Thursday, June 30, 2005

I don't even know why I'm writing in here right now. I should be practicing.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Give up?
Never!
My tone doesn't sound awesome like it used to. Sometimes tones die for a couple days, I know that it's normal, but this has been more than a couple days. I want my dang tone to sound better, and I don't know how. I can't seem to get the same sound out of my flute as before. It's all airy now...and I used to pride myself on not having a stupid airy tone like all others out there...

Flute, you're going to have to work with me here.

Also, my teacher's solutions for the double tounging quandary just don't work for me. Maybe I have a very different mouth than everyone else. I don't know.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I just ate a whole bag of popcorn.
I'm going to have a lesson!

FURTHERMORE,
Colin is at Interlochen!!!!!!!
I opened my front door, ready to walk out to my car and drive to my lesson.
I saw no car in the driveway.
I remembered that my mom is using my car because the other is in the shop.
I calmly called my mom's cellphone.
I got voicemail.
I called my mom's work phone.
I got voicemail.
I called my mom's office.
Nobody picked up.
I called my mom's cellphone again, and left a message.
I'm not going to make it to my lesson this week.
BOOOOO.
And it will somehow be my fault.

Have you ever noticed that when people are mad, they scream at you whether you deserve it or not? They just need to get their anger out, and you happen to be there to let it out on.
I know that this will happen today.

I just wish I could have a lesson.

:(

Monday, June 27, 2005

No matter what,
I'm on your side.

I was sitting outside one day
When I saw the most beautiful entity
One white cloud among many gray
Floating in the sky so gently

Rays of light flowed through the gaps
Like the lace décor of a dress
Small droplets of water fell onto my lap
Who deserves to be so blessed

So pleasant, bright, and pure
I was thoroughly enraptured
Under a spell with no cure
My soul was instantly captured

My heart was filled with grief
For I knew it could never be my own
The sight was lovely but brief
My eyes couldn’t see where it was blown

Perhaps it was best this way
So others could enjoy its splendor
But without it all my skies are gray
For that cloud, there is nothing I wouldn’t render
-Anon Nemus

Sunday, June 26, 2005

WOW!

MOM
TOOT,
DAD
POP,
PUP
POOP
A
RACECAR.

YAY!

DEED
DID
A
NOON
GIG.

OTTO
GAG
HANNAH.

TOT
REED.

HUH?

ASHSHA
BANANAB
SCHOOLOOHCS
DROOLOORD
BEEB
TUPUT
ILLI
CATAC
LIKIL
MY NAME IS ASHLEY AND I SAY STUFF.
AHH

I don't even know.

Friday, June 24, 2005

I ran out of time to practice my excerpts today. AGAIN.
Stop distracting me, Life.
I really do need to practice.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

I am sick of not being able to double tounge well, and now I'm going to do something about it.

I will turn my weakness into a strength.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

The Who makes my life better.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

I had a dream last night, and it was weird and scary. It involved waking up next to a strange man who kidnapped me because a prophecy was told through music and only I could interpret the music correctly to actually know the meaning of the prophecy.
Yup.

The leads in Beauty and the Beast sound pretty good from what I can hear.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Okay so my computer has been acting up lately, pulling all kinds of jokes, such as randomly shutting programs down, pulling the "is not responding" trick, freezing, not opening the cd drives, not opening programs, etc (you get the picture). So my mom decides to get a new one. The new computer was installed today, and my mom tried to print something, only to discover that the new computer has brought with it NEW PROBLEMS. I just sort of slipped away as the anger built. It just goes to show you that even if you get a WHOLE NEW COMPUTER, there will always be problems.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side, you know.
As for me, I'd rather have a flower garden.

I need to stay up really late for the next two weeks because I won't be able to stay up late when I have to get up at eight. Hey that rhymes. With the March of dimes. All the times. On the mountain I climbs. Okay I'm done. Being done is pretty fun. Hey look I won! Please don't shoot me with a gun. I know I know it's the worst pun. Seriously now, it's all over. Wouldn't you rather play Red Rover?

