comes and goes in spurts, the vast chasm of unknown bringing me down. I know that I am not supposed to let the future worry me, but it's so difficult to accept that I just do not know right now which direction my life is headed. For the first time ever, I have absolutely no idea what my life will look like a year from now.

What can I do? Try to dig more into life here? I am mostly happy here. My studio is continually growing. There are great opportunities for a career in music. The ultimate and its community is wonderful. The weather is great, Tempe is beautiful, there's always something new and exciting to do. But can I just leave everything at home behind, forever?  There will always be a part of me that thinks I belong back in Florida, traveling the shores and walking on the sand. On the other hand, if I move back home next year, I will have to start all over again if I ever want to come back. I won't even have my teaching job anymore. I will start from scratch...

I shouldn't be worrying about this right now. I know that. I have practicing to do, papers to write, student to teach, concerts to play, games to win, emails to write, rehearsals to attend, subjects to study, recordings to listen to, calls to make....the list never ends. The present brings enough troubles for the day. There's some proverb about that which I don't feel like looking up.

But how can I be at peace with such an uncertain future?

Don't tell me. I already know the answer. I need to trust that in the end, everything will be as it should be. I need to remember what I once believed without question: God will provide.

P.S. Updates on facebook about how successful my flute colleages are is not raising my spirits. You guys are jerks. (Not really. I just wanted to call someone a jerk.)
Monday is usually my busiest day, but I've had three classes cancel on me, so I'm free the rest of the day! What a good feeling.

And by free, I mean free to do work and practice. Wah wah. At least this Monday isn't going to kill me like last Monday did.

Also, I heard some voice students in the library talking about Schools of Music. They were recommending FSU to each other, talking about how good it was. It made me happy :)

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Wellp, I somehow made it to the next round of the concerto competition, so that's good (I think). I really need to step it up for semifinals, because not only is this statistically the hardest round to advance through, but I know for sure that if I play the way I did in prelims that I will not move on.

Charity hat tournament for breast cancer awareness today. It was a blast! Gotta love just being outside in perfect weather, playing a game you love with your friends. Stress relief has never been more effective.

Sunday secrets are up already.
?

Friday, October 22, 2010

Playing music makes me sad sometimes.

Let me rephrase that.

I make myself sad sometimes by playing music.

But you know what makes me happy?

Cheeseburgers.

Really good cheeseburgers.
Quick update: Fall Chickens did go 6-1. Cluck!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

I need break. Good thing league is tonight! Will the Fall Chickens be 6-1 at the end of the night? Only time will tell!

First round of the ASU concerto competition tomorrow.
Chaminade + Ashley = GIRL POWER

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I've had a sudden and inexplicable urge to perform in a musical. Some innocent little girl part, like Red in "Into the Woods" or Fredrika from "A Little Night Music," or Joanna from "Sweeney Todd."

...wait a minute...do Sondheim musicals always have an innocent little girl part?
The second of two tough, busy days working 14 hours. Hopefully tomorrow will be a little easier.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Someone recently told me that it's probably a good idea to not blog while I'm PMS-ing...however, I will just say this: today failed to amuse me.

(It was just one of those days.)

SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME CHOCOLATE, STAT.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

I went hiking today! Did Brown's Peak (no. 1 of Four Peaks) with Paul, our friend/teammate Ben, and a friend of Ben's. It was really fun...until I got lost and scared and had to be rescued...uh, yeah....but we took some pretty sweet photos at the top of the mountain. Take a look!


Our aerial battle a la "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon"

This was my favorite one. Ben floating in the air. How can you not love this? Also, I took this photo.


I'm flying!
Paul bustin' out the moves.

Allright guys. I'm not one to crazy talk and say things like "I think there's a ghost in my room," but I'm pretty sure there's a ghost in my room. I don't even know if I believe in ghosts, but that doesn't stop me from knowing that one is here. That doesn't even make sense when I say it that way. It's like...I don't know if I believe in chairs. But there is obviously one right here. I'm sitting in it. You don't have to know if you believe in chairs to know that one is here.

Instance 1
The first (and most exciting) piece of evidence that there is a ghost here are two phone conversations, both with my mom. We use AT&T as our provider, and apparently AT&T hates Arizona, because my calls get dropped on a regular basis (like once every 15 minutes) no matter where I am in AZ. HOWEVER, last year, I was talking to my mom and meandering around my room. I pick a destination and sit in my desk chair. (I'm pretty sure that the ghost is based somewhere around my desk and/or sink, which are close to each other). All of a sudden, tt sounds like the call got dropped. Nothing odd here. I stay on the line just in case it is just cutting out and will cut back in.

The line cuts back in, but all I hear is this static and heavy breathing. This kind of freaks me out a little bit, cause I'm pretty sure that my mom doesn't sound like that. Although it's scary, it's also mesmerizing and I stay on the line. Suddenly I hear a voice on the other end--a very throaty, whispery voice, like someone who has laryngitis--cut through the static.  "Hello?" the ghostly voice says. "Hello?"

