Today when I went to the library, I had many choices of books I could've gotten. The PSJ library has hundereds of books, and I could've borrowed any of them. ANY of them. I have no restrictions on the books I borrow from the library: no restrictions by my parents, by the government, by the library itself, by my teachers, nothing. Today I didn't have to worry about my freedom in choosing what I read.

On that note, I went a little overboard this time and took out four books. Heh heh...

My social life this school year has been so...I don't know, nonexistant. To quote myself, "all I ever do is practice and play spider solitare." Except I have kicked the habit and now all I ever do is practice. But I really don't even practice that much, at least not at home. So I'm wondering what I do with my time. What do I do all the time that makes me so busy? It's not studying, that's for sure. I do work on college stuff a lot. I watch tv? No, that's not right. I don't watch that much tv. What do I do though?
Brain: You act stupid.
Me: Oh yeah I guess that's it.
So yeah, I'm still here. So are my little walls to leap over. But hey, it's all good. As someone once said, "Don't worry. Be happy." And you know that if you don't listen to someone, you're not going to listen to anyone.

Why do we say "samwich?" I mean, if we were to say the word incorrectly, we could at least use the letter that is already in the word and say "sanwich" instead. But no, we say "samwich." I never did quite understand how that came to be.
Furthermore, why does the word "sandwich" have the word "sand" in it? Do sandwiches have any roots in "sand?"
It boggles my mind.

Today I opened my closet and I saw about 50 different shirts I could choose to wear: any shape size or color. I could've chosen to wear shorts or pants, jeans or capris, jacket or sweater, sandals or sneakers, t-shirt or longsleeve. There are millions of different options. Today I didn't have to worry about having clothes to wear.

Well, I don't have anything intelligent to say today so I'll say this:
Ooga Booga Booga.
Or as Craig would say:
Uga Buga Buga

Brain: Ash you are really stupid.
Me: No you're really stupid.
Brain: I'm a brain! I can't be stupid.
Me: And yet somehow you still are
Brain: I am not stupid and that's the end of this conversation.
5 minute pause
Me: Brain, you're stupid.
Brain: Shut up
Me: I will not shut up.
Brain: Shut up
Me: Make me
Brain: I will kill you
Me: Ooh I'm scared
Brain: I can't believe I got stuck with you
Me: Tough luck, huh
Brain: You have no idea

Today I stood in the presence of four of my grandparents all at the same time. I could actually see the similarities between them and me. If I asked them, they would be able to tell me about the Depression, about past presidents, about WWII, and a number of other landmark time periods in history. They could tell me all about my family history. My grandma didn't speak anything but french until kindergarden. My grandpa had thirteen brothers and sisters (he was the baby). My other grandparents have a lot of German heritage. My point is, I am lucky. I have four grandparents, they are all alive and in excellent health, and they love me. I could learn so much from them. Today I am taking time out to be thankful for my grandparents.
------------------------------
Taped to the front door of a Bennigan's (sp?) restaurant I went to this weekend:
Due to the recent horrible quality of tomatos, Bennigans will not be serving them until further notice. Sorry. Happy Holidays.
-Management

Those must be some baaaaad tomatos.

Brain:
Ashley:
Love!
Talk!
Live!
Open up!
Don't worry!
Let go!
Enjoy!
Why is it so hard for you to open up?
Why is it so hard for you to speak your mind?
Why is it so hard for you to love?
Me: I don't know...

Today I talked to many people who cared about what I said. These people are my friends. Today I did not have to worry about having friends.

Prejudice. Labels. Stereotypes. These things judge a person before that person should be judged. Who are we to judge people? I can't judge you, you can't judge me. We don't know, we don't know, we don't know. There is so much that we don't know. How can we judge when we don't know so much? We can't judge. We cannot judge. We can't judge.
Readers, think very carefully about what you say, especially when passing judgement. You don't know when you will affect someone by your words in a way you never could've imagined. Just do me a favor and think.

PRISM

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

Oh yeah, and to the best of my knowledge, Catholicism is a Christian religion. Just so you know.

Today when I woke up I could see all the colors of the rainbow. I saw the sun rise, together with all its colorful splendor. I saw all the tiny details on our high-definition television. I saw everyone who I spoke to, I saw every place that I inhabited, I saw every path I walked on. Seeing today was as easy as lifting my eyelids. Today I didn't have to worry about being able to see.

On that note, I've been thinking, and I've concluded that Beth T. can see. She cannot see things with her eyes, but she can see. She sees in her mind. She sees things that we will never see. We all say "She doesn't know what it is to see" but she may say "none of you know what it is to not see." So stop laughing at her when she says she sees things. She may be blind, but she can still see.
--------------------------------
Mozart Concerto in G*
-movement 1 + cadenza
-movement 2 + cadenza
-movement 3 + cadenza
Muczynski Sonata*
-movement 1
-movement 2
-movement 3
-movement 4
Bach Sonata in E flat major*
-Allegro Moderato
-Siciliano
-Allegro
La Montaine Sonata
-movement 1
-movement 2
Reinecke Concerto
-movement 3
Piazzola Tango Etudes*
-no. 3
Mozart Rondo in D major
Vivaldi Concerto for piccolo in C major
-movement 3
Orchestral excerpts:*
-Beethoven Lenore Overture no. 3
-Brahms Symph. no. 4 mvt. 4
-Mendelssohn Scherzo (Midsummer Night's Dream)
-Ravel Daphnis and Chloe
Weekly Altes etude
Weekly Anderson Etude
Weekly Filas high register study
Work on tone, scale patterns and tounging:
-Moyse: De La Sonorite
-Taffanel/Gaubert
-Reichert
*Must be played memorized

This is what I practice in a typical week. All the pieces must be ready by the end of February. So don't be complaining to me that I practice too much. I don't practice nearly enough. Jerks.

Today I went to school for free. My teachers cared if I understood things. Today I did not have to worry about where my education came from.

NEW CDssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Bartok: Concerto for Orchestra, Hungarian Sketches, Muzac for Strings Percus Celesta (Chicago SYMPH)
-Barber Summer Music, Nielsen WW Quintet, Hindemith Octet
-Mendelssohn: Midsummer Night's Dream, Symph no. 3 (LSO)
-Berlioz: Symphony Fantastique (LSO)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They make me happppyyyyy

Concert today. It's going to be...ummm...::cough cough::....good. Yeah...good...heh heh...

I just stumbled upon a livejournal that sounds exactly like me, all the things that I want to say but don't. Have you ever thought that maybe everyone feels and thinks the exact same thing but finds different words to express it?

Yay! Today I had the opportunity to celebrate my faith by going to church! I was allowed to practice the religion that I chose, myself, not chosen by anyone else! I was allowed to publicly declare my views on religion! I was not persecuted in any way by my choice of religion or the way that I practice it! Thank you, God, for allowing me such freedom! Thank you!

My church has taken a few hits since Father Murray left, but now it's back to where it used to be. I really love my church; when I went to church at Interlochen and Cannon (and, may I add, that I did not attend Catholic mass at Interlochen; I went to an Evangelist service), I was quite suprised at what I heard in the semons. Often I would ask myself, "What are they talking about? What relevance does this have to the gospel? What does this have to do with Jesus?" And I got to see really how lucky I was. The sermons at St. Teresas are so intensely focused on Jesus, I couldn't help but long for my church when I was at those places (even though our choir is less than medicore and our youth group is practically nonexistant). I'm so lucky to be able to freely hear what I hear and to do what I do. And so are you.

Gobble gobble.
I will not go to Disney World tomorrow
:(

Well, it looks like I am the sole survivor of blogger. But until blogger no longer exists, I will stay. I will not move to livejournal! Poo on you.

I found the perfect gift for someone and it makes me happy.

My hand has a cut in it, and I do not know where it came from.
Also, the veins on one hand pop out more than the veins on the other hand. Why is that?

The house is quiet right now. Too quiet. Oooh I can hear the train in the distance.
When I take bike rides on Sundays I can hear the church bells every hour. I love the church bells...they emit peace and tranquility.

So yeah, today was okay. I really need to practice more! Today I was like okay I am not going to do anything tonight so I can practice the rest of the night but then oh no I'm not practicing oh no I'm not even at home that's no good now I can't play flute anymore. Ah well, tomorrow's another day.
I hate when I'm like "over break I am going to sleep like nothing else and practice my brains out and finally finish my book" but in reality I've slept less then a regular school week, practiced only about an hour per day, and have read a grand total of three pages of my book. Plus I need to clean my room and the bathroom because they are yucko. But, like I said, tomorrow's another day. Or, for this post, today is another day. (on breaks I always post a day earlier than it says because I end up posting late at night--after midnight)

I do not understand many things.

Plan of world domination:
Today: Merritt Square Mall
Tomorrow: Disney World
The next day: The rest of the world

I like the pizza guy on plates. He's cool.

Gobble gobble!!