Brain: Shut up.
Me: I like to rhyme. Like Fezzik.
Brain: Go to bed.
Me: Make me!
Brain: sigh...oh Ashley...when will you learn?
Me: Learn what, Mr. All-Knowing Brain?
Brain: shut up and go to bed
Me: No.
Brain: Yes.
Me: I will not.
Brain: What are you going to do all night, then? You've disowned AIM, you're too tired to practice...
Me: I can still play spider solitare.
Brain: You are the stupidest person even. Go to bed, you will be happy when you wake up and it's still morning.
Me: Don't tell me what to do. You don't KNOW me!
Brain: Ashley, I'm your brain. I know you better than anything else.
Me: No you don't! You're not the boss of me!
Brain: Actually I am.
Me: I DO WHAT I WANT! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!
Brain: good, now I've got you screaming..wonderful...
Eyes: We are pretty tired, Ash. Maybe you should do what the sqishy guy says.
Brain: Exactl...wait...squishy guy?!? Since when am I referred to as "squishy guy?" I'll have you know that I am the most respectable part of the body!
Heart: Hey guys, did you hear that? He said he's the most respectable part of the body! Hahaha!

Rest of body roars with laughter

Heart: You don't even know what you're doing half the time! You make all the mistakes!
Brain: You should be the one to talk, Heart. Remember the time when you...
Heart: All right, all right. I've made my share of mistakes too. But you still make more than me.
Brain: Do not.
Heart: Do too.
Brain: Do not.
Heart: Do too.
Brain: If I make more mistakes, then why does Ash turn to me more than you, huh?
Heart: Because you have more opportunity! Duh!
Brain: Fine. Have it your way, Heart. I know who is really correct. After all, I am a brain.
Heart: You know nothing. You don't even know what you don't know. You're pathetic.
Me: Okay guys, I don't mean to end your fun, but please stop fighting.
Heart: Hey, he started it
Brain: Did not

Heart and Brain continue to fight

Me: STOP! Can't you two just get along?
Heart and Brain together: NO!
Me: Well you're sure making things hard for me...

My Heart and Brain don't get along.
I am quitting Cracker Barrel. I got a job in the Brevard County Health Dept archiving files. 8 AM-5 PM every day.
I gave my two weeks notice today. It felt pretty good.

Everything else is going pretty well. I'm no longer in the trough. It's an upward climb from here on.

I've just started to become a teenager.

I'm thinking about the people I met at orientation and I'm thinking that college is going to be pretty good.
At orientation, they gave us each a little slip of paper and asked us to write a goal or belief on it. I wrote "I believe that nothing is impossible."
You know I believe it.


Dangit why are the excerpts so hard? No matter. I will work harder than anyone else. I will not let this challenge master me.

Anything you can do, I can do better.
I can do anything better than you.

Piccolo is a pretty fun word to say in a funny voice.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

I vocalized some of my circumstances. It made me feel better but it didn't really change anything.

Ask and you shall recieve.

Today was a good day.

I've never understood how, if a person has truly prayed for something, he could still deny the presence of God. Every prayer I have ever uttered with true meaning behind it has been answered. God listens. I know He does. I have seen it. I have personal evidence that cancels out all opposition. I believe in the power of prayer, and I always will.
People vastly, vastly underestimate the power of prayer. I believe prayer is the most powerful and important tool to every person. Period. And I wonder why and how some people do not utilize it.
Let us build the city of God
May our tears be turned into dancing
For the Lord, out light and our love
Has turned the night into day.
I've noticed that on online journals, whenever someone writes "cool people" it is really code for "the guy/girl I like."
I want my new life NOW.

I don't want to wait anymore.
I don't want to be sad anymore.

I want to be free.
I want to start over.

Friday, June 17, 2005

How?
I don't even know.

When making out my schedule at orentation, I actually began fishing for classes. I had to resort to taking flute choir to have enough hours. I will drop it, of course, when I put lessons on my schedule. But man.

HEY
It's raining.