This freaks me out to no end. I am so scared that I almost drop my phone. I immediately hang up.  I put my phone down on my desk and just looked at it for a second, trying to think of a logical reason why that could have happened. Heavy breathing? A whispery voice saying "hello?" Did that really just happen?

My immediate reaction (I have no idea why this was my first thought) was that it was a murderer who was after me. I called my mom back.  She had heard the same thing on her end of the phone. Her first reaction was that it was a ghost or an alien. That got me thinking...

Instance 2
I have a soap dispenser in my bathroom that's really cute. It's shaped like a duck.  It is electronic and is supposed to quack whenever you dispense soap. It has never really worked correctly. It very rarely quacks when I dispense soap; rather, it quacks in the middle of the day when I am checking my email, in the morning before my alarm goes off--in other words, anytime I'm not anywhere near the soap dispenser. Mostly it quacks at annoying times, for example when I am laying in bed on a weekend morning, ready to snooze for an hour longer. (This was all last year. After a few cleanings and exposure to water, I think I have broken it completely. It never quacks anymore).

I think the ghost was annoyingly making the duck quack.

Instance 3
A few months after that creepy phone conversation with my mom, I was talking to her once again in my room. I once again move to my desk chair, just like before, and once again, the call is dropped and I hear heavy breathing on the other line. This time I didn't wait for a ghostly voice to say hello--I immediately hung up. This crap is scary, guys! And my mom heard all that I did this time too.

Instance 4
Not many strange things happened at the close of last year, which is good because I spent most of the summer here by myself. However, when I moved back in after my stay at Florida, the strange things started happening once again.  A few weeks after school started, there was a night thunderstorm.  I very rarely fall asleep to rain here in AZ, so it was odd enough to begin with. I have trouble falling asleep when there is any noise at all, and the rain was no exception. The steady rain was beating on the roof, keeping me up.

After a while, another noise emerged out of the sound of of rain.  What was that noise? The best I can describe it is that it sounded like there was a tap dancer on the roof, tapping a regular beat with one foot and an irregular beat with the other. It was the oddest thing, and even though I had all but forgotten about the "ghost," this couldn't help but bring it back into my mind. Dang ghost, I thought, keeping me up at night....

The regular beat grew slower and slower until it finally subsided altogether. This did not coincide with the continually falling rain...

Instance 5
A few weeks ago I had to write a fairly long paper for one of my classes. I wrote prose in two days, one long and boring weekend. Throughout all this time writing, the dardest thing kept happening: I would type a letter on the keyboard, and about 4 or 5 of that letter would appear on the document. I know my keys aren't sticking, and this has never happened before, so I was pretty sure that it wasn't my typing that was causing it. It was just a strange little thing that was happening every once in a while, until...

About halfway through my paper, I was in the middle of writing a sentence, and suddenly without any notice, the letter that I pressed typed not only 5 letters, but it acted as if I was holding the key down. It typed about 100 O's before stopping, scrolling up to the top of my document (about 5 pages of scrolling at that point), and freezing, causing me to lose some of my work. I had to totally reboot word to unfreeze it. I didn't press any keys in the process of all of this happening. The scrolling to the top of the page was the weirdest thing. I didn't press ANYTHING that would have made the page scroll!

As if this wasn't bad enough, it happened TWO more times in the span of writing my paper. "Stupid ghost!" I kept thinking, "stop it and let me write my dang paper! What is WRONG with you?"

Yup, after this, I started TALKING to the ghost.

Instance 6
The sink drain in my bathroom has had some trouble draining for a while. I bought some Drain-O today in an attempt to unclog it myself. I have used Drain-O before, it's a wonderful product that does the job!  The directions instructed me to flush the drain out with hot water after using Drain-O. I was in the process of doing this when again, suddenly and without notice, I hear a "boom" sound from my sink--the sound you sometimes hear if you turn your shower on very quickly.  The water coming from the sink suddenly turns into nasty black dirty water. It was pretty gross, but I was too shocked to react quickly. It keeps sputtering out for about a second and then after that, nothing will come out. GHOST!

You may say that the phone call is only a weird dropped call that got wireless airwaves mixed up, or that the duckie is malfunctioning, or that microsoft word is whack, or that the tap dancing on the roof was something reacting to the rain, or that my pipes are busted. But I know the truth. These are too many strange things to happen in two years. There is something else going on here. Call it a ghost, poltergeist, just an aura of strangeness in the room. I can't feel it. (I figure that if I can't feel people by stepping on their names, I'm not going to be able to feel a ghost). None of these things make me feel scared (except the phone calls); they actually make me feel more annoyed that anything.  But I know it's not just a coincidence anymore. Something is going on here.

...stupid ghost...

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Today I had my very first instance of logging onto facebook and seeing a post from a "friend" and not having any idea who this person is.

