Sin is a slippery slope, kids.
Don't give into the small stuff, and it won't lead to the big stuff.

I'm really in-shape now. I'm kinda proud of that.
Just wanted to throw that out there.

My mom made the connection today that losing weight is a lot like spending money. Well, inversely. Allow me to explain. It's very easy to spend money. Let's say I make 8 dollars an hour, and I work for five hours a day.
In one day, I go to lunch at Subway and spend 5 dollars. Let's say I get gas, and it costs 25 dollars. I then go to a movie, and it costs 8 dollars. I have almost used up an entire day's worth of pay. It's so hard to make money, and it's so easy to spend money...

Related is losing weight. Apparently one pound is 3,600 calories. Whenever I work out for like a half an hour, I burn about 300 calories. That's the same amount of calories as like three cookies. Sometimes people think that if they work out, they can eat whatever they want, but it's so easy to eat more than you just burned off. Just eating 500 extra calories a day can make you gain a pound each week. It's so hard to burn weight off; it's so easy to gain it back.

--------------------------

It's been raining every day since I've gotten back to Titusville. The thunderstorms started early this year, or maybe I'm just late.

Wow, it's Saturday. Without even meaning to, I haven't posted for three days. That doesn't happen very often!

I guess my life is just so full that I don't have time to post anymore (cough).

I smell some dinner (that I didn't make) that I am going to eat soon. Oh the beauties of living at home.

So I was talking with a friend the other day, and I concluded that cuteness and coolness are mutually exclusive. It's not possible to be both very cute and very cool. According to what I hear people say, I am very cute--but I have almost never been called cool (except when it's a joke..."real cool, ashley..."). Can you imagine, like, the Fonz being called cute? Of course not. He's cool.

You can be a little bit cute and a little bit cool. That's okay. Just not the extremes.

I wrote some more limericks today, continuing the series about the guys in my life who make good limerick topics. Here's one:

This one likes to take what I say
And twist it around in every which way
He gives me some cheek
Every time I speak
Sigh--that's the way some boys play!

I was cleaning out my drawers the other day, updating my room for grad school Ashley, and I found a peculiar envelope of letters. I went to a private Catholic school for two and half years in New York before I moved to Florida. The envelope that I found contained a letter from each of my fellow students in my class. Here are the transcripts, which I will call Letters from Children of Seven:

Dear Ashley,
I miss you very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very much. The Christmas play was good. Plese combak. We made snowflakes they ar Butifull. Danyll is Bak. we hav snow. weareomustfinishs with lowercas cuerof. wehaveanewrueitsblew. i will alwazs remeberyou.
Love,
Anieta

Dear Ashley,
I miss you very much. We got a new rug. How do you like Florida. How was your Christmas. We amost lerd all the cursive letters in lowercase.
Your friend,
Victor

Dear Ashley,
I miss you very very much! We are omost dun with crsof. We hav a nuw rug the cutr is blew. Weonute have 24 mor days of scull left. How was your Chrismis. I hop you will cum bak and vissit suwn.
Love,
Steph

Dear Ashley,
I miss you very very very much. I Got a barbie car for Christmas and a Barbie with a bike and lots and lots of other things. What did you get for Christmas? How is Florida? hope you had a nice Christmas!
Your friend,
Marissa

Dear Ashley,
I missyouvery very much. We got a new rug is blue. I gotfor Christmas mus a sega.
Love Dannyl
Your friend,
Dannyl

Dear Ashley,
I miss you very, very, very much. The letters weve done in cursive are a b c d e f h i j k l m n o p r s t u v w x.
Your friend,
Geoff

Dear Ashley,
we all miss you very very very very much we are gana muss you liek a clas I dont know a bot you dut I am runing out of ting to say ok thats it am out of things to say. Your frund,
Steven

Dear Ashley,
I miss youto. we got a new rug and were doing cursive exam and I hope you got what you wanted for Christmas I got half of it. we are not makeing are first camunyun we're not makeing it till third grade. But we are makeing first penints.
Your friend,
Andy

