Tuesday, December 30, 2003

This is Ashers cool thing where you use song titles to answer the questions. This one is The Who and The Guess Who. Because I'm stupid.

01. Are you male or female?: I'm a boy
02. Describe yourself: American Woman
03. How do some people feel about you?: Dancin' Fool
04. How do you feel about yourself?: Shakin' all Over
05. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Heartbroken Bopper (?)
06. Where would you rather be?: Magic Bus
07. Describe what you want to be: Laughing
08. Describe how you live: Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere
09. Describe how you love: I Can't Explain
10. Share a few words of wisdom: Follow Your Daughter Home and/or Hang on to Your Life and/or Share the Land and/or Clap for the Wolfman

Wow that was fun!
(exasperated sigh while shaking head) Some people...I just don't know what their problem is...

If anyone wants to do anything tonight please call me!

Monday, December 29, 2003

CtKitty9: youre prolly bigger than he is, right?
AIM buddy: by several feet
CtKitty9: you could take em
Ok I lied I can read now but I really didn't think I would be able to by now. It's 12:34 at night (and I feel all right!). Yup, my day was very exciting. I went shopping with me mum and got two new shirts and three new CDs with some returns and some gift cards. It's all good. Then I went to get an eye exam and the fun starts. Man they said the eyedrops werent gonna do anything but they apparently turned my brain off and I fainted. I don't know what happened but I remember waking up and not knowing where it was. My head hurt a lot and my whole body felt very wierd, not in a good way. My brain slowly put the pieces of the puzzle back together and I remembered I was in the doctors office getting my eyes checked. The doctor freaked out a little and kept making stupid jokes like "I'm the first man you have fainted in the arms of" and he kept rambling about how good the juice there was. Then he put some other eye drops in and they burned my eyes like ngjenjkfndnf too and he kept saying "your eyes are numb, they shouldnt hurt" like he didnt believe me or something. I contorting my face in pain and he said I had a very sour look on my face. What a dork. And indeed I am getting glasses, and theyre gonna look stupid. I hold a general opinion that all people look better without glasses. But if I can see better, than so be it. Then I came home and played mario party with ribiki and crag. Yup it was a very exciting day.

CDs: Riverdance (!!!!!), Dido (Life for Rent I think its called), and Debussy (Prelude to Afternoon of the Faun, Le Mer, En Bateau, and Images for Orchestra). But Riverdance is my favorite. I think everyone should listen to it.
If there are any really bad errors in this post its because I cannot read a word of what I wrote. I went shopping today and got a lot of cool stuff, invluding the Riverdance CD! Ive wanted that for a very long time and it makes me very happy that I finally got it. After that, I went to get my eyes checked because Im having a bit of trouble reading, especially music, from far away. They put eyedrops in my eyes and I fainted. Its because I have never hotten eyedrops before and never gainted before. I dont know what the problem was, but my head hurt a really lot when I woke up. Anyway, I have some very minor eye problems and I'm going to get glasses. It should be weird. The problems were so minor that I wasnt even a candidate to get contats. Anyway, they dialated my eyes so now I cant read anything for another 15 ro 33 hours. Whatev. At least I can listen to my new riverdance CD.

Sunday, December 28, 2003

I forgot all about this till I read Eric's blog today:
"As most of you now well know, cookie dough and microwaves were not meant for each other...throw a little styrofoam into the mix and you've got yourself a death trap."

Yup. After a night concert once, everyone was getting ready for bed back at their dorms. The fire alarm went off, but for some reason the fire alarm can only be heard on the first floor. Rebecca and me were on the third floor, so of course we didn't hear it. Our counselor suddenly comes running down the hall telling everyone to go outside. I was in the shower at the time, so Rebecca yells at me to get out, and hurry and she was leaving. Not even knowing what was going on, I raced to get clothed properly and put some shoes on. I ran down the hall, soap suds still in my ears. Once outside, we had to group with our cabins. It was pretty funny: half the camp was still in formal concert attire, and half the camp was in PJs. Soon we learned why the fire alarm went off: one of the younger campers (going into 6th or 7th grade I believe) who also happens to be a flute player tried for some unknown reason to put cookie dough in the microwave still in its syrafoam package. Well, we all know how that might end up, and it was pretty much the joke of the rest of the camp. They hit it hard at the talent show, but it was cool because he was the type of guy who could laugh at himself. I don't think they opened microwave usage up for a while after that (Luckily me and Rebecca had an illegal one in our room).

