My teacher

Well, the band results came out, and I can't say I'm happy or unhappy.

I made fourth chair in the second band. On the one hand, I am in the top undergraduate band, I'm playing first part, I beat all the other freshman, and everyone ahead of me is a performance major who is older than me.
On the other hand, I'm Ashley, I'm ambitious, and I really wanted to do better than that. But it's a good start, I suppose. It's my first semester as a freshman, and I placed as well as anyone could expect of me.

The orchestra results haven't come out yet, but since there are high-level perfomance majors not on the band list, I'm assuming that they are going to fill the orchestra spots. But technically, there is still hope.

I hate when I like a guy just because he reminds me of another guy.

My prediction proved correct: my audition went well.
Yay!

The thing is, I learned for the audition (in total)
1 movement of a classical concerto
12 flute excerpts
4 piccolo excerpts

........and guess what they asked me to play?
(to find the answer, highlight below!)
1/2 movemenbt of a classical concerto
1 flute excerpt (a moderately hard one)
1 piccolo excerpt (the easiest)

And now in celebration, I shall eat some star crunch.

My first day of classes wasn't wonderful. I'm kinda bummed because I had to spend another $200 on books (all for one class I may add) when I spent $350 already. And I'll be spending more tomorrow. Plus I bought a nine dollar hole punch that the cashier dropped and never gave back to me. That one is partially my fault, I suppose. I should be thankful that is wasn't something more expensive. Like one of the books.

I read something about being thankful yesterday, and it helped me realize the infinite opportunities we have of being thankful to one another and to God. Billy Graham writes:
Thankfulness isn't our usual response when something goes wrong. We may have a hundred good things for which to be thankful--but let one bad thing happen, and it's all we think about!
.......
[Matthew Henry] wrote in his diary [when he was mugged], "Let me be thankful first because I was never robbed before; second, although they took my purse, they did not take my life; third, because although they took my all, it was not much; and fourth, because it was I who was robbed, not I who robbed."

I can't wait until I audition and then get the results so I can stop worrying!

God help me.

Colin, my english teacher looks like you will look in about 25 years.
He's got the same body type, facial hair, haircut, and general way of speaking, and he also mumbles a lot like you.
His name is Ian.

Today is my first day of classes. Yay!....I mean, boooo.

If I have ever had a chance to have a great audition, it is this one (on Tuesday).
I have practiced my brains out in hopes that I might break the chain of upperclassmen and win a spot in orchestra.
I have sacrificed so much to practice: sleep, time with friends, and everything else I wanted to do this summer.

I've signed up for the very first audition time so that the judges may have no prejudice to any playing before me (also so that I don't have to wait a million years because they are running behind. Also so that I can get it over with and not worry longer than I need to. Also because I have a class later.)

I am ready, as ready as I've ever been for an audition.
I'm so excited! This is going to be fun and awesome.

I have the worst sense of direction in the world. I don't know how I'm going to survive.

Well, I don't know about you guys, but I think college is pretty much the best thing ever.

I know judgement stops thought, but does thought stop judgement?

1 Corinthians is so awesome I can't even describe it.

There are so many issues that I feel dirctly relate to me. For example, I have often felt tension in the world because of the divisions in Christian religion (mostly between Catholicism and Protestantism), and I have always wished that the division wouldn't exist and that we could all live in peace. Paul writes,
"Now I appeal to you , brothers and sisters, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you be in agreement and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same purpose. For it has been reported to me by Chole's people that there are quarrels among you, my brothers and sisters. What I mean is that each of you says, 'I belong to Paul,' or 'I belong to Apollos,' or 'I belong to Cephas,' or 'I belong to Christ.' Has Christ been divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?"
1:10-13

Also, I have before felt doubt about my purpose in life. I do not doubt what my purpose is (to make music), but I sometimes doubt the meaning of the purpose. How is this bringing anyone closer to God? How is this useful at all? But in 1 Corinthians, Paul says:
"Indeed, the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot would say, 'Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,' that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear would say, 'Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,' that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? But as it is, God arranged the members of the body, each one of them as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many members, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I have no need of you,' nor again the head to the feet 'I have no need of you.'"
12:12-21

Here's another example. I sometimes feel that I am missing something in my life. I am generally a successful person in the world. I have everything that I need, and I have faith. But sometimes, I just feel that I am not doing enough. And I discovered when I read this:
"If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all the mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possesions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."
13:1-3

And that's not even the beginning of the message in this book.

I feel so refreshed.

Go read it.

I think our refrigerator is on too cold, because my milk is starting to freeze inside the carton.

So I'm talking with my roomate and suitemates, and I say,
"We have to get a lot of pizza! Let's have lots of pizza nights!"
And they all look at me like I'm crazy.
Somebody says, "Ash...pizza is bad for you."

?

Tell me this isn't normal.

Even from hundreds of miles away, my mother's voice still manages to depress me. I am very glad that I will not live with the yelling anymore, at least for a while. I hate the yelling. I hate the anger. I hate the temper. I hate the devil.

If mother is like daughter, I will be very sad.

Yay! It is fun here!

I'm living in Tallahassee, and you can't stop me.

Goodbye, cruel high school world!
Hello [insert adjective here] college world!

My bed is very soft, and that makes me happy.


End of post

Today was a very stressful day, and I'm glad that it's almost over.
Tomorrow will be a good day, I hope.

I'm so excited!
I have all these dreams about college in my head, and I know some of them may just be dreams and nothing more, but the hope is keeping me happy at the moment.

I'm going to find music and guys and a religious organization where the members don't look down upon my religion and friends and knowledge and concerts and freedom and a place that I can keep as untidy as I like and so much more.

I'm not looking back.

I'm ready.





(I think)

I took my flute in for several small last-minute repairs and a general check-up, and I had to leave it at the shop because Charlie was so "slammed" with repairs. Now I'm sad because I wanted to practice all night. Of course, I still can practice all night, but it would either have to be on:
A) My piccolo (which can get to you after a while, both the ringing in the ears and the amount of energy it takes to play)
or
B) My old Gemeinhardt (which depresses me every time I play it)

I feel like this whole summer has been a constant fight to find time to practice. It seems like every time I think I am going to have time to practice, something comes up and the time I thought I would have is taken away.

BUT I trust Charlie's ability to repair instruments, and I know that when I get my flute back, it will be better than I can ever remember. It really did need some repairs pretty badly, and this is a good time to do it.

I know enough not to worry at this point. I will make good use of my time.