AND I NEED TO PRACTICE.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Where is all this anger coming from?
Orientation was HOT, BORING, and UNEVENTFUL. Well, except for the time when my mom accidentally put lotion in the conditioner container and I smothered it all over my hair and...well...the outcome wasn't too great.
And except for the guy who juggled and did the robot and ate fire and gave a presentatoin like a very well-written book.
I like how he turned failure into a positive thing. It really appeals to me.

ALSO
I signed up for a NUTRITION class to fufill one of my science requirements.
I was in Clint's Eastwoods.
I met lot of people in the school of music.
I saw my room, and it was big.

ALSO, one of the days, I didn't get to practice and it REALLY TICKED ME OFF. How can there be a school of music orientation that takes up the whole day to not allow you to practice?

And now, I am EXTREMELY TIRED, FRUSTRATED WITH MY PLAYING, and SICK AND TIRED OF LECTURE AFTER LECTURE but I'm sure that nobody cares.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

I don't know what to say.
We're all so dang unworthy.
I can't even believe what I almost did today.

SALVAGE WHAT YOU HAVE.

I'll be in Tallahassee the next three days for orientation.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Is Krakhonia a country?

Friday, June 10, 2005

There is a character in the Lord of the Rings named Gorbag.
Just had to let you know.

I am meeting my roomate today. We are having a mother-daughter dinner meeting thing.
Yup.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

When I was young I ate four dozen eggs every day to help me get large.
But now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a barge.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Okay I just have to rant about how awesome someone is.

Okay so my piccolo is working fine, but one note has been the "trouble note," being more difficult than usual to get out. It's been like this for a long time, probably for a couple months. At first I just thought it was me, but it got worse, and so I started searching my piccolo for flaws. Finally, a few days ago I think I found something that might be the problem, so I decided to take it in to the shop.
So today I head over to brass and reed and I describe to Charlie what is going on. He examines the piccolo for a second, says "Yeah, that's probably the problem," and takes it to his back room. I expected to be there for a couple minutes, but it only took about a minute before he was back with the piccolo in hand. He handed it to me and said "Try it out." So I played the trouble note with no trouble at all. It was fixed.
I ask him how much it's going to be, and he says, "Nothing."
"Really?" I ask.
"Yeah," he says, "That was a little fixture."
And now it's playing better than ever.

Charlie fixed my piccolo and didn't charge me for it.
Charlie is the man.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Ron upon hearing about women's emotions:
"One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode."
I spose I should write something today.
Oh well.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Sit right back and I'll tell ye a tale of chicanery and woe...
So my mom finds a coupon (buy one get one free) for two Three Musketeers bars, and she gives it to me, figuring that I would be more apt to use it than her.

Pretty innocent, huh? Keep reading.

I am in Wal-Mart today, picking up pictures, and I remember that the coupon is in my purse. So I pick up two Three Musketeers and head to the self-checkout line, remembering the screen that pops up offering a chance to use any coupons. I scan the two candy bars, not thinking twice. I choose my method of payment, cash, wondering when the coupon screen is going to pop up. I take a ten dollar bill out of my wallet, give the money to the machine, and am given my reciept, all without any offer to use a coupon. I'm mad at this point. I remembered a coupon screen popping up! I just got ripped off. However, since each candy bar is only 48 cents, I resign to paying for both candy bars and head home, ripping up my coupon on the way. After all, four full-sized Three Musketeers can't be good for you.

But the story is just beginning.

I'm driving in my car on the way home. I'm thinking about the injustice of it all. I just spent 48 cents that I didn't have to spend! "Well," I think, "at least it's only 48 cents." But wait...was it only 48 cents? I had put a ten dollar bill in the machine. Did I ever take the change? I had to have taken the change...ten dollars is to much to ignore. But I doubt myself, so at the next light, I pull out my wallet and search for the change I should've had. Needless to say, the change wasn't in my wallet. It seems that in my rage for lack of a coupon screen, I forgot to take my change.

And that, my friends, is how I ended up paying ten dollars for two candy bars.