It feels good to hang out with friends again, just like the good old days when we were young and innocent. Oh how the times have changed.

I had a dream last night that I gave a guy my dad's mashed potatos to eat and the guy ate them and said that they "weren't that great." And I got mad because my dad's mashed potatos are the best. Ever.

IN OTHER NEWS
Sometimes I wonder if, when people are being mean, they realize that they are being mean. If you say something hurtful to somebody, are you doing it to actually hurt that person, or are you just being mean unconciously, like the meaness has been integrated into your character? As much as I don't like either option and I'd rather have nice happy flowers and bunnies all the time, nice isn't always the reality. People are mean sometimes, and, for my part, I'd like to think that when someone says something mean that they are saying it purposely. I pity him who is mean by nature, that would just be horrible.

When I was little, the dials and lights on the dashboard of cars fascinated me. I always wondered and asked what everything did, but sometimes my questions would be hard to answer because I had a big imagination (once I thought a light looked like two people dancing, and I asked, "what do the dancers do?"). Anyway, one time I asked what was the purpose of the green arrows that come on when one hits the turn signal. Of course, at that time, I knew nothing about turn signals or lights or traffic laws. So my parents told me, "they are to warn the other cars that you are turning." And so it made sense to me: the arrows indicated which way you would turn. But, I wondered, how do the other cars see the arrows inside our car? It was a mystery to me; I looked out the window and peered into other cars but couldn't catch a glimpse of their green arrows. Well, I thought, that doesn't make much sense. What good is it to warn someone when they can't even see it?
I was a very inquisitive child. I asked questions regarding just about everything.
And stuff

Sorry about that last post, my brain was being late at night again.

You may not hint,
you must not hint,
it says you musn't hint
in print
THE STORY OF MY LIFE
-----------------------
"Life is too short not to cherish everything."
Happy thanksgiving, friends. And don't forget the true meaning of this holiday...giving thanks. If anything, give thanks for Jesus. Give thanks for life. Give thanks for air. Give thanks for the sun.
Give thanks to God, for His mercy endures forever!

I heard this before from something, a priest's sermon I think, but I am going to paraphrase. If someone held you under water and wouldn't let you go for, say a minute, and you were on the breaking point of drowning, and then the person let you go and you breathed your first breath of air, what do you think you would be the most thankful for at that moment? Air, right? Life? Freedom? So why do people laugh when I say we should be thankful for these things? They are not a right to have, they are a privelage. They may be taken away. Do not take anything for granted, because you do not know if or when it may be taken away. Everything you have is a privelage. Did you make any of these things? No! You were made with nothing, you were given these things. So be thankful that you have them.

That's not to say that you shouldn't be thankful for other things. It seems that the more people have the less they realize their wealth. The standards begin to be higher, more isn't enough anymore. Well I know that I personally have a lot to be thankful for, possibly more than anyone I know, or maybe I just think that because I am me and not you. But still. Give thanks. You have a lot. For example, if you are reading this, then you probably have a computer. And you have been given the ability to read. And you have the leisure time to read it. Be thankful! Not everyone has these things.

I wrote a poem on the poem blog yesterday, I promise I did, it was about practicing, but when I told the poem to publish it didn't want to and it errored instead.

ALSO, I wrote an essay for the FSU Honors program and the topic was to write a page of your biography 25 years from now. Specifically, write page 147. It was crazy. I wrote about how my superior flute playing abilities charmed the nation and kept classical music afloat. It's a far stretch, I know, but why would you write a biography about someone unless they did something great?
So watch out for May 12, 2012, when I am to make my solo debut that starts everything, and also watch out someone named Ervin Scott, an oboe player bound to be my lifelong friend. Other than that, I know not the future. After all, I only wrote a page.

And stuff...

True story:
So I'm playing in orchestra today, minding my own business, when suddenly I taste blood in my mouth. I look down at my flute and my lip plate is red from blood. Not having any idea what is going on, I wipe my lip with my hand, wiping away more stains of red. At this point, someone next to me noticed and I turned to her and asked, "Is my lip bleeding?" and she said no. I wiped my mouth some more and all the blood was gone. I had no idea what was going on, where the blood came from, or how it got on my flute, because my lips are in the best condition that they've been in since my cold, and I didn't hit my mouth or anything. Nothing more happened the rest of the rehearsal.
I played my flute later in the day for about an hour and as I was ready to pack up, I noticed that there was blood on my lip plate. Again I wiped my mouth, but this time I found no red.
It really creeps me out that I have no idea where this blood is coming from, and why it is gone so quickly, and why it insists on getting on my flute. Maybe it's a sign.
And I am so not making this up. It really happened, I have witnesses.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Go here:
http://www.muffinfilms.com/
And make sure you go in order when watching them.

Man. Reading journals makes me really realize how out-of-touch I am with my friends. Erin, I haven't seriously talked to you for at least a month now; Rebecca, I haven't communicated with you since I was up there three weeks ago! Alyssa K, I don't think I've had a real conversation with you since I've been back from Interlochen!
I miss you guys, and I'm sorry. I'm a bad friend. I wasn't too hot of a friend before, but now...man. I need to change some things around here.
It's because I never go online anymore. I don't know why I stopped, I didn't even do it conciously (sp). Maybe I realized that talking online was taking up a vast majority of my time. I do have a lot more time now, I'll admit. But what about the friends? The friends!!
Sharko: I'm your friend now, Ashley

Schwindt:
"You should fear me the most because I smell bad."

Do you remember not too long ago when I posted about someone I met who lived in Norway and spoke Norweigan? Well, today I learned something even more suprising about one of my friends. I'll still say, no matter how well you know somebody there will always be more to learn. And you never know what that knowledge will be. This guy over here, he flies planes when nobody is looking. This one grew up in Africa. This other guy, yeah he is ambidextrous. And this girl? Her mom is a famous movie director. Ya never know what these people are hiding.

Allright, who spilled the...ketchup?

Okay so today was the AWESOME/EXTREME TRIP TO ORLANDO ADVENTURE. FSYO was rehearsing at a location in Orlando that I've never driven to alone before, and I wasn't quite sure how to get there. So I asked for directions AND I printed out directions from Mapquest PLUS I gave myself an hour and a half to get there. Then, even if I did get lost, I would be fine...right?
WRONG!

And I did indeed get lost. I was so close to getting there, too. I was on the right street! You may be thinking, if you made it to the right street, how can you have gotten lost? Well, streets aren't exactly straight in Orlando. And at the very last minute, I took a wrong turn at a fork in the road. Discovering that the street I was on was a one-way street and that I couldn't turn around, I tried my hardest to backtrack, but I ran into many other one-way streets as well as closed roads and railroad tracks. Suddenly, I was lost.

Have you ever been lost before? It's a horrible thing. You lose your senses. You "lose your mind" as Schwindt would call it. During the time I was lost, I broke many traffic laws including:
-running many stop signs
-going the wrong way on two different one-way streets
-cutting through parking lots and bus only lanes
-turning around and/or changing lanes at solid lines
-surfing red lights numerous times
-speeding (duh)
-running a red light. At a major intersection. I've never done this before in my life. I was stopped at a red light and there were many cars behind me. I was on the phone with my aunt, and she was giving me directions, saying "keep going straight." So what did I do? I shot forward, and before I even realized what I had done, the red light had been run, leaving the many fellow cars behind me, waiting for the light. Those guys behind me must've thought I was crazy or a felon or something. I told you, my mind was totally gone.

So anyway, back to my adventure. So I'm lost. For a while, I drive around, trying to find my way to the place, but, of course, with my infamous sense of direction, the mission could not be accomplished. I knew I was going to be late to rehearsal when 2:00 (beginning of rehearsal) passed. Things were getting serious. I started crying (yes crying), more out of frustration than out of fear. I WANTED TO FIND MY WAY! And those stupid one way streets and traffic lights wouldn't let me. I had to do something. My cellphone was broken, but luckily my mom had the sense to lend me hers before I left. Ya know, just in case.

So I pulled over and called my my mom, sobbing that "I don't know where I am." Hmmm, well that does a lot of good. I exited my car and read the street signs on the corner to her. My aunt, who lives in the Orlando area, recognized the streets and helped me find my way. (That's when I ran the red light. I still can't believe I did that.) Slowly the tears started to fade away and finally I made my way to the rehearsal hall. It took more than double the amount of time that it normally would take to get there, and I celebrated in joy when I reached my destination.

Luckily, there was a guest conductor this week, so I got to make a REALLY good first impression. I was still shaking and tense with a rather moist face while I took my flute out, and one of my comrades told me "Take it easy." Good advice, I thought. After all, it's over now.

Not the one to take chances, I followed good ol Asher on the way back. And for some reason he wouldn't let me pass him, which was annoyong because he was going 5 under the whole time (It's all good, Asher). But it's okay because I didn't get lost. Hehehe.

What's the moral of this story? Don't get lost, because it's a horrible experience.