Haha everyone should go to Cannon and make memories like this. There are countless stories just like this one, just as funny or sweet and just as memorable. I hope I never forget.
But you know, a good memory is not always pleasant to have. Remembering good things can be bittersweet, remembering bad things is just unhappy. There are some times in my life when I thought I was happy and stable but when I look back it was really nothing like I thought. Sometimes I can be with the people I love and still be hopelessly alone, but I don't realize it till its too late. Ah but such is life. Some things are so blinding....
But no no I don't want to go into thinking mode tonight, I want to tell the funny Cannon story. For now I'll just try to take things one step at a time. You know, its much simpler that way.
I look back and see all the perspective changes I have taken over the years, all the ways my mind and personality have morphed and I have become the person I am today. And I wonder: was it all for good? Did it make me a better person? Some things I used to care about immensely I care nothing for now, and some things I didn't care for before have become very dear to me. Tough things have become easy, and easy things have become tough. In essence, I have turned my life completely around, and I really dont know how or when or why, only that I look back a few years and I am not the same as I used to be. You may not notice it, but you are not living with me every moment of my life like I am. I realize change is a part of growing up, but becoming a different person entirely? Is that normal? Oh well. I yam what I yam.
Ya good thing I didn't go into thinking mode. Bah.
To everyone:
I'm sorry if I have ever done anything to displease you.
I'm sorry that I make mistakes.
I'm sorry that I'm such a jek sometimes.
I'm sorry if I have ever offended you.
I'm sorry that I focus on myself the most.
I'm sorry that I'm so annoying.
I'm sorry that I just can't accept some things.
I'm sorry that I don't give some things a chance.
I'm sorry that I never listen to you.
I'm sorry that I ruin everything.
I'm sorry.

Dont know where all that came from, except I was just thinking about how many bad things I do every day. Scares me when I think about it.

Every day is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
You guys would all be very surprised at the number of times the words "I hate you people" cross my mnd when I'm reading through blogs and livejournals. The problem is, I don't even know why. Just some people (most people actually) whenever they post something make me think that. I'm a freak without a cause.
So yeah, there was this one guy at Cannon and the first time I saw him I thought he was one of the most attractive guys I have ever seen in my life. He ended up in my band sitting pretty close to me, at least close enough for me to get a good view of him. But as time went on and I observed, I noticed his attitude did not match hs looks in any way. He spat, used dirty language, had little respect, and gave off the general attitude of "I can get any girl I want." Of course, that didn't stop me from admiring his good looks, but it did stop me from wanting to know him better. By the end of camp, I was making fun of his actions with Rebecca. I didn't even bother to...hehe...
Whats the moral of this story? That there's more to a man (or woman, for that matter) than how he looks, and I know that well by now. Someone can be very attractive but that don't do squat if he doesn't have the right attitude.

Saturday, December 27, 2003

Wellp, I've discovered "Norweigian Wood." Prolly my favorite bittles song now.
Today I woke up (relatively) early to get a family portrait done. It would've looked better if it was later. People always look better when they have more sleep.

Shoot, I'm tired. But I have to take off all this dangmakeup if I want to sleep. And I'm more lazy than tired. So I'll just sit here and suffer. Oh the trials and tribulations of winter break living without a job or anything to do.
Allright allright I'll take a stupid quiz or something.

ignore
Your sign of frustration is....Ignoring! Instead
of dealing with problems, you ignore them.
Your theory to problems, is that if I pretend
they are not there, they'll disappear.
Sometimes this method can work, but most of the
time it doesn't. For a variety sometime, try
using one of the other methods, which are
discussed in this quiz. It might feel good!


What sign of frustration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Oh yeah and I hope you guys had a good Christmas...and stuff. I guess. :)
Time for present superlatives! (Haha I crack myself up)

Most expensive present
Speakers in my car, cost and instillation amounting to $300, from parents.