-------------------------------------------

My roomate next year is named Sarah Lawerence and is a voice major from Merritt Island High School. Anyone know her?

Sunday, June 05, 2005

78gt583wygfuy8723q8h COMPUTER

Friday, June 03, 2005

READ THESE BOOKS:
1) Great Expectations (Charles Dickens)
2) The Scarlet Letter (Nathaniel Hawthorne)
3) The Princess Bride (William Goldman)
4) Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
5) A Little Princess (Frances Hodgson Burnett)

I've been thinking, and these five are my absolute favorite [stand alone] books so far.

Great Expectations ranks the very top because of everything about it. The characters, the interwoven plot, the genius of it all. It really has everything. I can't even believe that book exists. When I got to the end of it, and everything finally came together, I had to put the it down and take a moment of amazement. What a work of art. I will warn you, it looks long and imposing to read, but if you're anything like me, you won't be able to put it down.

The Scarlet Letter is again a masterpiece. Such a range of emotions, this book really keeps you on your toes. The description in it is excellent, better than anything I've read. I really fell in love with the characters. It touches me a lot personally because it is so deeply intertwined with religion, and that gives it so much more meaning for me. One part in particular haunts my memory: the author is decribing a character who is, in essence, the devil, and it freaked me out so much that I had to stop reading for a while. The book has such meaning, and that's why I love it above all the others.

The Princess Bride is awesome. There's no other word for it. I have read this book four times, I believe, and it's funnier every time I read it. It doesn't take very long to read, but it makes you so elated when you read it that you just want it to go on and on and on. This book made the list soley on humor and awesomeness. You will constantly be asking people to read little sentences during the time you are reading this, I promise you. It's that good. Trust me, it's number three on the list. You don't want to miss out on reading this.

Pride and Prejudice makes number four. It has a lot of witty humor, but that is not the best part of the book (by far). The reason this book stands above the others is its impeccable ability to make us one with the main characters. We definitely feel what they feel; we are hurt when they are hurt, and we rejoice when they are happy. And okay, I will admit that I am a sucker for a good love story. So sue me. The thing about this love story is that is isn't totally unreasonable like other classics I have read: it actually decribes the development of love, and I believe a developed love is much more relevant to the real world than the sudden, unexplained passion shown in other tales. In other words, I can relate to it more.

A Little Princess, rounding it off at number five, is a charming tale. Heart warming. A classic. I feel warm all over when I read it (it takes only an hour or so to read). It's very simple, and it creates the sensation that you've entered old time England. There's no romantic love in this one, but there is a special tale of ultimate kindness and magic that is so memorable that I have to rank it with the other four. I have also read this book about four times, and I always recommend it to people but they never listen to me. Read this! It will make you happy!

And those are the five best (so far). Somebody read these please. They are awesome.
Man.
I love the feeling I get after a long, hard practice session. There's really nothing better, feeling like I've actually DONE something instead of just floating through life like usual. And I love learning all these pieces the excerpts are from. They rock! I needed new music. I've had the same collection for a while.

I am so going to be ready when the time comes. I just love devoting more and more time to flute and music. I love the feeling!

God has answered my prayers, as usual.
It amazes me the amount of recordings I've listened to in which the flute players play horribly out of tune...it's like they can't even hear it.

Some of my requested CDs came from the library. One of them is a Rimsky-Korsakov CD. I have listened to most of it and discovered that I really enjoy his music. I've never really had a chance to listen to much Rimsky-Korsakov in the past; he was always kind of an "eh" composer to me. But his music is really unlike anything I've heard before. I like it.

I'm re-reading Harry Potter 5 and it's pretty sweet.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

I feel like crying, and I have no idea why.
Yes, this summer is different from all the rest.

I wish I could've gone to Bible study tonight.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

I saw Star Wars with my dad today.

My dad is awesome in movies because he is half deaf and he doesn't know how loud he is really speaking, so whenever he says something everyone can hear it. In the middle of the movie, he went "Gotta love Yoda."

:)