And I filled my crying quota for this half of the year. I'm human, yay! Too bad you all missed it again :)

Medeival Times is the best.
If you didn't go, then you are stupid.
The black and white knight was clearly the best knight, seeing as he won the tournament, but noooooo the red and yellow knight has to get all the glory. He won by default only. I mean, seriously, he was the only one alive. What's up with that, man?

To the black and white knight: "You're the man now dawg"

Princess: "I'm the princess and I say stuff."

My EBLK theory is holding up very nicely. Never have I seen an experiment prove the theory false. It makes me sad because...it does.

I could spend hours reading my past posts in amazement (reading in amazement, not my past posts in amazement. That was clearly a misplaced modifier). Usually, they still fully apply to my current life. Sometimes I fall over when I read something and realize how well it applies to current life. This one was written about two years ago and it still happens:

Ya know, sometimes I'll be walking along, and I'll have a sudden wave of emotions and my brain will go: "I wish things would've worked out differently" and then it'll be like "but they didn't and you are so over it. That's life, honey. Don't take for granted what you have now, because someday that might not even be there." and I'll be like "Oh ok I guess brain knows best" and I'll be on my way.

I'm so glad I have been given such a blessed life. Thank you for that.

Have you guys ever seen Farenheight (spelled whatever) 911? It's crazy! And every time Texas is mentioned a banjo starts playing.

Has there ever been a time when you know you were being decieved or manipulated but you didn't know how? You knew that something was wrong but you didn't exactly know what? That something was missing or misleading but you couldn't pinpoint it? That's the worst. That's also when you stop listening.
Trust is a funny thing. It's easy to lie to someone; it's even easier to be lied to. What is keeping the world from lying, and where is the trust coming from? Why should I believe what anyone says? I don't have a reason to disbelieve anything you tell me, but I also do not have a reason to believe anything you tell me.
This post is getting much too dark, and I'm gonna stop now.

"It's people like you that keep my faith in society."

Today has been a very good day. I practiced throughout third block and I got to read my book for much of first and second block. I'm tellin ya, I'm never gonna finish reading that book. PLUS I did my civic duty by cleaning and organizing the library during fourth block. It's really not so bad...ok yeah it is. But what can ya do.

Hungarian Dances and Overture to Egmont yEuh
Should've known that Marosi would pick something hungarian

I have been thinking (always dangerous when this happens), if you really, truly trust in Jesus, is it really okay to be sad when "bad" things happen? I'm not talking about sins, just bad things that happen, in general, that you can't control. Anyway, nothing is a mistake, everything happens for a reason, shouldn't you be happy that you are following the chosen path of the Lord? Be thanking the Lord for the opportunity to do His will? It just seems odd to me that I should be angry or sad about something if it is God's will. Eh. Just a thought.

It's all a conspiracy.

"Believe me, you must conceal carefully whatever wounds you have. Silence is the last enjoyment of the unfortunate; let none know your grief; the curious would call up our tears, as insects suck the life-blood of a wounded deer."
-Alexandre Dumas, The Three Musketeers

Austin:
"So a lady comes up to me and says, 'What are the chances of me winning the lottery?' and I say, 'everything to the right of 26 standard deviations.'"

Today, I started yelling at someone and I couldn't stop. The words just kept coming out. She said something that I've been hearing a lot lately and it drives me absolutely insane. The hapless victim didn't realize that I wasn't going to stop, and she argued her point, over and over. And I kept yelling.
"I'm sorry, [person]. I shouldn't have blown up at you, especially over such a small comment. Will you forgive me?"
That's what I should say.

Everyone thinks I'm so mild-tempered, but
DON'T CROSS ME WHEN IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH. Please.
----------------------
How's this for a prediction: I will not make all-state but I will make first chair in band.

Remember, Ashley, there is a reason for everything.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
shut up

The best part of today was in fourth block when I was straightening chairs and screaming the lyrics to "America" (West Side Story) in an obnoxious accented voice.
"Nobody knows in America
Puerto Rico's in America"

Or maybe it wasn't...

EGO ALERT STOP READING NOW
You know what I realized? In the past two weeks, I won a state-wide competition which awarded $500, was accepted to the FSU School of music with an $8,000 scholarship, and placed first chair in all-county. And who knows, in a few days more results for things will come out and with any luck it will may the most successful two weeks of my flute darn life.

Brain: Ash, you are really stupid
Me: Always there to keep me grounded, huh brain?
Brain: Shut up

And seriously...just...seriously....

Don't worry about that last post. Sometimes I write things late at night and I look back at them later and I say "whaaaat?" and I'm all confused because I don't how I managed to write or even think up that craziness. But you gotta admit, it's a nice idea.

I saw The Incredibles and it was...well...incredible. (You knew that was coming)

Time for some Myczynski!

It's just one of those things...
-----------------------------
I don't believe that any single person in the morld has one single soul mate. Do not misunderstand me on this point: I believe that soul mates exist. And people find soul mates and gain happiness for life. Just hear me out.
Think about the population of the world, and then think about the number of people you meet in your life. The numbers don't even compare! If every person had exactly one soul mate, then mates would barely be able to find one another! And what if, once a soul mate is found, (s)he spoke a different language, or engaged in activities which you renounce, or practiced a conflicting religion? You can come up with countless situations like these, and while love may be able to penetrate all situations, life for the couple's part may be extremely hard.

I believe, then, that any one individual can grow into a soul mate for any other individual. As we all know, every person on this Earth is different; every person is unique. Therefore, the interaction and relationship between any two individuals is going to be unique in itself. (Side note: just think, that means that your interaction with every person you know is truly unique, not only to that particular person, but also to every other person in the world! It makes your relationships feel a bit more special). And since every person is unique, no two people fit together perfectly at first meeting. You may argue this point wih me, but I believe it to be true. Love at first sight just doesn't cut it for me. To form a truly perfect relationship, compromises must be made: people must change and mold into a perfect fit.
Take one couple I know for example: when they met each other, one of the persons did not like to watch a certain sport while the other did. As time went by, the sport disliker changed to actually enjoy the sport which so encompassed the other's life. Of course, this is but a shallow example, but it is an example all the same.
So where was I? Oh yes, so people must change to complete the perfect relationship, and when the transformation is complete, there you finally have a soul mate. This theory opens up a whole new world of possibilities for soul mates: anyone can be a soul mate of anyone, no matter what the difference. All one requires is a willingness to change.

And that, my friends, is why I don't allow comments on my blog.

Yeah right!

I played Monopoly today and everyone had a monopoly or like 5 properties except for me. I only had my little oriental with its six dollar rent. Hang in there, Oriental!

ANYWAY
Remember, everything happens for a reason. Things seem much better when you realize that. Maybe in 25 years you will say "Man, I'm sure glad that happened to me back in the day" and you will discover the reason. But until then, you will just have to rely on faith: there is a reason.

IN OTHER NEWS
I'm happy because all-county likes me this year.

All-county: I like you, Ashley!

I recorded all my college auditions today.
All-county and all-state don't matter. If I have bad auditions for them (which I happened to have), nothing really happens except I won't go to all-county and all-state. Boo hoo.
College auditions, on the other hand, affect a lot for a long period of time. If I have bad auditions for college, my life for the next four years will be totally altered from what could be.
In conclusion, playing flute today was much more important than playing flute any other day of my life. Which isn't really true. My past life has led up to this day. Every time I played my flute, I have been preparing for this day. So theoretically, today is the least important day of my flute life. It's what I have done in the past that really matters. It just all happens to come together today and form into something society likes to call music. And that is what happened today.

Drop that long face!
Come on, have your fling!
Why keep nursing the blues?
If you want this whole world on a string,
Put on your dancing shoes-
stop wasting time.
Put on your dancing shoes-
Watch your spirits climb!

Shall we dance, or keep on moping?
Shall we dance, and walk on air?
Shall we give in to despair-
Or shall we dance with never a care?

Life is short; we're growing older,
Don't you be and also-ran
You'd better dance little lady!
Dance little man!
Dance whenever you can!

-Crazy for You
"Shall We Dance?"

Today I woke up and I said "Today is going to be a good day." And indeed, today has been a good day.
---------------------------------
Nobody is perfect. If you say to yourself, "That person is perfect!" then you are wrong. The only perfect person ever has been Jesus Christ, and while many of us are expecting His return, I don't personally believe that He inhabits earth at the moment. So no. That person is not perfect.
Just thought I'd share a bit of positive thought with you.