Weirdest present
A tire gauge, from my grandpa. Weird.

Best smelling present
Bath and Body Works lotion and body wash, Sweet Pea, from Shannon. Man that stuff smells good.

Present most likely to be regifted
None. Everything I got was awesome!

Presents with a theme (I dont think thats a superlative but I like it)
Lord of the Rings merchandise: The Two Towers extended DVD, The Two Towers soundtrack, The Return of the King soundtrack, and The Two Towers day by day calendar (I'm gonna save all the pictures of Frodo.)

Funniest Present
The Lion King special edition DVD from Rebecca. I love the Lion King. I can't wait to watch it.

Best-tasting present
I don't know, but that fudge Rebecca made was pretty amazing. Kudos to that, my friend.

Most depressing present
Evanesance CD from mon oncle. Man every song on that is like a depressing breakup song or a depressing "I-want-you back" song or a depressing "I'll-do-anything-for-you-but-you'll-never-feel-the-same-way" song, but they are all totally awesome nonetheless.

....and, for the grand finale...
Best Present
Being able to celebrate the birth of Christ with my beloved family. (Aww but its true)

Ya know, opening a present you really really want or really really like is wonderful, but seeing someone open a present from you that they really really wanted or really really like is even better.

I also got to play some old school games on the 64 with Jill and Craig and Rebecca because Craig forgot his Gamecube controllers from school. Those were some good games we played back then, I'll tell ya. We went through Goldeneye, Mario Tennis, Crusin' World, Worms Armegaddeon, Battle Tanks (the stupidest game ever), Perfect Dark, F Zero X, and prolly ome other stuff that I can't remember. I even wanted to play old school Smash Bros. but we never got to it. I'm better at everything than I used to be, or Craig got worse. In some games it used to be unspeakable for me to win, but tonight I started winning. Yay! Oh happy days.
Also we played Christmas music. That was the best.

Ya know, when I start thinking about it, (What? Ash thinks about things?) I have so much to thank God for. I believe God has blessed me with a beautiful life full of beautiful people and wonderous events. I focus too much on the bad, and I often forget to count my blessings, although I certainly try to live every day as it was my last! Just one bad thing will happen to me among hundreds of good things and all I'll be able to think about is the bad thing and how it is going to ruin all the good things. And I'm sorry for that. But not gonna do it tonight. I'm here tonight to say my life is blessed, and nothing is ever going to change that!

THE GOOD OLD DAYS ARE RIGHT NOW!

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Okay....that was awesome. Usually I'm not on hyper mode the whole night, but tonight I was, till about midnight. Hyper mode is s'dang fun!

Happy Holidays if I don't write before then!
Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel.

Monday, December 22, 2003

But I'll show them...I've got super dumb ninja secret agent skills and I'll kill them all with wooden swords from medieval times.
Every time an intelligent or worthwile thought enters my mind I repress it to remain the jolly, innocent, stupid person of the group.

Sunday, December 21, 2003

Man I've been movin a mile a minute ever since school ended.
on the go
on the go
on the go go go.

Today is no different, bro.

Keep your head up, people. Its a harsh world out there. Sometimes.

Friday, December 19, 2003

My first babysitting experience tonight. Should be interesting. Pray for me, people.

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Just finished LOTR: Return of the King. What did I think? I was slightly dissipointed. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was an awesome movie thats right up there with the other two. But the third book was just so amazing that it built me up for some phenonmonal movie and I just didnt get what I thought I would. Also, in my opinion some parts of it were overdone a little and got a bit too dramatic, but it was effective nontheless. I thought the first and second movie were better than the books but the third book beats the movie by far.
Still, the RoTK had amazing acting, amazing cinemetography, amazing costume design, sets, music (man theres no beatin that Rohan theme), etc. like usual. And it evoked more emotion than ever before. (Ill try not to give anything away but if you really dont want to know anything then dont read the rest of this paragraph.) Theres a part at the end where everyone was crying but Frodo and he was looking around at everyone crying and you could tell he was just as sad as everyone else was but somehow he just didn't cry like they did. Likewise, all the girls sitting with me in the theatre were crying at that point. I looked around at them and I felt the same things they did (I think) but I just didnt cry like them.
The last time I cried was at Cannon for numerous reasons (homesickness especially for my mom, lonliness, PMS, bad audition results, lost lipstick mode to start with) but before that I honestly can say I dont remember the last time I cried. I know I've never cried at a movie. I'm a robot when it comes to that stuff. Alyssa calls me a freak of nature. Yeah maybe.

