I will be in Florida from June 24-July 26.
FYI.

Looks like I will be able to work while I am at home. Thank goodness, I was looking at my bank account today and pondering the fact that this is the first time in my life that money may become troublesome. God will provide.

So far this summer has been extremely unproductive but extremely fun!

Well I know it's just a matter of time
When the fun falls through and the rent comes due
Somewhere along the line

Thanks Billy Joel.

GOOD JOB WOMEN
GOOD JOB WOMEN
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN PAID MORE MONEY THAN THAT.

I know it's terrible quality...but it's so freaking funny!

Everyone is getting married and engaged. What IS this, my 20's???

I like ultimate frisbee. Just sayin'.

Yesterday, Paul and I went to an Italian restaurant which we knew nothing about. It turned out to be really good--the food was awesome and authentically Italian, it was small but had an intimate atmosphere, and there was a really good accordion player there, traveling from table to table serenading. He played this song twice while we were there, and it was really beautiful, very musical. It works well on accordion. The second time, the guy at the table he was playing for started singing...opera-style. He had everyone's attention. At the end, the entire restaurant burst into applause. I know this sounds like something I would make up, but it's not.

Anyhow, I guess I never really realized just how beautiful that song is or how musical the accordion can be--it took the musicality of an accordion player in a restaurant for me to figure it out. We music majors sure are thick headed sometimes.

So I have this amazing power to freeze and shiver and chatter the teeth when the weather is in the 90's! How exciting!

Also, I rickrolled a friend yesterday. Using his own iPod.

Guys are always surprised when I am as good as them at Smash Bros.

One of my oldest and dearest friends got engaged today. I've been friends with her for a whopping 12 years! And I love her so much. Congrats Beth!

There are some days when I just have absolutely no motivation to practice or to do anything productive at all. Laziness...it's like a craving.

How in the world did I just sleep 11 hours?

Wellp, Paul is gone for four days and Brittney moved out today (for the summer). A bunch of my other friends are out-of-town, so it looks like I'm going to see what life is like when you're truly on your own...for a couple of days.

Another 4.0 semester. YAY! Time to go...be productive?

Predominantly women's league is awesome. 5 women, 2 men on the field. This is how ultimate should always be played.

Either I'm going crazy and all milk suddenly tastes bad to me, or all Lucerne milk is suddenly bad right from the store. Probably the first one.

Wow, writing that made me feel good.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
John 15: 12-13

I have been thinking about this a lot lately, about "laying your life down for a friend." I had never really given this phrase much thought before. Because of the verse that comes before it ("Love each other as I have loved you"), I had always thought that to "lay down your life for a friend" meant that you were willing to die for a friend, or in a friend's place. It makes sense. That is how Jesus loved.

I have to admit that I don't know if I would be willing to die for a friend. But that is for another discussion.

The more I think about it, though, the more I don't think that's exactly what the verse means. Think about it. Jesus is alive as He is saying this. He has not been crucified yet. The disciples have no idea that He is going to die for them. And He tells them: "Love each other as I have loved you"--not "Love each other as I will love you."

Besides, we believe that life does not end when we die; we believe that a new life BEGINS when we die. Therefore, dying in place of another is not "laying down your life." Dying in place of another is gaining life.

So what does this verse mean? I think it means that we need to love here on Earth as Jesus loved here on Earth. This brings me to another verse:

So he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
John 13: 4-5

"Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you."
John 13: 14-15

In other words, we need to be servants to one another. We need to help each other in times of need, and not think about ourselves. We need to give selflessly without thinking of the cost.

Sometimes people who care for sick or handicapped relatives, or people who go on missions in the worst of conditions, or even people who turn the other cheek to the everyday abuse from the people around them, amaze me in their capacity for selfless giving. But this is what we are asked to do. THIS is laying down your life for a friend.

Some of us may be called (or have the resources) to do more than others. Nobody ever said that life was fair. We cannot our help our natural abilities; we CAN help what we do with those abilities. And we have been asked here to care the most, to give the most, to be the most selfless that we possibly can. We have been called, readers, to lay down our life for our friends.

My teacher started the exam by blasting "This City was Built on Rock and Roll" from the speakers. Yes.

I got a big candle when I went shopping with my mom. The flavor is "Sandalwood Vanilla" from Slatikin and Co. (from Bath and Body Works). When I was deciding which scent to purchase, this wasn't particularly the best one. But it reminded me of something, I don't know what--the beach, maybe?--that made me so very happy. And now my room smells like happiness.

Darn you acoustic music. One of my friends posted this on facebook, and now I can't help feeling it. I love you, but goodbye. Oh life, oh life.

Clearly, our road has been long and winding
Certainly we have not reached the end,
For in this man whose kindness is blinding
I have found myself a true friend.

Wellp, I'm back in Phoenix and I have a ton of work to do and no motivation to do it. Oh home stretch, how tough you are.