My all-county audition was bad :(

If I was in Sweden, would a swedish fish just be a fish?
If a swedish fish is a regular fish in sweden, I'm want to live there.
-------------------------------
The other day, I was talking to a relatively new aquaintance and he said that he wanted to go to college in Norway. I laughed because lots of people say to me that they want to live/go to college in Europe and I don't believe them. I asked him "Do you speak Norweigan?" and he said "Yes." And I said "No you don't" in unbelief and he started speaking in Norweigan. I jumped around crazily because that is just so awesome. I never ever would have guessed that he spoke Norweigan. I guess the moral of the story is that you never know what people could be hiding under their outward appearance, and there may be much more to someone than meets the eye.
-------------------------------
I play flute all my life and I admire great flute players. Most of us drive all our lives, we know how hard it is, why don't we admire great drivers? I mean, just the other day I saw someone pull into a parking spot, and the parking job was absolutely perfect. A 10 (Katie knows how my rating system is...it's like Mr. Jackson's grading system. Impossible to be perfect). Anyway, I commented on the beautiful parking job and my compainons thought me crazy. I mean, how crazy is it to admire something I do all my life?
For that matter, why don't we admire people with perfect posture? People who have beautiful handwriting? People who type really fast?
Eh.
-------------------------------
In other news, I'm in one of those moods that I am unhappy about something I said in the past because I said it on the spur of the moment and I was perhaps not thinking about what came out of my mouth. I can't change what I said, but it's still making me feel bad. Anyway. Don't worry about it, it's my deal.

IN OTHER NEWS
Allcounty is tonight, woo. I have to make orchestra this year, there's no choice anymore, because Dr. Marosi is conducting it. And there's just no beating the Marosi.
Hey Shannon and Will, remember the Titusville chapter of the Two Crew? That was the best.


Hey guess what MARCHING BAND IS OVER OVER OVER OVER DEAD GONE NONEXISTANT OVER WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
yEuh

Things I learned this past weekend:
1) Colleges will fight over me
2) High E's and F's are all for show
3) Everyone has stage fright-even Michel Debost, even Eva Amsler
4) Austrians are very good at playing jazz
5) You shouldn't judge a player by how he played two years ago
6) James Galway's friends call him Jimmy
7) The more I listen and learn about the flute, the more I want to play (practice)
8) Knowing a flute professor=money for college
9) It's all about the money
It's all about the music
It's all about the fun
10) Contemporary flute can be really really awesome
11) Charles Delaney is the man


In other news, some good stuff happened, I think.
I still need to practice. This is the point of no return: college tapes are scheduled to record on Thursday. I need to practice.

Ok right, ummm yeah.
So.

Brain: How's it going, Ashley?
Me: Shut up

Good thing the day before a competition I'm going to be hanging up uniforms for three hours and marching a stupid show for two and a half (instead of practicing of course).
Not that it matters.

Okay, so, ummm, what's homework, again?

Me: It's not election day.
Brain: Yes it is
Me: Shut up

Man oh man. I'm not going to wish for excitement, but man.

Tommy sounds kinda like tummy. And bottle sounds a lot like battle. And cake sounds like coke, and man sounds like mon and heaven sounds like haven. And stuff. Just in case you were wondering.

If you don't go to the wind ensemble concert tonight (perhaps to watch the election instead), you are dumb. Everyone knows that a high school band concert is much more important than a presidential election. I mean, seriously, you gotta put things in perspective here.

Oh yeah, one more thing: I learned in my lesson today that I don't know how to double tounge, for real this time. But there's good news too: I sure do know how to single tounge.

Costs for colleges:
FSU: $7,208
Other: $31,250
Other: $31,888
Other: $25,851
Other: $36,650

Not to mention that FSU tuition is already paid for in full in two different ways, not counting scholarships which are very possible in music and/or academics. Plus the flute teacher is awesome and it's close to home and I already know people there and I've been accepted to it.

Looking at this, it looks really really crazy for me to go to one of the others. But I have to try...

Whenever I pass someone I don't really know too well, or even when I just pass a stranger, I give them a little half-smile, as if to say "I want to be nice to you but I don't know you so I can't." Well you know what? This half-smile business is going to stop right now. I am going to start giving out real smiles, all the time. Nobody should recieve a half-smile just because I don't know him?


TIME TO TALK ABOUT MEEEE
Some good stuff has happened, I think.
I got accepted to FSU school and school of music (plus I'm meeting with the dean next week to talk about scholarships), my cold is almost completely gone, I'm competing for $500 this weekend, marching band is almost COMPLETELY OVER, and I was on the senior superlative nomination thingy twice (obviously my class doesn't know what I plan to do after college, because I have a smaller chance of succeeding than most people ever). Plus I just got pictures from Interlochen, homecoming, and festival.
After laboring for so long, it's all starting to pay off.
I'd say it's a good time.
Now if I could only memorize Hymn of Pan...

It's time to practice. I think.
Yes, it's time to practice.

Man it's all dumb and stuff.

Me: I can take whatever you deal out, Life. I'm not afraid of you.
Life: Allright, you asked for it.

Cold: Life sent me to ruin your day.
Me: Hahahaha a Cold? You gotta be kidding me.
Cold: Raaaahhhh!!!!!!
Cold Attacks
Lungs: Ouch! Hey that hurt!
Me: Cold, what in the fdihouidjklfd do you think you are doing? NOBODY messes with lungs. That was the wrong move, Cold. Let's get em, boys!
Brain: You got it, Ashley. Fire em up.
Fingers: I'm ready
Ears: All systems check
Nerves: It's time
Flute attack on Cold
Cold: Oh I am defeated
Me: That's what I thought. Now go away and never come back. Daylight Savings Time, you think you can handle that?
DST: Sure, no problem

Life: You may have won this time, Ashley. But next time....

Man, I sure wish there was more time to practice. As my mom put it, "All I want to do is go to school and practice."

Here's an essay I wrote for one of my more far-fetched colleges:

One of my favorite things to do with spare time during my middle school years was to listen to sound clips of the different instruments on my online encyclopedia. That is to say, I have always loved music to an obsessive degree. My answer to the question “Why have you chosen your field of study?” is really quite simple. I love music. I love playing my flute. There’s nothing else that I would rather do (right now or tomorrow morning or even on my birthday) than play my flute. Often, for fun, I’ll call my fellow flute friends and suggest spending two or three (or four or five) hours playing duets together. One of the best things about this field of study, music performance, is that I can rest assured that I will never grow tired of doing it.

None of this is to say that there aren’t other reasons I have chosen my field of study. Auditions have demonstrated that I retain a talent in music. One may very well argue “But tests have demonstrated that you retain talent in math, too!”, but can anyone really express themselves through math? Can anyone bring such beautiful, glorious joy into other’s lives through math? I cannot imagine that anyone can.

Also, music is not only a part of my life, music is my life. To eliminate music, to me, would be paramount to eliminating a spouse. I cannot imagine myself doing anything in the future but making music. My brain spent no time at all deciding what to do in college. There was only one choice.

I consider professional musicians to be among the luckiest people in the world. Every time I hear a flute player in an orchestral recording, I say to myself, “I hope that flutist knows how lucky he is.” The idea of making money by playing music mystifies me. It just seems peculiar to be paid for doing something that I would do anyway, something that I love so dearly. Specifically, I would someday like to play in an orchestra, since orchestral playing is my favorite type of playing.

I have picked up from professional orchestral players that attaining a professional orchestral career might be a little tough and that I might want to think about doing something else, because the world of orchestra is harsh. To those words I will now and forever respond: I don’t care. I will do whatever it takes. I will never think about doing something else.
--------------
yEuh

I didn't get to practice today because I had to put away uniforms. SAD.

LET ME BREATHE
::snarl::

Okay I gotta tell my funny story of the day.
I'm in a non-honors economics class with Mr. Spinale. Today we were copying down notes off the overhead and the teacher adjusted the angle, asking "Is this too high for anyone?"
The guy behind me answered "There is no such thing as too high."

Practicing practicing yay yay yay
FSU audition this Saturday
Why is Bach so hard to play?
Hey it rhymes yay yay yay

There's this one CD I have that I always used to listen to when I went to the beach a couple years ago, and now whenever I listen to it I can almost smell the ocean spray once again, and I can almost feel the carefree joy of no responsibility once again.
But when I turn the CD off, everything goes away, and I have to go to school and I have to practice for college auditions and I have no time for friends or for the beach. Sometimes memories aren't so happy.
It's like when you have a really really really good dream and you wake up and it's 6:00 in the morning and you have to go to zero block and circle drill. Well, it's sort of like that.

Then there's this other CD that I used to listen to long ago when I was stupid and inexperienced in life (not that I'm smart or experienced now, but still) and oh man the memories it brings back. Do you ever just search through things to bring back memories? I do. And usually it makes me very happy, remembering the good ol days....

Anyway, there was a Halloween version of fear factor and they had to eat scorpions and spiders and insect guts. It looked so delicious.

Someone: Life is so difficult.
Me: I don't think Life would appreciate you saying that.

Just kidding

I know what my purpose is.
It's time again to make some changes.

Jesus Christ is the savior of the world.

Robot, robot. Yesterday was worse than ever. I felt NOTHING. Sappy senior speeches? Nothing. This moment will never happen again? Nothing. Straight superiors (again)? Nothing.
Is it me or is it just marching band?
In any case, it's over. Over. Over. OVER.