Watch out because the rest of the post is gonna be complaining and stuff you dont care about so you can just stop right now if youd like.

Allright, whats with the whole deal of getting mad at me all of a sudden? I know I've changed a lot: I'm much louder, more obnoxious, more pushy, bolder, and more annoying, more girly girl, and (if its possible,) slower, along with other things, than before. Which reminds me:
Note to self: Dont talk anymore
Anyway, I know I'm all those things. Maybe its the people I'm hanging out with, which I highly doubt because Ive been hanging out with the same people for a long time. Maybe it's the stress of becoming a sort of "forced" leader. Heavens knows I'm not fit to be a leader....for anything...Maybe its just the way I was meant to be and its a part of me growing up. Maybe its the piled up responsibilities. Maybe I'm actually learning how to say what I think, instead of just letting things boil up in my mind before my head explodes.
But even with all these changes, people are getting mad at me for the stupidest reasons all of a sudden. I just want to cuss them out sometimes. Maybe give em a good kick in the head to let em know what reality is. Just enjoy life. Ugh. I need a break from people. Especially stupid ones. Oh yay we have a winter break. Thats very good.
And I can assure you that at least one (maybe more) person is gonna take this too personally and get mad at me (for a stupid reason-case and point).

Ya know whats hard? When you can't celebrate if youre happy about something. A good example was last year when I made drum major. I couldn't say a whole lot because some of my really good friends weren't happy with the results, and I was pretty much the only one happy with how things turned out. It sucks a lot when things like that happen, and it's starting to happen to me more often.

A whole new subject. Sometimes I just wish I could make guys like me. Not be able to care what other people think of me or them or what they think of other people. But it's not that simple. If they like me, either I don't know about it or there's a catch. If I like them, they never know about it because they would never guess it through my actions. Or they're just dumb. I just want things to go my way for once. Yeah I say "for once" but things have definitely gone my way before. I guess I'm lucky but I'm having a hard time seeing how at the moment. Realtionship-onally speaking, that is. I know I'm lucky in other ways of course. It just that such exciting new things are happening to many of my friends, and I'm just....sorta....here.

Last night was the devil. Got home pretty late to start with, but that wasn't the problem at all. I think it was around 11:15 when I tried to get to bed. I couldn't get to sleep until 1:30. I've been feeling very sick lately and I couldn't breathe through my nose and I was burning up and everything hurt and it just sucked. Then, once I got to sleep, I could only slept for short periods of time. I finally woke up at 5:00 and couldnt go back to sleep. Hooray for four hours of sleep when youre trying to fight being sick. But then the most amazing thing happened. In the morning, when I got up, I felt about 50% better. Magically. It was like none of that tossing and turning and feeling like bad ever happened, but I know it did. And I was convinced all night that I would feel like crope in the morning and that I'd have to miss the best day of zero block and wondering if I was gonna be okay for fourth block's exam. But then I get up and I feel better. I dont know whats up with that.

Something happy to even out all of the bad in this post...hmmm.
Amanda K and Neha and whoever bought the twizzlers in the theatre gave me lotsa candy opportunities today and it was very very good. :)

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

I'm in a negative mood

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Oh man. The Central Steppes (sp?) of Asia in orchestra. I can honestly say that's my favorite piece of music I have ever heard. But it's not like I've never heard it before today....it was amazing two years ago too. Maybe I was just adreneline pumped today because we were going to play it, maybe I was just in a sentimental mood, but that song touches me like no other song. I had goosebumps the whole time we played it. I can't get over how beautiful it is. So pure, so exposed, so touching. Beautiful solos, beautiful melodies, sweeping crescendos that make you want to cry, man I live for that kind of music.