Dear Ashley,
I miss you very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very much. weve Ben Dooning lots of stuff. Do you like it There. hoh is it There. Thes are The litters wev londer a v s m n d b p v l u k h j f c
From,
Dan

Dear Ashley,
I miss you very very very much. Did you swim in the water? We lind cursive litter do you like your soli
Your friend,
Bryan

Dear Ashley,
I miss you a lot. I miss you very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very much. Hope you got the stuff you wated for Christmas. I got for Christmas 2 101 dalmation. Hope you have a good time in Florida.
Your friend,
Stacy

Dear Ashley,
I miss you very very mash you to. did you gut wat you watin for christmas. I did. did you gat tallre I did I will owewase mist you.
Love yaor fond,
Andrew

Dear Ashley,
I miss you very very very very very very Much. We got a new reg and it is blue. I Like you a lots. I got a kittin puzze from Christmas. My cats miss you to. I like your brie Hoses a lot.
Love your friend,
Caitlin

Dear Ashley,
I miss you too very very much. It is not fun being the only Ashley. Is it as much fun in Florida? The Christmas play went great. Did you have one? Well like I said I miss you.
Your friend,
Ashley

Dear Ashley,
I miss you very very Mach. what I got for christmas is a compuder I hope you lean cursive I hope you lern it soon.
From,
Michael

Dear Ashley,
We only have 4 more letters to lern and thoes are y, z, q, and g. We lerned Agativs. oh I hope you start your New Yera on the right Foot. I miss you very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very much.
Your friend,
Megan

Dear Ashley,
I Love you I wonder if you will ever come back to boffalo and come back to are school. oh! gess what my Grandma and my Granpa live in Florida to so maybe you will see them. Love your best freind,
Caitlin

Dear Ashley,
I'm sorry you haven't started cursive yet. We are almost finished with the lowercase letter. I miss you alot. I hope you had a nice Christmas. My two favorite gifts were a computer and a bike. I wish you were back with us. Corduroy is fine. Danielle is back.
Love,
Caitlin

Dear Ashley,
I miss you vary much to. I got my favorit present it was jumpsie. she jumps all by her self. I wish you had a vary good Christmas! I did. We swiced math groups and reding groups. Now we don't write about Corduroy we write about Danell.
Your friend,
Joelle

-----

(They lose a little bit of the charm without the handwriting. Still, quite charming.)

Friendship--I mean real, true friendship--is the best that life offers.

If you know what I'm talkin' about, RAISE YO HAND!

These kids



are my favorite.

Titusville ultimate happened today. HEY GUYS I'M GOOD NOW. So fun. I couldn't stop playing. I'll probably be feeling it tomorrow.

Somehow I've become the jerk that always calls the fouls. I'm okay with that.

Hello readers! I guess I forgot to mention: I'm back in Titusville for the summer. I already miss everyone in Tallahassee like woah, but I truly do love it here at home, where the grass is green, the carpet is soft, and the silverware is shiny. I also eat a lot more nutritiously when I don't have to cook for myself. Pretty great.

I do feel a strong urge to return to Tally sometime in the near future. Maybe for the women's ultimate clinic the weekend of the 30th.

Work is the same as it has always been. Free, isolated, monotonous, and in all ways uneventful. NPR didn't replace their anchor, they just stream a Minnesota NPR station. Laaame. Still, it's good music. I got to hear the Butterfly Lover's Concerto today. So beautiful..

I think I am going to join the Orlando Ultimate League. One day a week of Titusville pickup isn't going to cut it for me. I need to see a disc flying through the air once again...

ALSO I'm planning a summer recital for Titusville again this year. It's still in the early planning stages right now, but I can tell you already that it's going to be a really fun and awesome program (how could it NOT be an awesome program, if I am choosing the music?). I'm thinking music of the Americas, with dances from the south and Americana of the north.