Haha stupid Boston. Ssrandger vought me a rose tonight. I need to finish PEDAGOGY. pAUL is in UTAH where people don't pla on sundays...aaaaaaand I am wearing YELLOW! The HAPPIEST COLOR EEVEYRRRRR WWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I flew home from Arizona to surprise my mom for Mother's Day. It worked--boy was she surprised! Gotta love it.

I've had a great time here in the past few days. I went to the beach, saw Date Night, went shopping (SHOOOOES!!), got some great food at Mimi's, got to Stargate Friday it up with the Villains, watched Yanks vs. Boston with my dad, and tonight is still open for more shenanigans. We might go walking on the beach, and the beach at night is simply amaaaazing.

Unfortunately, cheap flights=leaving at 5:30 AM tomorrow morning. That means I have to leave the house at about 3:15 AM and get up at about 2:30 AM. Well, I guess I won't have to wake up if I don't fall asleep in the first place, which might be the best plan. It also means that I won't actually get to spend Mother's Day with my mom, but I think that's okay at this point.

One project to finish, one final on Monday, and then I'm done with my first year of grad school. You'd better believe it, fellas.

I hope all of my shoes fit into my suitcase.

I feel the love.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah.

More later. Tomorrow.

Tomorrow is going to be the greatest day of my life. Just wait and see.

About a week ago one of my student's parent called and told me that the student would be stopping lessons with me. I asked, "Can I ask why?" The answer I was given was that for the student's goals in flute, the mother feels she needs "a change." The student loves me, the mother said, it was all the parents' decision to switch teachers.

I was so upset by this. I am young and inexperienced, and I am constantly worried that I am not a good teacher. And this confirmed it in my mind--I'm not giving the student what she needs, so she's switching. I cried and cried after that phone call. It was definitely a low point. I have already been disillusioned in the world of performance, and now comes the rejection in the world of teaching. Can I do ANYTHING right in my chosen field?

In reality, it's not that simple. It was probably more like the mother saw that I am still a student, and she wanted her daughter to take lessons from a professional. She doesn't know me; she doesn't see what we do in lessons. The two of them gave me a card on the last day. My student signed it,
"Thank you so much, Ashley! I've learned lots of theory and musical interpretation I would have gotten no other place. Thanks!"

I'm not a bad teacher.

A couple of days later, I got a phone call from another mother, wondering if I could give flute lessons to her 9-year-old daughter. I didn't even miss a week between the two.

Life changes, and my studio will change. I have to realize that it's not always my fault, and I have to always have faith that I will end up with three slinkies in the end. (See Sat. Sept. 17, 2005)

It's getting hot hot hot here already. Highs for the next four days are 98, 96, 96, 99. Ahwahwahwahwahwah...(yoshi noise).

Okay, mostly for the FL folks, here's what I know about my summer at this point:

I will be in AZ, continuing to teach my students until about June 25th. Hopefully I will be able to find a job or some other way to make money while I'm here, but the outlook is not good.

Starting next week, I'll be playing in two ultimate leagues (on on Wed, one on Fri) which end the last week of June. I'll also be taking two trips: one to the Grand Canyon with Paul and another friend the weekend of May 21 and the other looks like it will be to Rocky Point with a group of ulti players the weekend after that. June 22, I'm going to see the Yankees play the Arizona Diamondbacks!

So I'll be in FL from about June 24 till July 21. Hopefully I will be able to work at the Health Department during that time, and I would like to take a trip to Buffalo to see my NY brethren, but other than that I don't have any FL plans yet. So as far as I know, that time will be beach beach beach and party party party!!!

I have to be back in AZ by July 23 because Beth and co. are coming to town! She's planning to move here in Dec/Jan which will be SO EXCITING!!! Also there's a music festival I still haven't heard from in Seattle July 24-Aug. 8. The National Flute Convention (in Anaheim this year) is from Aug. 12-15, and school starts again on Aug. 19. Crazy stuff!

So there are still some question marks, but I guess for the most part I have my summer planned out. Yay!

Also, for all of the band nerds out there, it seems that in a few weeks I might actually have a Rocky Point Holiday.



(Sorry, Paul. I'm sold.)

Last day of class tomorrow--no more class 'till August. Not sure how I feel about that. I'd probably feel better if I looked into the crystal ball and saw more than just clouds, an unclear future.

No matter. God will provide. And I will trust.

My new year's resolution was to go to bed earlier so I could get up earlier. It has been going very well so far--better than I had hoped! I've been asleep between 11-12 most nights, and if that sounds late to you then don't ask when I used to go to bed!

However, the past four days or so I've been going to sleep after 1 AM. I'm falling back into my old ways, it's not good!

Last night's concert was super fun. The energetic saxophone concerto, Rachmaninoff's beautiful second piano concerto, and awesome Tchaik 5. Do programs get much better?

I think that when I objectively think about it, I actually like playing orchestral second flute more than first flute (as long as I have a good partner to work with). It's a heckofa lot less stress, and it's fun to try to match and complement ideas and pitch. And you hear more of the harmonies, which makes the music more interesting.

I wouldn't mind being an orchestral second flute player as a career.