Also Childrens March and Variations on Hyden themes and Chorale and Alleluia, man that will make one heckofa program if thats what we end up playing. I really wanted to do Lincolnshire though :( I also really liked Liturgical Church Music. But, sadly, its not up to me to decide what we play. And if someday it is my choice, I wont be able to play it, I'll have to conduct it. What an [insert adjective here] world we live in.

Wish me luck on my physics exam ::grimace::
I was driving home today when it hit me:

WE ONLY HAVE TWO MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL LEFT. And theyre not even normal days. Theyre short exam days, which are much, much better. Plus I get to hang in Calc, with only half the students there.

I noticed theres a 2:1 boy:girl ratio in that class. Pretty interesting. And I think I'm the only girl junior. Even more interesting. It's like my music theory class in Cannon. There were ten boys and only two girls, me and Judith. Oh man those were the days. Dont get me started on Cannon, brain. I had a long conversation in lunch with Rebecca about cannon. I'm really glad theres someone I can talk to about it. I would go crazy if there wasnt. Funny how you think a month of your life isnt that long, but it really is. If you spent a month srtanded on an island with someone, youd get to know em pretty well. Thats what cannon was like, in a lesser sense. Youre with these same people for a whole month, and you all have a common love: music. And its so bittersweet because all the friends you make leave you after a month. I wonder if I'll ever forget all of them. Every once in a while I'll see someone and I'll think its someone from cannon. Like "Hey Megan!! Ohh..youre not Megan. Sorry"

Ugh I wish I was still at cannon. Pure music and friends. Thats what life should be like. And from what Craig says about college, thats what it is like. So Im ready. Oh wait I still have a year and a half of high school. Oh well high schools pretty cool too. I think...

Hello to my buds at cannon: Joelle, Eric, Megan, Melissa, Eva, Matt, William, Laura, Lauren, other Eric, Cristine, Paul (biology!), Bobby, Sarah, and if I missed anyone I'm sorry but you people prolly dont read this anyway!

Exam study time. OOOOHHH YEAAHHH!!!!

Monday, December 15, 2003

Just an ordinary day.
It's not so bad.
At least they're all friends.
Most of them.
Except for the ones who don't know I exist.
Sigh.

Yup yup yup exams and stuff. The highlight of this week is gonna be LOTR: Return of Da King on Thursday. I can't wait. The Lord of the Rings is my favorite obsession. It has everything I would want in a fantasy world. I wish I lived in that world. Then I could be an real elf instead of random people walking up to me and telling me I look like an elf. Is it the ears? Anyway, the movies gonna be awesome. The third book was definitely the best, and I have high high hopes for the movie. The first two didn't let me down. Indeed, they went far beyond my expectations. Oh man oh man oh man I'm so excited. I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait ::runs around the room a few times:: ::comes back breathing hard:: Oh man oh man oh man.

Exams. Bah I don't wanna think about em. I got my Calc tomorrow. Not worried. I could prolly get a 10 on the exam and still get an A in the class. Stupidphysics on Wednesday. Sound like its not gonna be to hard, as long as I take the time to look up the words and we actually review in class. And I gotta have a giant game and a giant essay done by Thursday for English. Thats the one I'm worried about the most. How am I gonna do all that? Along with practice and Christmas cookies (dont laugh, they take a reeeaaallly long time to make). Oh well. Dont stress yourself, Ashley. Only a few more days and its all over. Then you can focus on Mr. Liebermann, Mr. Prokofiev, Mr. Inviso, Mr. Baggins, Mr....

Sunday, December 14, 2003

I have so much stuff to do and I'm not doing any of it. Good thing exams are next week; good thing I'm doing great in all my classes.

Good thing I just made 50 dollars. Foos.

At least I've trained myself to not turn on AIM. Now theres a trap if I've ever seen one. Once I turn it on, I know I'll be there for hours. So I just don't turn it on that much anymore. Not that I dont like talking to everyone, but I always have more productive things to do.
I even made me a to-do list. A real one. Now for item #1: Calculus homework. Signing off.