First game night of the summer tonight! GET PUMPED PEOPLE.

My body is craving ultimate.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

So, my post from a year ago has been published. How splendid! Now it's Future Ashley talking to Past Ashley:

Hello Ashley of the Past!!!
Nice to talk to you again! It's really great how things have worked out! Turns out that I'm going to Arizona State for grad school next year, and you are right--it IS very exciting for me! When you were writing that post, you thought that I might still stay in Tallahassee, but no...I'm moving on, moving out, jumping ship.

The audition process was...a process. Ha. I applied to five schools, traveled to and auditioned for four schools, got accepted to two schools, and eventually chose the one that I will attend next year, which incidentally was my favorite one. I'm a Sun Devil now!

My senior recital seems like such a long time ago--I guess a lot happens in a year! I got to play summer music with the best quintet, but I backed out on the Mozart quartet and took on Prokofiev Sonata instead. It was a challenge, but a rewarding one!

My parents and Craig are doing well, and by the grace of God all of my relatives are still in wonderful health. That is, except for the pets--there have been two recent doggie deaths in the family recently. It's IS sad.

You're right--the idol David battle is old news! Cook ended up winning. I think the finale for this season is this week. I haven't really been watching, so I'm not sure who it's between this year.

As for romantic relationships...oh brother. No, no serious relationships have cropped up since last year, but that doesn't mean that those boys have not brought me grief. I'm always breaking hearts and they are always breaking mine, nothing really changes there, it's just with different guys each time. It's something I've come to expect out of life, and it's really a good time if nothing at all is going on in that department.

Something you probably would never expect that happened this year is that I have gotten really into ultimate frisbee. Come to think of it, a year ago...I had no idea how to even play!!! Wow, it's amazing what can happen in a year. Yeah, I started playing pickup with the gang last summer, shortly after you posted, and then I took a class at FSU, then I found out about the Tallahassee ultimate league, I got more and more involved, and eventually it became an important part of my life. I actually just got back from a playing with a team at a tournament. Funny how it built up like that without me even noticing it.

Come to think of it, it's funny that I play ultimate at all. The first time I played, I absolutely HATED it. Remember that? I had no idea what was happening--so frustrating--and I was so bad that I told myself that I would never play again. Why do something if you're so terrible at it that you bring yourself down? But all my friends were doing it, and since I didn't want to be left out of the activities, I decided to give it another try. I was still bad, but I eventually learned at least the rules of how to play.

I'm definitely not built for the sport, what with no hand-eye coordination, no power, no height, and very little speed. Basically, I had no athletic talent (as a sidenote, I DO have one athletic talent--I'm quite flexible. But that really doesn't help at all in most sports). But eventually I came to love the game, looked forward to playing every week, and got much better, and now here I am. I've met a whole new group of people who really opened my eyes up to a new kind of happiness. I had resided in music box land (at school) and nerd land (at home) and now I have expanded to sport land (at play). It's a different world, and if you don't believe me, come along home with me and then to tournaments and I'll show you what I mean.

(It's late, I'm tired and man am I writing a lot tonight.)

Anyway, Past Ashley, I guess the moral of this past year has been: don't be afraid to try new things, because you never know where they will lead you. A year ago, I was just another flute player practicing hour upon hour in a little box, and that was the only earthly thing I could rely on. Now I've found something...else. I've found that balance between work and play. Let's hope I can keep it.

Allright I'm really tired so I'm going to stop typing now. Bye Past Ashley, it was really nice talking to you again.

Love,
Future (now present) Ashley

Well, Surf and Turf was pretty dang great. However, I don't feel like writing about all that at the moment, so I won't. Maybe you'll get the lowdown eventually. My guess would be no.