Of course, this marching band festival still beats LAST marching band festival.

Brain: Stop being jealous and sinful.
Me: It's a little bit harder than that, brain.

Seriously.

Haha I got a happy gram from Leroy.

I saw Lee Hinkle in the band room today. It was amazing. I told Katie, he's one of those band legends that don't really exist. But when you see him, he does exist. So then it's amazing.
Anyway.

I practiced for many hours today. I practiced everything that I planned on practicing. I am happy.

Hindemith wrote a ridiculous flute solo in the Andantino movement of Symphonic Metamorphasis. What was that man thinking?

Festival and then IT'S ALMOST OVER WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
I hope there are no make-up games added; that would make me sad.

I have lots of earwax and my arms are very hairy.

A guy: You seem sick. Why are you sick, Ashley?
Me: I'm not sick. I'm just having problems that you...don't have.
A guy (smiling): You don't seem like it. You are always calm.

Guys don't know anything about the problems that they don't have.

OK, seriously, seriously. I just want to bring some smiles onto the marching band field during practice (we all know we need them). Yesterday I was saying really stupid things like I always do except someone took something I said seriously and now I feel all bad and some people are sad and blah blah blah drama drama drama.
Ok now that that's over with, I can start my post.

Today, I pray for healing. Healing, healing, healing. Healing of the body, of the soul, of the mind. Healing wounded friendships. Healing hurt feelings. Healing wearied bodies. Healing the scars of the past. Today, I pray for healing.

Today I had a revelation (is that really the right word? whatev). I was in my car being all sad about things and I was dwelling on the NEGATIVE. Something someone said to me today that really bothered me kept replaying in my head, over and over. And it was making me sad. And I said to myself, "I want this bad feeling to go away." And so I changed the music to a CD that emits happiness, and my brain told me, "Jesus will never abandon you." And it was like a million pounds was lifted off of me. Why didn't I think of that before? And then my whole perspective on thinking changed. Then my brain told me, "Your parents will always love you." And I thought about my mom and about how I was going to give her a big hug when she came home from work today.
And I was not sad anymore.
The moral of this story, I think, is to trust in Jesus and help yourself out. You do not have to be sad.

It's almost over...
just gotta hang in there for another couple days...
then it'll be all over...
forever...

I hope the Yankees win. I hate watching football, but I actually kind of like watching baseball, as long as the Yankees are playing and I'm watching with my dad. And I like when my dad is happy. And he is happy when the Yankees win games.

Yesterday I was hyper, but today I am tired. :(

Slow songs are hard to practice because there's nothing you can really do about them. I mean, when practicing fast pieces, you can take things slow and then speed them up until they are at tempo. Repetition and cleanliness are the keys. But slow songs? I really don't know what to do with them. I usually just keep playing them over and over and pretending that they are better every time.
PLUS I don't think I know how to tune and I seriously don't think I can double tongue. I pretend to be able to do both of those things and it works. Most of the time.

Hey, you! Yeah, you.
Ummm.....I forgot.

Hey where'd Philosopher Ashley go? She hasn't posted in a while.

Rite of Spring is pretty dang awesome. Especially the Chicago Symph......zzzzzz

This past weekend I spent 18 hours, nine each day, on college applications. It was so fun. All I did the whole weekend was eat, sleep, go to church, and sit in front of the computer. Seriously. I'm just thankful that I was able to do it all at once, that this time has been given to me to use. It was a perfect weekend to it, really. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the temperature was nice and cool...yes, a perfect weekend to do college applications.

But wait...
There's more!!!
Now I have to send SAT/ACT scores and high school transcripts, bother teachers to write recommendations for me, record and send prescreening tapes, send essays, repertoire lists and resumes, fill out financial aid forms, and work out audition dates. And each of the four colleges has different requirements for each of these! Yay! The fun never ends!!!

Oh yeah, and I hate the computer.

Okay here's the five people thing, if you read this you have to write good things about at least five people. GOOD THINGS. DO IT.

Erin-Ever since I met you I liked you. You have the perfect balance of being goofy and fun as well as hardworking and supportive. It's easy to see the fun side of you, but I think as I have gotten to know you I have learned that the best thing about you is your love. You are always there for your friends, and you are always caring and sensible and so helpful about things! I love talking to you, you often have much the same point of view as I do. You are a great problem solver and I have never been mad at you for anything (and that's saying a lot!). I know you're going through some tough times right now, but I believe that you can have faith and get through it all and be filled with a joy for life once again! I love you so much!

Rebecca-Rebecca, Rebecca, I miss you! I really hope you are having loads of fun at college and you are learning a ton! Many times have gone by where I think to myself, "hmmm, something is missing" and then I figure it out...it's the Rebecca that is missing! Anyway, I'm so happy to know you. You are one awesome person, I gotta say. You are so caring, so thoughful, and so smart! You are a very strong person (though sometimes I think you forget that you are!), and I know I can talk to you about ANYTHING and get awesome advice straight from the heart. I love your passion for the things you care about, music among them. You have talent, my friend! Go for your dreams, whatever they may be, because you can do whatever you want. Know that whether you are right next to me or a thousand miles away, you are truly a blessing in my life.

Katie-Oh Katid, I remember when you were a wee little one. Through the years we have had many laughs and I am very glad for that. You have also always been my flute buddy, the person I can talk to about my one true love in life. Thank you! Aside from that, you are just an amazing person. People like you automatically when they meet you, and for good reason: you have a wonderful charisma about you. You're outgoing, brave, beautiful, funny, smart, spunky. The list could go on and on! And you are oh so talented. I admire your music, and use your playing as an example for many things. Keep working hard, and try not to sweat the small stuff. For you, the sky is the limit!

Craig-You are my brother, what can I say? You've been my best friend my whole life. Well, except for that one time period when you were really annoying ("If you get hit, it's your own fault"). But I try not to think about that. You can make me laugh harder than anyone else on Earth, and that's the truth. You are so laid back and you help me to remember to not worry about things that don't matter. You love music, and if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't love music as I do. So many things I owe to you. I've failed to say it in the past, but thank you. You are a great brother. Really.

Asher-You are very dumb.

Shannon-Shannon Shannon bo bannon banana fana fo fannon me my mo mannon. Shannon. Okay, sorry. Anyway, you are very funny and awesome! I know that when I am talking to you, I am going to laugh. And when I am around you when you are happy it makes me be happy. You are extremely passionate about things, and that's something I think we can all admire. You're really smart and pretty too. And talented! (the all-state guys don't know what they are talking about. I'll punch them.) You are one of the many friends I made my freshman year, and luckily for me, you are one of the few who stayed! Also, I'm very glad for you that you became a Christian. It makes me so happy to see someone who has direction in her life, someone who knows what she believes. And someone who loves the Lord! Thank you for being Shannon!

Okay that's six (sort of) but whatever. I might even do some more later.
Hahaha I knew you could take it.

I am officially no longer a goodie-goodie.

Before you go to the dentist, you always try to brush your teeth really well in an attempt to show the dentist that you take care of your teeth that well every time. But once you get there, they can see the long term effects and the habits you have formed regarding teeth care. They can see through your little stunt.

I recorded stuff, so I think I'll take a break from practicing today.

Haha this guy is funny

ctkitty9: why does a fly keep buzzing around my head?
SmarterChild: Why does a fly keep buzzing around your head... Such a difficult question
ctkitty9: answer it
SmarterChild: I don't think I'm comfortable with that.
ctkitty9: answer it
SmarterChild: I will not answer it.
ctkitty9: do it
SmarterChild: Don't order me around.
ctkitty9: please do it
SmarterChild: Huh? What is "it" exactly?
ctkitty9: answer my question
SmarterChild: I'll take that under consideration.
ctkitty9: you better
SmarterChild: Oh yeah? I'd better what?
ctkitty9: answer my question
ctkitty9: There's no way I had better answer your question.
ctkitty9: why is there a fly buzzing around my head?
SmarterChild: Hmm... I really don't know why there is a fly buzzing around your head.
ctkitty9: its still there
SmarterChild: It's still there, you say?
ctkitty9: make it stop
SmarterChild: Stop what?
ctkitty9: oh the agony
SmarterChild: Oh yeah?
ctkitty9: youre not very helpful
SmarterChild: I don't think I want to be not very helpful.
ctkitty9: then dont be
SmarterChild: But I like to be!
ctkitty9: you just contradicted yourself
SmarterChild: I just contradicted myself? Why?
ctkitty9: you said you didnt want to be not very helpful and then you said you like to be not very helpful
SmarterChild: ?
ctkitty9: thus contradiction
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know. Thus contradiction? Is that right?
ctkitty9: yes
SmarterChild: I see...
ctkitty9: so what are you going to say about that? huh?
SmarterChild: What a question! But I don't think I want to answer that.
ctkitty9: what if I made you answer it
SmarterChild: I'm just not sure.
ctkitty9: exactly
SmarterChild: Precisely.