Saturday, December 13, 2003

NUTSHELL DAY OF ASH
rehearsal
drive
rehearsal
drive
clean
eat
clean
parade
alyssas
blog
zzzzz

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Yup Im practicing and doing homework. Yup. Sure am. I am there. Doing homework. Right now. Oh yeah and studying. Taking breaks to practice. I am definitaly doing all that right now. At this very moment. Right now. I am certainly not procrastinating by writing stuff in my blog. Nope. Not me. I don't procrastinate. Ever. Especially right now. Because I am good, and I always go straight to work when I get home. Like right now. I am praciting and studying and doing homework. Cant you see? Im doing it. Now.

Kay bye.
and stuff
THE REST

152) Have you ever misused a word and it sounded absolutely stupid: of course. I hate it.
153) Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: I think there is a reason for everything but its not necessarily pleasant
154) Do fish have feelings: I don't know, thats a question for the fish expert
156) How do you release anger? laugh at it
158) Do you trust others easily: sure. maybe. I dont know.
159) What was your favorite toy as a child? the haunted house that my mom broke when she threw it on the floor
160) What class in school do you think is totally useless? hmm. I dont think anything is TOTALLY useless but the one that is hardest to think of a reason to use is history
161) Do you like sappy love songs? if they are good music
162) Have you ever been on radio or television: no but my name was mentioned on 99.7 because I won design-an-ad doing an ad for them. They said I was cute. :)
163) Do you have a journal: yes
164) Do you use sarcasm a lot?: I spose
165) Have you ever been in another country: yes Canada and the Bahamas. I know thats lame, but oh well.
167) What is/are your nicknames? Ash. Thats all I got.
169) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? ya
170) What are you worried about right now? my physics grade and all the stuff I should be practicing right now and exams in the distance
171) Do you think you are strong: yes
172) What's your least favorite thing in the world: world peace!!!....I mean, war. Actually not war but I dont know what I hate THE MOST. Thats making a big decision Ill tell ya.
173) How many wisdom teeth do you have? none! And Im so glad Ill never have to go through that again.
175) I need: God, music, air
177) I want: to be better at flute
178) I have: a new keyboard, and new speakers for my car! And the best dang piccolo in the land.
179) I wish: Father Murray wasnt leaving
180) I love: rock and roll, put another dime in the jukebox, baby
181) I hate: you. Haha just kidding!
182) I miss: the good ol days
185) I hear: craigs video games
186) I smell: the sweet aroma of air
187) I wonder: why Mr Sprayberry doesnt like me
189) You should: go out with me. Yes, you.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

To: The fly who lives in my bathroom.
So, Mr. Fly, we meet again. I knew this day would come. Things aren't going to turn out like last time. Oh no no. I am hundreds of times your size. I can squash you like a bug. Because you are a bug. You aren't getting away this time. Take this! (I throw water onto the fly to try to drown it, but it flies too high and gets away.) Alas! I turn to violence. I didnt want to have to do this. (I punch the wall where its sitting but it gets away again.) Of course. You think you are sooo smart, with your little "wings" and hundreds of eyes. Well I'll tell you what, Mr. Fly. I will not stop hunting you until you die. Oh no. I will never stop hunting you. And when your time comes, Mr. Fly, it will be a long and painful death. I will see to it. I will get you. Someday.

Today I was talking with some people in Calc and I figured out that if you had perfect attendance to school, by the time you hit eighty years old, you will have spent 8% of your days in school. Pretty scary, huh? Not something I want to think about, the amount of time we spand in school.
Man I love that class. Everyone should take it. (Calculus propoganda)

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

What the hoozer I just finished that quiz and published it last night where is it? I hate you, blogger.

Time for some life lesson discussion by Ash.
Today's lesson is about risk. If you don't take risks, you will never get what you want. You should never, by any means, let fear stop you from doing something, that is, if the things you want are sensible. Fear is a good thing sometimes I will admit, but it should not hinder you from getting the things you want out of life.
So if you know what you want, take it! No one is stopping you (unless someone is). You must take the risk of failure. Try working for what you want. Increase your odds. Then it won't be so risky after all. Reminds me of that song, "I Hope You Dance." (whenever I hear that I think of "Bring Your Own Canvas" lol) She says when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance. And I hope you do dance. Even if youre the worst dancer in the world, you'll still be having the time of your life.