Right now, I'm packing all my stuff up, getting ready to move back home tomorrow. This is my last night as a resident of Tallahassee. I feel like I have wrapped everything up sufficiently. There are a couple loose ends that may or may not get be fixed--but aren't there always? I remember leaving high school with a few loose ends, and everything seemed to work out okay (or did it?? dun dun duuuuuuun).

Packing four years worth of stuff is not really that fun--that's why I planned to give myself an entire day to do it.

Today is May 17, 2008.

Yeah, that's right.
2008.
This is Ashley of the Past speaking.
I just figured out that blogger has this feature where you can write a post and have it scheduled to publish in the future. Cool, eh? So this is the Ashley of 11:00 PM, May 17, 2008, writing a note to Ashley of the Future, scheduled to publish May 17, 2009.

Dear Future Ashley,
What up dawg! How are things going? I hope you're in good health and not dead. How's the whole grad school thing going for ya? That's probably what you're concerning yourself with right now, but I could be wrong because I don't know the future! How was the year with Mark as a roomate? Crazy? Fun? Miserable? And your senior recital, how'd that go? Did you end up playing Summer Music and a Mozart Quartet?

I just watched LOST tonight. It was terrible. I thought I was going to find out how the Oceaninc Six got off the island, but I didn't! Do you still follow that show? Do you know how it ends yet? And American Idol...I find out next week whether David Cook or David Archaletta will win (I'm guessing Archaletta but I probably would like to see Cook win). But that news will be a year old by the time you read this!
How's mom and dad and Craig? Doing well, I hope! The Batcho grandparents celebrated their 53rd (I think) anniversary today, so when you read this it should be number 54! Wow!

Did you graduate? I can't see why you wouldn't, but again, I don't know the future!

It's crazy to think that by the time you read this, your life could be generally the same as it is right now, but it could also be soo different. I could win a job (I take OPO second flute audition in a week, we'll see how that goes!), or a beloved family member could die, God forbid, or I could be in a serious relationship (not too serious, I hope, as it will be less than a year long), or one of my good friends could get married, or any number of other things. The world could end before this post could even get published.

So look over what you have accomplished in the year, how different you are from what you were a year ago. The change could be great or small, I have no idea as I write this. But as I trust in Jesus Christ, I believe that it is for the best! So here's to the unknown future and everything it has to offer!

Love,
Ashley of the Past
May 17, 2008

Dude, I just realized that in an earlier post I wrote "asses" when I meant to write "assess." That might just be my funniest blooper ever!

Four years of the same old thing, of no change, and then BAM!!! Two solid months of nothing but new. And these are all new experiences, all of them. I have to wonder how much these welcoming strangers have really affected me--have I been changed for good?

Another ultimate adventure for me this weekend: Surf 'N Turf in Destin. I am SO excited! We're camping out for this one, and I don't have a tent of my own, sooo...I'm hoping someone will have some extra space for me. Oops..anyway, it's pretty much the first time I've ever been camping, so very exciting. I reeeeeeeeally hope it doesn't rain.

I'm feeling a lot more confident about my ultimate abilities nowadays. People throw to me more, I screw up less, my throwing is getting better (still has a long way to go...), and I know what's going on at least most of the time. And actually, I know for sure that I am faster and more athletic then when I started this nonsense. It's not only something I can feel--it's something I can SEE. A girl I was playing with the other day asked if I played soccer because I "look like a soccer girl." That was a real compliment to me--I look like I play a sport now! How about that?

Anyway, as far as the playing goes, I'm sure I will play much better at this tournament, if only because I feel more confident. It's worth a lot.

And then there's the party to look forward to...heh. I trust that I will have a good time. Good, clean fun--it's what I do. (Hear that, you guys? GOOD CLEAN FUN.)

So bye for now, I won't be posting at least till Sunday, and then I'm sure I'll be tired like no tomorrow. You know, from running for two days straight.

P.S. To body: don't get injured. That's an order.
P.P.S. I've never been on a team before this year. I love it.

BYE

So many farewells...