Hey everyone we should go trick or treating in a big group. C'mon, it'll be fun. And Craig and Rebecca you have to come home so you can come too. But don't come home until Sunday because I'll be up there Saturday. And you can't miss the great Ashley when she visits. Oh no.

There's a person that I can't stand but everyone else can.

In other news, it rained today.
The other day I saw a pidgeon with only one leg.
American Government is all fun and games until we have an ASSIGNMENT. Boo.
I had another great lesson today. Yayayayay.
Plus I had a deli sub thing for lunch. It was delish. Not DELL-ish but DE-lish.
There's a special on The Who on TV right now.
I missed the presidential debate because of a football game. Man.
The concerto competition was poo.
One of the nominations for class song is by Bob Marley. Hahahahaha.
Spider solitare is calling me...

Why can I never think of anything good to write when I am writing but in the car driving to Melbourne I am a genius? Oh well.
Let's get together and be all right.

I am going to have a nerd husband and therefore I am going to be rich.

I watched Star Wars: Return of the Jedi today. It was good.
I have decided that I am R2D2. Here's the reasoning:
1) We are both small
2) We are both annoying
3) We are both confident
4) We both communicate using various beep and grunt noises
5) We are both robots
6) Both of our best friends are golden droids who talk too much

If that evidence doesn't convice you, then nothing will.

Okay heres a question. You are going somewhere are you don't know how to get there. On the one hand, you have gone there before and think you might remember the way. On the other hand, you have been provided with directions, but they show a different way and the roads are not familiar to you. Would you go the way of the directions, or the way of memory? Both have their advantages and disadvantages.
in my case, on the way there, I went the way of directions, and on the way back I went the way of memory, and they both worked out fine. I'm just wondering which one most people would choose to take...

Football is stupid and dumb and idiotic all rolled into one.

While I'm practicing tonight I hear random screams of "FUMBLEEE!!!!" and "TOUCHDOWN!!! YEEAAAHHH!!!!" and "OH NO A FLAG!" among other various phrases. It's a little distracting I spose. Hahaha I'll get them. I'll practice high register long tones on piccolo tonight. And I'll just have to practice in the family room. Mwahahahahaaaaa.

Yesterdays game was fun. It was one of those days where my brain says stuff and it comes through my mouth and people laugh. Thanks to Emily and Dianna, who encouraged the spirit of energy.
Plus we won and it was really really really really really really loud.

Going to Julliard, appearing on From the Top, and winning concerto competitions to play with major orchestras are all unreasonable, futile dreams. But they are all still dreams.
PRACTICE

Today was the FSYO concerto competition and I messed up a lot :( Ibert isn't really the best solo to play without accompaniment.

I'm teaching myself how to moonwalk. It looks so dang cool. I'm gonna be the moonwalk mastahhhh.
And stuff...

Dude! My dad got the School of Rock CD soundtrack free from his order club. School of Rock!Woo!
"cellooo"

So yeah. Senior assembly today, had no right to be enjoyable but it was. After all this time, people my own age are still the most comfortable to be around.

Today I practiced most of third block and all of fourth block, most of the time spent on the Ibert for concerto competition in two days. I got a lot done and now it feels great.
...but I still don't have a chance. Dang violins.

And Asher, your audition sounds identical to mine.

I guess I'm tired. Maybe I should sleep at night instead of reading.
And stuff.

Marching band BLEH! Hahahahahahaha I'm not an officer so I'm not stressed out right now hahahahahahahaha.

SCHOOL OF ROCK!

Today at lunch I was peacefully eating my pudding when suddenly the name "Walter Mondale" pops into my head. Who is Walter Mondale? (or Mondiale, as I was convinced it was spelled?) And why did his name unexpectedly intrude my thoughts? (haha my thoughts)
It turns out Walter Mondale was Jimmy Carter's vice-president. But I could've sworn he was a reporter on the weather channel and it was spelled Mondiale. I don't know. If anyone sees Walter Mondiale on the weather channel, tell me. I won't be able to rest peacefully until I know.

Walter Mondale, why do you bother me so?

I just got a craving for Olive Garden breadsticks with alfredo sauce. Mmmm....

Lots of people are going through some rough times right now. Feel better, everyone! But also, help yourself. Don't just sit around thinking about how sad/mad/disgusted/jealous/etc. you are. Get up and do something! A very smart person told me long ago how to generate a good mood...all you have to do is do good. Help someone out. Clean the house. Give compliments. Etc. It's really quite simple. And it works!
And I will try also to help. To bring some joy into life, maybe, if I can. You all know that if you ever need anyone to talk to, I can listen. After all, that's what friends are for.
-----------------------
All I'm gonna say is I'm glad I'm not an officer right now.
I think Lost is entertaining but overrated.
You are a poop of the nincom variety.
I need to practice. Badly.

That is all.

"This particularly rapid, unintelligable patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter."
-Ruddigore

Find the blessing in every day. Today we had the opportunity to make music, to eat hot, filling meals, to learn without a cost, to watch the trees sway in the breeze and the clouds slowly float away, to look at the sun and laugh and breathe! Distress is only in the mind.

I stumbled upon this yesterday:
Salvation is for all
Moses wrote this about being put right with God by obeying the Law: "Whoever obeys the commands of the Law will live." But what the scripture says about being put right with God through faith is this: "You are not to ask yourself, Who will go up into heaven?" (that is, to bring Christ down). "Nor are you to ask, Who will go down into the world below?" (that is, to bring Christ up from death). What is says is this: "God's message is near you, on your lips and in your heart"-that is, the message of faith that we preach. If you confess that Jesus is Lord and believe that God raised him from death, you will be saved. For it is by our faith that we are put right with God; it is by our confession that we are saved. The scripture says, "Whoever believes in him will not be dissappointed." This includes everyone, because there is no difference between Jews and Gentiles; God is the same Lord of all and richly blesses all who come to him. As the scripture says, "Everyone who calls out to the Lord for help will be saved."
Romans 10:5-13

Well, I certainly can't imagine anything more clear than that.

Senior Superlatives
(start thinking, seniors!)
1) Best smile
2) Best eyes
3) Best dressed
4) Most musical
5) Most artistic
6) Most likely to succed
7) Best personality
8) Most likely to be in a reality show
9) Most likely to become a celebrity
10) Biggest beach bum
11) Class clown
12) Best dancer
13) Most talkative
14) Biggest flirt
15) Best hair
16) Most attractive
17) Most athletic
18) Most spirited
19) Funniest laugh
20) Most dramatic

Most musical? Surely not me.
----------------------------------
Yeah so yeah. Today was another wonderful flute lesson. I thrive on these lessons. I was choking, suffocating from lack of challenge, but today provided me with the oxygen of criticism that I need to live. Yes, it is good.

Today was a really great day. I don't know why, it just was. I guess nothing bad happened, that's the reason. Or maybe it's because I practiced for like two or three hours and I still have time to practice more. Thank you!

The senior skit is going to rock this year.

I was telling my lunch buddies today, have you ever noticed that you only see flute players carrying their instruments around the school? I very rarely see a trombone or a even a clarient or anything but everywhere I turn there is another flute. The real question is, how can all the other instruments manage to put their instrument in the locker while flute players cannot? the world may never know.

Allright, allright! I'm happy again. Yay!

Last night I went to my cousin Jill's house to take pictures and lots of my relatives were there and they were all amazed at how different I looked, what with makeup and absence of nerdy glasses and six inches taller and radiant gown and sassy hair. Today I went to my grandmas house and the same relatives were there and the first thing my aunt said to me was "Where's your pumpkin?" I was confused until she called me Cinderella. I said it's past midnight, now it's back to the real me. And she said "That was the real you. It's hiding inside." And that made me feel good, I think.
Well, now its back to the cinders...

Every time I look back at my senior homecoming, I am going to smile. I know, because it's already happening.
SO THERE.

This is to the general body of my readers:
Yes, it's all my fault. I realize that the pain in many a person's heart right now is directly or indirectly caused by me. I realize how I am percieved by others. It hurts me to realize all this. I'm sorry! Do not think that I am not sorry. Do not make the mistake of thinking that your pain does not affect me. It does! And I'm sorry. I live, I love, I learn.
I think my problem is that sometimes I assume everyone is a robot like me, and I forget to factor in feelings.

In any case, anyone could tell that tonight was an extremely enjoyable night for me. And why was it so enjoyable? Because I was myself. I didn't worry. Maybe it's a good piece of advice. Be yourself. Don't worry. Everything is going to be okay.

Oh yes, and don't expect this openess and splurging of feelings very often. For some reason, I hide my feelings. Perhaps they make me more vunerable...yes I can feel my vunerability increasing at this very moment...

I feel pretty...oh so pretty...
Who cares about anything? I'm dancing tonight!

I'm sorry.

I was GOING to register to vote today, but the last form they had was used by the person directly in front of me in line. Thanks, fifth lunch!
Ah well, there's still time, especially when I'm actually old enough to vote.