I still don't know who it is. I'm defriending her.
I think I've come to realize that no matter how much time I have, I'm never going to have enough time.
Two of my friends are getting married today! I go waaay back with this couple--I've known Alyssa since 4th grade. She is probably my oldest friend who is still my friend. I met Albert in high school, and that's still a long time ago.  Anywho, they've been dating for a reeeeeeeeaaaaaallly long time (meaning like...8 years, 9 years, something like that) and I am so happy to see them finally take the leap and tie the knot! Unfortunately I am stuck in Arizona during the wedding, but I can still say from 2,000 miles away: way to go guys, and I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Friday, October 15, 2010

I've put my graduate committee together! Everyone who I wanted agreed to serve on my committee. Yay!

(Really the only reason that I am posting this is because it makes me sound smarter than I usually sound when I tell people that I am in graduate school...for music. I do research, and I don't just write about "my feelings," I promise.)

The Simpsons makes fun of grad students too.
Dang it, my back hurts a lot, all the time. It's basically the only thing that is wrong with my body. I have the back of a 70-year old.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Top: Lexi, Kasie, Kaetlynn, Kelly, Kaysi, Jennga, Cuda, Mel, Katie. Middle: Ashley, Lisa. Front: Allyson.
Spitfire! These are my gals. The season is now officially over and I sure will miss hanging out with them at practices.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Savage tonight, ooooooh dang.

Monday, October 11, 2010

HEY! The Phoenix highs are FINALLY done being over 100. THAT'S something to celebrate!
Wow, it's weird...walking into my apartment after this tournament was like walking back into the real world. Back from the world of frisbee.

I'M TIRED.

Q: Ashley, if you are so tired, why are you posting on blogger instead of sleeping?
A: I don't know.

We had an 11 1/2 man squad at regionals, so I played a lot. My ballpark estimate is that I played about 55 points in the weekend. AND that was with missing an entire game and part of a second game. I can't remember the last time I've been so completely exhausted.

Friday, October 08, 2010

I have been so busy lately that I haven't even found time to make stupid little comments in my blog. Siiiiiigh.

Between teaching, practicing, homework, frisbee,  rehearsals, and lessons, life has been a little hectic lately. This weekend won't be any better. I just played in a TOTALLY RAD concert with Jeff Nevin and a mariachi ensemble (okay...the mariachi ensemble was the only good part of the performance. Whatev.). If I wasn't playing in that concert, I would have been flying or driving out to California with the rest of Spitfire. But the cards fell where they did, and I had to figure out a way to get there without missing the concert.

I leave in about 9 hours for Burbank, California. When I get there one of my awesome teammates (who is injured and unable to play) is going to pick me up and drive me to the fields an hour away in Oxnard. Even with all that, I will miss at least one game, even if all goes according to plan. And let's face it...when does everything go according to plan?

So what is this tournament that is so important that I had to go, even though I had a concert the night before?...Regionals!

I'm pretty excited about seeing some of the best women in the nation play. Even though they will probably school me like I have never been schooled before, it'll be cool to see such a high level of play; it'll make me better. AND we get our rematch with Mucho Gusto.  That is our second game on Sat, so hopefully I won't miss it.

Anyway, I should probably head to bed. Got an early start tomorrow, and I gotta rest up for the big day (or...two days). Catch ya on the flip side!

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Hey you kids...cut that out.

I totally sang Benny and the Jets at practice tonight and got it stuck in everybody's head. Phase one complete.

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Crazy, crazy, crazy weather today. Thunder. Lightning. Floods. Wind. Gigantic rainbows. Power outages.

I have never seen Phoenix like this before!

A lot of the people who have lived here a while (or for their whole lives) absolutely love rain and lower temperatures. But I don't see any reason why anyone should like rain. It gets everything wet, it makes it humid, and it makes ultimate be canceled. What's to love about that?

Monday, October 04, 2010

Totally finished my Stravinsky paper. I stapled it together at exactly midnight. The prose is only 8 pages long (with musical examples), but the entire packet that I am turning in (including the cover page, catalog of themes and motives, form chart, graph of movement, bibliography, and annotated score) is 18 pages long. 18 pages! No wonder it took me so long to finish this.
This paper stole my entire weekend away. I didn't even have time to practice! But I bet that finishing at midnight tonight is much sooner than most of the rest of my class. I will get 8 hours of sleep. I don't know if everyone else can say that...

Saturday, October 02, 2010

Wellp, not my idea of a fun Saturday night, but you gotta do what you gotta do, I guess. More writing tomorrow.

I just realized that I've been teaching flute at the Music Store for a year. Yay!
All of the COOL KIDS tonight are writing papers on Stravinsky pieces instead of playing Lego Star Wars with their boyfriends...or watching sweet videos on Sigur Ros...

Tomorrow, all of the COOL KIDS could have gone hiking, but chose instead to write more about Stravinsky pieces. Because they love music so much...they love music so much...

(fade into gloomy silence)
Yeast....


....sigh....


....infection.

Friday, October 01, 2010

I keep trying to write my paper, but all I really want to do right now is sing along with "I'm Gonna Be." Oh Proclaimers...so nerdy and yet so catchy...
This is shaping up to be a very confusion-filled year. I still have no idea what I am doing next year. I wonder if it being confused will ever get any easier.

On a different note...why am I not asleep right now?

Also, it's 1 AM and 91 degrees right now. AND the first day of October. Rabbit rabbit...