Embracing the city--neither of you wish to leave, but it's late, it's late, and you both have been forced to admit that it is time to do what must be done. And so you part little by little, feeling the sting of longing with each inch of separation, holding on until only your fingertips still faintly meet...and then, you're apart, and you're left alone to ponder upon departing from that which you loved so dearly.

Say you to me:
"You're a bird with an eye for anything shiny."

I guess what goes around comes around, huh? You reap what you sow and all that?

I think my biggest problem with sin (besides envy--that's a big one for me) is not taking charge of my life. I don't listen to my gut--too often I just go with the flow, don't really think about the implications of what is happening in the present moment, and when I eventually find out what the implications are, it's too late. I didn't stand up for myself, for what I believe is right, when it could have made a difference. And eventually what I could have prevented has come to pass, and I must pay. In more ways than one.

In January you've still got the choice
You can cut the weeds before they start to bud
If you leave them to grow higher, they'll silence your voice
And in December you may pay with your blood

My heart hurts.
(A little.)

Today's national limerick day, apparently. These are the best kind of poems in my opinion. I've posted this before, but I like it so much that I'll post it again. I wrote this a while ago (not about anybody in particular, don't get your panties in a bunch):

Persistence is the valuable key
To getting what you want, don't you agree?
But it'd make him blue
If he ever knew
That I wish he wasn't persistent with ME

So, surprising my mom was all it's cracked up to be.

Man, the Club Pub on Tennessee has probably the best-looking patrons out of all Publixes in the world. If FSU's got one thing going for it, it's attractive people, no joke.

Oh, and I got all A's this semester. I ended with a 3.9 GPA exactly, if anyone cares. Which you don't.

I think it's safe to say now...I came home to surprise my mom for mother's day! Still haven't seen her yet, that elusive mother, but I will, and it'll be so great. This might be my best idea ever.

It was kind of a nice drive this time. Gave me time to think, to transition, to sort out, to asses. And music too...music can be good for the soul. I listened to this CD, the Shakespeare in Love soundtrack, and the opening title is really so uplifiting, it's almost like you can breathe in the music, feel its healing power flowing through you like air...

(Edit: the word I was looking for was process, but I couldn't think of it that late at night. Gave me time to process all the stuff that has been going down.)

But not in the old way!

The cruise...

We spent two days at sea and two days on islands. Our room was really awesome, with two bathrooms and a balcony. The food was unbelievable. One of the three pools on the ship had a theatre-sized screen in front of it so you could watch movies while swimming.

The shows were the best I've ever seen on a cruise. Special effects out the wazoo, Disney songs and characters, and of course really good dancing (and singing). No live musicians though! And I got to see Earth. It was really good, some really amazing shots there, and really can't back away on James Earl Jones, go see it.

What else...there were a lot of kids there. The demographic was pretty much the same as you see at Dinsey theme parks. That's okay though. I like kids.

I had lobster twice. I laid in a hammock for 4 hours. I got a facial. Be jealous.

I think I gained weight. I can feel it.

Anyway, now I'm back, and I'm pretty much ready to party every day till I start work on the 20th. YOOOOOO

It's late. I'm tired. Cruise was great, maybe I'll tell you about it later (in 10 words or less, as Sam suggested), now I'm back in Tally. I drove here bearing an inexplicable sadness. Maybe I'll be able to explain someday.

I graduated. Congratulations, me!

To celebrate, I'm going on a Bahama cruise vacation with Mickey Mouse and three friends for four days! Yeah, I'm pretty awesome.

I'll tell you all about it on Thursday...maybe.
For now, though, peace out loyal readers and take a break from my craziness for a while.

P.S. I love Sunday secrets.

GRADUATION TURBO BOOST GO!!!!!

Yeah, so, uh, I graduate tomorrow. I'M GOING TO HAVE A DEGREE IN MUSIC PERFORMANCE. BE IMPRESSED PEOPLE.

To attack without knowing the enemy's strength is foolish