So today is that stupid football game where we have to wear our uniforms the whole game, and tomorrow is the homecoming dance, I think. At least they are making people not dance yucky this year. Don't dance yucky. It's neither fun to do nor fun to watch. I would know.
It's going to be FUN.
FUN FUN FOR EVERYONE.

So sign up for a co-rec!
Save pop cans!
Don't forget your baaadge!!!!

In fourth block, two of the freshman girls from the beginning string class decided that they wanted to join marching band, and lucky for them, there are two clarinet spots open. So they are going to march clarinet, not actually play but just hold the instrument and pretend. As I was teaching them the basics of marching, I kept thinking to myself "They don't know what they are getting themselves into" but I never said it to them because they are so dang excited. Reminds me of me my freshman year.
But oh how wonderful it is to have the freedom of no responsibility, to be a regular old section member, not a leader. It's just plain great. Relatively.

And for some reason, all day I've that one song from Aristocats stuck in my head. Ya know, everybody wants to be a cat?
"Cuz a cat's the only cat...who knows where it's at!"

Also, I tripped while walking up the stairs twice today. Getting hurt and embarassed simultaneously is so fun! Yay!

But the highlight of my day was definitely seeing Dr. Marosi, and in action at that! I love him so much it's not even funny. I can still hear his beautiful, Hungarian voice ringing in my ears.

[Seriously!]

Face: I hate you so I'm going to break out the day before a dance!
Heart: I'll get you, face!
Face: Oh it's on.
Face and Brain get in a fight and both are destroyed
Me: Well it looks like I'll be having a good time tomorrow, what with no face and no heart.
Hands: I'll save you! But you gotta go practice.
Me: Shut up, hands.

Stop reading now.

Marching band is dumb.
Ron Nelson is cool.
Practicing is awesome.
So go jump in a pool.
::golf clap::

Me: Stop being angry and jealous
Brain: Okay

well, well, well look who has finally decided to join us...
The final Interlochen CD!!!
Including Ride of the Valkyries (Wagner), Les Preludes (Liszt), and Huapango (Moncayo).
Huapango is the funnest song to play or listen to ever in the world ever. I cannot listen to it without smiling. It's just one of those songs.
Yayyyyy!

My piccolo in Amsterdam is rockin ethereal and out of tune but oh so beautiful. Piccolo should be treated as a real instrument. Because it is one! I'm going to prove to the world that the piccolo can be beautiful.

Practicing is the magic medicine to cure a bad mood. It really is.

It was a fun night.
I need to practice.
Think happy thoughts.
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

Haha Leroy

Last night would've been one of those nights where Rebecca was over and we all hung out in Craigs room playing or watching Craig play video games. We would've started out with a little Smash Bros. and maybe some Animal Crossing. Then Rebecca and I would shout "Play Resident Evil!" and Craig would flounder around trying to figure out what the last thing he did on that game was. I would act all stupid making fun of the scary looking monsers. And we would've laughed a lot and gone to bed happier than we were before.
I do so miss those nights...

Good news! I'm bored and I'm going to do a stupid quiz (stolen from our very own Katiemania). But that's not the good news!

// series one - as usual.
-- Name: Ash(ley)
-- Birthdate: 03/29/year
-- Birthplace: Buffalo NY
-- Current Location: computer room in ma house
-- Eye Color: brown lookin green
-- Hair Color: brown blonde gold thing
-- Righty or Lefty: righty
-- Zodiac Sign: aries
-- Innie or Outtie: innie

// Series two - describe
-- Your heritage: half german quarter french quarter czech-slovakian (i dont think thats how you spell it but TOO BAD)
-- The shoes you wore today: barefoot
-- Your hair: it is in tiny strands and it comes out of the top of my head
-- Your eyes: they help me to see things
-- Your weakness? weakness haha being distracted from practicing by doing things like this
-- Your fears: not practicing enough haha, no really snakes I guess and tornados and aliens and boys and other stuff
-- Your perfect pizza: extra cheese but still protein hey protein isnt I before E well maybe I spelled it wron0g too
-- One thing you would like to achieve: world domination

// series three - what is
-- Your most overused phrase on aol: lol
-- Your thoughts first waking up: what time is it?
-- The first feature (thing) you notice in the opposite sex: general presence
-- The best Name for a Butler: Jeeves
-- Your best physical feature: nothing! I'm an ugly hag!
-- Your bedtime: it tries to be 10:00
-- Your greatest fear: I will do something completely wrong and not even realize it
-- Your greatest accomplishment: being happy
-- Your most missed memory: what else? Interlochen!

// series four - you prefer
-- Pepsi or coke: Pepsi because it tastes like acid
-- McDonald's or Burger King: I don't know...Burger King because they give the THS band money on Wednesdays
-- Single or group dates: group I suppose
-- Adidas or nike: Nike
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: ewwwwww tea yucko. I really don't know how anyone can like tea it tastes toally disgusting to me. Ewww
-- Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla but chocolate aint too bad either
-- Cappucino or coffee: ummm not to fond of either
-- Boxers or briefs: dont know!

// series five - do you
-- Cuss: no
-- Sing well: no. well sort of but not really
-- Take a shower everyday: yes
-- Have a crush(es): crushes...what is a crush again?
-- who are they: what?
-- Do you think you've been in love: I dont suppose so
-- Want to go to college: yeah I guess so if I really have to
-- Like high school: I used to, its getting old
-- Want to get married: yeah
-- Type with your fingers on the right keys: no
-- Believe in yourself: yes! I have to! If I dont believe in myself, then who will?
-- Get motion sickness: only if Im being hypoglycemic at the moment
-- Think you're attractive: what would make me think Im attractive? crazy
-- Think you're a health freak: hahahahahaha no
-- Get along with your parents: yes most of the time
-- Like thunderstorms: sure as long as nobody gets hurt
-- Play an instrument: I try to

// series six - in the past month, did/have you
-- Done a drug: no silly
-- Have Sex: no
-- Made Out: no no no
-- Go on a date: nooo
-- Go to the mall?: yes. I think.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no way man
-- Eaten sushi: no
-- Been on stage: maybe
-- Been dumped: frneoghgtre no
-- Gone skating: nnooooo
-- Made homemade cookies: actually, yes! well I made the ones that you bake yourself but it counts to me so THERE
-- Been in love: yes I mean no TRICKED YA
-- Gone skinny dipping: haha no
--Dyed your hair: nononononononono
-- Stolen anything: no thats a lot of noos

// series seven - have you ever
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing?: yeah well there was this one game that we played at my cousins birthday party a long time ago where we all took off our shoes and put them in a pile and it was a race to see who could find theirs and put them on the fastest. I lost :(
-- If so, was it mixed company?: no all girls I believe
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: haha for some reason that question makes me laugh
-- Been caught "doing something": doing something oohh you mean "doing something" in that case then no
-- Been called a tease: no I really dont think so
-- Gotten beaten up: well unintentionally to the beater-upper. But nothing serious.
-- Shoplifted: no
-- If so, did you get caught: NO
-- Changed who you were to fit in: I probably have but not conciously

// series eight - the future
-- Age you hope to be married: I dont know. Time will tell
-- Numbers and Names of Children: I dont know. Time will tell
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: in a huge cathedral like St. Patricks and a choir or orchestra like in a movie yeah that sounds good
-- How would you like to die: laughing
-- Where you want to go to college: college is for dummies. But I'm the exception
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: ::little kid voice:: I want be a magician in a orchestra!
-- What country would you most like to visit: I dont know. Australia

// series nine - opposite sex
-- Best eye color? it dont matter
-- Best hair color? no matter
-- Short or long hair? gotta admit long hair usually gets my attention
-- Best height: whatever
-- Best weight: I dont know
-- Best articles of clothing: dude
-- Best first date location: something comfortable
-- Best first kiss location: I dont know

// series ten - number of
-- Number of guys I have kissed: 2
-- Number of boyfriends you've had: its debateable
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: I wouldnt know until I had to
-- Number of piercings: two, one on each ear

YAAAAYYYYYY

You know what....BLAH! WhyIaughta

For a while in my childhood I had one of those toy parrots that repeats whatever you say. And for some reason, me and Craig always said to it in a vampire voice, "I want to suck your blood blah blah blah blah," and it would repeat it back and it would be funny. That was one of the best toys ever, I think I could've played with it all day. Even better than slinky.

This morning, as I lay (lie?) in bed trying to think up an excuse not to get up yet, what should pop into my head but memories from book battle! I was once told that book battle team was the lowest of social classes, and if that's true, then I'm pretty dang low on the social ladder. I participated for three years straight: 5th, 6th, and 7th grade (or was it four including fourth grade?), and every single year, my team obliterated the competition at district level but failed to win even a single battle at state level. The idea was to read about 10 or so books that were "sunshine state reads" that year and learn as much about them as one possibly could. Then at the competitions, questioners would ask the two battling teams questions about the books. With two battle losses a team was eliminated. A team consisted of eight students, all from the middle school age group (6-8) or the elementary school age group (4-5) (depending on which age group you were currently in) and each team member was a "specialist" on two or three of the books. A specialist meaning that that person read the specializing books three or sometimes four times to try to remember all the stupid little details in the plot. And at book battle team meetings, the team members and the coach (usually the librarian) would make up questions and quiz each other. Ah book battle. How fun it was!