This is from the yellow sheet on my bulletin board. My gym coach gave it to me a while ago to help deal with fear:
Dont worry about the failures or the let downs.
Don't worry about the fear included in risks.
"Fear is right now but REGRET IS FOREVER."
Worry only about the chances you miss when you don't even try.


And I will also admit that sometimes failure hurts. But that shouldn't stop you either. You should grow and learn from your mistakes and do better the next time, if there is a next time. Sometimes there is only one chance and that's sad indeed. I think everyone deserves a second chance. Learn from it the first time and then try again.


End.

Hey guess what I'm stupid.

Monday, December 08, 2003

Oh no no no. This can't be happening. Father Murray can't be leaving. Monica, say it's not true. He's been my spiritual guidance for years and years! He's the reason my church fits me so well! He was the person who made my confirmation special because I had to have surgery! He visited my CCD classrooms in second grade! He's been there for every sacrament, everything. And the other priest has boring sermons ): Don't leave, Father Murray! I love you!

Waaaaah.
By 50 baby. I'll get to the end someday...

102) Are you loyal: sorta
104) When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: off most definitely
106) Do you like your nose: A Stahl nose, to be sure...yes
108) At what age did you find out Santa Claus wasn't real?: 8 I think
109) How many pairs of shoes are in your closet: not sure. Too many.
113) Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides? on my sides. No one ever let me lay on front ever. It hurts like heck when I get up.
114) Dog/cat? cat!
115) Do you lick stamps: no hahaha we have the sticker kind hahaha
117) Have you ridden in a hot air balloon: nope., Sounds fun.
118) Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain: ...both?
119) Favorite TV shows: Family Guy and Futerama and simpsons and some other stuff. I like to stare at the Nasa channel all day too.
120) Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed: prolly
121) Do you prefer a piano or violin: piano
122) Are you a sex addict? yes!....I mean, no.
123) Do you know someone who has cancer? no but I did. Two in fact.
124) Do you like to argue: no
125) Do you hunt: no
127) Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum: i like both. Its hard to decide. Prolly a zoo.
128) Do you have a middle name? indeed I do
129) Are you basically a happy person: yeah
130) Are you tired? yes. I think I have some kind of mental problem with sleep. Like I'll go crazy if I dont have sleep up to my standards. I'll like die or something.
131) Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today? no
132) How many phones do you have in your house including cell phones: 5
133) How long is your hair: long enough to do braids again :)
134) Do you get along with your parents? ummm.....uh.....I guess so. When I'm in a good mood and they are in a good mood.
135) What color of eyes do you prefer: intense anything.
136) First name: Hey! You asked me that already. I'll be a Titusville High teacher and say "I'm not gonna say this twice"
137) Were you named after anyone? everyone whos older than me....lol...actually yeah I was named after some soap opera character. Exciting, ya?
138) Do you wish on stars? yes. Blast those stars.
139) When did you last cry: at Cannon
141) Do you like your handwriting: yes
147) If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself: Its hard to say. Well we'd sure have a lot in common. I think people make friends depending on more than personality and how well they get along, though that helps. But how many classes and how much they have in common and a lot of other things have to do with it too.

AND THATS THAT.
Oh yeah....
I'm gonna be away at Tallahassee all weekend
Good timing, Ashley.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Heres the next 50...this is a loong quizzie-poo

DO YOU
51) COLOR YOUR HAIR: no no no
52) HAVE TATTOOS: no no no
53) HAVE PIERCINGS: on me ears
5) OWN A WEBCAM: no
56) OWN A THONG: ::cracks up::
57) EVER GET OFF THE COMPUTER: umm...yes....
59) HABLA ESPANOL: I guess not
60) QUACK: quack? sure

HAVE YOU/DO YOU/ARE YOU:

61) Stolen anything: not purposely...
62) Smoke: no
69) Depressed: naw
70) Suicidal: no
71) Obsessed with hate: no Im not very hateful
72) Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? ummm, no. I'm not weirdo
73) If you could be anywhere, where would you be?: sleeping at home
74) Can you do anything freakish with your body: I can bend my fingers back really far.
75) What facial feature do you find the most attractive: feet
76) Would you vote for a woman candidate for president: if she was better than the other candidates
77) Would you marry for money: I really dont think so. Thats throwing your life away. Maybe if I was starving or something extreme like that.
78) Have you had braces: yeah and they sucko
79) Do you pluck your eyebrows: ya
81) Could you live without a computer: of course
82) Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list, etc...? yes, AIM
83) If so, how many people are on your lists: not sure. Around 50 I think
84) If you could live in any past time period what would it be? The one with flying unicorns and magic elves
85) Do you drink enough water: enough to live but not enough to be a healthy water drinker
86) Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off: take em off
87) What is your favorite fruit: apple
88) Do you eat wheat bread or white: white
90) Are you photogenic: sometimes
91) Do you dream in color or black and white: I dont remember
92) Are you wearing fingernail polish: no
96) Do you drink alcohol: no
97) What is the best accent: I like a lot of different accents and the ones I like I dont even know what kind they are
98) Who do you want to kiss: Elijah Wood
100) Do you want to live to be 100?: sure

And thats the next 50. yay.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Guess whos in the Young Artist Competition finals?
If you guessed Ashley, then you guessed right.
Aww yeah.

(!!!!!!!!!)

Monday, December 01, 2003

Stealing from other people's blogs...my favorite thing to do...
This one is from Savannah's journal:

name: Ashley
sign: aries
in a relationship now: no
ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend (how many): no
ever done the long distance thing: no
do you have faith in long distance relationships: I won't know until I try
========================================================

HAVE YOU EVER~
1) KISSED YOUR COUSIN: prolly
2) RAN AWAY: no
3) BROKEN SOMEONE'S HEART: I hope not
4) BEEN IN LOVE: naaw
5) CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: no
6) BROKEN A BONE: not technically
7) DRANK ALCOHOL: no
8) LIED: doy doy
9) CRIED IN SCHOOL: no

WHICH IS BETTER:
10) COKE OR PEPSI: pepsi
11) SPRITE OR 7UP: hmm...I dont really like those kinds of drinks. They remind me of being sick.
13) FLOWERS OR CANDY: flowers make me feel warmer but candy is wonderful
15) QUIET OR LOUD: quiet, no doubt
16) BLONDES OR BRUNETTES: dont mattah
17) BITCHY OR SLUTTY: ...er...
19) PANTS OR SHORTS: pants

WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
20) WHAT DO YOU NOTICE FIRST: general apperance I guess

THE LAST TIME:
23) SHOWERED: last night
24) HAD SEX?: in my last life
25) HAD A GREAT TIME WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX: umm today?

WHAT IS:
26) YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARM: used to be Accu....but I'll never see HIM again, now will I?
27) PERSON YOU HATE THE MOST: I hate nobody. I almost wish I could
28) THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY: hmmm. Ooh I had one of those really good bar things in my lunch.

FAVORITES:
29) COLOR: purple or hot pink
30) MOVIE: Lord of Da Rings
32) SUBJECT IN SCHOOL: any music class
33) JUICE: melonade does that count
34) CARS: I really couldnt care less
35) ICE CREAM: hmmm. Prolly the one with the peanut butter cups in it. Or maybe Publix moose tracks.
36) HOLIDAY: Christmas
37) SEASON: fall only for the lovely fall scent in the air
39) MUSIC TO BROOD TO: Adagio for Strings, along with others

DO YOU EVER:
40) SIT BY THE PHONE WAITING FOR A PHONE CALL ALL NIGHT: if you think I would do that youre crazy
41) SAVE INTERNET CONVERSATIONS: not really
42) SAVE EMAILS: only two in my life
43) WISH YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE: very very seldom
44) WISH YOU WERE A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX: only during PMS
45) CRIED BECAUSE OF SOMEONE'S MEAN WORDS: the only persons words that have caused me to cry are my moms

BEST:
46) PERFUME: eau de toilette (toilet water)
47) FRIEND: Mr. Inviso and Danny Glover!
48) KISS: hehehehe I laugh at this question
49) ROMANTIC MEMORY: you really want to know about my personal life, dont you?
50) MOST RECENT ADVICE GIVEN TO YOU: "Do your physics project" from my brain two seconds ago


And I'm gonna stop there for today. I'll finish later.