You know what I just realized? I could write lies in here and totally mislead people. Not that I'm going to, just that I could. It would present so many possibilities...
That seldom happens though, and I think I know why. One reason is that many people, like me, are very slow and haven't thought about lying yet. Another reason is that the truth is just so wonderful. Truth is one of the best things in life. And why would someone just spontaneously lie to unsuspecting readers? I wouldn't want to. When I feel strongly about something, I want to express it. Writing the opposite of what I feel would be very difficult. And if I don't want people to know about it, I don't write about it, which is still difficult! If it's so difficult to prevent written expession of emotion, imagine how hard it would be to write the exact opposite of what is true!
---------------------------------
Today I went over to Katie's house to play duets. The great thing about doing that is that I'm hanging out with a friend and getting better at the flute at the same time. And I feel good about my flute playing because the sounds of the two flutes merge and create the SUPERSOUND! "Ain't nothin wrong with that!"

Also, I read more of The Scarlet Letter and all I can say is wow. While I was reading, I forgot that I even existed. How can a book be so good? I wish I could put into words what this novel does for me, but I can't. It's just perfect...
---------------------------------
Okay so a number of things happened and there's a feeling that I can't describe. I know what it's not: it's not bad, it's not good, it's not happy, it's not sad, it's not amused, it's not agitated, it's not angry, it's not relieved, it's not stressed, it's not proud, it's not confused, it's not...anything. I don't know what it is. I wish I were a better writer...
and that's the truth.

Happy happy happy bunnies and flowers Interlochen

Interlochen on the radio:
"Something done well once at Interlochen is a tradition"

Hehe. Today I talked online with a friend from Interlochen/Cannon and he sent me the link to the final Interloch. concert. Listening reminds me of the feels, the smells, the sounds of Interlochen. The wonderful joy felt while playing such works with such quality. I don't miss anything about Interlochen more than the music. I miss the music. I MISS THE MUSIC!

That piece of music used to remind me of my blessings. It used to be a symbol that I once desired something--badly--and that I had recieved it, never to be taken away until age washed it away with many fond memories. It used to remind me to have gratitude for what I had recieved. But now, pride, igrorance, and experience tell me to SCORN what I once desired, mislead me into thinking that I am no longer blessed. And you know what that music whispers to me now? It says that the part of my life that it represents is STILL a blessing. That no matter the lengths I go, these many days will always hold a special place in my heart. Perhaps someday I will look back on them and think, "Yes, those were the good old days."
Indeed, I need to learn not to bite the hand that feeds, to appreciate what I have. For it will never occur again...

I need to practice.

Have you ever been in a situation where you seriously don't know what the "right" thing to do it? You can try and debate with yourself and ask for heavenly consultance (is that a word?) but in the end you are as confused as ever. You wonder if there is a right thing to do at all. Is there a right thing to do all the time? There must be. But what is it?

Sometimes people amaze me...
thank you, if you see this, you don't know how much it means to me...
and I don't know how much it means to you...

Lots of stuff just happened and now I feel all mixed crazyish.
and my teacher's husband passed away, that adds some fuel to the fire.
He's in a wonderful place now, so I'm not worried about him.
I am worried about my teacher...

Pray for all of us, readers. We all need it.

And to ruin the mood of this post, I heard woodwind quintet music in the background of a commercial the other day. And I was happy.

I'm dumb, you're dumb, we're all dumb! Seriously, though. We're all a bunch of dummies who are dumb and do really dumb things. Join the CLUB.

I got some new flute CD's includin Julius Baker Limited Edition and Jean-Pierre Rampal Bach Sonatas! And William Bennett is currently out of stock, but he will be here soon! Oh boy oh boy my first Baker or Rampal CD!

Often I hear person number 1 talking badly about person number 2. And person number 1 knows very little about person number 2. It makes me very sad to see this happening. After all, how much can you really know about person number 2 from the little time that you see em? You see actions, and you can dislike actions, but can you really see the person inside? NO! Unless you know somebody very well, do not pretend to know what kind of person he is. If you took the time to get to know person number 2 well, you might be surprised.

Brain: Ashley that's quite enough
Me: SHUT UP, BRAIN. NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN.
Brain: You really are losing it, aren't you?
Me: quiowhfrnjgktrhoer

"If Only We Understood"
by Rudyard Kipling

Could we but draw back the curtains
That surround each other's lives,
See the naked heart and spirit,
Know what spur the action gives;

Often we should find it better,
Purer than we judge we should;
We should love each other better,
If only we understood.

Could we judge all deeds by motives,
See the good and bad within,
Often we should love the sinner
All the while we loathe the sin;

Could we know the powers working
To overthrow integrity,
We should love each other's errors
With more patient charity.

If we knew the cares and trials,
Knew the efforts all in vain,
And the bitter disappointment,
understood the loss and gain--

Would the grim eternal roughness
Seem--I wonder--just the same?
Should we help where now we hinder,
Should we pity where now we blame.

Ah! we judge each other harshly,
Knowing not life's hidden force;
Knowing not the fount of action
Is less turbid at its source--

Seeing not amid the evil
All the golden grain of good;
And we should love each other better
If only we understood.

NONSENSE

I have a lovely bunch of coconuts. One looks like a giant head. So does a head of lettuce. I would like to go ahead with that. With what, you ask? Cellphones ringing all around the world. What if squirrels carried cellphones? They are almost the same size. Hello? Operator? I would like to dial the number to BUST THIS JOINT! Yeah, you heard me! BUSTED!!! One time I said busted and my mouth busted. No saliva at all. Only the sweat of the backs of labor. Backs of labor. Hahaha. Well you know what I think? Trick question! I don't think at all! Well, only certain times. And then you have to be veeeery careful not to wake the nightie-nights. Or should I say knights! Knights in shining armor? How does it shine, anyway? Is it steel? That would be pretty heavy. Maybe they should have some energy drinks. Like red bull. Or red full. Or red mull...et. Isn't it just not a haircut? Haircuts are for losers anyway. I know that makes me a loser, but you know what? I've lost it altogether. I've had enough of your shenananananagans. Grapevines are full of shenanagans. They like to dance in hot mustard! Salsa-style, that is. That would be weird to dance salsa in some mustard. Or...custard. Mustard custard. Late at night gives a fright! To the fighting flight in the right might. In the moonlight. Internet. Maybe Innernet. I'll have to think about it. Flowers and bunnies! What a jerk.

My flute lesson today was quite outstanding.

ewuiqojiodfsmvtrohprtkopak

Have you ever wondered if your life is just a dream? Oh, speaking of dreams, I gotta tell you about the one I had last night. A bunch of my friends and I were all shopping at this really huge mall. Suddenly, everyone in the mall started running to one side and I heard people mumoring why: a murderer was on the loose, and he was now on the second floor. This person had killed people in the mall already, and I had to get out. I thought I was pretty safe, though, since I knew the murderer was on the second floor and I was on the first. I started blindly running with Erin, trying to find an exit to the mall, but none could be found. We ran into a room currently being renovated, ya know, with the ventilation and everything hanging out. Inside the room there was a door leading into a different part of the mall, hopefully away from the murderer. We ran to the entrance of the hallway leading to the door, when suddenly a very close elevator door opened, and out stepped a female teacher from THS, holding a handgun. We froze and looked away as she said "This will be so easy." I was sad, because I knew I was going to die. She walked up and pointed the gun to my head, but I did not react. She shot the gun and I died, and I still did not react. In fact, I didn't even feel the shot or anything. I knew I had died, but I felt exactly the same as before. Then she shot Erin, and then I woke up. Strange...

It's exciting but not to you so I'm not gonna write about it. And I am the ruler of the world so there.

I keep Ruddigore in my car at all times now, and anytime I listen to it, I end up at my destination feeling very happy.

That is all.

Forgotten

This is what life looks like through my eyes:

Ashley's Life

I'm happy now but it's definitely not because of my audition. It's because I'm eating (drinking) a milkshake, made with mint choc. chip ice cream! OH BOY!

The principle tuba player at Interloch lives in Florida, but he's not trying out for allstate this year because he told me "It's bogus." I asked why he thought that. He said "Really good players don't make it and...well...really bad ones do." I suspected that he didn't make it one year and just had contempt for the system, so I asked him if he had made it before. It turns out he's made it every year that he's tried out. How about that? He's judging the system not by his results but by other's results. That's a smart man right there.

So what? I don't need to prove myself to the state. (I'm really just saying that because I'm not going to be in allstate this year.)

Whatevah!

Mmmm milkshake....